Zhang Yixing, transfer student, also known as Lay, the most adored boy on campus.

He’s the innocent one, the one girls fawn over and want to take care of, the caring sweetheart who couldn’t hurt a fly. His face was darn beautiful and he knew it. He used that damn dimple of his to get what he wanted, he used his charming smile and gentle features to lure us females into thinking he couldn’t hurt anyone. Hell, even the boys fell for him. 

I’ve never liked innocent boys. I hated boys that needed to be taken care of. I disliked the boys who were too weak to fight back. So why on earth was I attracted to a man like Zhang Yixing?

I am not a saint. I never have been and I never will be. I’m the trouble maker, the bad kid, misfit, unwanted child, ‘Satanic Seulmi’. I’m the boxer who ruins her lungs with cigarette after cigarette, the athlete who uses her superior body build for bad things like jumping the school fence and running away from cops. I’m the one who corrupts others, the one who the ‘innocent kids’ are being protected from. So why did Yixing approach me first?

“Seulmi?” A voice called hesitantly. I cursed and shoved the of my cigarette on the ground next to me. Being caught off guard caused me to choke on the cigarette and have a coughing fit. 

“What the hell?” I choked out, glaring at the boy in front of me. His pretty eyes glinted with concealed mischief. “Hello, Seulmi.”

“What do you want?” I sighed, replacing the cigarette that he had caused me to waste because I thought he was a teacher. He snatched the drug from my lips and snapped it in half.

“What the are you doing?” I snarled. “Look, kid, just cause all the other girls fawn over you and just because you’re pretty, does not mean I wont sock you in the face.”

“Kid?” He smiled. “I’m older than you, Seulmi. And you think I’m pretty? Aw.”

I brushed off his question and repeated mine, leaning against the wall. “What do you want?”

“Smoking is bad for you.” He said simply. 

I stared incredulously at him. “Are you ing serious? Did you really just come and disturb me to tell me that smoking is bad?” 

“Cursing isn’t lady like.” 

“I don’t care.” I sneered.

“Girls shouldn’t be so hostile.”

“My God—”

“Don’t use the Lords name in vai—”

I slammed the side of my fist into the wall, leaning over him. To my surprise, he didn’t flinch. He just looked at me with a small smile. “Are you hitting on me?”

“What the …” I let out a disbelieving breathy laugh. “You’re really something, Lay.”

He really was something. Something else, something I never would have expected. He had secrets hidden in that dimple of his. He had experience behind those sparkling bambi eyes. He wasn’t just the annoying kid I would see around school anymore.

I learned not to smoke around Lay anymore, He would just snap my cigarette despite my constant threats that I would decapitate him and murder everyone he loved. 

“Will you teach me to box?” He asked one day after his daily ritual of annoying me.

“Why?” I scoffed. “Your noona’s will protect you.”

“Yeah, but I need to protect someone else.” He shrugged, looking at the ground that was littered with my cigarette butts.

“Aw, Unicorn has a crush~ How cute.” I teased, getting up. He grinned and followed me to my house. I don’t know why I let him in considering I hated when anyone went in my house. 

“Your parents aren’t home?” He asked, looking at the pictures on the wall.

“Dead.” I replied shortly, grabbing his hand and leading him into the garage. “Now no one can hear your screams when I murder you.” 

Again, he didn’t even bat an eye. He just bared his glorious dimple and walked over to my punching bag, giving it a light hit. 

It turns out the bastard lied to me and he actually knew how to box because he learned back in China. He kept insisting that I help him with his form, that I improve his stamina, but he was already perfect at it. I helped him anyway just because he would flash me that dimple over and over again until I caved. He used his lessons to save me from bad guys, even though I didn’t need help. He wanted to ‘try being the protector for once.’ I never thought he would be training to protect me.

We walked down the street towards my house for another boxing session, the cold air causing our breaths to come out as fog. I hadn’t smoked a cigarette in over a month because Lay was always there, no matter how many times I told him to off. 

“I’m cold.” Lay complained. 

“You should’ve brought a thicker jacket, . It’s winter.” I rolled my eyes.

“Let me wear yours.” He frowned. I laughed at him and shook my head. “Isn’t the guy supposed to be the one who gives the jacket?”

“But if I did, I would be cold.” He dead panned. “Besides, you’re like a bear. A scary bear with lots of fur.” 

“Are you calling me fat?” I fake gasped. He flashed his dimple again at me.

A man suddenly grabbed my wrist and yanked me back, his eyes blood shot and yellowing. “Seulmi~” He cooed.

“ off, Lee.” I scoffed, kicking him away. He was just another boy who thought that he had a chance with me because I had talked with him once. Another wanna-be badass. 

“Why you hanging out with a pansy like him?” Lee Jonghun laughed crudely, pulling me to him. “Come to daddy.” 

“That is disgusting.” I spat, shoving him away. 

“Why? Can’t I be your daddy for a night? I heard your dad ed you a few times before dying, can I be his replacement?” He laughed drunkenly.

I stiffened, unable to speak because of the shock. My fists shook with anger but before I could punch his face in, Lay stepped in and kicked him in the ribs. He lifted Lee’s body by his collar and punched his face. He leaned in dangerously close. “I am not a pansy. And I’m more of a man than you’ll ever be. Learn how to treat a girl right before you try and get in her pants. Have some class, you disgusting filth.” 

We walked home in silence. When we got to the garage I let out a strangled laugh. “Disgusting filth? Innocent Yixing, even when you’re angry you use such dignified words…”

Lay turned to me and pushed me against the walls. His dimple wasn’t there, his eyes weren’t smiling. I furrowed my eyebrows. “What?” I asked, averting my gaze.

“It’s okay to cry.” He said gently. He let go of my wrist and cradled my face. “Even the strong break down at some point.” 

I pushed him away and quickly wiped away the tear that managed to slip through. “Shut up, Yixing.” 

No matter how many times I yelled at him, insulted him, told him to leave me alone, he would remain by my side. I had gotten used to his presence. He was part of my every day life. I would wake up to him screaming outside of my house, go to school  with him and spend my lunch breaks trying to avoid him to no avail. After school we would box, he was just always there. He was part of me.

“You should smile more, Seulmi.” He commented as I sat behind the school to eat my sandwich. I gave him half, as I did every day. 

I frowned. “No.” 

“C’mon Seulmi, do it.” He urged, “Smile~” He flashed me his dimple as if he was trying to teach me. 

“I know how to smile, Yixing.” I rolled my eyes.

“Than show me.” He grinned, poking my sides. I let out a yelp and he froze. I cursed myself and tried to walk away but he pulled me back down.

“You’re ticklish.” He said. I glared at him. “No.”

“Seulmi is ticklish!” He grinned. He always did that. Whenever he would learn something new about me, he would be extremely and unnecessarily happy. 

He poked my side again and I fought to keep still. And again. And again. A laugh broke from my throat and I tried to escape but he pinned me down. “Seulmi~” He sang, a smile playing on his face. I recognized the familiar mischief in his eyes and my own eyes widened. 

“Don’t you dare.” I warned, trying to make my eyes as scary as possible. I should have known it wouldn’t work. He grabbed my sides and began to tickle me, straddling my hips so I couldn’t escape. He tickled my neck and sides and stomach and I was gasping for air.

“Stop!” I squealed in between fits of laughter. He was relentless in his attacks. After almost dying of lack of oxygen, I found the strength to flip him over, switching our positions.

After our laughter died down, I met eyes with him. We held each others gaze and no matter how much I wanted to look away, he wouldn’t let me.

A few minutes went by and he finally smiled. “So, are you going to get off me any time soon?”

I snapped back into reality and scrambled off him in embarrassment, my face flaming. 

Yixing was a tease. He would give thoughtless comments and compliments, he would say something completely flattering out of no where, he would flash that dimple of his at me. He would leave me flustered and he would laugh as if it was the funniest thing in the world. We both wanted each other, but we were hesitant to make the first move. We didn’t want to break such a special friendship. Over the years I had learned he also had no family and that’s why he moved to Korea. We only had each other and a few special moments and a careless beating heart was not worth the risk of losing what we had. 

It was my turn to go shopping. Since Yixing stayed over so much, we decided to just live together to make things easier. I guess you can say we were 99% more than friends and 1% less than lovers. 

I sighed as I trudged my way up the hill with the bags of groceries in tow. “The bastard could have offered to help.”

I struggled to unlock the door, balancing the bags in my arms and kicked it open. “Yah, Zhang Yixing! Get your over here and help me with the groceries!”

I didn’t get a reply so I assumed he was sleeping. “Lazy .” I muttered. I stepped into the kitchen and froze the bags almost dropping from my hands.

Yixing stood there in a black and white tux and a red silk bow tie. His hair was slicked back and he looked beyond handsome. He had a single red rose in his hands and he was staring at it intensley.

I put the bags on the counter and began putting the groceries. “Why’re you so dressed up?” 

“Two years.” He spoke. I popped my head out of the fridge and looked at him. “What?”

“Two years since we met.” He said. “Two years with you, and I know this isn’t really the most romantic way to put it, but Kim Seulmi, will you be my girlfriend?”

He stuck out the flower and bowed, his eyes shut tightly. I laughed a little and he peeked up at me, his dimple making its long awaited appearance.

“Why’d you wait so long?” I laughed, pulling him to me. “Of course I will.” 

He grinned and pulled my waist so we were pressed together. He lowered his head and stopped centimeters from my lips. “Thank you for such a great time, Seulmi.” And with that, he pressed his lips against mine in our first sweet kiss.

We still acted the same, thankfully. We were still best friends, we still had our arguments, we still joked around with each other. Everything was exactly the same except for the random kisses, the warm hugs and the comforting thought that we belonged to each other. The only bad thing is that we fought more often.

I waved goodbye to my coworker and gave him a hug goodbye. I checked the time and cursed. It was already 3 hours past the time I got off work. 

I rushed home and unlocked the door to find Yixing waiting.

“Where were you?” He asked.

“I’m sorry, I got caught up at work—”

“Today was a special day, Seulmi. I specifically asked you not to be late.” He said. I could tell he was angry.

“I’m sorry, okay?” I could feel my temper rising. “I have a job, I have priorities, there were things I needed to do, why is that so bad?”

He moved away from the counter revealing the flowers and cake sitting there. I gaped. “Oh my god… Yixing I’m sorry…”

“It’s our anniversary, Seulmi.” He growled. “How could you forget?”

Again, my temper spiked. “Does it matter?”

“Does it matter?!” He snapped. “Really? Is that all I mean to you?” 

“It was an honest mistake!” 

“It’s obvious I’m the only one who cares about our relationship! Is it really that hard to remember a single date?!” 

“I told you I was caught up at work, okay?” I sneered.

“Doing what?” He scoffed. “Or doing who, should I ask.”

My mouth fell open and guilt immediately flashed in his eyes. “Are you accusing me of cheating on you?” I asked with a broken whisper. 

“I’m sorry.” He apologized. I shook my head and stormed off to the garage. I wrapped my hands and changed into my boxing shorts and sports bra. 

Yixing came down moments later, his eyes still swimming with regret and apologies. “Seulmi, baby, I’m sorry.”

I shook my head and continued to his the bag. “Go away.”

“I’m so so sorry.” He tried again. 

“Go away, Yixing.” I repeated. It was silent and I assumed he left. I placed my forhead against the bag and held it tightly, breathing hard. “Bastard. I would never cheat on you.”

“I know.” He said. I spun around to find him in the exact same spot.

I glared at him and threw my glove at him. “I told you to leave.”

“I wont.” He grabbed my waist but I shoved him off. “Leave.”

“No.” He refused again.

I weakly hit his chest with my wrapped hand. “Bastard. You bastard.” He smiled and pulled me in for a kiss, pressing me against the cold brick wall. He my bottom lip and I groaned, and he stuck his tongue in my mouth. I tried to pull away but he held me close. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his hands trailed down my body. His hand lingered at my thigh before he gripped it and hitched my leg up to wrap around his waist. My other leg followed and he was lifting me up and kissing me. He twirled me around and supported me, our kisses getting more heated. He carefully carried me into the bedroom.

The things we fought over changed and the way we made up… changed.

A lot of things changed. I changed.

Even if Yixing had changed me into a better person, the people I did wrong to, the people I degraded, the things I did, none of that would go away. Despite no longer smoking, no more shop lifting, no more scaring others off, my past self can never be erased. As much as I wanted it to be.

We walked home, swinging our entwined hands between us. There was a comfortable silence and we simply enjoyed each others company.

“I have a surprise for you.” Yixing grinned.

“Oh really? And what is that?”

“I’ll show you when we get home, promise.” 

I reached to unlock the house but the door simply swung open. Yixing immediately stepped in front of me to search the house first. 

As soon as we stepped in, we saw that their was glass on the ground, our things had been torn apart and shattered and our home was a mess. Yixing turned the corner to the kitchen and I heard him shout. 

Someone, Lee, ran past me but I grabbed him before he could escape. I saw Lay’s legs peeking out from around the corner and I panicked. I slammed Lee’s head into the wall and punched him in the throat. I ran to Lay and felt my heart drop. I couldn't breathe, I didn't want to. My head was pounding, tears sprung to my eyes, my breath hitched in my throat and I dropped to my knees.

He had a knife in his stomach and he was drenched in blood. His blood. “Oh my God. No… Yixing… Yixing, hold on, I’ll call the cops.”

I grabbed the phone and quickly dialed 119. As the ambulance was on its way, I gripped onto Yixings uncharacteristically cold hands. 

“Don’t close your eyes.” I whispered, cradling his head to my stomach. “Stay with me Yixing. Stay with me.”

He smiled at me, his dimple showing once again but his mouth was filled with blood. “I love you.”

“Shut up. Don't say it like a goodbye.” I growled. 

"I love you more than anyone, Kim Seulmi. You're my angel." He smiled a bloody dimpled smile. I kissed him. I kissed him as if my lips could breathe life into him, as if I could make him better.

The ambulance arrived and they had to practically tear me away from him.

A lot of things happened. Apparently, I had killed Lee. His trachea collapsed when I hit him and he died instantly. I didn’t feel guilty at all. I wasn’t punished since it was self defense. It turns out he was drunk and wanted revenge because of the things I did in the past. The surprise Yixing wanted to give me was in his pocket. It was a simple gold ring. He was going to propose to me... I spent days on end at the hospital, holding Yixings hand, I spent hours crying. Time eventually blurred together and I no longer knew what was going on, I didn’t know what was real and what was dreams.

And here we are now. Here I am, reminiscing on the past.

“Look where we are now, Yixing.” I smiled and twirled the ring on my finger.

“I really changed, haven’t I?” I didn’t wait for a reply. “I changed. You changed. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”

I placed the flowers on his grave stone and stood up.

I fell for the campus heart throb, the gentle and caring lover. The boy who had managed to help me find the innocence I had lost. In turn, I had corrupted him, killed him. Maybe it wasn’t the right choice to invite him in that day, maybe I shouldn’t have let him befriend me. Everyone but him knew I wasn't an Angel. 

But I don’t regret a single moment. I don’t regret falling in love with him. 

Zhang Yixing was not innocent. He knew what he was getting into the first day he had approached me. He knew I would end up corrupting him but he had hoped that he could cleanse me first. Idiot, Zhang Yixing. 

The angel and devil, the school sweetheart and the school rebel, the innocent and the corrupted.

Thank you, Zhang Yixing, for the best years of my life.