Title (2/5)

Bigbang is only surprised at the beginning so the title makes not much connection to the story.

Appearance (5/5)

Poster is simple and I love simple.

Description and Foreword (10/10)

Of course sneak peek is not the full story, you don’t have to write “not the full story”

Plot/Flow (20/20)

Not too fast nor too slow.

Originality (6/10)

Often see plot and a bit cliché.

Arrangement (5/5)

No problem.

Writing Style/ Neatness (2/5)

I see you keep changing the font sizes of some paragraph or thoughts, there is definitely not a need for that. For thoughts you could just italics it. Pictures are not necessary in describing, author describes with words.

English (10/30)

You seemed to mix the tense together. “ I “ when used as pronoun MUST always be capitalized, in your story most of the “ I “ are not capitalized and that is a big mistake. Every name’s first letter MUST also be capitalized.

Here are some mistakes I found:

“How about me?” TOP frown = frowns, why? You are using present tense verb, TOP is only one person or singular so the verb following should be written in the singular form and that is the –s form.

Ex. She play in the garden = wrong

     She plays in the garden = correct

     They eats here = wrong because they are plural or many so the verb following should be in the base form or the main word.

     They eat here = correct

You just graduate High School in the states and is going back to Korea – graduated because you already graduate right? Is should be are because the subject is you and you is special pronoun as in plural so the following verb must be plural too.

Enjoyment (10/10)

I really, really enjoyed it especially PandEE.

Total= 70/100

R/N= you still have lots to improve! I apologized if this sounded too harsh, hope it helped. Anyway, if you don’t understand the English part, you can always come and ask me.

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