Hayley's POV

"Hayley" someone shakes my shoulder.

I wake up, and remember everything that just happened.

They're...
Gone

Donghae is standing, looking down at me with apologetic eyes. I look around, and find that everyone else has already gone. Waiting outside with the luggage. Waiting for me to join them.

"We're here" He says.

I nod and stand, rubbing my eyes.

"Sorry" I mumble sleepily.

"Don't worry about it"

I grab my things and walk out with Donghae, taking my first steps onto home soil. It's been so long, since I've been here. The air feels different. As we approach our housemates with suitcases, I realize something.

I didn't pack anything.
Wait!
Don't panic. You lived here, you'll have stuff.

"Hey sleepy head" Siwon greets when we reach the circle.

"Hi" I reply.

"Alright! Alright! Listen up gentlemen, Miss. Jung" One of the men who came to the boarding house shouts, grasping our attention.

"You are all widely famous for different things, so you are all used to the media. Yes?" He asks.

Nods are exchanged, but we keep quiet.

"As soon as we exit through that airport, people will bombard you guys with questions, especially you Miss. Jung. It will be just, if not more intense than how it was Seoul..."

The press, the press is despicable.

"So, I need you all to stay with us at all times. Keep your shades on, keep quiet and keep your heads down" Gesturing to the group of bodyguards as he speaks.

We all slide on our sunglasses and smooth our clothes. Me, running a few fingers through my hair.

"Are you ready for this?"

We nod, and begin to walk. Workers coming to take the luggage ahead, going to place it in the trunks of the cars. We walk in a sort of triangle formation, with me at the front and the guys fanning out behind me. Our protection at our flanks. The first camera flash comes, followed by many others. Lightning speed as they snap shots of us.

Everyone is watching.
Always watching me.
Always intrusive, with no empathy.

“Miss. Jung! Who are these people behind you?!”

“Miss. Jung! How are you taking your bro-”

“Miss. Jung! Why are South Korean, boy band, Super Junior with you today?!”

“Miss. Jung! What do you intend to do as the heir to your family?!”

“Miss. Jung! Regarding the economic crisis-”

“Miss. Jung! Your brother’s deaths-”

“Miss. Jung! Tell us how you’re dealing?!”

“Miss. Jung! When’s the funeral?!”

(a/n: all things said in English will be in red)

I clench my fists, and keep my lips tightly shut. Refraining myself from shouting at them all, from making every single one of them lose their jobs. Though the idea would seem fair, considering all the extra pain they’re inflicting on me. We reach the cars, and I block out their cries for answers. Slipping into a car that only I’m meant to be in, the same set up as before.

“Hayley, I’m so sorry” Jeffery, my chauffer from when I was 5 greets me, our eyes meeting in the rear view mirror.

“Thank you Jeffery, it’s been a while” I reply, strained voice. Trying to not cry.

He drives, not playing music or the radio. Knowing that I’m at my limit already. Knowing that if he turns that radio on, everyone will be talking about the reason why I’m here. The reason why my family is mourning. When we arrive at the house, Dad, Mom and Krystal are waiting at the door. I put my glasses back in their case, and steadily take my first steps out as Jeffery holds the door.

“Thank you Jeffery” I mumble, to which he answers with a nod. Leaving to park the car in the underground parking lot.

I immediately run to Mom, and hug her. Her bloodshot eyes telling the world that she’s been crying. Tears spill, as my mother holds me, and I bury my face in her shoulder. She rubs my back, and whispers comforting things. Before she lets go, she kisses my cheek and tells me that she’s missed me and that she loves me. I turn to my little sister, who sniffling. I hold her while we both cry softly, feeling protective of the little girl in my arms.

“Nichan…Nichkhun…” She whimpers.

"I know, I know" I murmur, trying to soothe her.

It hurts.

“I-I missed y-you s-s-so much” She sobs.

“I missed you too” I her hair, as I pull away.

I finally meet my father’s steady gaze. No red face, no tears, no shaky hands. Just grief stricken eyes and an aura of complete and utter sorrow.

Oh God Daddy.

“Appa” I whisper, my voice cracking as I stand before him.

He hugs me, and I sob into his chest. He doesn’t say anything, he just holds me. I turn into the little girl from long ago, that he used to hold and comfort.

“It hurts, it really hurts” I snivel.

He just pulls out a handkerchief, and wipes my tears away. Slowly, I calm down. He smiles softly at me, and sighs.

“Everything will be fine” He assures me, giving me a peck on the forehead.

I sniffle a little, still trembling. But no more tears falling.

“No one likes to see their daughter cry, and no one can handle a beautiful woman crying” He says, nodding to behind me.

I turn and find them all, standing there with lowered heads. No one looking up, hands together behind the backs. My father takes a few steps forward, watching the boys before him with a small smile.

“You can all look now, Hayley isn’t blubbering anymore” He chuckles.

I scowl at him, but let it slide. Super Junior stands up straight and tall, taking in the scene.

“You are all here to mourn with us, because you have been Hayley’s family for a while. I thank you all, for looking after my daughter, then and now. For the duration of you stay, you will live here in the guest bedrooms. I hope you find your stay here comfortable and not too sad” Dad speaks formally.

My eyes flutter to Donghae, who’s staring at me. Some sort of expression I can’t decipher on his face, I avert my eyes.

Even now.
While I am consumed by grief.
You’re making my heart yearn for you.
Doubling the pain I already feel.

“Let’s all go inside” Mom sounds, walking inside with Krystal.

We go to the sitting room, where tea is served along with little snacks.

“You all must be hungry” Mom laughs lightly, as we watch our guests eating.

They’re not eating as much as they usually would.
But only I know that.

Krystal goes to her room, saying she wants to take a nap. Soon Mom follows saying she would like to rest as well.

Personally, I think we should all just sleep for a while.

“I had maps of the house made for you all” Dad walks in, shuffling the papers around.

A few jaws drop and I face palm myself.

“You’re going to overwhelm them…” I sigh.

“What?” Dad whines.

“Never mind” I huff.

“Is the house…really that big?” Sungmin asks, hesitating a little.

“Well…Hayley’s friends still get lost here sometimes….” Dad trails off.

“Wow” Kyuhyun breathes.

“On each of your maps it should tell you whose bedrooms are whose…and if you guys want anything just ask Hayley or one of the staff. The staff should call you all when meals are ready, etcetera. And your luggage has been placed in your rooms already…”  He carries on.

“Outdoor swimming pool, indoor swimming pool, pool house, tree house, first garden, tennis courts, second garden…” Leeteuk murmurs to himself.

I knew this would be overwhelming.

Ugh.

“I suggest you all retire to your rooms for now, I’m sure you’re all very tired” My father says, leaving the room.

“Hayley, it’s as if you’re a movie character living in a place like this!” Kangin exclaims.

“How did you…manage to adjust to our house from this house?” Ryeowook tone awkward.

“I have no idea” I chuckle, before standing up.

“Come on, you heard my Dad. Let’s go”

We all walk up stairs, I show them to the east wing, where the guest bedrooms are situated.

And my bedroom.

Everyone goes into their rooms, except Donghae.

“Aren’t you going to go to your room?” I ask, confused.

“Why are you holding it in?”

“Huh?”

“Why are you holding all the pain in?” He takes a few steps forward.

I blink a few times, and bite my lip. Removing my gloves from my hands, fiddling with them.

“It hurts”

“I know it does, but you shouldn’t bottle it up”

I close my eyes, knowing that if I keep them open they’re going to leak.

“I won’t bottle it up” I say, hushed tone.

“I don’t believe you” His tone hard.

“I-I will” I croak.

“Really?”

I nod, not trusting my own voice anymore. Knowing that I’m lying, saying I’ll let it out. Knowing that my eyes, my voice, my body, will all betray me.

“Hayley open your eyes” Donghae whispers, his breath cool against my forehead.

“Hajima” I choke.

“Hayley…”

“Hajima!” I plea, my eyes flinging open. Tears right on the rim, ready to fall.

I’m shaking, as I look up at that beautiful, pained face.

Why do you look so sad?

“It’ll get better” He sweetly says, honest, true.

“How will my heart that hurts this much be healed so easily?” I argue, becoming mad.

He takes a step back, startled.

“You still cry for your Dad! Your heart still hurts! How is this supposed to get better?” I sob, hot, angry tears streaming down my face.

I don’t know what his expression is meant to say, but it looks hurt. Deeply wounded. But right now, the man I love isn’t making me feel better. He’s only adding to the heartache. Heartache for my brother’s deaths. Heartache for the man in front of me.

I can’t take it.

“I’m sorry” He murmurs, before spinning on his heels and walking into his room.

Why is his room right next to mine?

I retreat to my bedroom, throwing myself on the bed.
Screaming into my pillows.
Crying an ocean, soaking the fabric.
Kicking my legs against the mattress, mad, hurt, sad…a mixture of emotions too complex to describe in a simple few words.
Shaking uncontrollably, my fists clenching at the bed sheets tightly.
Eyes shut, I bite down hard on my lip. Drawing blood.
Bitter taste, awful place.
Tortured, the pain ugly and growing.

I can’t deal with these two heartaches.

“The history of my unrequited love for you goes on, so is it wrong to wish this agonizing love away?” I mutter.

Donghae’s POV

“I didn’t mean to make you cry” I lean against my bedroom door.

It hurts to see people I care for in pain.
But, why is it that when I see you Hayley, in pain, I nearly lose control?

I just wanted you to let it out, to not think you have to be strong.
But instead, I made you mad.
And I made you cry.
You should be crying, but it shouldn’t be because of me.

I slide down to the floor, my back still against the door. My hand goes over my heart, which is beating at an incredible speed.

“Why does it hurt so much?”

No POV

That day, no one genuinely smiled. No genuine laughter was exchanged. They were exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically.

Everyone was hurt in somehow.

The Jung Family, because the people that died were close to their hearts.
Super Junior, because they could see the effect these deaths were having on Hayley.
Donghae, because the sight of Hayley’s pain was excruciating for him.
Hayley, because her two heartaches were magnified that day.

Everyone.

That night, it rained heavily in San Francisco, a peaceful lullaby that made all drift off to sleep.

Hayley’s POV

I grabbed a piece of paper, and scribbled my message on it. Quickly slipping it under Donghae’s door, before the sun rises. I run back to my room, hopping back under the covers.

It’s weird.
I haven’t had a room to myself in a while.
It seems sort of…empty.
Without you.

Donghae’s POV

Waking up alone, in a room I’ve never slept in before, I sigh. It just doesn’t feel right. I stand up and walk to the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth. I throw on a white v-neck and a pair of jeans, not knowing what I should wear around here.

Most people speak English here too.

As I’m about to open the door, I notice something on the ground. I squat down, and pick up the piece of paper.

‘I’m sorry for yesterday, I didn’t mean it. Don’t be mad. Friends again arasso? – Hayley’

I feel a grin creep onto my face, and bite my lip.

“Silly girl, I’ve never been mad at you”

Hayley’s POV

The doorbell rings and at the same time I go down to answer it, one of the maids beats me to it.

“Who is it?” I ask, walking towards her.

“I don’t know young mistress, it would seem that someone has left a bouquet at the doorstep” She answers, handing me a bouquet of roses in the darkest shade of red I’ve ever seen.

It could almost pass off for black.

I open the envelope up, and find a card along with a smaller envelope inside. I read the card first.

‘The Kim Family offers their deepest sympathies for your loss’

I shrug, having expected something like that and put the bouquet and the first letter down. The second envelope is addressed to…

Me?

Why is this addressed to…me?

I open it up and read.

‘I’ll see you soon Jung Hayley – Lee Min Ho (Kim Min Ho)’

I shudder upon reading that, remembering the affect that guy has on me.

“Why did he send me this?” I grumble, hiding the letter in my blazer pocket.

Mr. Jung’s (Hayley’s Dad’s) POV

I lock the door to my office, and dial the number into my phone. Sighing heavily before the person on the other line picks up.

“Hello?”

“It’s me” I answer flatly.

“Ahh…I see. I’m sorry to hear about you sons”

“Thank you for your kind words. I’ve called to tell you something”

“Okay, go on”

“I have reconsidered, and wish for the deal to stand” I sigh.

“Ahh…yes”

“Is the offer still open?”

“Well, I said I would give you 2 weeks didn’t I? So it’s completely fine. Just out of curiosity, what made you change your mind?” He asks smugly.

“You know exactly why I’ve changed my mind” I growl.

“Yes, I do. But I’ve always wanted to hear it” He says, his smile being heard through his words.

“I changed my mind, because my heir has changed”

“Good” He chuckles, amused.

“Goodbye” I say, in a calm tone. Trying to hold back my anger.

“Goodbye” He says, before hanging up.

I’m sorry.

Writer's Notes:

I actually cried while writing parts of this. I know that it isn't that good and that I am probably the only one that cried...but in my head it was very emotional.
Who was that on the phone?
What's happening next?
Well actually you all know what's happening next...

Lots of Love,

xoxoxoxo *coughs* EXO K *coughs* ;D

HEARTACHES & MikaMikaChu <3