dreams
In Your Dreams
Byunghun felt your hands around his body. You hugged him from the back. You hugged him tightly, breathing in his scent. Byunghun smiled slightly. He held your hand and turned around. He was shock seeing your face. His smile was gone. You stared at him with your watered and red eyes. A tear fell down on your cheek.
“I’m sorry.”
He furrowed eyebrows in confusion. “Why did you say sorry?”
“I miss you, Byunghun.”
“Byunghun! Byunghun! Wake up!”
Byunghun opened his eyes. He looked up and saw Chanhee looking at him. “Hey, you slept during the lesson and now the class was over you still didn’t wake up.” Chanhee said.
“Really?” Byunghun wiped out sweats from his face. His face looked pale. He breathed in hard, trying to catch air. Oh Gosh. It seemed hard to breathe.
“Hey, you okay?” Chanhee raised an eyebrow. “Let’s go, we have to go to the next class.”
Byunghun nodded and got up. He sighed as he followed Chanhee going out the room.
--
Byunghun his apartment lamp. He just got home from his campus. He has many classes today, from the morning until this evening. He was really tired. He lied on the sofa. He looked at the ceiling and then started to remember what things he did all day, the lesson and else. He suddenly felt sleepy. He slowly closed his eyes and fell asleep.
“Have you eaten yet?” You asked him.
It was like a normal day. Byunghun and you met and went for a date. You both met after your classes were over. Byunghun and you were in different campus, so sometimes it was hard to meet each other. Byunghun looked at you. He ruffled your hair.
“No, I haven’t eaten yet. Why?” He asked.
“Since morning?”
“Yes.”
“What?” You were surprised about his answer.
“Hey, I just eat when I’m hungry. But for now I’m not.” He giggled.
“It’s not good, Byunghun! At least you need to eat something. I know you have classes all day long. You need more energy for studying, understand?” You patted his shoulder. Byunghun just smiled.
“Okay, okay.” He said.
You frowned. “Even you say ‘okay’, you still don’t follow my advice.” You said, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “You make me worried, Byunghun. You looked skinnier these days.”
Byunghun blinked. “Oh, really?”
“Yeah.” You nodded.
He messed up your hair. “You’re really worried about me?” A huge smile formed on his face.
“Yah! Stop it!” You pushed away his hand from your head. You frowned and then looked down at your watch. “It’s 6 pm already. Let’s have a dinner!”
Byunghun suddenly opened his eyes. He breathed in heavily. His face was full of sweats. His heart beat faster and faster. His tongue was dry, he even couldn’t say a word. He was too shock. He glanced to the wall and saw the clock. It was already 6 pm. His eyes widened in horror. He was shivered as his stomach grumbled. It was right. He didn’t eat anything since morning. He went to campus and forgot about eating, just focus to the lessons.
He sighed and hid his face with his palms. “Oh my God..”
--
At first Byunghun couldn’t understand why you came to his dreams. He thought about it deeply. It could say that he has forgotten about you. Actually he tried to forget you. But, since you came to his dreams, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. You just came to his dream all nights along the week. He tried to focus on studying, but actually his mind was full of you. It was frustrating and it made him happy at the same time. At least he still could see you.
Seeing you always made him felt better.
Another day he got in the bus. He took a seat behind and near the window. He looked out the window. The sun was about to set. There was no day he spent except in campus. He spent his day in campus until this time in the evening. He was tired though. He closed his eyes.
He was in the same bus, sitting on the same seat. He turned around and saw you sitting next to him. You smiled at him. He instantly smiled and he didn’t feel tired anymore.
“Are you tired?” You asked him.
He nodded. “Yeah. I’m really tired.”
“Here.” You patted your shoulder. He smiled happily. He then rested his head on your shoulder and he held your hand. You both intertwined your hands together. He was so happy having you by his side. There was nothing he should be worried about when he was near you. You made him happy living in this world. You made his world brighter.
“Don’t leave me, okay?” he said while he closed his eyes. “Just stay here with me.” He heard you chuckling.
“I won’t leave you, Byunghun.” You said.
Those five words, just five words, made him glad and felt calm.
--
As often as you came to his dreams, Byunghun often missed the morning classes. He often overslept. It was just because he ate some pills before sleep. Actually the pills are for they which have insomnia. Those pills made him slept longer. He just wanted to see you for a long time. And it was right. When he ate the pills and could sleep longer than he usually did, he could meet you and you both could spend your time. Byunghun and you went to many places, especially to your favorite spot in the city. You two had having fun. Byunghun was so happy.
Of course this was not good. Because of oversleep, he missed classes, missed some presentations, and tasks. But he seemed didn’t care about it.
“Yah, Byunghun. What the heck happened to you? Why are you like this? You never miss morning classes before.” Chanhee said when they were about to go to the cafeteria.
Byunghun ran a hand through his hair and smiled nervously. “Nothing happened.”
Chanhee furrowed eyebrows in confusion. “It was not like you, Byunghun. I know you. We’re friends since we were 5. You’re never late come to school. You’re a diligent guy who loves to study. This is not like you.”
Byunghun just looked elsewhere. He didn’t tell his best friend about meeting you. It seemed too complicated if he told Chanhee. But without Byunghun knowing, Chanhee already knew about it.
“You meet someone? Dating?”
Byunghun’s eyes widened. Chanhee looked at him expressionless, seemed it was like he has imagined.
“You’re dating again? It had been 2 years since you lost your girlfriend.”
Chanhee’s words made Byunghun coming back to reality. Yes, Byunghun has lost you 2 years ago. You have died in a traffic accident. You both were in a date and went by bus. After a half hour trip, there were fog came from the back of the bus. The bus then was ignited by fire in some minutes. Everyone was panicked, not except the driver. He was panicked and he couldn’t control the bus. Byunghun and you tried to escape, but it wasn’t easy. The bus was stopped suddenly, everyone rushed out from the fired bus. You held Byunghun’s hand but you were lost from his grip. Byunghun tried to hold you but some people bumped onto him and he couldn’t reach you. Everyone already got out from the bus and then the bus was exploded. Many people not except Byunghun flung away. His body dashed against the hard road.
For some minutes he could not move his body. It was like his body had been numb. He tried to open his eyes. After some blinks he could get better vision. It felt so hot, the road he lying on, also the air around him. It was also hard to him to breathe. He got dizzy. Slowly he tried to move his body, hands, legs, and then he tried to get up. He found his body weak. He tried to get up and he couldn’t help but fall down. He flinched. While he tried to get up again, he scanned over his surroundings.
Other people, bus passengers, did get many injuries as well. Most of them cried while seeing the bus. That was so scary to see the fire burned out the bus. With seeing the bus that was burned out, in fear, Byunghun looked for you. He walked with his trembling legs, scanning over people faces. And right then he saw some people gathered and let out some panicked words. It was like they gathered someone. He walked toward the people. And, he found you.
You were lying there unconscious, with blood covered your face.
Byunghun found his legs weaker even more. He walked toward you, bent down. He cried hard like he never did in his life before.
--
“Why do you look so sad, Byunghun?”
Byunghun looked up and saw your worried face. He smiled slightly and shook his head. “Do I?”
You sighed. “What happened? You always make me worried.”
And this time he let out a heavy sigh. “Do I always make you worried?”
You both were in one of your favorite place, his apartment rooftop. There was a long swing and you two sat on it, waiting the sun to set. You always spent time there talking and joking around, while forwarding and backward the swing itself, till the sun set and then you went down stairs to grab some food and came back again. It was always nice though, to have you with him, spending many times together. He never forgot every single day he had spent with you. He hoped you two would be together for his entire life. But it was just his wish, wasn’t it?
“Yeah, you always make me worried.” You replied with a serious expression on your face. Seconds later you laughed. “Now tell me, what happened?”
Byunghun looked at your face, looked in your black eyes. He did miss those eyes of yours. But seeing those eyes just made him losing his words. He looked away after coughed. You looked confused.
“Nothing happened. Don’t worry.” He said.
“Don’t tell me you have gotten E mark for your assignment.” You joked around.
“Yah, it will never happen.” He couldn’t help but laugh hearing your joke. He ruffled your hair lovingly, like he always did. He then put a hand around your shoulder. Still laughing, you rested your head on his chest. You both stopped laughing and then silence for some minutes.
“Don’t you want to say something?” you said suddenly. He was bit surprised. You seemed like knew he was thinking about something.
He played some of your hair. He wanted to say something, but he found it difficult to say to you. After thinking for more than a minute, he said. “I always make you worried, is it right?”
You just nodded. “So?”
“Why do you always worry?”
“Because you seem like not to care with yourself.”
He blinked. “Really?”
You chuckled. “You even don’t realize it. Yah listen, there are many things that make me worried. You never eat on time. Once you eat, you don’t eat much and you don’t eat healthy food. You rarely drink water yet soda. You never wear thick clothes when you go out at night, and sometimes you always look sad, like this.” he heard you laughing. “Actually I just want you to stay healthy and happy.”
He was frozen at your words.
“When will you stop worrying about me?”
“Oh, I don’t know the answer.” You answered playfully. “I’ve planned to worry about you in my whole life.” You laughed.
You were joking, but he took your words seriously. He didn’t laugh nor say something. He took a deep breathe.
“Can you stop worrying about me? I’m okay.”
“Promise me you will always be okay, and I will stop worrying about you.”
Byunghun opened his eyes. He panted and wiped away sweats from his face. Slowly tears fell down on his cheeks. It was 4 in the morning and all he heard in his flat was him sobbing.
--
“It had been a while I didn’t visit you here.” He bent down and put a bouquet in front of your grave. “What can I say? I just try to forget you but I know I can’t.” he laughed nervously. He straightened his body. “Stupid, huh? I stopped visiting you here, but actually I missed you a lot.” he looked at your photo on the grave and his eyes got watered.
“You came to my dream these weeks. I felt so happy.” he said, a smile curled on his lips. But it looked weak. “We could spend our time together, going to our favorite places like we usually did. Did you know I really miss that time? When we finally had a free time, we decided to go on a date. You always told me many beautiful places in this city, and then we went there after deciding which place we would visit first. You know, I never forget it. Memories in my head, they’re like a movie, just in my head, a movie I always watch when I miss you.”
Now his eyes were full of tears. He bit his bottom lip. “Can you come back here? I really miss you. I was happy to see you in my dreams, but when I couldn’t find you after I woke up, that hurt me so much.”
“You know, I wish I never wake up.” He said, a tear rolled down on his cheek. “If I can see you forever in my dreams, I wish I never wake up. If I wake up, I want to have you here with me. You know I always want to be with you, right?” he couldn’t hold his tears.
“I know you always worry about me. But, no need to worry anymore. I promise you I’ll be always okay.” He said. “I promise I’ll eat properly. I’ll be always healthy and happy, like you want me to. I promise.” He formed a weak smile. “You heard that, right? I promise I won’t make you worried about me anymore. I’ll be okay.”
Fin
10월 24일 , July 19th 2012
To : scenariosforyou. Thank you.
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