#3 Our Love3 - Riku502 (Reviewer: MiszNe99)
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Title (2/5)
The title sounds really boring and cliché. It would not appeal to me.
Appearance (2/5)
The poster too simple and quite boring. You should make the fic title too stand out than the quote. Make it bigger or change the colour.
Description and Foreword (6/10)
It's fine but you should make it more neat.
Plot/Flow (6/20)
This fic still working on right? Maybe because that I can't understand much about this fic. It's quite boring and make me want to skip the chapter and just read the last chapter.
Originality (4/10)
Nothing surprising. I think there many fics like this around AFF. When you update your fic, how about make a little twist. It may ruin your plan but it's will make your fic more interesting. Maybe after your fic half complete, you should ask for review again. So, I can see if your fics improve or not.
Arrangement (3/5)
I don't know what to say. It's a bit awkward. It's too fast to make them think about Yuki real looks.
Writing Style/ Neatness (1/5)
It's a bit messy. You should write your fic like you're writing a novel. In chapter 1, please insert the horizontal line to differentiate the character bio and the story. It's same when you want to write the author note you should insert the horizontal line.
Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation(11/30)
1) Having a Mystery Personality ... Having a mystery personality. (You can bold 'mystery' or just change the colour)
2) You are having a long break from your work ...kinda bored of your holiday nothing to do , your aunt offer you a job as a manger as she is going off for a holiday ... Since you are free and staying in Japan during your break you take over her job for the time being . You are having a long break from your work. Kinda bored of your holiday. Nothing much to do, your aunt offer you a job as a manger, as she is going for a holiday. Since you are free and staying in Japan during your break you take over her job for the time being .
3) Please remember, 'I' must be in capital letter. It's same when you write name.
R/N: There is similar mistakes in which I haven't pointed out. Please re-read your fic and fix them.
Enjoyment (6/10)
Sorry. No enjoyment in this fic.
Total= 41/100
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