Kevin's POV

Eli and I had always been together.  He was like an older brother to me.  He lived in the house next to mine and visited me often.  At first, I was a bit scared of him because he would get angry if I did something wrong, but then I soon learned that he was only worrying about me.  He would smile at me when our eyes met.  He would comfort me when I was sad.  He would yell at anyone who made me cry.  

When I was six, I fell off my bike and scraped my knee.  Even though it was a small scratch, I wailed like I was dying.  Then Eli came running out and carried me into my house.  He cleaned and put a band-aid over my cut, and then kissed it.  Then he hugged me and comforted me until I fell asleep.

We were thirteen when I kissed him.  I wanted to thank him for everything he did to me.  It was a short kiss, nothing special.  I just pressed my lips to his for a second or so, and then I pulled back and smiled.  He just stared at me and blushed.

We were fifteen when we shared our real first kiss.  He was the one who started the kiss first that time.  We had been talking, and it just...happened.  Eli was talking about how he'd never gotten his first kiss yet, and then I pointed out that time when I kissed him randomly.  Even though it was for a split second, I'd said, it was still a kiss.  He looked at me and then his cheeks became a bit pink.  He looked down at his hands and bit his lip, and I was wondering what was wrong with him.  Then he leaned towards me and kissed me.  It was slow, and much longer than before.  It wasn't desperate, but I could feel the emotions he was trying to convey into the kiss.  And I kissed him back, pouring all of my love into it.

When we were seventeen, Eli got himself a boyfriend named Kiseop.

At first I was furious.  He knew how I felt, and he knew how he felt about me.  If the kiss two years ago didn't mean anything, then what were the things I felt?  I wanted to cry.  I wanted to scream.  I wanted to something, everything, anything.  I just wanted Eli with me.  I wanted Eli by my side, and not with some other person.  

But as time went by, I found myself actually realizing why Eli loved Kiseop.  He was funny, weird but cute, handsome, smart, organized...everything that I wasn't.  And day by day, I found myself thinking that he was better for Eli than I ever could be.  But that didn't stop be from hating him and wanting Eli back - not as a lover, but I wanted him back as my friend.  Because ever since he started dating Kiseop, he'd started ignoring me - and that hurt even more than not being loved back.

One day, I went to his house.  Eli's mother answered, and she led me to his room.  He and Kiseop were busy doing something.  Something that I'd wanted to do to Eli before, but I was a bit too late.

"Dammit, why won't you look at me anymore?" I shouted into my pillow, tears of anger and sadness pouring down my face.  "I don't care if you love him more than me.  I don't care if we don't ever become anything more than friends!"  I bit my lip, trying to calm myself down.  "I just want you back by my side to comfort me...."  

I wanted Eli's strong arms around me, his lips on my forehead, soothing me until I went to sleep.  I wanted to see him smiling at me, not at him.  I missed him.  I missed him than I ever could have imagined.

I barely got any sleep.  I barely ate.  My grades suddenly dropped.  I stopped talking.  I stopped smiling.  No one noticed.

I was nothing.

But Kiseop seemed to notice my change in behavior.  He asked to talk to me one day after school, and I agreed.

"I'm sorry, Kevin," he said.

That wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"I-this is all my fault.  I'm the one at fault.  I shouldn't have taken Eli away from you...but I can't help it.  I love him."  Kiseop looked at me with large eyes.  He had tears in them.  Fake tears.

"Say that when you actually mean it," I grumbled and pushed past him to go home.

At home, I cried.  I cried and wailed like I that day eleven years ago when I fell off that bike.  Only this time, Eli wasn't there to comfort me.  He was somewhere with that bastard again, probably kissing or doing something else that I didn't dare think about.  I bit my lip and wished that Eli would come to me and hug me, to kiss away the pain.  He was the only one who could mend my wound - because he was the one who ripped apart my heart.

That was the same day I decided to end my misery.

"Remember, Eli," I whispered to myself, "no matter what you did to me, you'll always be there deep within my heart."  

Then I took a step into the air and let nature take its course.

*~*~*

A/N: Okay so this turned out a lot darker than I'd expected.... o_o I might write a sequel to it...I don't know.  This is a bit too dark for my liking >_< Depends on what the readers think, though, so please leave a comment whether you think I should make a sequel or not....

A/N 2: In the end, Kevin decides to commit suicide, yes.  But he doesn't die...yet.  Like, at this point, he's still falling.  I don't know ._.