Hello!

This is my very first fanfic so thank you very much for reading. I hope it's okay. I would appreciate any criticism ^-^

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It was late. Checking your watch, you turned off the TV and began to quietly pad to your bedroom in the dark, careful not to wake the other members in the dorm. The boys of U-Kiss were your best friends. You knew them before their debut and loved them all to pieces. You hardly got to see them anymore because of their work, but they always made time for you. You were their favourite dongsaeng after all, they were like family. You smiled to yourself, silently thanking God for creating these beautiful boys. They had already gone to sleep, exhausted after another tiring day of busy schedules. However they never complained, which astonished you, but reflected their hardworking and sweet natures.

Fumbling against the walls you stifled a laugh as you heard Dongho mumbling incoherently to himself about cake in his sleep. Peeking into in his room, you placed a hand over your mouth to muffle your giggles. You glanced at Kevin, who was snoring at a deafening volume on the floor, snuggling next to a pouting Eli who had his fingers planted in his ears, while Soohyun had managed to tangle himself in his blankets and was now dangerously close to falling off the bed. Grinning, you gently pulled the door closed and continued down the hallway.

A tiny sniffle came from the bathroom. You paused, waiting silently in the hallway wondering whether you had just imagined it. A few seconds of silence passed and you dismissed the idea entirely when you heard it again. Curious, you hesitantly knocked on the bathroom door. There was no answer.

Feeling brave, you spoke up. ‘Hello?’ You whispered. ‘Who’s in there?’

Silence.

You tried again. ‘Is everything okay?’

You were about to push the door when it slowly creaked open and Hoon emerged, blocking the doorway. He was simply dressed in light blue boxers and a tight while tank singlet, allowing the moonlight to filter through the blinds and catch on his defined body. He slumped a muscular arm over the frame and looked at you sadly through tear stained eyes.

Your breath hitched in your throat and you immediately pulled him into a hug, tightly wrapping your arms around his waist. Shocked by your sudden movement, he froze, before draping his arms gently around your middle and resting his chin lightly on your shoulder. You nestled your face into the warmth of his chest and began to draw soft circles on his back in an attempt to soothe him, however it didn’t work. He was silent for a moment before bursting into tears again. You held on as his entire body shook, your shirt soon drenched in his tears. What the hell was wrong with him? This wasn’t like your Hoonie, he never cried. Something must really be wrong. You caressed his back soothingly and softly whispered in his ear until soon his body began to relax in your arms.

Sensing this, you pulled back slightly, allowing space for you to see his face freely. ‘Hoonie, what the matter?’ Your voice was uncertain, afraid of the answer.

He took a deep breath to steady himself. ‘Don’t worry, it’s nothing.’ Hoon averted his eyes to the floor and tugged at your arms in an attempt to remove himself from your embrace. You just clutched on tighter. He was your friend and you weren’t letting him off that easy.

 ‘Bull Hoon, I know you better than anybody else. Look me straight in the eyes.’ Your tone surprised you. You had never spoken to Hoon like that. However, if he realised, he didn’t question it.

Hoon still refused to meet your eyes.  ‘It’s nothing’ he mumbled.

You cupped your hand lightly around his face and pulled it to face you.

Your voice was laced with concern. ‘It hurts me to see you like this Hoonie. Please?’ Your eyes were pleading and you knew that he couldn’t resist them. The corners of his lips curved into a small smile at your cute expression and he laughed, causing his torso to vibrate against yours. You loved his laugh; it was one of your favourite things about him. It was deep yet warm and friendly. But this laugh wasn’t the same. It stuck in his throat and his soft doe eyes didn’t have their usual mischievous sparkle. They remained sad. He stayed still for a moment, as if mentally debating whether or not to tell you. Hoon intently searched your eyes, before weakening.

He sighed deeply, exhaling the air upward into his fringe making it dance. ‘It’s silly’ he warned.

You shook your head. ‘I doubt it.’

Hoon pushed your head to his chest and rested his hand on top, preventing you from looking at him. You remained quiet, knowing better to fight his action and encouraged him with a small nod.

‘I’m.. I.. Umm… Well…  I’m in love.’

‘Huh?’ You snapped your head up in shock, forgetting that he held it forcefully in place. From his behaviour you had expected something worse, much much worse. But love? You had definitely not expected this. You shook your head in disbelief, squishing your nose and cocked an eyebrow questioningly. ‘And that’s bad?’

Hoon let go and covered his face with his hands. For some he was unable to look or even speak to you, so you continued. ‘Surely that’s a good thing!’

You glanced over and he looked as though he’d actually pass out. His legs grew weak, threatening to give under at any moment. He gripped the basin forcefully to support himself, turning his knuckles a ghastly white. His face drained of colour and his eyes fluttered closed. This was so scary. Before he could fall, you quickly grabbed Hoon’s shoulders and carefully sat him on the bathroom floor. He pulled you close, clinging to your shirt as tears began to spill, streaming down his cheeks.  However each time you wiped them away, more slid out to replace them.

This was so confusing. ‘Hoonie? Please tell me what’s going on? It’s okay, I’m here for you no matter what. Scout’s honour.’ He gave you a questioning look. To prove your sincerity, you gave him a tiny salute and reached down to grasp his hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

 ‘Promise you won’t hate me?’

You laughed at the ridiculousness of his question. ‘Hoonie, I could never hate you.’

When Hoon turned to look at you, his orbs were dark. You felt yourself wilt under the intensity of his gaze, but you saw them soften under the moonlight upon meeting your concerned ones. 

 ‘Promise me’ he whispered. But before you could, he stuck out his pinky finger, wiggling it childishly. He giggled quietly. You couldn’t help but beam. Even in his worst moments, Hoonie was still able to smile.

Grinning, you placed your pinky finger in his and shook. ‘You are such a child’ you replied, rolling your eyes melodramatically in attempt to lighten the situation.

He feigned shock, poking out his tongue and folding his arms against his chest stubbornly. ‘Am not!’ He protested, failing to supress a chuckle.

Laughing, you poked his cheek. ‘Babo.’

After a few moments, silence enveloped the room, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere. Afraid to press him, you waited patiently for him to speak up, playing with the hem of your shirt.

Soon enough Hoon shifted, wringing his hands nervously in his lap. When he spoke, his voice was so small, so meek, you could have sworn it was coming from a completely different person altogether.

‘I’m in love with another man.’

He sighed before adding, ‘I’m in love with Jaeseop.’