“Drive safely!” Luhan told Sehun as they stood outside Luhan’s house on the front porch. Sehun has just met his parents for the first time after dating for four months.

“You know I always drive safely,” Sehun chuckled at the older male, “I had fun at the dinner tonight.”

“My parents loved you,” Luhan exclaimed remembering how his mom wouldn’t stop talking about how handsome Sehun is at the dinner table, “they probably expect you more around the house now.”

“I’ll gladly come,” Sehun smiled genuinely. The two leaned in for a quick kiss before Sehun headed to his old car. He just got it a month ago from his dad who refused to get him a new car. It didn’t matter to Sehun though, he wasn’t trying to get anyone’s attention with it. He already had an amazing boyfriend, great friends; there was no need for anything else.

Luhan watched the dark blue car drive away and smiled to himself. He turned around opening the front door when he heard a huge bang. Followed by a car beeping. Screaming. Constant screaming.

--

“Ah!” Luhan jerked awake. He sat up covering his eyes with his palms.

“What’s wrong?” the figure next to him sat up as well.

“I just had a nightmare,” Luhan shook his head laying back down. Sehun wrapped his pale arms around the older boy snuggling into his neck.

“It was about me, wasn’t it?” he whispered.

“It was that night…” Luhan said shutting his eyes tightly. He places his hand on top of Sehun’s intertwining their fingers. Silence eloped them as they lay together quietly thinking to themselves. Neither wanted to speak, neither wanted to cry, but soon tears dripped down Luhan’s face.

“You’re crying,” Sehun finally broke the silence, “don’t cry.”

“I just miss you,” Luhan whispered back letting his tears wet the soft pillow under his head.

“I’m still here with you,” Sehun pulled him in closer, their bodies now touching fully. His free hand came up to Luhan’s face wiping away the tears.

“I want to be able to hold your hand in public, I want for us to go out on dates, I just want to be a couple with you,” Luhan sobbed quietly.

“I’m sorry,” Sehun’s hot breathe tickled Luhan’s white neck, “it’s my entire fault you’re hurting like this. If only I was careful that day.”

“Don’t you dare say that!” Luhan turned himself to face Sehun. His eyes reflected anger that Sehun saw even in the pitch dark, “it wasn’t your fault!”

“I would still be here with you to finish high school, you’d be happy,” Sehun lowered his head. Luhan placed his hand on Sehun’s cheek feeling the ice cold skin.

“You’re really cold.”

“I thought you got used to it already.”

“I’ll never get used to it,” Luhan leaned in for a kiss, but pulled away as soon as he realized that mistake he was about to make, “I’m sorry.”

“Maybe you should just do it,” Sehun stared at Luhan caressing his cheek lovingly, “just kiss me, so I can go.”

“No,” Luhan said shortly turning himself around, closing his eyes. They had the conversation an endless amount of times. Sehun was scared of leaving, but he knew that it was the right choice. He was eventually going to leave, he just had to convince Luhan

--

“Luhan, could you please this young man to room 36B?” a teacher stopped Luhan as he was on his way to lunch. Next to the teacher stood a baby faced boy who Luhan did not recognize.

“Uh, sure,” Luhan smiled motioning the boy to follow him.

“Thank you so much,” the boy laughed awkwardly scratching his neck as the two walked together.

“It’s no problem, you’re new, right?”

“Yeah, my first day of school, and I got lost like three times,” the boy said, “I’m Xiumin.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Luhan.”

--

Sehun laid on Luhan’s bed shifting around for the past twenty minutes. All he could think of was just how much easier it would be for Luhan if he just left. Every day, whenever Luhan left for school he’d just lay on the bed wishing Luhan would just kiss him. Let him go. It was the only way for him to leave.

Yet, Luhan was as stubborn as ever.

That’s when he heard the cheerful chatter fill the house. They were here. Luhan and Xiumin.

Sehun remembered the day Luhan told him about Xiumin. How great of a friend he was. How handsome he was. How much fun he had with him. From that point, Xiumin came over at least once a week.

Sehun was happy. He really was.

Seeing Luhan smile and laugh so much made his heart warm, but he couldn’t help but feel betrayed. How could he just bring another man into the house while he was there? Didn’t he think of how much pain Sehun is going through already?

“Let me get my laptop so I can sing for you,” he heard Luhan speak. Sehun glanced at the table where the pink laptop was placed.

“Sehun-ah,” Luhan opened the door calling for him quietly. He didn’t get a response back, but a cold stare.

“Go sing to Xiumin,” Sehun said bluntly taking his gaze off the shocked male.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Just leave,” Sehun said placing his face on a pillow. After a few moments he heard the door close and he knew he was alone yet again. There was a little talking coming from outside, and soon he heard the voice.

It was the voice that he fell in love with. He remembered hearing it for the first time when walking by the music room at school. It was singing along to a beautiful piano melody, that Sehun still can’t get out of his head.

Not that he needed to. It was that same song he was singing right now.

“Baby don’t cry- tonight-“

Sehun covered his ears with his palms trying to block out the sound. Yet the melody and the singing was playing in his head. The image of Luhan singing to him flashed in his head. Him staring into his eyes lovingly as the voice soothed his ears.

Sehun knew that if he could, he would be crying. So many thoughts crossed his mind at the moment. He had to go. He just had to.

By the time Xiumin left the apartment the sun has set and Luhan’s parents were home.

“Sehun-ah,” Luhan opened door to his door carefully, “can we talk?”

“I should leave,” Sehun alleged. He was sitting on the edge of Luhan’s bed facing his back towards the door. Luhan’s skinny arms suddenly wrapped around his fit waist leaning his cheek against his back.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“It’s for the best. Just kiss me. Just let me go,” Sehun answered back unwrapping Luhan’s arms and walking to the window. He stared at the city opened up in front of him. He hasn’t been out there since that night, three years ago. He longed for it, but he knew that if he just left he’d never be allowed to rest in peace.

“I’m sorry,” Luhan repeated himself.

“I’m hurting Luhan, I’m hurting because I am going crazy from being stuck in your room, I’m hurting because I can’t even go see my family, I’m hurting because I see you moving on.”

“I’m not moving on, I will only love you for the rest of my life.”

“That’s what you’re saying now, I see you falling for Xiumin. You know just as well as I do that you’re the only way for me to end this in peace.”

“I’m not falling for Xiumin!” Luhan argued back, “I will love you even when it’s time for me to go.”

“Just please d-don’t fall in love with Xiumin while I’m still here,” Sehun stuttered wishing he could just cry. Wishing he could let all of his pain out once and for all.

“I’m not going to fall in love with Xiumin while I have you!” Luhan ran over to his lover hugging him tightly from the back. The two stood physically and emotionally attached together. Luhan was wetting Sehun’s back with his tears, while all Sehun could do was just stand and care the pain.

--

“Luhan, I have a question,” Xiumin whispered. The two sat in class, trying to stay awake while the teacher gave a lecture.

“Yeah, what is it?”

“I’ve been hearing about your ex-boyfriend,” Xiumin whispered again, glancing around to make sure no one was eaves dropping.

Luhan cringed. He hated it when people talked about Sehun in that way. Calling him his ex-boyfriend. Yet that’s all he was to them.

“What about him?” Luhan kept on a poker face pretending to take notes.

“I heard what happened, I’m so sorry, I wish I’d known earlier,” Xiumin lowered his head not sure what to say next. Of course he was shocked when he found out about Sehun, but he wasn’t planning on leaving Luhan’s side.

“Well we can’t exactly do anything about it,” Luhan shrugged his shoulders. He felt terrible that he was acting so indifferent about it, but he knew that if they talked about this in a deeper manner he’d spill everything out.

“Look if you need anyone to talk to, you know I’m always here for you.”

That’s when Luhan broke down. He let tears spill yet again, he put his head down quietly sobbing to himself.

“Its m-much more complicated than the school gossipers make it out to be,” Luhan finally spoke after gathering himself.

“What do you mean?” Xiumin leaned in closer.

“The day of he died, when he got into the car accident I ran over to him since it happened near my house. I was the last person he saw before dying. I was the last voice he heard before dying. The next day he came back. His ghost came back,” Luhan explained remembering Sehun’s blood covered face as they hugged in the middle of that busy street, “he explained that he couldn’t leave the earth unless I let him go. The only way to let him go is to kiss him and seal the deal.”

Xiumin wasn’t sure to say. Of course he understood that Luhan probably wasn’t over his first love, but he didn’t expect just how deep their love went. Was this one of those situations where love beat death?

“I can’t let him go,” Luhan whispered shutting his eyes tightly to stop anymore tears.

The night flashed before his eyes again. One minute they’re kissing goodbye, and another minute Sehun is bleeding to death. His heart cringed when he remembered the last words that came out of Sehun’s mouth. “Please be happy, for me. I love you.” Then his eyes closed slowly and he let out his last breath.

Luhan remembered screaming his lungs out. Hugging the bloody dead body. Praying that this was all a dream.

“I will love you for a thousand years,” he remembered whispering into his lovers ears, not even sure if he even heard the words.

--

Sehun knew it was time for him to go. He couldn’t bear watching Luhan and Xiumin sit together on the couch watching a TV show together. He watched as Luhan’s head fell on Xiumin’s shoulder as the two laughed together.

If only Luhan knew that he was watching them, he probably wouldn’t act like this. Sehun hated that. Whenever they were alone Luhan always said “I can’t let you go. I can’t live without you.” but whenever Xiumin was around, he gave off a completely different vive. Sehun just felt thrown away.

‘I’ll let Luhan decide when he wants me to go,” Sehun thought to himself. He was about to leave the room when Xiumin’s words stopped him.

“Is Sehun here right now?”

“He usually stays in my room,” Luhan answered back.

“I feel a little guilty being here,” Xiumin said quietly as if scared that Sehun was going to hear them. Too bad he did. He was now drilling a hole into Luhan’s head.

“He never comes out here, its okay,” Luhan said as he gave Xiumin an eyes smile. Sehun was mad. He was really mad. How could he just talk about him like it was nothing.

“I really like you Luhan, I just feel so ing guilty all the time,” Xiumin said looking down at his white palms.

That stabbed Sehun. He stood there motionless waiting for Luhan’s response. What came next sent him dying all over again.

“I like you too.”

He likes him.

That was the first step to love.

He’s had enough.

All that talk about letting Luhan decide when he should leave. That wasn’t the case now.

He finally revealed himself to his lover’s eyes now standing right in front of the couple on the couch. Luhan’s eyes widened as he saw the fierce glare from the man in front of him.

“Sehun-ah, this is not… I didn’t…” Luhan began explaining, but his voice trailed off when he realized that he had nothing to say. Everything was seen, and he could do nothing about it.

“Kiss me,” Sehun said advancing closer to Luhan.

“No, please, not now, please,” Luhan begged, shaking his head. He now tried to look anywhere but Sehun. He tried to escape that glare that he was giving him.

“You don’t love me, I can tell, just please let me go,” Sehun said, his tone now begging as well.

“I can’t…” Luhan cried.

Xiumin was watching the scene with eyes bulging out. He wasn’t sure if he should be scared or supportive. He knew that Sehun was now near them, but he had no idea what was going on.

Next, he watched as Luhan stood up aburtly, almost as if he was being pulled up by an invisible force, Sehun he thought.

Luhan’s face was now held in place with Sehun’s palm, gripping tightly onto his jaw. Luhan groaned in pain. Sehun’s other hand laid on Luhan’s back forcing their bodies together.

“Please, don’t do this, I love you, please,” Luhan begged with his eyes closed. He knew what was coming next. He would finally feel those soft pink lips on his after three years. If they were in a different situation he would be longing to feel them on his, but now it was the last thing he wanted.

“You told me you wouldn’t fall in love with Xiumin while I’m here,” Sehun gritted through his teeth staring at his lover’s perfect features, “you lied to me.”

“I’m not ready for this,” Luhan let tears drip down his porcelain skin. He started to try to free himself out of the tight grasp he was in, but with no luck.

“Shut up!” Sehun exploded, “We both knew I should’ve left a long time ago! Just let me end my sufferings!”

With that, Sehun smashed their lips together. Luhan screamed into the kiss trying to break it. But it was all too late. When he felt his jaw relax he opened his eyes to see no one in front of him.

He was gone.

Just like that.

He was gone.

“!” he screamed collapsing on the floor, “I loved you! I loved you! I loved you!”

He chanted the same words over and over again as he felt soft arms pull him into an embrace. His whole body shook like a thunderstorm, his mouth let out a string of profanities, he hit Xiumin’s back with his weak punches.

‘You told me you would love me for a thousand years’ Sehun said to himself as he stood on the side watching Luhan scream ‘you didn’t, stop lying to yourself. But it’s okay, please just be happy, and realize that I love you.’ With that he left.

--

I don't even know.

The end was so choppy

I'm so sorry I disapointed you guys ;__;

Just wait for my Kaisoo oneshot to be up... when AFF gets it together -_-

but still comment~ 

Please support my tumblr page~ http://butterfly-kisseu.tumblr.com/post/28823806634 (I have all my fanfics on there and I post information on when a new one is coming out ^.^