A wise man once said to me that change is the only thing that's constant. And I admit that he was right but that wise man forgot to tell me that change was also the most scariest thing in the world. As I carefully take down poster from my wall and place it in the cardboard box full of my stuff, I remember the time I put these poster on the wall. I was and still am obessesed with Paramore, I bought the poster from the money I have saved up and cover one entire wall side with it. It took me hours to decide how I wanted to put them. I used to stare at them at night when I was listen to songs by those same artist.

 

I take a step back and stare at the wall. The room is almost empty except for the cardboard box that was full of my stuff nothing was left. My bed, my study table all gone, my closets empty. I control my urge to scream and just let out a low sigh. I look outside the window one last time. This view has been my view ever since I can remember. I used to look at it when I was sad, happy, mad, this is the view that used to play a huge role in my imagination cause I used to look at it when I should have been studying. The tree in my yard and the road infront of it and the creepy neighbours house all of them were a part of me for 16 years. I close my eyes to remeber how it looked when it snowed, and how peaceful it look in the fall. And the fact that I will never see it again just breaks my heart into million pieces.

 

I grab my cardboard box and walk out of the room cause I'm afraid I will start to overthink and change my mind. I shut the door of my room, well it's going to be someone else but for now it's just an empty room. "Mom where do I put this last box?" I shout as I can't see her. " Give  it to cousin Henry" Mom sounds out of breathe. The sound coming from the kicten so I place my stuff down and  go toward the kicthen.

 

" Aunty, sit down I will take them out my self" Cousin Alex. I am glad my cousin are here to help us cause if they were not here I am sure mom would have overworked herself. I'm really thankfull as they are also taking care of the stuff that we won't be able to take with us. As Alex pass me by I give him a smile of gratitude.

 

" Mom are we done now?" I asked ." Yeah all the stuff are out of the house, our stuff are on the van and Alex and henry will take care of the rest. So we are on time" She checks her watch as we head outside. The summer breeze is so refreshing, we have summer vacation right now but I won't be able to enjoy it here.

 

" Is that everything?" Henry asks. " ohh I left something inside" I ran to retrive it. The door crecks when I entre, The sound is louder than usual. I pick the box and slowly take a 360 turn as a way of saying goodbye. As i am outside I carefully listen the door creck one more time. Oh I think i am going to miss this sound as well, I must be going carzy.

 

As i pass the box to Alex I ask him what is he going to do with these stuff. "YARD SALE" he boost. I fake a smile but inside I'm like all my precious stuff are going to be sold. "Stop thinking about it, or you will cause somekinda trouble" I though to my self."BEEP BEEP" Mom's already in the van. I ran toward her and got inside. We wave good bye to the cousins.

 

I can't believe , I am seeing this neigourbhood for thr last time. I passe them wgile going to school, wgile coming from school. while going to the mall in simple words countless times.This isn't fair that I have to leave all this for Dad. I mean he was barely a part of my life and this major, stupid, unnecessary change was becase of him. I haven't seen Dad in 7 months. He always used to visit us every 3 or 4 months. He was always traveling because of business. This so-called business made me fatherless. When I was around 7 years I used to wait for dad and the day he used to show up were the best day of my life. He never used to bring me toy or any stuff. his smie was enough for me but after a while even if he was home he wasn't. I always longed for father's love. My dad is like a guy who provides us financial help and comes to check on us evey once in a while. Dad got a permanent job in korea . I must be happy that I will finally get to see my Dad everyday which I used to want but I wasn't happy not at all. 

 

"No friends, it easier that way." I try to reason my self. I don't have close friend and since it's summer vacation the people I usually talk to aren't around so I have non of my so called friend to bid farewell. I wonder if they will notice that I'm gone. As Mom takes a left  Alex and henry are out of view so I stop waving. I find my ipod on my side. I am glad I'm on the backseat cause if not Mom will see that I'm smiling like a fool. She just knows me too well and I love her for that.

 

We don't share a word during the journey. Even in the plane it's all quiet. And I know both of us love the way it is. She stays in her owm world and I stay in my but we both know in the end that we are each other's world.

 

"You have landed in korea" A mechanical voice annouces. So here it comes the land of change.

"Are you nervous?" mom asked as we got our luggage." obviously, it's nerve racking. I can't believ that I will be joining in the middle of the semester" " But you will do just fine, hon. I know it" Mom knows how to make things better. I gave her a smile. As we reached outside a man gretted us and took our luggage. Mom did all the talking and I was back to my own world with my ear phone on.

 

" We are here, hon' Mom getting excited. As I looked infront Dad was standing infront of a big house. It was kind of surreal, he was actually there to welcome us. " Welcome hime" Dad said planting a kiss on mom's cheek. He turn around and said the same thing to me. I just faked a little smile.

 

" So do you like it?" Dad Indicating the house. " Yes, I love it. It's so beautiful." Everyone can hear the excitment in mom's voice. The two of them went inside .I stood on the road , stared the house and analysed it. It was Too big for my taste

I went inside. Mom was busy moving things around and ordering everyone . Dad was sitting on the kitchen table and sipping on what seems to be black coffee.

 I went and sat besides. An Awkward silence follows. "uhmm" dad cleared his throat. " do u want some?" he offered. I should be thankful for his effort to start a converstaion but anger runs throught my whole body. " no thank you" I fake a smile and leave for my room. he doesn't even now that her daughter is allergic to coffee.