“Kevin, I know this is totally wrong…” Hoon said pulling Kevin by the twist as he stepped out of Hoon’s apartment.

“What’s wrong, Hoon?” Kevin turned around to face Hoon asking him concernedly.

“I love you, Kevin.” Hoon said hugging Kevin tightly.

Kevin’s body stiffened at the touch. His mind couldn’t function properly. He already had a boyfriend, Soohyun, who was in the army for two and a half years. Hoon knew about that. To be exact, every member of UKISS and their parents knew about that. They had been dating for five and a half years, even before Hoon joined the group. They had been always happy and flirting everywhere, of course not in front of Kissme’s. For fanservices, Kevin was supposed to be with Eli or Kiseop, Soohyun was with Dongho and Hoon was with Jaeseop, also known as AJ. But sometimes, the boys just couldn’t control their feelings so they carelessly revealed the true couples. Because of that, the fans had some rare moments of them, Soovin, 2seop, Eldong. As could be seen, they all had their partners except for Hoon. He had always stood from afar and watched the lovey-dovey couples. He had never shown his true feelings so the other members just told themselves that he was the only straight man in this group. Everything was perfect in its own way. Why did Hoon have to confess? It was obvious that he had been hiding his feelings for Kevin for too long. His weak heart just couldn’t hold those growing feelings anymore. And this moment was when it exploded.

Hoon still held Kevin tight. Tears started to escape his eyes nonstop. Kevin could push him away any second so he had to enjoy this moment fully. Kevin’s warmth wrapped around him. Kevin’s heart pounded furiously against his. Hoon was scared. He was scared that this moment would end very soon. He couldn’t help but cry at the thought. But to his surprise, Kevin’s arms, that used to set loose to his own sides, started to move. They didn’t push him away as he expected. They held Hoon back instead.

Kevin never thought that there would be someday he said those words out. Kevin loved Soohyun. Yeah, he loved Soohyun from the start. Yeah, he loved Soohyun till the end. He never doubted his love for Soohyun. Never. Never until two years around.

At first, Kevin just thought Hoon as a replacement. He didn’t hate him but he didn’t take any interest in him either. Day by day, with the habit of watching everybody’s small behaviors, he could see how hard Hoon tried to do everything. Hoon was always the first person to come to practice room and the last one to come out. Basically he had been a ballad singer. He had to put double or even triple effort in practicing so that he could fit in UKISS, a dance group. Watching him all the time, Kevin slowly opened his heart for Hoon. The distance between them got smaller and smaller. They obviously became good friends. Kevin thought that they would be like that forever. But life was full of the unexpected, wasn’t it?

The day Soohyun went into the army, Kevin instantly turned into a desperate mess. He dropped himself on his knees as the gate of the barrack closed in front of his blurry eyes. Not being able to control his feelings anymore, he cried his heart out. He ignored everyone’s glances, the other members’ advices. He didn’t feel anything but the urge to have Soohyun beside him again. his mind was totally aware that they still had many means such as phones, internet… to keep in touch with each other. But his poor heart just knew that he wouldn’t be able to be hugged by Soohyun’s muscular arms, to be kissed by Soohyun’s tempting lips, to be sung to sleep by Soohyun’s powerful voice… He couldn’t imagine what his life would turn out to be without his love. He wished that he hadn’t existed so that he wouldn’t have suffered this great pain. But then he felt a pair of arms wrapped around his trembling body strongly. He wanted to push them away but he couldn’t. He didn’t know why. Was it because he was too weak to do that? Or was it because he was silently begging for something warm like that? He didn’t care much since he immediately sank into them and everything went black.

Gaining his consciousness again, Kevin opened his heavy eyes to see a sleeping man with his head on the edge of the bed. Kevin turned really slightly but the man still woke up. It turned out that Hoon had brought him from the barrack to Hoon’s apartment. His face was lit up as he saw Kevin move.

“Kevin, you’ve worried me a lot.” Hoon exclaimed.

Kevin slowly reminded of what happened. As a result, his mind stopped at the sight of Soohyun leaving him. Pulling the blanket over his head, he started sobbing again.

“Kevin, please don’t cry. I really don’t know what to do when seeing you crying in front of me…” Hoon pleaded kneeling down next to the bed.    

He grabbed a hold of the soft comfort pulling it slightly just like a five-year kid insisted on his mother to buy him a toy car. Kevin didn’t answer. He just held the material tighter not letting any part of his body be shown. He didn’t want to talk to someone. The only person in this world that he wanted was Soohyun. Just like that, he sobbed till drifting off. Next morning he woke up. The first thing that came into his sight wasn’t Hoon anymore. It was just a breakfast with his message stuck on the lamp. Kevin didn’t feel like eating so he again fell asleep with tears over his pale face. That night he was woken up by no one but Hoon.

“Kevin, you need to eat.” He said tenderly.

One more time, he was ignored completely. The same process continued to replay the next three days. The fifth night, things got worse. Hoon brought a bowl of soup to the bed. He forcefully pulled off the blanket revealing Kevin’s face. This time Kevin didn’t fight back. He sat up straight looking into Hoon’s concerning face.

“You are so annoying!” Kevin screamed pushing the bowl violently.

The hot soup dropped on Hoon’s hand. Luckily it was just a small amount. The bowl flew into the air then fell on the wooden floor broken into many pieces. At first he was really shocked at Kevin’s action but then he felt painful more. He got off of the bed not even caring to cool down the area that there was hot soup. He bent down quietly cleaning up the soup and broken pieces. Unfortunately h was cut by a sharp piece. The burn and the cut were really hurt. However what hurt him more was Kevin’s condition. The boy hadn’t eaten anything or done anything to be exact. Hoon was really worried that Kevin couldn’t survive if things just went on this way. The boy on the bed stared the other constantly. His heart clench tightly. He had no reason to act so cruelly to the other. All Hoon did was just show him how much he cared about him. and all he received was being treated coldly, frustratingly and heartbrokenly. Unknowingly he thought about Soohyun again. Soohyun always stayed by his side whenever he felt bad or sick. He would sing, tell jokes, narrate fairy tales, cook some delicious dishes…, do anything to get Kevin’s mood lit up. Blaming himself on thinking about those sweet times, Kevin angrily lied down covering his whole body with the blanket.

The seventh day had come. Kevin didn’t even bother to wake up. Hoon couldn’t bear this any longer. He knew he had to do something to stop this right away. Hoon slammed open the door to the room where Kevin was sleeping. He violently shook the sleepy boy to wake him up.

“Kevin! We need to talk!” Hoon screamed.

“What?” Kevin annoyingly yawned.

“It’s been a week!” Hoon said reminded the other of how long he hadn’t eaten.

“So what?” Kevin asked nonchalantly.

“You don’t know what you are doing!” Hoon twisted his fist trying to be calm.

“Of course I know what I’m doing.” Kevin smirked mockingly.

“Don’t act like that to me!” Hoon yelled losing his temper.

“Why? You don’t have the right to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do! This is my life. I can do whatever I want to. Even kill myself!” Kevin spilled out.

Hearing those careless words, Hoon got really angry. Unexpectedly he raised his hand slapping the other boy on the face. Kevin was completely shocked by Hoon’s act. Hoon was always nice, tender and caring to anyone. Why did he hit him? Kevin held his burning cheek looking at Hoon indignantly.

“What the hell have you just done?” Kevin asked with his high voice.

“This is your life, huh? Do you need me to remind you something? Your parents gave birth to you. You have a contract with NH Media. You have a duty of being a member of UKISS. You have a future of being another half of Soohyun. So stop talking that irresponsibly! And get to do your duties!” Hoon poured out everything he could think of.

Kevin looked down at the floor. His eyes were filled with tears. Shame swallowed him entirely. How could he act that childishly all the time? Hoon himself was shocked by his own action and words. He noticed there was water on the floor. And he was sure that it was Kevin’s tears. He quickly approached the other cupping his face. Forcing Kevin to look up, he clumsily wiped away the stained tears on his hollow cheeks.

“Kevin, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you…” Hoon stuttered.

“It’s okay. It’s my fault after all. I should be the one to apologize. I’m sorry, really sorry, Hoon.” Kevin said while sobbing.

His knees went limp as he dropped himself. He tugged on Hoon’s pants. His shoulders trembled from emotions.

“It’s all my fault. I have been so troublesome. I have made everyone worried. I know Soohyun is just away for three years. But I can’t… I can’t help but feel depressed. Soohyun and I have always been together for 24/7 in three years already. His warmth never left me for one moment. Living without him is so hard, Hoon…” Kevin poured his heart out.

Hoon slowly sat down. Watching Kevin being like that hurt him so much. But somehow he felt relieved as well. Kevin had finally realized his mistake. Hoon hoped that he would correct his mistake and come back to normal life soon. He hugged Kevin lightly smiling at himself at the thought.

“It’s good that you can realize that. But don’t you think that Soohyun won’t ever want to see you like this, blaming yourself, hurting yourself? He would be really worried and hurt if he knew your condition now. And not only Soohyun, everybody is worried about you. You have to get better so that you won’t disappoint anyone, alright?” Kevin nodded as Hoon his hair tenderly.

“Soohyun and you love each other a lot. So don’t let this little thing block your way. Through this difficulty, I believe your love will grow much, much stronger.” Hoon encouraged softly making Kevin feel more touching. He sniffled into Hoon’s shirt then mumbled a quiet “sorry”.

Since then, Kevin had gradually come back to his life which meant smiling, chatting, hanging out with friends, getting ready for UKISS comeback…  all the time. Reminding of UKISS, since Soohyun, the leader, was gone, Hoon secretly put on his shoulders the pressure which used to be Soohyun’s. Although Kiseop, Eli and AJ were older than him, Kiseop and Eli were still childish while AJ was really busy with his study and composition. Hoon took care of everything and everyone in UKISS without being noticeable much. He was happy that he could help Soohyun when he wasn’t here. But the pressure wasn’t small. It bleed him dry but he also had to hide his exhaustion from everyone. They could get really worried if they saw him tired. But for Kevin, being the leader’s lover for more than three years, he knew that all. He remembered when Soohyun was still here. Just by a moment Soohyun lowered his head, scrunched up his nose, frowned his eyebrows…, Kevin could tell how Soohyun felt then. And this time, with Hoon, the unofficial leader, Kevin still had that ability. He always came to Hoon bringing him some juice or food during their breaks. Sometimes, he cooked some meals and waited for Hoon to eat together at Hoon’s apartment because in the time Kevin recovered from the departure of Soohyun at his home, he had the keys to this place. At the weekends, he often asked Hoon out for some coffee or shopping. Kevin really appreciated Hoon for helping him get over that difficult time. And Hoon really appreciated Kevin for his care and concern. Time passed by, Kevin was finally used to living without Soohyun.

In the army, Soohyun could phone once a month. The first month he called his boyfriend. The second month he called his group. The third month he called his family. And the same process was carried on for the whole three years. Whenever Soohyun called, Kevin would cry in happiness or giggle during their conversations. Those times, Kevin, who was usually a chatterbox, seemed to be a listener more. Although he wanted to tell Soohyun a lot of things, he would prefer Soohyun to talk more. He loved Soohyun’s voice. He loved how enthusiastically or maybe mournfully Soohyun told about his army life. To make it simpler, he loved everything from the other man. He knew too well that he would never stop loving him.

However things weren’t as simple as they looked like. Kevin’s love for Soohyun was undeniable. But deep inside his heart, something was growing slowly, unnoticeably but yet it still existed. Hoon was everywhere in Kevin’s life, at the company, in the practice room, at their houses… Amongst them, the most dangerous place was in Kevin’s heart and mind. If he didn’t think about his family or their activities, his mind would certainly wander to Soohyun and Hoon’s images. For some reasons, Kevin cared about Hoon so much. Just thinking about that bunny, he could smile or frown alone. He really wanted to spend time with Hoon more and more. Soon he found out that his feelings for Hoon were very strange but yet familiar because he had felt them somewhere before. He was panicked at the discovery. He tried his best to deny them every day. That drove him insane. He couldn’t feel that way about two men at the same time, could he? That was impossible. And if it was possible, it would be unacceptable.

Not wanting those feelings grow even more, Kevin pushed Hoon away from him. The same pain he had suffered when Soohyun was gone continued to torture him again this time. The emptiness filled his heart. He hated that. To be exact, he was scared of that. Eventually he gave up. He let himself sink into Hoon’s warmth and care. Till the end, he had to accept that he loved Soohyun but he also fell for Hoon. His feelings for Hoon were real, not some kinds of the need of warmth when Soohyun wasn’t around. They were the same with ones he had with Soohyun. His heart was sure about that. And they were growing stronger and stronger day by day.

Anyway Kevin no more denied his love for Hoon but he didn’t tend to confess either. It might be the best solution for three of them. Just like that, he kept his relationship with Hoon as best friends, nothing more, at least in front of everyone including Hoon. Kevin didn’t think that Hoon had the same feelings for him. He didn’t expect that Hoon would confess his love to him. The only fragile border Kevin built to separate them was easily broken under Hoon’s strong hold and honest confession. He lost himself into the moment and allowed his feelings to be spoken out naturally. Hiding his love was so hard for Kevin. For the last time, he let his guard down and let everything flow its way.

“Hoon, I… I think that I love you too…” Kevin whispered. His voice was muffled as he buried his head into Hoon’s firm chest.

Finally Kevin had confessed his love to Hoon. They hugged each other tightly for an endless moment. Their fresh tears were streaming down their faces unstoppably. At least, fate let them enjoy the delicate happiness and be carefree about the results of this love for now.

After that, Kevin told Hoon about his complicated feelings towards Soohyun and Hoon in the hope that Hoon could accept that. The bunny, being the late comer, accepted everything Kevin said. Just a little love Kevin dispensed him already satisfied him. So the fact that Kevin loved him like he loved Soohyun drove him beyond happiness. He couldn’t ask for more. Actually he had to stop this love since Kevin still loved the real leader so much. But he was too selfish to do that. He wanted to keep Kevin in his arms as long as possible. Since then they started dating secretly. For some unknown reasons, they never mentioned Soohyun in their conversations. Although they were really happy together, pain and guilt were eating them gradually.

Kevin almost moved into Hoon’s apartment. He just couldn’t bear living in his own house as Soohyun existed in every corner in that house. He appeared on the couch in the living room, beside the stove in the kitchen, in front of the mirror in the bathroom, between the blankets in the bedroom… Kevin couldn’t stand that. He wanted to have a rest in his current boyfriend’s embrace. Kevin also cruelly deleted every song that had Soohyun’s voice. He didn’t try to forget Soohyun completely since he knew that was useless. But at least, it bought him some comfort for his tired brain and poor heart whose blood was dripping. Soohyun’s beautiful just made him feel guiltier and guiltier. It reminded him that he was cheating on his true love with another true love. That sounded ridiculous but that was really what Kevin was suffering from.

About Hoon, he knew too well how fragile this love was and how painful Kevin felt. That hurt him so much. One night, he saw Kevin received a phone call from his still love. Kevin didn’t giggle like other times. Instead he found a reason to hang up as quickly as he could. He threw his phone harshly on the bed then ran into the bathroom. He was definitely crying his eyes out. Hoon approached the bed picking u his boyfriend’s phone. He had to do something……

“Soohyun is back. Don’t you want to see him, Kevin?”

“No. Don’t talk about him to me!”

“He loves you so much, Kevin.”

“Be quiet!”

 “He is waiting for you now, Kevin.”

“Stop talking!”

 “He has always been so nice to you Kevin,”

“Shut up!”

 “He has never done anything that might hurt you, Kevin.”

“That’s enough…”

 “He has forgiven every mistake you made, Kevin.”

“Please, don’t…”

 “He can’t live without you, Kevin.”

“Stop…”

“So you have decided to be with Hoon, haven’t you? Kevin?”

“……”

Kevin can’t stand his mind anymore. He pushes his face deep into the soft pillow. His trembling hands cover his ears tightly. Today Soohyun is discharged from the military duty. It’s been six month since they last met each other when Soohyun was allowed to visit his home. It’s also been six months since that sinful love began… Kevin can’t live like this anymore. He has to end this relationship. It should be Hoon or Soohyun. He has to choose but he doesn’t either know how or want to do that. He knows he can’t face any of them like this. But picking one is impossible. He is too greedy to make a decision. And no matter what his decision is, it will hurt all of them. If he hadn’t decide to satisfy his need with Hoon, things wouldn’t have been this complicated and miserable. But if things hadn’t gone that way, it would have been so cruel and unfair to Hoon and Kevin’s heart. In this moment, everything has already happened. There is no time to regret or to blame. It is high time to deal with this…

Soohyun stands still in front of the gate waiting for someone. The other members have already left but he insisted on staying here. He is sure that his love will come no matter what. Under the dazzling sunlight, Kevin appears. All the uncomfortable feelings from the surroundings seem to subside at his appearance. Soohyun’s lips form a sweet smile. He knows that Kevin will come. As can be seen from many Korean dramas, he would run into his lover and hug him with all his might after a long time they haven’t seen each other. But Soohyun won’t do that. He knows Kevin needs time to get ready. His mind always gets straight after taking a walk.

Finally Kevin approaches Soohyun who is opening his arms wide. The slim boy throws his body into his lover’s embrace for a brief second then separates immediately.

“Welcome back Soohyun.” Kevin mumbles.

“I miss you so much, Kev.” Soohyun says softly.

“We need to talk.” Kevin says gathering all his guts to.

“What is that?” Soohyun asks caressing the other’s cheek.

“Don’t touch me!” Kevin says taking a step back.

“Why? We are lovers. So I can touch you, can’t I?” Soohyun asks tilting his head.

“We won’t anymore after I say about this.” Kevin says looking down shamefully.

Soohyun doesn’t reply. He keeps silent paying attention to what Kevin is going to speak.

“Soohyun, actually I have been cheating on you with Hoon for six months. Please break up with me. I don’t deserve to be your boyfriend.” Kevin almost screams. His entire body shivers then goes limp. He sits back on his haunches.

Soohyun hasn’t reacted yet. But he looks strangely calm. After a while, he slowly sits down in front of Kevin. Pulling Kevin tenderly, he rests his lover’s head in his chest.

“Why do I need to break up with you?” he asks softly.

“Because I am a bad boyfriend. And you are too good for me.” Kevin answers sobbing uncontrollably.

“Who says you are a bad boyfriend? That person is totally wrong.” Soohyun says lovingly.

“But I am. I am not loyal with you.” Kevin retorts tugging onto Soohyun’s shirt. He knows he shouldn’t do that. He doesn’t deserve to be in this man’s warm arms. But he can’t help himself.

“I don’t need a loyal servant. I need someone that loves me. Do you love me, Kev? And I need your honest answer.” Soohyun asks his love’s silky hair.

“Of course I love you, Soohyun.” Kevin replies truly. No matter what happens, he won’t ever lie to anyone that he doesn’t love that gorgeous man.

“That is enough for me, Kev.” Soohyun says shocking the other.

“But I love Hoon too. “ Kevin can’t hide his emotions in front of the leader.

“I have already known about this.” Soohyun confesses honestly.

“What? How could you know about that?” Kevin asks confusedly.

“Hoon has told me.” Soohyun says gesturing Hoon to come out.

“Hoon? You have already told him?” Kevin asks the bunny. His eyes open widely.

“Sorry, Kevin, I didn’t ask you before deciding everything on my own.” Hoon sits down behind Kevin placing his hand on the younger boy’s shoulder.

“We have discussed a lot about this. And we are now sure that we can accept anything as long as it is your decision and it makes you happy.” Soohyun speaks out their decision.

“I can’t choose between you two.” Kevin sniffles.

“You don’t have to do that.” Hoon smiles gently.

“Then what will we be in the future?” Kevin still doesn’t know what to do.

“Just come to anyone anytime you want. You don’t need to date with anyone particularly.” Soohyun explains.

“You just need to know that we love you both and let everything go naturally.” Hoon adds to Soohyun’s sentence.

“I love you both.” Kevin whispers lowly.

Soohyun and Hoon bend over to kiss Kevin. Their kisses steal away their love’s tears which are threatening to escape his eyes. They are always so nice and take care of him so well. This is the reason Kevin loves them so much and also the reason that causes this whole strange thing.

Kevin sinks into his boyfriends’ warmth. This relationship is an extreme complication from the start. They both accept him unconditionally. But that doesn’t mean Kevin accepts himself…………… 

A/N: This is the first time I have written a oneshot so it is really messy. The ending coz I havent seen the ending of the real story yet =.=

Anyway tell me how it is!!! Should I write a sequel for this fic???????

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