Caution: /. 

Goal: ACTUALLY FINISH this one. "^_^

*Loosely inspired by "Absolute Boyfriend"*

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"All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name."
Andre Breton

(Tao's favorite quote)

"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge."
Thomas Carlyle

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Introduction: (Tao's POV) 

"You know how you need a special  flower in your life; the one that will continue to make you flutter and jump with joy long after you've known that person?" Tao spoke as he neared his mother's graveyard for the final time.

His hands were trembling and he was trying his best to fight back the tears that would swallow his being, whole, leaving him to feel the bitter darkness of a world far past his years. A world full of fighting back his sadness, his darkness and the tearing emotions of a lost and lonely child without his mother.

He shouldn't have been experiencing such sadness at his age..and yet there he was saying his wishes goodbye to his mother, for the final time... alone. 

"Yeah. Just like you found dad, I want to find someone, too. Someone who can hold me in their arms. Someone who can be there when I cry or when I'm happy. Someone who loves me, exactly for me and who I am. Not because I'm rich or because I'm poor. Not because I have talent or can't make it through life without crying. A smile for this ugly face of mine, right mother?"

A silence spreads across the fresh dewed land, a thunderstorm having fed the Earth late last night as Tao was driving here.
Tao takes a moment to look out over the barren land. No one. No other tomb lays in this part of the lands' area. As if his mother was fated to die alone... What a shallow world, he thinks. 

Tao regains his confidence to speak as he continues saying, "Either way maybe it's just destined for me to be alone forever. I mean I could always talk to the wall and eat in front of the bed pertending it were real.. or.." Tao stops in front of his mother's graveyard, dropping to his knees. He inhales sharply the sweet smell of flowers, waxed concrete and fresh dirt as he bows his head low, tricklets of tears streaming his face and lining his mother's floor-board part of the headstone. 

Drip, drop, drip, drop. The sound is too loud in Tao's mind as he hears each tear fall to the floor. 
The small sounds were multipled ten fold, too far by the aching in Tao's fragile heart. 

"You know. Sadness could help me in becoming what I want to be. I mean some company might take pity in my past and-and"

Tao can't control his tears as they leak out at a force powerful and unstoppable. Tao only leans further into his mother's headstone, gently grabbing it from the back before he snakes his hands back around to the front. He embraces it as if it were his own once, healthy and bright mother. 

The words, 'nothing lasts forever', sound through Tao's head, echoing as they make their rounds to the back of his head and back into his brain's cellular nerves. He recalls the jubilant memories he spent with his mother and how no matter what she was always there to comfort him... and he couldn't even return the favor. 

"Mother." I know I couldn't even return the damn favor.. -he tugs and pulls on his hair with his left hand, crying out in agony but not stopping- of helping you. I couldn't even protect...you!" The word you rolls of his tongue with a deminishing anger. 

"Life is but a mystery," the voice of his mother plays through his head, "My son. you must only try and live out your life for who you are and how you want to. You can't evade facts that are suppossed to happen. It's impossible." 

"No mother. Truthfully I'm not cut out to be a famous idol.. but I want to. My hearts desire calls out for it. And that's all I know to strive to succeed. I'll come back, mom, when I'm worthy enough to see you again. I don't deserve to be in your majestic presence." 

Tao says as he stands to look down at his mother's area of land, where beneath lays the remaining carcass of her once lively body.  

Tears don't stop their natural feel of pouring out when one feels an extremity of depression or sadness. very time he wipes away at his tears with his jackets sleave, they only reappear. He stuffs his hands into his pants back pockets and pulls out the only flowers he could ever afford with his budget. 

Some leaves are torn and others are burned from the suns rays. The flowers petals are starting to wilt, but nonetheless it's something compared to nothing. 

Tao gently lays them in front of the headstone, as he rubs his fingers one last time over the marble stone. 
 

"I love you mother." are his final words as he walks away, hands tucked into his jackets' front pockets, hoodie over his head and head dropped low, his eyes subtly wandering over the solied dirt from last nights' turmoil of water. 

Not once does he turn his head around.

Too much can sometimes rely in simplcitiy. And just being there, in the wake of his mother's decaying body and presence through spirit was enough to send Tao over the edge.

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The memory of his mothers' kindness and her cruel death would be two contradicting issues, playing his mind and soul. 
They would battle with each other over who should dominate inside Tao's head.. for as long as his life enjoys it's time on this world.  

Or at least...

Until he meets Kris.