-Jaejoong POV-

There he was again sitting in a bar, in a corner where no one could see nor recognize him easily, hidden in the darkness of the club’s light, drinking his Vodka like there would be no tomorrow, stucked in his own depressing thoughts, missing his beloved one. ‘What would my fans think if they would see me like that, the famous Kim Jaejoong becoming so depressed because of one single person’, he thought to himself, chuckling bitterly. And the person turning him like this was no one else then Jung Yunho, his former band member. Of course he didn’t look at it like there would ever be a ‘former’, he looked at it more like JYJ was a subgroup of Dong Bang Shin Ki, but that’s not what some fans seem to think nowadays.
Sighing he gave the barkeeper a sign that he wanted another shot which he gave him. While looking down at his hands, which were lying on the table, he couldn’t help but to keep his eyes locked on his ring. Slowly he slipped it from his finger, playing with it and looking at the gravure it had on the inside, there it was, a simple ‘Forever’ and a ‘YJ’ behind it. Slowly he remembered how Yunho had given the ring to him on their first anniversary and how he had the exact same ring. He still remembered how excited he had been about them having their first anniversary but knowing that they wouldn’t be able to spend it properly together since they had schedule that same day. Somehow Yunho still was able to make it a special day when they were just standing on the balcony of their dorm late at night, cuddling while enjoying their time together and he suddenly slipped the ring on his finger. A bitter smile crept on Jaejoong’s face while remembering all these, when suddenly his phone started vibrating, cutting of his thoughts just to show him that he got a text message, again.
On the display it showed Yoochun’s name. Even though he knew what the text would say, he opened it anyway. ‘Where the hell are you and why aren’t you answering our calls? Is it because of him again? We’re worried over here, you know? Don’t do anything stupid.’ it said and another sigh escaped the lips of the beautiful man. He knew s would be worried, he knew they were just trying to keep his thoughts away from what was bringing him down but today he just wanted to be alone and let exactly these thoughts hunt him, because  today was a special day for him, it was their anniversary. He closed the text message without even thinking about replying just to scroll through his old ones, when he suddenly found the last message he got from Yunho.

From: Yunho
 5^th January 2011, 01:53 am

I’m sorry.

Reading these few words broke his heart again.  He got that message the exact same day “Keep your head down” got released. Of course he knew that they were going to work with SME again, but on the inside he hoped that the two of them would somehow change their minds. It didn’t even hurt him that they were working under the name Dong Bang Shin Ki again, no, it was the exact opposite he felt grateful that they were protecting their name. What actually hurt him the most was that from that day on he never heard anything of the other two members. Yeah he had read all the news, but he meant personally. No phone call, no text message even though Yunho had promised that they would keep the contact, that nothing could break them apart, not even this lawsuit, no matter how hard it would be.  And here he was sitting alone in a bar, drinking his sorrows away on their anniversary. He send thousand messages to Yunho over this whole year but never got an answer to one of them, he desperately tried to contact him. Damn it, he even had annoyed Changmin with text messages and calls but he hadn’t answered either. Of course he could imagine the reasons behind all of this, their manager wouldn’t allow them to contact one of the other 3 members, because they would find out anyway.
He never wanted to believe what the words ‘I’m sorry’ really meant. I’m sorry, I won’t be able to contact you anymore. I’m sorry, I do have to let go. I’m sorry, I can’t keep my promise… 
Tzz, how stupid he was, pretending and believing that they could have been still together after all of this.

Taking the glass in his hand, he drunk the liquor in one shot. The feeling of the liquor burning in his throat always made him feel better, like it could take away all his sorrows. After that he opened a new text message. Typing in two simple words, which could give away all his feelings: ‘You promised.’ He stared at these words for a long time.  Should he send it, he asked himself. What would turn out of it anyway? Just more days hoping for an answer, but being disappointed again? Being depressive even more, when there’s no answer coming? Seeing the members worry about him even more? Having to pretend like he’s okay in front of everyone? He shook his head, restraining a bitter laugh when he realized that the last one was something he was doing anyway. But no, he didn’t want anything like this to happen; especially he didn’t want s to worry more, giving them more burden than they have to carry anyway.
Another depressing thought came up in his mind. Did Yunho even know that it was their anniversary today? Of course he would, right? It was their anniversary after all so it was special for him too, right? Well, after all the rumours Yunho had with Go Ara lately he wasn’t so sure anymore, but he knew better than to believe everything he heard. Giving another sign to the barkeeper for a shot he slowly deleted the words again, letter after letter. Putting the phone back into his pocket he downed the drink, grabbed some money out of his purse and left it on the table. He took his jacket and started to leave the bar.

Just when he passed by a table of a few men, he felt a pair of eyes staring at him intensely. He just shrugged it off, thinking it would be either some people recognizing him or they were some creepy erts. And with that thought in his mind he started walking faster, out of the club.