It’s quiet in the home of Block B, everyone is asleep.  The lights are off.  Bags and clothes are all over the place.  The stench from all their dirty clothes, and sweat filled the rooms.  What would you expect from seven boys living in the same apartment...

All are sleeping in their beds; dreaming sweet dreams, except for B-bomb.  He lies awake, staring at the ceiling.  At times like this he wished he had someone to talk to.  Even though he was always surrounded by people, he felt alone.

He rolled over to see Zico hugging his pillow and snoring loudly.  He looked up to see Jaehyo, who was mumbling something in his sleep.  These guys were always like this.  He didn’t want to talk to them; they had no mutual interests.  He felt disappointed, so he rolled back to his position to look at the ceiling.

He stared at the ceiling, so simple, normal, and boring.  Minhyuk felt as though he was that ceiling, normal and perhaps boring.  He didn’t belong here, with these loud mouths.  He was everything opposite of them.  He thought of himself as quiet, more reserved; while the other members are always loud and speak their minds whether good or bad.  He felt so distant from them; he always had and always will.

Minhyuk let his mind wander and before he knew it, he was asleep.

~~~

“Minhyuk…  Minhyuk… MINHYUK!”  Zico yelled at him, “Wake up, man.”

B-bomb sat up and stretched his arms before getting out of bed.  He quickly changed out of his pajamas and put on a simple t-shirt and jeans.  He went to the bathroom to get ready and was out in ten minutes.  He was fast because he didn’t have to take a shower today.  He joined the other members who were all eating breakfast already, without him.

*Yawn* Minhyuk sat down to eat some cereal.

Everyone else continued to eat.

Minhyuk was in deep thought and didn’t say anything during breakfast.  He thought he was always the last to do everything, the last to get up, the last to get ready, and the last to finish eating.  He felt like they never waited for him, he would never get a chance to talk if he wasn’t singled out.

“Cho PD is giving us a day off soon, what are you going to do?”  Zico asked everyone.

“I’m going to see my family,” Taeil said smiling.  He was always happy to see his family.

“Me too!”  U-Kwon said smiling, “…I’m going to practice my guitar.”

“Mmm, I’m probably going to go home too,” Jaehyo said.

“Yeah, I will too,” Kyung said agreeing with everyone.

“I’m going to the agency, to work on some unfinished tracks,” Zico stated.  It was almost expectant of him, he almost never went home.  He was a busy man, that Jiho, always worked himself to the bone.

They all agreed and continued to eat.

“What about you, Minhyuk?” U-Kwon asked him.

When he heard his name, it broke his train of thought, “…Huh?”  He responded.

“What are you going to do on your day off?” U-Kwon said putting an arm around him.

“…Hmm probably going to go home,” Minhyuk said and continued eating, silently.

~~~

 After breakfast they left to go to the practice room.

Once there, everybody did their own thing.  Zico worked on lyrics with Kyung, P.O helped on the side but mostly fooled around.  Jaehyo and Taeil practiced singing together and talked while U-Kwon and B-bomb did warm up exercises waiting for the instructor to come.

Minhyuk watches himself stretch and dance in the mirror, he likes to see what he’s doing.  He didn’t pay much attention to the others until they rehearsed together.

“Alright, Alright, here’s the new game plan…” Zico said as they all gathered around.

They were planning on making a comeback; this time they were going to work harder.  B-bomb knew that it meant practicing more, meaning more time spent with them.  He just wanted to dance.

For the other dancer of the group, U-Kwon didn’t mind spending time with the other members because he got along with everyone.  U-kwon was the only one B-bomb seemed to coerce with.  They had similar interest, dancing was their main topic they talked about.  Other than that, he pretty much tolerated everyone else.

“Everyone, let’s do this!” Zico said and everyone was ready to do extensive practicing.

~~~

After the practice, the day was practically over.  Block B decided to get Chinese take-out and head home.  When they arrive home, they all drop their bags down on the floor and sat down at the table.

“Man, I’m starving!”  Kyung said grabbing some rice.

They all scramble for food, except for Bbomb.  He wasn't  a wild animal, he would wait patiently till every settled down then he would eat.  By the time everybody calms down, there is hardly anything left.  He sighs and grabs what he can get.  Living on a low income plan really takes a toll on all of us, he thought.  Food is food and Bbomb wasn’t complaining, he was too hungry to think.

When all of them got done, they basically laid around till it became too late.

Bbomb didn’t really feel too excited about lounging around, even after sweating like crazy from practice.

“I’m going for a walk, I’ll be right back,” Bbomb said as he put on a sweater and went out the door.

“Alright,” Zico says while his eyes were still fixated on the book he was reading.

~~~

As Minhyuk walked silently into the night,

He wondered,

did he make the right choice by joining Block B?

He should have taken the offer to be an actor instead… Sigh

He stopped at the edge of the river and sat on the hill leading to the dark water.  He stared out at the flowing water; the light was reflected and danced along the surface.  No vehicles passing, nobody around to cloud his thoughts.  It’s so peaceful here, he thought.

Minhyuk closed his eyes and listened to the water flowing past him.  He fell into a trance and his thoughts circled.  He wished he was with his old friends, they would want to talk to him, and would actually pay attention to him.  Maybe he just wanted to get away from Block B for a while.  That would be great, he thought.

Voices of the past ran through his mind, whispers and conversations overheard;

“You’re so quiet and shy”    “He’s so simple”     “Why is he so normal compared to the other members?”     “You’re boring!”     "You're definitely the normal one"

He opened his eyes to stop these voices in his head.  He looked out onto the water, his felt like he had fallen into despair.  He was always being compared to the other members of Block B, he didn’t like it.  Why did he have to act like some monkey to get noticed?  Girls seemed to eat that up… *Sigh*

Maybe he should just leave… If he did… Would anyone notice?  Would anyone care?

He looked at his phone, it was one in the morning.  .  I have to go to sleep.  He put his phone in his pocket and headed home.

                Home, is that what you would call it?...

~~~

Days have gone by and Bbomb slowly got worse.  Always disappearing, going off by himself, and answered with short sentences when necessary.  He kept to himself and spent most of the time at the river or in his room.  The other members caught on and began to worry.  Zico, however, didn’t have to time to bother Bbomb because he had enough business to take care of as it was.  The other members were too scared half the time to say anything.  Even the fans noticed something was wrong from the fancams.

“Bbomb’s always quiet,” P.O said trying to sound like nothing was wrong.

“Not like this, someone’s got to say something to him,” Kyung said, he was worried.

“But… he seems scary like this, what if he tries to pull a knife or something?” Jaehyo said.

“He’s not going to do that.  We’re talking about Bbomb, he wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Taeil said.

“If anything, he might pull that knife on himself if we don’t talk to him,” Kyung said.

“What if he already has?” U-kwon said.  Everybody stared at him.  They hadn’t thought about that…

~~~

They all tried really hard to make Bbomb talk about it but nothing helped, it only made Bbomb think of them as annoying.  He only grew distant from them.  He called to take some time off to think things through, about quitting Block B.  The press called it ‘family time get away’.

~~~

Bbomb was at home now, staying in his room most of the time, lying on his bed.  It had been a full week since he seen any of the members from Block B.  He was thinking about whether or not he should stay, weighing out the advantages and disadvantages of every situation he thought of.  Even though those haunting voices came back; “You’re so simple, normal, and boring, why can’t you be like the other members?  Why are you even in Block B?  You don’t deserve to be there… You're Useless!”

The two week vacation didn’t really help; he still couldn’t find an answer.  But time was up and he was forced to go back by their manager.  And things continued as they were before, Minhyuk separated himself from the others in videos and pictures.  He didn’t smile either.

“Like he smiled anyway…” P.O stated sarcastically.

“He’s just the type of person that you have to make him laugh in order to get a smile out of him,” U-Kwon said.

~~~

Finally Zico got fed up; he heard rumors about Bbomb leaving everywhere, even the BBC’s suspected something.

Zico called for a group meeting at the home base.  It was an intervention for Bbomb.

Minhyuk was the last one to enter the room.  They were all sitting down on the couches in the living space, staring at him with concern in their eyes.

“Ah Minhyuk, come take a seat,” Zico said in his nice voice.

“What is this?”  Bbomb said in confusion.

“We want to help you, Minhyukkie~” Kyung said.

“I don’t need help!  I don’t need anyone’s help! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!”  Bbomb yelled before he turned around and headed towards the door.  He ran out the door and slammed it behind him.  They all looked at each other in confusion.

“…That went well,” P.O said sarcastically.

~~~

Minhyuk trudged through the mud; he put his hood up then shoved his hands in his pockets to conserve heat.  He regretted leaving the house, he had forgotten that it was raining and it was cold even for summer twilight.

Before he realized where he was, he automatically went to the one place he felt peace; by the river.

He sat down and hugged his legs; he stared silently at the cold flowing river that was so hypnotizing.

What if he were to breathe underwater, let all of his worries flow along with the river…  Let them go, let himself go, and leave everyone behind.

                Swim, swim, swim away…

                It would all go away…

                He walked into the water, closed his eyes, and let the water take him into its dark hands…

“Hey Minhyuk, I finally found you… Are you listening to me?”

Minhyuk looked up from his lap to find U-Kwon sitting next to him looking forward.  U-Kwon was holding an umbrella over both of them.  Did he just dream of suicide?

U-Kwon didn’t wait for him to respond, he continued, looking forward not even glancing at Minhyuk once.

“You always think you have it bad, what about everybody else?  …What about me?  You don’t know what I had to go through to get here!”  U-Kwon sounded like he was crying.  “You’re so inconsiderate; do you know that I always worry about you?”

U-Kwon finally turned to face Minhyuk.  His face was tear-stained, eyes puffy and red from crying.

“…What did you say?”  Minhyuk wasn’t sure if he heard the last sentence correctly.

U-Kwon stopped crying, his tone changed, it was angry now.  “You heard me, you never take in to account about our feelings…  Of course we’re loud and brutally honest because we finally get to be like that.  We’ve all worked so hard to get our spots in the group and it finally paid off.”

It never occurred to Minhyuk that every member in Block B also had their own hardships that they overcame to get where they are now.

U-Kwon looked away again, so did Minhyuk and there was silence between the two.  Nothing but the river moving along was making noise.

U-Kwon finally said in a soft tone, “I know things have been hard for you… they’ve been hard for all of us.”

Minhyuk didn’t respond, he wanted to listen to what U-Kwon had to say.  He turned to see a solemn U-Kwon, nobody hardly ever seen U-Kwon this way.

“But that’s what binds us together,” U-Kwon said as he turned to look Minhyuk in the eyes, “Our struggles, our hardships…  They’re what brought us here; they made us who we are today.”  He grabbed Minhyuk’s hand.

“If you want… you can talk to me?”  U-Kwon sounded so sheepish, he was only like this to girls he thought were cute.  He smiled, Minhyuk could feel himself being warmed by his smile.

More silence, Minhyuk didn’t know what to say, what could he say?

“You don’t have to… I’m not forcing you to talk to me...”  He continued, “It’s just, when one member is depressed then all the members become depressed as well, we are, after all, a family.  We can tell if something’s wrong.”

Minhyuk still didn't respond, U-Kwon sounded like he was talking to himself.

“If you don’t want me here with you then I’ll leave, okay?”  U-Kwon smiled.  He started to get up, and turned around to leave when he felt a tug on his pant leg.  It was Minhyuk.

“Please…”  Minhyuk said, “Please, don’t leave me.”  He sounded so desperate but he didn’t care, someone wanted to talk to him, somebody cared for him.  Looking back, it was always U-Kwon worrying about him.  He wasn’t about to lose him now.

U-Kwon nodded in silence and sat back down beside him.

Minhyuk laid his head on U-Kwon’s shoulder.  U-Kwon smiled to himself.

It was quiet, calming to hear the river flowing and the rain falling from the sky.

“Thank You,” Minhyuk finally said still relying on U-Kwon’s shoulder.

“Are you gonna be alright now?  U-Kwon asked.

“…I’m fine, if you’re here with me…”  Minhyuk said.

U-Kwon laughed.  He took Minhyuk’s hand in his and said,

                                                                                                                “…I’ll always be by your side.”