Missing You Like Crazy

Myungsoo was waiting for his group’s turn to perform when he heard her voice from the stage. He unknowingly smiled brightly when he saw her, performing her heart out.  His chocolate brown eyes sparkled as they watched her, singing and dancing to her group’s new song “Electric Shock”.

His eyes stayed on her the whole time. He didn’t even care that people could be watching. He smiled as she gave a soft smirk to the crowd. She has always been beautiful in Myungsoo’s eyes since the moment he first laid eyes on her. Myungsoo was overjoyed seeing her after a long time apart.

Dongwoo tapped Myungsoo’s shoulder, switching Myungsoo’s attention onto him. Myungsoo looked at Dongwoo as he gave Myungsoo a knowing smirk as his eyes swayed from Myungsoo to Amber. Myungsoo wasn’t that secretive about his longing to see Amber from his group. Myungsoo just stood there, not denying it. Kim Myungsoo misses Amber Liu and he didn’t care if the whole world knows about it.

He remembered the first time they met. It was brief but that moment changed Myungsoo. He was drawn by Amber’s beauty and personality. She was different from any other girls he knew. He didn’t know why, but she became someone special in his heart. From her smile to her sweet laughter, he fell in love with her and all he knows was that she made him smile like no other person.

It has been a year since they met. It has been almost six months since they had their first date.

Myungsoo turned his attention back to her. The song was coming to an end and he saw that she and the rest of F(x) was bowing, saying thanks to the crowds and to their fans. Myungsoo’s smile the entire time, especially to Amber’s smile.

People around him was wondering why he was smiling like a fool, even his manager was looking at him, wondering what was going on. The manager even asked Sunggyu, but Sunggyu couldn’t give a clear answer and nudged Dongwoo to tell Myungsoo to get it together.

No one except the members knows of their relationship. Sunggyu stated in the beginning that he doesn’t want to know but he found out anyway. An idiot could put two and two together and figure it out easily. They were that obvious about their feelings.

Myungsoo understood the risk his actions would cause, not just him but for her as well. He also knows Sunggyu like the rest of Infinite, doesn’t want Amber to get hurt because of him since before she became his girlfriend, she is their dear friend first.

He knows he needed be careful around her but he can’t help it. Whenever he sees her, his heart explodes with happiness. He loves her so much and just wants to be near her.

Amber is better at it than he is, controlling her feelings when they are together in public. Sometime she’s too good, causing Myugnsoo to wonder if he loves her more than she does about him.

But Myungsoo knows he was thinking too much about it because when Amber smiles at him, he knows then that he’s an idiot to ever question such a thing.

Amber grabbed hold of Victoria and Krystal’s hand as they bowed to the crowds. She smiled as Luna said their thanks through the mic one more time. They bowed again and began to turn backstage. Amber was holding her mic as she tried to take off her earpiece. Amber was behind the rest of her members when her eyes glanced toward him, as he stood beside the stage, waiting with the rest of s. She noticed that he was staring at her the entire time. She stared back, and when they eyes met, her heart started to beat rapidly. She gave him a sweet smile, displaying her desire to hug him.

Myungsoo was exploding with happiness when he saw her smile. His eyes sparkled as he brightly returned the sweetest smile that Amber has ever saw.

Amber wanted to run toward him and embrace herself in his presence but she controlled herself and took the longest walk she ever had her in her life toward him.

It has been a long time since she saw him. A long time since they talk in person. Phone call and text messages wasn’t the same when they actually meet.

Both of them were busied doing promotion with their groups that they didn’t have anytime to be alone. It made both of them unhappy but they knew this is their life as idols, the life they dreamed long before they met.

Their eyes never swayed away from each other as Amber walked toward him. He stepped forward, being drawn by her presence but one look from Sunggyu, who was watching him carefully, made Myungsoo stopped halfway. He looked at Amber and told her through his eyes he can’t come any closer. He hates it but he understands this is what his life is about. He can’t show affections to Amber without causing a scandal, without hurting her in the process, and without bringing his group down.

Amber stopped when she saw the message. She was hurt but understood the reason why. Amber just continued to walk passed him. She held in her saddness as she linked arm with Sulli when she approached her members. Amber laughed at something Luna said but her mind was somewhere else. Amber glanced back to Myungsoo and watched him until he disappeared into the stage.

Myungsoo’s eyes stayed on her until she was gone from his sight. He sighed, lowering his head.

Dongwoo and Hoya saw the whole things. Dongwoo wrapped his arm around Myungsoo’s, comforting him with a warm smile. Myungsoo appreciated his hyungs and smiled to reassure them. They walked toward the stage, grabbing their mics.

Myungsoo rushed out of the stage the moment everyone finished bowing to the crowds. He smiled cheerfully to the fans as they screamed their heart out. He waved happily but in his mind, he wondered if Amber was okay.

He escaped from the rest of the group and wondered to F(x)’s dressing room. He was standing on the other side, watching the door, debating to call her out or not. His mind raced at every POSSIBILITY when someone tapped his shoulder. He looked and saw an ally.

“Oppa, why are you standing here? Amber unni?” She asked, glancing at her group's dressing room. “Want me to get her for you?”

Myungsoo nodded. “I don’t think she would let me see her if I went inside. I think I screw up”

“Oppa, don’t worry if you are worried about what happened earlier don't be. She knows it’s not your fault.”

“Still….”

“Don’t worry. I will get her for you, wait at that staircase over there." Krystal pointed to the staircase at the end of the hall.

“Why are you helping me, Krystal?”

“Don’t you know I am the biggest Myungber shipper out there?” She chuckled with a kind smile.

Myungsoo smiled to her. “I’m lucky to have a big supporter like you on my side.”

“Of course!” She declared in English. “Oh oppa there’s something I need from you if we are doing favors.”

“Okay, name it.”

“Next time barge in and grab a hold of Amber unni.” She stated strongly. “Don’t ever sway when it comes to Unni, okay.”

Myungsoo just nodded at her statement. Krystal jolted into the dressing room as Myungsoo made his way to the staircases Krystal told him to go.

Krystal peeked inside F(x)’s dressing room carefully reading the atmosphere before beginning her mission for Myungsoo. She walked like nothing happened and stood behind Amber, seeing her reading a book.

Amber was trying to read the novel that Myungsoo was telling her about when they talked last time on the phone. As she was reading it, she flashed back to what happened eariler. She knows that she shouldn’t concern herself about it. She’s reading too much into it, causing herself to be sadder than she supposed to be.

She sighed, letting the book down. “Maybe I’m being too much….I just missed him.” She whispered to herself, thinking no one could hear her. Amber reached for her phone on the counter and saw no message from him. Amber sighed again, more sorrowfully than before.

Krystal pouted, feeling depressed, seeing her Unni like this. Krystal suddenly wrapped her arms around Amber. “Unni, there’s a place I want to show you. Can you come with me?”

Amber jumped from Krystal’s hug. “A place? Where?”

“Just a place.”

“Do you need me to be middle person for you and Minho, don’t you?”

Krystal quickly denied that. “No! Can’t you just follow me and not ask questions.” Krystal retorted back, pulling Amber from her seat.

Amber stared at Krystal, trying to figure out what Krystal was scheming this time. Amber glanced at her book and sighed. Maybe walking around would be good for her. “Okay.” Krystal smiled brightly to Amber’s answer, clapping her hands together happily.

Amber followed Krystal, not asking many questions about the location that she was being drag to but instead spit out questions about Krystal and Minho.

Krystal denied it as usual, stating. “Nothing is going on with me and Minho oppa.Unni trust me, you will be the first, after Jessica unni of course, if I have a boyfriend, I will tell you.”

“That’s what I told you about me and Myungsoo seven months ago…” Amber responded back to Krystal’s answer.

Krystal glanced back at her unni. “That is not the same.”

“If you say so but…” Before Amber could continue her response, She stopped seeing Kim Myungsoo standing against the railing of the staircase.

Krystal spotted him as well. she responded in full acting mode. “Omo, look Unni, Myungsoo oppa is here as well.” Krystal pulled Amber closer toward Myungsoo as he approached the two girls. He smiled sweetly at Amber.

Amber looked at him and saw a mutual eye exchange between him and Krystal.

Amber pulled Krystal toward her and whispered. “Yah, you planned this didn’t you!”

Krystal smirked happily as she denied such a thing to Amber. “Unni...Oppa, since you two are here, why don’t I give you space to talk.” Krystal waved goodbye to them and skipped off quickly before Amber could do something.

Myungsoo and Amber exhanged glances before Myungsoo took the courage to talk first.

“Don’t blame Krystal too much.” He stated, walking closer to Amber. “I needed to see you and I knew you wouldn’t come out if I called you. I’m scared that you hate me for what happened.”

“Why would you think I hate you?”

“Because we haven’t seen each other in such a long time and…” He moved his hand slowly, toward her cheek. His touch always make Amber feel weak in the knees.

“And?” She spoke in a soft voice, as her eyes sparkled when she gazed at Myungsoo.

“I’m jerk for being too busy….too tired….too weak…I hate that I can’t do this more often than I should.” Myung entwined his hands with Ambers. “I wish I was strong enough to protect you.”

Amber suddenly embraced Myungsoo, surprising him as well as her. “Babo, I don’t need big gestures, I just need you and…I can just stare at you from the distance, and know that bright sweet smile is because of me……it is because of me right?”

Myungsoo chukcled. “Of course who else can make me smile like a fool?”

“Don’t know if I should take that as a compliment.”

“It’s a compliment, Amber.” He grinned blissfully as he hugged Amber back, squeezing her in his arms. He loves having Amber in his arms. Her warmth always comforts Myungsoo. “Hey, I don’t think I told you this before but you have a beautiful voice.”

“You only figure that out now.”

“It’s not like you sang to me before….” He replied. Amber pulled herself away Myungsoo’s embrace and looked at him.

“I sang to you.”

Myungsoo shook his head. “I think I would remember hearing my girlfriend’s beautiful voice…” Myungsoo stated teasingly.

“I thought I did….” Amber started digging in her memories. She felt she was positive she sang to Myungsoo.

Myungsoo could see this was eating Amber up. “Hey, you don’t have to stress yourself out about it.”

“But….” Amber really thought she sang to Myungsoo or was that someone else. Now she was upset at herself for bringing up a fondly memory that doesn’t have anything to do with her boyfriend. She looked at him, and wondered if he knows it wasn’t him she was preferring to.

“Does it matter when I heard it or not? I’m hearing it now, and I have to say I wish I could hear it more. You’re voice really soothes me.”

“Really? People say it’s weird and I should stick to rapping.”

“Then those people are idiot. I even have your part as my ringtone.” Myungsoo confessed with a cute smile.

Amber looked with disblief. “Why?”

“Why not, it’s beautifully sang by the most y, adorable sweetest girl ever.”

Amber just chuckled at his statement. “What? y?”

“You don’t think of yourself as y?” Amber shook her head. y definitely doesn’t fall under her who she is. She’s a tomboy and she understands the adorable sweet part, but y? Sometime she thinks Myungsoo would describes a stranger that isn’t her at all.

“Well I think you’re y.” He smirked, leaning into a kiss her but was interrupted when Dongwoo bursted through, opening the doorway of the staircase.

“Oh my, I didn’t…..um…..sorry!!!” Dongwoo covered his eyes like an innocent child.

Myungsoo leaned away from Amber, as Amber blushed a bright crismon red.Myungsoo gave Dongwoo the evil eye as Amber lowered her head, not wanting to have eye contact with Dongwoo. She was mortified getting caught having a kiss with….Myungsoo cleared his throat awkwardly. Dongwoo carefully peeked through his hands and saw it was safe.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt but Myungsoo, we were looking for you. it’s time to go…….” Dongwoo glanced over to Amber and saw that she was becoming uncomfortable with his presence. “Amber it’s good to see you. You were amazing on stage, truly, this kid” Dongwoo pointed at Myungsoo. “Couldn’t stop staring at you……” He chuckled to ease the awkwardness. “Anyway Myungsoo just come down soon, OKAY?” Dongwoo excused himself, stepping back through the doorway, closing the door to give the couple a minute alone.

“That wasn’t awkward at all.” Myungsoo chuckled.

Amber smiled back. “We should go….they must be searching for us.” Amber began to turn to the doorway Dongwoo left when Myungsoo grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a hug.

“Sorry, I just wanted to hold you one more time before we depart. Let’s stay like this for a good minute, then we can continue our idol’s duties.”

Amber nodded to his request, knowing that she will not see him for a while. She tightly squeezed her arms around his waist, embracing his presence in her memories. They were going to part again. Sometime at these moments, Amber wishes she was just a normal girl and not an idol.

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