The crowd was visibly anxious and they were talkative, filling the large room with a roar of a voice. The entire student body was gathered in their school’s first-floor gym anticipating the martial arts competition to begin.

            “Is this as exciting as everyone says it is?” MinHo asked a new found friend who sat next to him. His arms were folded and his voice was cold; he was uninterested in the activities presented before him, the boy’s foot tapped on the bleacher as he impatiently waited.

            “It is.” The boy next to him said with a quick nod. “Last year, the Chinese sophomore Tao won and everyone loved it. They’re expecting him to win again this year.”

            “Introducing,” the student announcer spoke over the speaker systems and the crowd silenced themselves. “Our line-up of competitors!”

            The roaring crowd clapped and cheered as ten people showed themselves on the deep red mats mats and bowed to the audience in unison, each wearing their own kind of uniform.

            “I will introduce you to last year’s champion: Huang ZiTao!” the announcer said and Tao took a step forward, bowed, and front flipped for the crowd, who roared out their response loudly. He smiled and waved, bowed quickly once more and returned to his spot.

            The rest of the members were introduced: KwangSun was second in line and MyungDae was last in line, who was introduced as their ‘funniest’ member. MyungDae just smiled and bowed, making a funny stance that he had seen once in a movie, and the crowd laughed at him as they were supposed to. He took his spot in the line again and was asked to go first because he was at the bottom of the chart. He was going against a boy named Kim TaeYoung, who was last years ‘funniest member’ because he, too, had little skill in the sport, only signing up to become noticed. With his black ensemble and skillfully applied black eyeliner, MyungDae stared at his opponent from the opposite side of the mat. The flag was raised and TaeYoung took his stance, while MyungDae stood perfectly still. The crowd was silenced and the flag dropped. TaeYoung ran towards MyungDae who quickly dodged his first kick with an easy dart to the left and swinging his right leg around backwards hit the back of TaeYoung’s stable knee. The boy fell to the ground and MyungDae looked down at him with narrowed eyes.

            “What happened to him?” Sun asked Tao with a concerned look in his face. “Do you think he could have improved that much since we saw him?”

            “I don’t know.” Tao pursed his lips, observing him well.

            TaeYoung was over with and MyungDae bowed to the boy, who could not get up easily. His name was changed on the chart, moving up a space, and the next two opponents began their competition.

            “Why was he called the funniest member?” MinHo asked. “There was nothing funny about his performance.”

            “My roommate Tao was telling me that this kid was an absolute joke and he couldn’t fight during practice. I don’t think Tao would lie about it.” Kris said as he sat forward on his bleacher seat, his elbows on his knees.

            “Do you think the kid lied about being bad at it?” Minho asked.

            “I don’t know what the motive would be to do something like that.” Kris sat up again, watching the fight end as the crowd cheered.

            It was the final few, and MyungDae was going against KwangSun, who was a bit nervous seeing how well he had improved, but was confident in himself that he could beat the boy. For the past fights, MyungDae had waited for his opponent, but when the flag dropped, he ran towards Sun at full speed, who was paralyzed with confusion. Sun dodged his initial attack, and darted to the center, waiting for him. Running at Sun, MyungDae did a performance flip, as it had no impact on Sun, and after two flips, flipped over Sun and landed on his shoulders and quickly put his legs around his neck, pulling him to the ground just after.

            Sun pulled free and struck MyungDae hard in the arm with his heel and seeing the pain on his face, the crowd reacted, their voices in a joint, ‘Ooh.’ Almost being able to feel the pain themselves, they began to cheer wildly at the sight. Gripping his shoulder, MyungDae stood quickly and sprinted to the end of the mat, waiting for Sun, who wasn’t about to move from his spot. They waited at a standstill and MyungDae took a seat on the floor, eyes closed. He breathed in and out slowly. Sun grew impatient and went towards MyungDae, who suddenly rolled forward under Sun and leaping up, kicked him in the rear, sending him to the floor. Standing in a perfect, movie-like stance, he looked over his left shoulder at his opponent and was declared the winner of the round. Turning to Sun, he smiled and stuck out a hand.

            “It was great fighting you.” He said and Sun took his hand and stood with his help; they bowed to each other.

           MyungDae waited as the top two, Tao and a boy named Kim JongIn, fought for their ranking. He had recalled seeing him enter a room down the hallway from him. He waited and saw that Kai had won after a good fight, but either way, he would have to defeat only Kai in order to finally win the tournament, even if it wasn’t his intention. He took an initial seat on the end of the mat and waited for the flag to drop.

            “I wonder what his intention for this whole thing is.” Kris spoke to Minho, who seemed uninterested in even answering him.

            “How’s the fight going?” TOP asked as he took a seat next to Kris.

            “Do you remember that kid who moved into RaIm’s room?” Kris asked TOP and he nodded, to which Kris pointed to the mats and squinting, TOP’s expression soured. “He was supposed to be the joke candidate but it seems that the joke is on the players. He’s amazing and I don’t understand how.”

            “That punk’s going to get in a lot of trouble.” TOP said as he sat comfortably, his voice becoming a blur within the crowd’s massive voice.

            JongIn took his place on the other side of the mat and the crowd cheered. The flag dropped and immediately, MyungDae looked up at his opponent as he still sat on the mat. JongIn walked to the center of the mat and waited; his stance was strong and his eyes were unmoving. The crowd died down in silent anticipation. He bit his lip while waiting, a smirk on his face.

            Standing, MyungDae limped to JongIn and then took a fighter’s stance as he had done when he sparred with Tao. Kai let out a laugh and then used his hands to hit his arm, which he did not block, only standing in the same stance as still as a stone. He was hit again and again. Growing angry that his attacks were no use, Kai turned and kicked MyungDae with his heel on the right side of his face and he fell to the floor. With a smile MyungDae looked at the ceiling and held a hand to his cheek. From his pocket, he pulled his mask and put it on to hide the embarrassment of bleeding. He rolled backwards and did a handstand, then stood correctly.

            “We don’t like show-offs at this school.” Kai spoke to him on the mat and MyungDae chuckled, not uttering a single word, but his eyes burned with an idea and he walked with his back to his opponent, and stopped at the edge of the mat.

            “Are you running away?” Kai called, his voice echoed in the quiet gymnasium.

            Turning around, MyungDae looked at him and then shook his head slowly and closed his eyes, looking down. He opened his eyes and looked up at Kai and smiled underneath his mask. Kai began to go towards MyungDae, who ran at him with all of his might, dropped himself onto his hands and with a great push, sprung himself towards Kai’s shoulders, but he ducked and MyungDae dropped to the other side of Kai. The crowd began to pick up as Kai swung his palm at him, but it was blocked by a swing of MyungDae’s leg, which he then retaliated with a swing of his fist as well. Taking a step back, MyungDae turned and ran to the corner of the mat and Kai followed- just as he wanted him to do. He quickly rolled underneath his legs and sprang up and with a powerful swing threw out his leg and kicked him in his lower back.

            With a loud thud onto the mat, Kai let out a scream of pan, writhing where he fell. MyungDae was out of breath and turned to see Kai there and his pupils widened as his eyes narrowed. He hadn’t meant to seriously hurt him and had miscalculated his hit too low, but something within him had been angry and he had used too much force on the boy. MyungDae’s hands and knees began to shake and fell onto the mat, unable to hold him up; his eyes were quickly filling with tears. The medical team who had been waiting on the sidelines, pushed MyungDae aside as they ran to Kai. MyungDae struggled to get up and when he did he ran out of the auditorium, stumbling on the way there. Fans screamed and were silenced and were concerned with Kai. They were quickly advised to stay in their seats. Tao ran after MyungDae and found him holding onto the wall because he had collapsed onto the floor in a horrible cry.

            “Get up.” Tao yelled at him, a fearful tear in his eye. “Get up and fight like a man.”

            “I don’t want to.” MyungDae cried out, covering his face with his hands and stood to leave but Tao caught him by the shirt and pulled him back, turning him around to face him.

            Slapping his face, he looked at him in the eyes. “These things happen all the time. Get a hold of yourself and when you pull yourself together and come back in the arena and face me in the fight.”

            “Why you?” he cried. “I don’t want to fight anyone else. I think I heard a crack.”

            “His back did not crack.”

            “I heard it!” he yelled before he fell to the floor in tears.

            Tao waited a minute and looked at him. “Why does your voice get so high when you cry? Usually when normal people cry, they cry in the same voice they speak in. You cry with the voice of a girl.”

            MyungDae wouldn’t look at him.

            “Well, don’t you keep me waiting.” Tao huffed and returned to the gym where they were taking Kai out on a stretcher, the crowd applauding as he rose his hand to signal he was alright.

            “I’m sorry!” MyungDae yelled as the stretcher passed him. He reached out a hand and let it drop.

            He sat for a minute or two in the hallway and wiped his tears and put on a strong face as he returned to the gym. The crowd was silent for his return and solemn-faced, looked at them and took his place on the mat, seated again. The bruises on his uncovered face weren’t visible yet, but he was hurting badly. The black-haired boy looked at Tao and it was announced that Tao will face off to declare the winner. MyungDae stood and walked to the center of the mat and bowed at his opponent and took a stance. Tao rolled his eyes: it was the same stance he took when sparring.

            “Are you going to give me that stance again?” Tao huffed. “Don’t you dare go easy on me; I want to see you fight.”

           Tao lunged at MyungDae and did a handless front flip and on his way down held out his foot, the back of his heel striking MyungDae on his right shoulder. He accepted the hit and fell to the ground like a limp doll.

            “This better be one of your tricks.” Tao looked at him on the ground and MyungDae closed his eyes and stood up slowly but Tao took a laugh at him and pushed him back down with his foot. “You’re like a toy. Get up and fight like a man!” He taunted.

            “I can’t.” MyungDae told him.

            “Why not? Are you scared?” Tao said. “Kai was weak and he could have avoided it if he was stronger. I’m stronger than Kai. Fight me like you mean it.”

            “Don’t talk about him that way.” MyungDae defended.

            “Does it get you angry?” he smiled as he found his weak point. “He squealed just like your father did when he died, too. Writhing on the floor like that like a little child.”

            MyungDae’s eyes shot open with blinding rage and his breathing became heavier and burdened with the pain of the love of a child and their parent. He shut his eyes tightly and spun himself around quickly, tripping Tao to the ground.

            “Get up!” MyungDae yelled with a mocking voice and with an evil twist to his neck; Tao rolled backwards to avoid a deathly kick and stood, ready for the fight.

            Lunging at him, MyungDae’s eyes were full of tears and his vision was clouded, and used Tao’s motion to track him as a large beast would and threw punches at him but only was punched in the face multiple times himself. Falling to the ground, he was physically exhausted, for crying had taken a lot out of him. He tried to catch his breath, but Tao continued to beat down on him. Breaking free, MyungDae ran to the edge of the mat and ran back at Tao. MyungDae slid, as one does in baseball with his legs out in front of him, and closed them around Tao’s ankles and rolling his entire body over he threw Tao to the ground harshly with a loud thud. Sitting atop Tao and put his hand on his throat with a tight grip- the crowd gasped.

            “Say you’re sorry!” he yelled.

            The flag was pulled upwards and KwangSun ran and tackled MyungDae off of Tao, who fought with him to reach back at Tao, who had been choking, and now gasped for air when he was released.

            “Get a hold of yourself!” Sun yelled and punched his face harshly and the brown-eyed boy stopped struggling. Sun let go of him and he fell lifelessly onto the mat, his eyes full of painful tears and his lungs lacking air. He breathed heavily, his arms spread to either side of him on the mat and he cried out. The crowd was silent, and suddenly roared out when Tao was announced the winner for misconduct on MyungDae’s part. Students left the arena and MyungDae was still on the floor, his eyes closed as he was deep in thought and the spit of the students on his garment.

            “Are you okay?” a girl’s mid-toned voice called from above him and he looked up to see her bent over him with her hands in her pants.

            “Leave me alone.” He rolled over and pushed himself to his feet, brushing his hands off he looked at her in the eyes, then looked at her up and down before walking away. “Okay, that’s fine, too.” She told him and he rolled his eyes. “I know where you live!”

            Stopping, he turned around to look at her and said, “Good. But don’t waste your time knocking- I won’t be answering.”

 

            “There you are!” she called as he waved his keycard in front of the elevator and she stepped in with him. “I want to talk.”

            “I don’t.” he said as he pressed the number three on the elevator.

            “But I don’t want you to feel sad.” She smiled and grabbed his arm, but he pulled away from her.

            “What do you want me to do?” he yelled and crossed his arms. “Do you want me to pretend that never happened? Pretend that I didn’t almost end two people’s lives? Pretend that I’m not beneath the spit of the students here?” The doors opened and he ran straight across to his room and opened the door and closed it quickly behind him. He let out a breath and took a quick shower. Changing into a hoodie, he put a mask on his face and left his room without bothering to look at his bruises that were forming in awful, dark purples and yellows. He went down the elevator and down a few hallways on the first floor, exiting the building after he did. Before he threw his hands in his pockets, he threw the hood over his head and began to walk down the road with his headphones sounding in his ears. It took him a ten minute walk and a twenty minute bus ride when he arrived at his destination.

            “I’m looking for a Kim JongIn? Probably came in here with a back injury?” he asked the woman at the front desk and she told him the room number and he thanked her. Walking down the clean, white hallway, he found Kai’s room and entered uneasy after a knock. Kai was asleep. He took the chair in the corner of the room and sat there with his hands in his pockets. It was no more than fifteen minutes later- MyungDae was asleep and was awoken by a harsh “Yah!”

            Looking up, Kai was sitting up in his bed and looking at him with confused eyes and a furrowed brow. “What are you doing here?” he was asked and stood up, walking towards the bed.

            “I felt bad for what I did, so I came to see how you were.”

            “I’ll be fine.” Kai reassured.

            “I’m sorry.” MyungDae apologized and slowly dropped to his knees and bowed to the boy on the bed. “I am truly apologetic. I wish I could take it back, or offer myself to you somehow.”

            “I don’t want you to do anything.” Kai said. “I said I’ll be fine. Get up.”

            “Saying it and actually being it are two different things. I’ll carry your books.” He offered.

            “No.” the bed-ridden boy shook his head. “Don’t do anything for me. I don’t want it; it’s not you, I don’t want it from anyone.”

            “Stop trying to be strong.” MyungDae argued. “Just let me do something.”

            “Get out of the room if you want to do something.” Kai bitterly snapped.

            “Alright.” MyungDae walked to the boy and stood on his tip toes and pulled down his mask as he kissed his forehead and put the mask back up before leaving.

            “Yah!” Kai called. “What was that for?”

            “I saw it in a movie once.” MyungDae turned to look at him. “They were not lovers, nor were they brothers. They simply had respect for each other. One man kissed the other’s forehead to show they were in an accord, except the other had died. I didn’t think it was such a bad idea. I’ve been doing it ever since.”

            “Am I the first to question it?” Kai asked as his visitor turned to leave.

            With a smirk on his hidden face, MyungDae replied, “No. You won’t be the last, either. But you might be the first one to understand it.”

            MyungDae left the room and walked down the hallway and out of the doors of the hospital. As he was leaving, people he recognized from the dojo were arriving and Tao was among them; when they passed he gave MyungDae a deathly stare and purposely bumped shoulders with him; instantly MyungDae grabbed Tao’s arm and held him back from the crowd.

            “What do you want?” Tao snapped at the boy as he threw his arm free from the boy’s grip. “And why were you here?”

            “I came to see the same person you did.” MyungDae said with an even tone in his voice, his mood mellowing by the passing minute. “I’m glad I found you again.” He said and slowly dropped to his knees once more, bowing at the boy. “I wish to ask your forgiveness.”

            Tao was startled; no one had ever done this to him before. MyungDae waited on the ground for a response.

            “Get up.” Tao snapped as he lightly kicked his hands. “I don’t care about what you did.”

            “I do.” MyungDae said. “I don’t want to kill anyone. I was seriously considering killing you because of what you said about my father.”

            “Why didn’t you?” Tao asked. “You were able to, but you weren’t gripping tight enough.”

            “I didn’t want to kill you, I said. I know I could have.”

            “Why did you hold back when you fought, too? Instead of fighting like you did for the rest of them?” Tao questioned.

            “I don’t like playing ‘Twenty questions’, I’m leaving now.” MyungDae said.

            “Were you afraid of something?”

            “I liked you too much.” MyungDae said with a smile underneath his mask as he disappeared down the road where the nighttime fog was settling low on the road.

 

 

            “School’s tomorrow.” MyungDae said to himself as he lay on his bed, deep in thought. “I’ll just try and fit in. Try and not be in everyone’s faces.”

           

            “RaIm!” someone called as he stepped out of his room the next morning. With a half-hearted expression on his face, he looked to the right to see it was only his imagination, and it continued as he stared into the empty hallway, ghosts of the past danced to a silent tune. “It’s a new year, can’t you see? It’s going to be perfect! You, me, we’ll be together this year just like we promised.” It was Kris. “I… I can’t.” she replied and looked at him in the face. He watched as the ghosts interacted with each other for a little while before they vanished as someone stepped in front of him, blocking his view and bringing him back into reality.

            “Oh.” His face dropped. “What do you want?”

            “O-ppa.” She cutely said and took a step back from her. “I want your help.”       

            “Don’t call me oppa and maybe I’ll consider it.” He looked at her. “And you’re finally wearing a skirt instead of the boy’s uniform.”

            “It’s not disallowed, you know.” She said as she followed him down the hallway.

            “Why are you following me?” he asked without bothering to turn around.

            “I told you I wanted your help.” She tugged on his bag.

            “Yah!” he yelled. “Tell me what you want help with so I can say ‘no’ and move on with my life.”

            “I like someone and I want them to like me back.” She said. “You can’t say ‘no’ to that.” She smiled with sincerity and it was correct that he could not say ‘no’, for the sentence made no sense if completed that way.

            The musty hallway air filled his lungs as he breathed in heavily, exhaling just as loud. Stopping in his tracks, he turned around to face her. His eyes burned within his sockets as he stared down at her. The sight of her repulsed him and yet he was pleased that she would bother to be next to him despite what happened.

            “I’m not going to judge you because of what happened during the competition.” She smiled at him. “That’s kind of why I wanted your help because you know Tao.”

            “Tao?” his expression soured.

            “No!” she giggled at him and he stood there with his eyes narrowed and his mouth slightly agape.

            “Then who is it?” he asked her, checking his watch. He rolled his eyes at the discovery that he might be late if he did not leave at that moment and turned to walk again.

            “His name is Kim Eli.” She bit her lip. “He’s absolutely dreamy.”

            At the sound of this he made a face and stuck his tongue out, almost tripping on the stairs as he descended them.

            “Don’t make that face!” she said as she ran down the stairs to keep up with his quick pace- he was trying to get away from her.

            “Don’t you have class to go to?” he asked as he put his hand on the handle of the classroom door.

            “We’re in the same class.” She said and he cringed as he turned the knob and opened the door.

            “How do you know that?” he asked but she stayed silent.

            Taking a seat, the girl followed him into the room and took a seat directly behind him. He wasn’t particularly enthused about his early morning class and slouched in his seat as the student-teacher began. That’s what it was like in the school: the students who were academically superior in subjects were the teachers of the subjects. There was no one on school grounds above the age of 27; everyone from the principal to the janitors belonged there both as a worker and a student.

            The bell rang and the stood from his seat and walked out of the classroom, his bag in his hands.

            “Look, it’s Song MyungDae!” a girl pointed and he looked towards her as she came running his way.

            He stood there, paralyzed: “Why is she running to me?”

            “Uh.” He hesitated and she hid her face as she smiled and squealed in front of him and a few more girls came up to him and did the same. A few more jointed them and took pictures and he took a step back and began to walk in the opposite direction.

            “Oppa!” they squealed and he put his bag on his back and began to quicken his pace even more.

            “What do they want with me?” he asked as he ran through the hallways and turned a corner, hugging it tightly as he was out of breath.