The beat.

The heat.

The anger.



Key seriously thought that he could manage his rage but as the concert just continued agonizing minute by agonizing minute he knew he would blew up when they were off the stage. He saw the scene in his head over and over again. Jonghyun's perfect body bent back right before he tugged Taemin's hair. He rocked his body from side to side, yanking Taemin's head back. Key almost forgot to breath when he saw Jonghyun's lips so close to Taemin's. Only a brief second, in fact a brief half a second, and the moment was gone. Taemin yanked himself free and keps singing.

God he hated fanservice. Jonghyun was his. Too bad that because of the stupidity of their manager he couldn't tell it to that ing idiot who designed their shows and it seemed like someone at some point had decided that his Jonghyun had to worship Taemin. It wasn't fair! And Jonghyun seemed utterly pleased when he got to be close to their cute little Taemin. Too pleased if Key got a word to say.

God he hated Taemin. That kid was always so perfect, so cute, so adorable and so ing innocent that he got all the attention. From the band, from the fans and even from the company. Taemin this and Taemin that. He was so sick of it that he wanted to throw up. And now that little baby face got to get handsy with his Jonghyun!

After re-experiencing the scene about three thousand and sixty times Key got his relieving in the backstage. He pushed everyone away from his way, knocking Minho accidentally down, and locked himself into the bathroom. Lights were beyond unnecessary while he started ripping of his shirt. Caring as much as he would care about a pair of ugly jeans about where the shirt might have landed he shot a kick into the darkness. Something broke with a snap and something fell on the floor. Next was a turn for a punch. That was the worst idea he had got during the day. Key shoved his fist into the pitch black air in front of him and cried out in pain when his knuckles hit a solid surface that gave in under his direct shot and shattered. He felt the splinters dig into his skin as he collapsed on the floor.



Of course the always perfect Taemin heard him and knocked on the door.

"Key...? Hyung, are you okay?"

" off!" Key shouted and curled into a ball.

"I heard something broke and--"

" off I said!"

"O-o-okay..."



Silence. Key wasn't sure was he happy or devastated. Only Taemin cared? Only the perfect little Taemin that he hated so much? Why couldn't Jonghyun care?! His perfect Jonghyun, only his. Tears found their way on his cheeks. The lump in his throat started to disturb breathing, his hand ached as the warm liquid ran between his fingers to his pawn and up his forearm. He had rather felt all that pain over and over again than seen the act on the stage. How long has it been? How long had he loved Jonghyun? Too long. For too long he had been shooting daggers at the fans that got to hug him, at the pretty interviewers that got a killer smile from him, at the band members that were close to him. Key had problems with his appearance, he might be y and cocky and always caring about his looks but he had no idea how to approach a guy he loved.

Maybe if he had told Jonghyun how he felt and got the rejection or approval from him, he wouldn't be so jealous. Or at least everyone would know why he had been so tense since their last tour when Jonghyun had said half-hearted things to Minho and Onew. To Key, they were bullets right to his heart.



Someone knocked the door again.

" off!"

"Key. Don't be a . What's going on?" It was Onew.

". Off! I don't want to talk to you."

"Key. Really. You've been odd since forever! Come out so we can talk."

Key didn't feel like talking but Onew was the one he could trust. Onew wouldn't be running his mouth right away to the others. Onew would help.

"I don't want to talk anyone but you, okay?"

"That's completely fine. Let me in."

Key gathered his limps under him and crawled to the door holding his sore hand against his bare tummy. He opened the lock and backed off.



–



Onew opened the door, closed it behind him and locked it before turning on the lights. Bathroom was a mess. Not, it was a chaos beyond anything thinkable. Shelf in the corner was broken, it's thin wooden walls had broke in the middle. Everything that had been in the shelf was now on the floor happily mixed with shards of the broken mirror on the wall. There was blood too.

Key sat in the corner, hugging his right hand, tears drying on his cheeks. Onew tried to think why but he couldn't come up with any sensible explanation. He would just have to make Key open up a little. He sat on the toilet.



–



"So. What's the matter?" Onew asked.

Key looked at his own toes. Bad idea! He tried not to panic and run away.

"Key. Look. I don't know what's going on but I want you to talk to me so I can help. We have been worried about you! You have been nagging and y since the last tour and now you've mashed a mirror with your bare hand. This isn't like you at all! What's going on?"

Tears filled his eyes and he sobbed once, then again and pressed his face against his knees. He was still angry, he wanted to mash more things but inside all he wanted was a hug. From Jonghyun, if possible.

"I-- When Taemin-- Jong-- They k-kissed and I--"

"Taemin and Jonghyun kissed? When did that happen?" Onew said with surprised voice.

"O-on the...stage."

"It wasn't a kiss. It was--"

"You want me to tell or not?!" Key scowled.

"Okay, okay. Sorry... Go on."

But Key didn't feel like talking anymore. He swallowed the rest of his tears, wiped the ones from his cheeks off with his left hand and left the bathroom. Quick glance to the clock told him that it had been only five minutes from the end of the show. He turned to walk away, maybe to get something to drink but his eyes caught a sight from the couch. Taemin and... Jonghyun. Taemin was curled up against Jonghyun's side, sighing deeply between his silent words. Jonghyun nodded here and there, patting his back.



Key's vision went red, blood red. He walked sturdy to the couple in the lounge room and yanked Taemin up with a firm hold of the back of his neck. With his sore and bloody right hand he punched him in the stomach.

"I hate you! You hear me?! I. Hate. YOU!" he shouted.

Taemin bent forward, protecting his stomach from more punches with his hands. Jonghyun stood up and stepped between them.

"Key, what the ?! Are you out of your mind?!"

"Oh, sorry. Did I hurt your precious Taemin?! Well, boohoo!"

"Key?!"

"Shut up. Shut up. Shutupshutupshutup!"

In that state of rage he didn't control his fists but started hitting Jonghyun too. Deep in his heart he knew that it was all Jonghyun's fault. Jonghyun got handsy with Taemin. Jonghyun confessed his love, well okay it was a joke but anyway, to Minho and Onew. Jonghyun was the one who never seemed to know that he existed when they were of the stage and highlights. Never.



But Jonghyun was stronger than Key. He grasped his wrist, stopping them completely, holding his bandmate still.

"Key. What the is wrong with you?!"

Through his blurred vision Key saw that Minho had come to help Taemin and Onew was there too, staring at him like a stranger. Key shook his head and tried to yank himself away.

"Let me go!"

"No. Not before you tell us what's wrong."

"Nothing!"

"! Don't lie."

"Don't call me a !"

"I will if you don't--"

"I love you!"



Jonghyun's grasp loosened and Key got to escape but he stumbled on his feet an fell on the floore.

"Wh-what?" Jonghyun whispered.

"No-nothing... I didn't-- it was... N-nothing.." Key started to sob and hid his face.

"Y-you love me-me?"

They both had some kind of lack in the brain functions at the time so Onew took the lead of the situation.

"Is that why you hit Taemin, Key? Because what happened on the stage?"

"Y-yes.."

"You were jealous?"

"Ye-yes..."



Onew came to him, knelt on the floor and touched his arm.

"Key..."

"No. Don't. Please... Ta-taemin I'm so s-sorry... I didn't-"

"I know", Taemin gasped. "I know but I have nothing going on with Jonghyun. Absolutely nothing. We're just friends and that thing on the stage was... Not our idea, you know it."

Key lowered his head. Yes. He knew it. But he had been blinded by his jealousy, with his rage, that he didn't see the picture clearly. It turned him into something he wasn't. Maybe that was why Jonghyun never saw him. Or could never love him...

"Y-you were like this because you-- were jealous of...me?" Jonghyun mumbled.

Key nodded, speechless, and lifted his eyes to the man he loved.

"God... I thought you... Was like... You were... I was..."

It was the most adorable thing Key had ever seen. Big, strong Jonghyun was rubbing the back of his neck, looking everything in the room but only for a second. His cheeks were blushed.

"I... I thought you hated me", he managed to say.

"No! Never! I've always....loved you. Always! Since the beginning, since we first met, since the first time you spoke to me even though you never even see me and--"

"I never see you?! No! It's always you! You're always there... In my dreams, when I'm awake. I just don't know how to tell you how much I really care..."

//from me with love to reikyrou ~ thank's for the idea xoxo