LOVE. It is the feeling that I never thought I’d come to feel in my entire existence. It is the reason why I always have this feeling of butterflies in my stomach whenever I see him around. It is the reason why I suffered; why he suffered. It is the exact feeling of affection I never thought I would feel for someone like him. It is the reason why things became difficult for me; for us. Yet, it was the feeling that he managed to make me feel; to love and to be loved back by the person you adore.

Him. That one person who showered me with so much love; with his y, stylish purple hair; his intimidating eyes and every cold stare he gave with those; his kissable, pink lips that makes me go crazy whenever he it. He, the guy sitting over there; casually leaning his head back under that big oak tree. e is my boyfriend.

Lee Byunghun, as what his parents named him. He is called L.Joe by his close friends and every other student knows him by that screen name of his.

He actually preferred to be called by his real name but nobody dared to try calling him that. They thought that it would make him angry and he will start beating them to death or break their bones because of a simple mistake.

He is a gangster, by the way. He, together with his friends, is feared by everyone in the school’s population because of being members of the infamous gang, ‘TEENTOP’

Why, you ask? What is there to be afraid of? They’re just a gang. But that’s the point. They ARE a gang. And what do you think they do? Of course, just as what a gang actually does. They kill, sell drugs, fight and show no mercy to people who were as weak as a helpless little dog that was lost in the middle of nowhere. That’s right. They were merciless; heartless, indeed. They bully people and they always get what they want because of their feared existence. They always take advantage of the weakness of others. They were like.. living devils. Handsome devils, actually. Undeniably handsome and angelic faces is what they have outside but beneath those deceiving looks were actually devilish wicked jerks who were like predators searching for their prey. Well, all of them are; except for one particular person.

That person is L.Joe. He.. he is different among them. He fights, yet he never kills. He believed that it will be unfair to die under the arms of your fellow creature. But that’s not my point.

L.Joe. He’s.. a fool; a jerk. Stupid, crazy little bastard who despised rules. He’s a rebellious person. But despite those negative personality traits that he has, he managed to make me fall for him. Hilarious, isn’t it? But that’s a fact.

That day when I first met him, it was still clearly pictured in my mind. Every single moment I had with him from then until now; I can clearly picture them all like it was a memory of yesterday. Every moment was still fresh in my mind.

It was a quiet afternoon and everything seemed peaceful and at ease.  I was sitting on a bench in the school garden back then; quietly reading a book and being just the loner I am. He, on the other hand, was also there, facing the punishment of breaking another rule.

He went on to approach me, but only to sue me away from the garden. Me, of course, being the stubborn person I am, didn’t budged. Like seriously, why? I got there first, for his information. Then I snapped at him. He was so shocked that time that I swear, his facial expression was priceless. It was like I am the very first person to do that to him; or he’s just easily shocked like that. Maybe it was the first. Maybe it’s the second. I don’t really know. And I don’t want to know. For all I care.

But then that marked the start of our everyday interactions. We grew familiar with each other. We grew closer that it came to a point where in a day won’t pass without us bickering. We started opening up with each other and unexpected feelings of affection started to develop without us knowing.

Days passed and I started to doubt myself. I started acting strange and I felt like I’m not myself anymore. I get mad whenever I see a girl near him, I feel disappointed whenever he chooses something over me; including his gangster works. I started to feel things I wasn’t supposed to feel in the first place. Then I started thinking. Do I like him?

But no. I cannot like him. I should not like him. He’s a gangster. A bad, merciless, devious gangster. That, I keep telling myself. Because I know, it will be a bad idea falling for someone like him. Unconsciously, I started to avoid him.  I walked the opposite way he does and almost did everything possible just to be away from him or even to be face to face with him.

Then that day came, he burst inside my classroom in the middle of the class and dragged me away to who-knows-where. I tried to release my hands from his grip but he’s stronger than me.

It wasn’t that long before he released me and stopped. I looked around and realized that he had taken me to the garden — the place where we first met. Silence took over. I looked at him and immediately regretted it; telling myself to stop staring at his tantalizing eyes.

But my thoughts didn’t last long when he suddenly took my face with his soft hands. He cupped my cheeks with those and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ears. He lifted my chin up and pressed his forehead with mine. Though I tried to avoid his eyes by trying to distract myse