The smell of roses wakes Jongin from his sleep. He’s dripping with sweat. He’s coughing even though he’s not sick. His heart hurts, if that’s even possible. And he’s shaking…he’s shaking like crazy.

He rolls over and looks at the clock. Even though the 1:42 AM is flashing brightly at him in neon blue, it’s the moonlight that’s shining on it that catches him.

His only thoughts…his entire mind is wrapped around…where is Do Kyungsoo?

In his hands he realizes that he’s holding the beautiful red flowers. Their presence haunts him and he feels like throwing them at the wall. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t have the heart to do so.

Jongin’s hands release the roses, allowing them to fall into his lap. Then he brings his fists to cover his face and lets the saltwater, which is streaming out from the corners of his eyes, drip through his fingers and down his wrists.

He only looks up when he feels like he’s drowning in his own tears. As he glances away from his soaked fingers, he catches sight of the lamppost, dimly lighting the dark street, which had moonlight collapsed onto it like a faded spotlight over a brighter one.

And all he can think…his entire mind is wrapped around…where is Do Kyungsoo?

His memory is faded…faded with a burning sensation. The scald is like fear. It’s not the fearing of getting hurt. It’s the fear of doing damage to someone else. It’s the fear of knowing things will never be the same. And as Jongin’s memory clears, the blistering, searing burn only escalates and he feels it in his heart.

Why did that happen?

He sits and wonders in regret, wondering why he even bothered to sleep.

The events of the night unfold in his brain.

Kim Jongin is looking great in his suit. He tried especially hard to make sure there were no wrinkles. Make sure that the entire appearance was crisp and handsome. It was all for Kyungsoo.

He doesn’t  know when he decided that he wanted to make an effort for the nerdy, brat who had caught his attention months ago, but whatever it was that had drawn him to him, Jongin is determined to never let it go.

They have the weirdest relationship. It is never questioned. It is never discussed. They are mere kids, of only the ages eighteen and seventeen.  And it all started with a heated argument and constant battles to be on top.

But it turned into something more. Their hate. Their disgust. Their absolute writhing thoughts of each other. It built into a friendship that no one ever understood.

And it wasn’t questioned. It wasn’t discussed.

This party is important. It has everything to do with Jongin and it doesn’t have anything to do with Kyungsoo. They just happen to be going together.

Jongin doesn’t know when he started to feel this way for Kyungsoo either. He doesn’t know where the burning desire to hold him came from.

When Jongin sees Kyungsoo under the bright lights, he shivers in anticipation. The smaller boy, with his large eyes, is walking around cluelessly, finding everything intriguing.

“Hey,” Jongin finally says.

Kyungsoo nods, a smile creeping up into his face.

Jongin is holding the roses behind his back but he’s too afraid to pull them up yet. He wants to wait. He feels that there are too many people around them.

They are surrounded by majestic pillars and a dreamy marble floor is beneath them. A swarm of people in party dresses have them engulfed as they all dance.

The two boys don’t dance but they sit and talk like they normally do. It’s something that is too natural. Their relationship had started with hate but ended with love.

Jongin is finally able to hand Kyungsoo the flowers. He takes them graciously, smelling their distinctive scent that makes his head spin.

Without knowing it, Jongin pulls Kyungsoo into a kiss. Their lips melt together into a rhythm, moving in sync like gears working in a system. Saliva mixes between their tongues and Kyungsoo is so dizzy that his only support is Jongin’s arm, wrapped tightly around his waist.

He whimpers and feels that Jongin is totally in control. But he trusts him. He trusts that Jongin does not mind the other people.

The party has to do with Jongin’s dad and Kyungsoo never got an invitation. Except from Jongin. It is mostly business people who attend so Jongin begged for someone to come with.

However, Mr. Kim doesn’t plan on seeing his son smooching his specially invited guest. He is not only disgusted but he feels betrayed.

“Jongin,” He says to his son, interrupting Jongin and Kyungsoo. “Have you informed your friend of your fiancé?”

And that is when Jongin feels his heart stabbed. The look on Kyungsoo’s face is enough to set his mind ablaze.

“I-I…”

“Fiancé?!” Kyungsoo’s voice is shrill, hurt and stabs like a knife. “I can’t believe you played with me Kim Jongin!”

But Kim Jongin knows he wasn’t playing. He has no fiancé.

The roses are shoved into Jongin’s hands. Their touch is like poison to him and it stings. Kyungsoo’s running feet seem to make his ears deaf because he cannot hear his father. But he sees his dads look of triumph.

And he runs off in the opposite direction, the roses still pained in his hand.

Jongin throws the roses on the ground and screams into the night, hoping his father hears. He hopes his father loses sleep because of his lies.

He feels like his heart is shattered into a million pieces. But he manages to pick up the worn out roses and lay on his bed, burying his face into them, tears stream down into the petals.

That night Jongin sleeps with a broken heart and it hurts so badly.

Everywhere smells like roses. No…it’s the rain…it must be raining roses.

Jongin searches everywhere. Where is Kyungsoo? Where is he?

And then he hears a whimper. And they’re in Jongin’s room. And there’s Do Kyungsoo. He walks towards Jongin and wraps his arms around him.

They sit and cry. They sit and cry.

No words are exchanged.

It feels as if they are feeding off each other’s pain.

The smell of the raining roses returns though. It’s suffocating his nostrils yet all Jongin wants to do is continue to hold Kyungsoo in his arms on the floor of his room.

The smell of roses wakes Jongin from his sleep. He’s dripping with sweat. He’s coughing even though he’s not sick. His heart hurts, if that’s even possible. And he’s shaking…he’s shaking like crazy.

He rolls over and looks at the clock. Even though the 1:42 AM is flashing brightly at him in neon blue, it’s the moonlight that’s shining on it that catches him.

His only thoughts…his entire mind is wrapped around…where is Do Kyungsoo?

Finally, Jongin shakes his head. He fell asleep with the roses in his hands and they once again woke him up. He sits up in his bed, and then falls onto his knees, not breathing.

Was Do Kyungsoo really here? Is he standing in my room? No he’s not. Because he’s gone.

Gone.

Gone.

Gone.

Gone.

His reoccurring nightmare hurts. It is the side effects of dreaming with a broken heart. Before Jongin breaks, he gathers the roses in his arms and he runs.

He runs out the door, past the streetlamp, past the wet streets, roses clutched in his fingers.

The lights of the city cloud his eyes, brightness blinding him. He searches for only twelve minutes and forty two seconds.

He knows Kyungsoo is gone. He knows he will never get those roses.

Jongin runs back to his room, his breath ragged, and his suit wrinkled, in contrast to how crisp it had looked when the night was young, when Kyungsoo was still his.

The moonlight in the room when Jongin returns is lessened. Jongin notices and squints and steps forward and realizes there is a shadow, blocking some of the moonlight.

There in his room, was the silhouette of Do Kyungsoo.

Neither of them says anything…not until Jongin steps forward after the silence and holds up the rose.

“Are you real?” He questions, eyes glistened.

Kyungsoo stands there, perfectly still but confused.

“Of course…”

Kim Jongin steps closer and hands Kyungsoo the wrinkled, tears stained roses.

And then he wakes up again, the smell of roses fresh in his nostrils.

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A/N: What the hell did I just write? Lol. Well I can’t update my other story because it’s like…not there. Hasn’t transferred servers or something like that. So my subs and karma went down too -_- not like I care that much about that stuff but it’s like…wae…my story better not be gone T_T Hope you enjoyed this haha…it got confusing for me. It’s inspired by John Mayors song ‘Dreaming with a Broken Heart’ …freaking love that song. I tried a new style of writing so I really apologize if it gets confusing. This kinda turned out lamer than I thought it would hwoiefosidfsiofd. Oh well. I had to just get this out. Sooo comment and tell me what you think. I’ve never tried this style so…I’m really sorry if it turned out lame >.> Check out the song by the way.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1dOE-oeLG0