#3 Our Love3 - Riku502 (Reviewer: MiszNe99)

Flying Pig Review Shop *OPEN* *NOT HIRING*

 

Title (2/5)

The title sounds really boring and cliché. It would not appeal to me. 

 

Appearance (2/5)

The poster too simple and quite boring. You should make the fic title too stand out than the quote. Make it bigger or change the colour.

 

Description and Foreword (6/10)

It's fine but you should make it more neat.

 

Plot/Flow (6/20)

This fic still working on right? Maybe because that I can't understand much about this fic. It's quite boring and make me want to skip the chapter and just read the last chapter.

 

Originality (4/10)

Nothing surprising. I think there many fics like this around AFF. When you update your fic, how about make a little twist. It may ruin your plan but it's will make your fic more interesting. Maybe after your fic half complete, you should ask for review again. So, I can see if your fics improve or not.

 

Arrangement (3/5)

I don't know what to say. It's a bit awkward. It's too fast to make them think about Yuki real looks.

 

Writing Style/ Neatness (1/5)

It's a bit messy. You should write your fic like you're writing a novel. In chapter 1, please insert the horizontal line to differentiate the character bio and the story. It's same when you want to write the author note you should insert the horizontal line.  

 

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation(11/30)

 

1) Having a Mystery Personality ...                                                                                                                                                                         Having a mystery personality. (You can bold 'mystery' or just change the colour)

2) You are having a long break from your work ...kinda bored of your holiday nothing to do , your aunt offer you a job as a manger as   she is  going off for a holiday ... Since you are free and staying in Japan during your break you take over her job for the time being .                               You are having a long break from your work. Kinda bored of your holiday. Nothing much to do, your aunt offer you a job as a manger, as she is going for a holiday. Since you are free and staying in Japan during your break you take over her job for the time being .

3) Please remember, 'I' must be in capital letter. It's same when you write name.

R/N: There is similar mistakes in which I haven't pointed out. Please re-read your fic and fix them.

 

Enjoyment (6/10)

Sorry. No enjoyment in this fic.

Total= 41/100

 

 

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Comments

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imsozelo
#1
Title: Holding Onto Gravity

Author: imsozelo

Story link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/422694/holding-onto-gravity-oneshot-zelo-jongup-bap-jonglo

Does your story contain : No

Reviewer: Kakurine039

Is English your first language: Nope. So please kindly point out my flaws! >_<

Password: seunghyunismine

Additional information: you can focus on my grammar mistakes but please tell me the negative sides of the storyline as well!
BangtanCheesecake #2
I want a review!
Title:
My Alien Boyfriend
Author:
kulkk1234

Story link:
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/413715/
Does your story contain :
yes

Reviewer:
#2 BangingYongguk
Is English your first language:
nope
Password:
seunghyunismine
Additional information:

I mainly focus on so i wish to hear more comment on the sm ut :D
i submit my story for a review here before LOL it's called "my dad is your boss" it's my first fanfic, i hope my writing is better now o_o
Thank you so much! :) <3
LauraaGx
#3
Chapter 6: Aw thank you, I'll fix my mistakes. <3
ThatOneOtherWriter
#4
Title: My Brother's 'Brother'



Author: ThatOneOtherWriter



Story link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/190638/my-brother-s-brother-drama-korean-romance-seunghyun-siwon--yunho



Does your story contain : Not at this time.



Reviewer: BangingYongguk



Is English your first language: Yes



Password: seunghyunismine



Additional information: I'd like to know, most of all, if the pace isn't too slow and if my characterization isn't bad. It hadn't been updated in a while but I want to continue it, but not before I get s third-party, non-biased opinion on it.
Pab0Panda
#5
Title: Love to be loved by you

Author:Pab0panda

Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/254162

Does your story contain : No

Reviewer: BangingYongguk

Is English your first language: No, it isn't

Password: seunghyunismine

Additional information:
kyouyas
#6
Title: Aish! That Jung Daehyun!



Author: kpoplistener



Story link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/249776/aish-that-jung-daehyun-yongguk-zelo-jongup-bap-daehyun-youngjae-kimnamjoo



Does your story contain : no



Reviewer: any



Is English your first language: yes



Password: seunghyunismine



Additional information: Please focus on characterization, and please be nice :)
LauraaGx
#7
Oh crap. I just noticed I messed up the application. Oops! Sorry if it caused any inconvenience. I'll do it again, this time the right way.

I want a review!



Title: When you fall, who will be there to catch you?



Author: LauraaGx



Story link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/234374/when-you-fall-who-will-be-there-to-catch-you-angst-bigbang-choiseunghyun-gdragon



Does your story contain : No.



Reviewer: Kakurine039



Is English your first language: No.



Password: seunghyunismine



Additional information: This is my first fan fic, and I wanted to know how I've been doing so far.
jiminniexmochi
#8
I want to be a reviewer!

Username: KPopFan4Ever101

Profile link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/78089
Examples of reviews: I have my own review shop ---> http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/205632/ng--l--c-s----uls----------------------------n-apply-request-review-requestshop-reviewshop

Activeness: 8/10

Strictness: 3/10

: Yes

/Yuri: only

Specified chapters: I don't really care to be honest. But the more chapters, the longer you'll have to wait for a review. I'm a fast reader, though ^^

How many reviews can you do in a week: 25-30

Why do you want to become a reviewer: I enjoy reading very much. It opens my mind to let know what other people think about this and that.
Some words to say: Hello! I'm KPopFan4Ever101! As you can see, I can read any type of story but I only like /: I also have my own reviewshop. I'm very leany and I don't like being mean ^^;

Password: ReignOverTheFrostedHeavens
GPB_babyJaney
#9
I want to be a reviewer!



Username: GPB_babyJaney



Profile link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/92093



Examples of reviews: n/a


Activeness: 8



Strictness: 9



: Yes



/Yuri: no



Specified chapters: 25-30



How many reviews can you do in a week: about 3 since i reread each chapter



Why do you want to become a reviewer: Honestly I'm very much into giving feedback since I'm not much of a silent person. I also like letting people know of what I think they should improve on.



Some words to say:
HI!!! I'm Faye, Kiseop's crazy wifeuu @_@ 11 years old in this random world @_@ I'm into reading fanfics and love to give feedback about stories read ^_^ Some of my reviews might be a bit hurtful but I promise I'm nice (alright not really sure if I'm nice xD)Each review will be having detailed points, the good points and bad points. Don't be afraid to approach me if there's something you want me to clear out for you :) IF YOU LOVE U-KISS, LET'S BE FRIENDS xD


Password: seunghyunismine
GPB_babyJaney
#10
I want to apply but I don't have much time to fill up the form. and i also don't have any reviews posted as well but i really want to join!!!

author-nim, please wait for me ;AAA;