Autistic. That was my first impression of Minho when I first saw him. During middle school days, our classmates would always make fun of him since he was a new student in the campus. He has this big eyes, small face and tall body stature that is different from other typical Korean students. He was always quiet and serious and he never talks to anyone except when he is asked during recitation. He goes home immediately after every class unlike the other students who would stay at school to bond and chat with each other. Maybe his standoffish character makes people think he’s weird. And maybe, that what makes me notice him.

Most of the time, I would always be with my friends after class. But because of some other business, mom asked me to go home early. I walked alone, and I noticed this guy playing alone in the field. He was playing soccer alone.

“Ya!” I said while walking near him. “Is this the reason why you chose to go immediately after school?” I smiled.

“Oh..yes.. I’m practicing...” He said with a shy smile.

“I didn’t know you play soccer.”

“I used to play soccer since I was younger.” He replied.

“Oh. You know...I really wanna learn how to play that ever since.” I said.

“Uhmm...Do you want me to teach you?”

“Yeees!” I said loudly. I was drooling.

We played soccer and he was so patient with me whenever I ask him to repeat what he taught. After playing, we sat on the grass field and look at the sky. Being with him for quite a while made me think that he was different from what my classmates used to tell me. He’s not autistic. I can say he’s a bit weird cause he doesn’t talk too much. But as I talk to him, I get to know him better.

“Choi Minho...” I said.

“Why?”

“Do you know my name?” I said curiously.

“We were playing the whole afternoon. Why are you asking that?” He said curiously too.

“I’m curious. You don’t talk that much in the classroom. Do you even know your classmates?”

“I don’t talk that much. But I have ears. Of course I know you.” He smiled.

“ Then what’s my name?” I asked.

“Uhmm...Moon Hwa Ra. “I will remember you whenever I see the moon...” He said.

“Why?” I asked curiously.

“MOON Hwa Ra.” He emphasized the word MOON.

“Oh. Yeah. Hahaha.” Is that a joke? Aishh. He’s really a bit weird.” 

“Haha.” I laughed.

“Why?” He asked. 

“Nothing. I just thought you don’t know me. I thought you’re not interested in knowing who the people around you are.” 

“Oh...I’m just like this. I know you all think that I have my own world. I just want to be alone most of the time.” He said seriously.

“ So...am I disturbing you?”

“No! I don’t mean that. You know...this is the first time someone talked to me like this. People usually think I’m not normal and I’m happy you talked to me...”

“I also want to be alone sometimes...but being able to tell someone what’s on my mind makes me feel better. So..are we friends now?”

“Friends.” He said with a bright smile on his face. We shook hands and smiled with each other. We watched the sunset together and look at the stars and the moon shining in the sky. I was happy spending time with my new friend when...

“Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” I screamed.

“Why?”

“I forgot. I need to do some business with my mom that’s why I left school early!”

“I’m sorry...”

“No! It’s not your fault. Memory gap.Aisssh!”

“Let’s go home now.” He said.

“Okay. Bye.” 

We went home together that night since we have the same way. And since that day, we walk home together after every class. 

*****
Three years had pass since Minho and I became friends. We were excited to enter high school knowing that we were enrolled in the same school. I haven’t seen him since vacation because I’m so busy doing some stuffs with my mom. 

It was the first day of school. I saw my friends with their new haircuts. Some of them looked mature. Pretty and handsome people. In my mind, “is this what high school can do? It’s like they all had make-over.” I was a little shy because I didn’t even change a bit. I just grew my brown hair a little longer. Our class is about to start in few minutes. I looked at the wall clock. I thought I was in the wrong classroom because Minho wasn’t there. I’m sure that we belong to the same class. Bell rings. Our teacher got in.

“Okay class. I’m Miss Young. Good Morning.” She said.

I was still looking at the clock. I was about to raise my hand and ask permission to go to the washroom and check for Minho when he said...

“Sit down. No one is allowed to go out. I’ll check your attendance. Girls first.” She mentioned names and I was waiting for mine.

“Moon Hwa Ra.” She said.

“Here.” I replied. I looked at the clock again. Then, I looked at the empty seat I reserved for Minho. Our teacher finished calling the girl’s names. I sighed.

“Okay. All girls are present. I’ll check the boy’s now.”

She kept calling names again. I bowed my head and pretended to be asleep. I was actually very sad because I was expecting Minho to be my classmate.

“Choi Minho.” Our professor said. I turned my head up to check if he was there. But there was no response. I bowed my head on the desk again.

“Choi Minho is absen..t??” She asked.

“Here!” A big low voice said. My head’s still on the desk. I didn’t hear the voice. All I hear was the girls’ voices, screams, and whispers saying “Oh my gosh. Is that him?”. Some says “What the! He’s hot!”. They really sound amused and amazed by something...or someone. Out of curiosity, I turned my head up and look at my side. I was shocked.

“Hwa Ra...” He said. I look at him really amazed. My eyes are opened wide, checking if it was him.

“Minho...” What the! I could feel my heart pumping faster and faster. I can’t believe this. He looked really good! He looked like a movie star with his new haircut! He’s so HOT! Now, I felt more ashamed for not even having a little make-over. Even Minho- the weird guy had his! 

“Why did you not wait for me?” He asked. All the girls were giving me a fiery look. I know he looked really good. Afar from the Minho during middle school. 

“Uh...you didn’t tell me to wait for you...”

“I’ve waited for you at the entrance gate that’s why I’m late.”

Our teacher heard everything. She was smiling at us.

“Miss Moon, next time, wait for your boyfriend so he won’t be late again okay?” Everybody heard what she said. The boys started screaming “yieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!” and the girls started rolling their eyes and whispering to each other.

I was really shocked with Minho’s new look and big low voice. Now I know what puberty can do. Since then, Minho became known not just in our room but also in the whole campus. He even became popular when he joined the soccer team.

*****
“Are you really planning to give him a big chocolate?” A girl said.

“Of course. I will confess my feelings for him! I’m sure he would accept me.” Said the other girl.

“I’ll be giving him chocolates too. May the best girl win!” The girl said.

It was not just the first ‘chocolate conversation’ I’ve heard since the week started. I know they were all talking about Minho. But why are they gonna give him chocolates? I looked at the calendar on my phone and checked the date. Oh. I’m so stupid. Valentine’s day is on the next day.

“Ya. Hwara. What are you thinking?” Minho said. He went near me as I was opening my locker. 

“Phew. Nothing. I’m just thinking how stupid I am for not knowing that Valentine’s day is coming.”

“Haha. Why? You have a date?”

“Ya! No date! I have no special someone right now! Haha.” I said.

“Uhmm. Let me guess.. you’re planning to give chocolates to someone! I caught you! Tell me who the lucky guy is...”He asked curiously.

“Duh! I won’t give chocolates to someone. I’d rather give chocolates to myself. I looooooove sweets. Haha.”

“Okay. Haha. You’re cute.” He said. I didn’t know what to say. I just blushed. His phone rang. He got up from his seat and answered the phone call. I don’t know who he was talking to but I noticed he oftentimes answer phone calls even when we are at school. I’m shy to ask him who he was talking to. But I have a feeling that he talks to someone special. He smiles whenever he speaks with the one on the other line. I can’t explain why I’m feeling this way. I think I’m falling for him...but I hope I don’t. I hope I won’t. 

*****
Valentine’s day. Every girl I saw on my way to school and even at school were holding different sweet stuffs—mostly, chocolates. I saw each girl who passes with a smile after giving chocolates to their crushes and boyfriends. I went inside the school’s lobby and placed my books on the locker. Then someone tapped my shoulder.

“Hwa Ra.. Why are you not holding even a piece of chocolate? Are you not going to give someone?” Minho asked.

“Ya! I told you I don’t have anyone special now. Haha.”

“Are you sure? Haha.” He opened his locker and he got shocked after seeing bags of chocolates falling from his locker. There were also letters. Yes, love letters for Minho. I also got shocked and a bit uncomfortable. It seems that every girl in school likes Minho so much.

“Ya! What’s this!” He said out loud.

“Isn’t it obvious? Lots of girls in school admire you. Are you not happy receiving all that stuffs? Haha.” I laughed. 

“What will I do with all of this? I don’t eat sweets that much.”

“Just give it to your brother after school.”

“Okay. Oh..wait. I got free tickets for the Valentine Fireworks festival. Can you come with me?”

“Where is that? Okay I’ll go. Good thing we have no class tomorrow.” I was glad that he asked me to come with him. But why me? I know lots of girls like him. And I’m the only girl he used to hang-out with. But why not the person on the phone that he was always talking to?

*****
After class, we went to the amusement park where the Valentine fireworks festival will be held. There were many people there. Students, adults and mostly-- couples and lovers. There were food stands and Minho bought a lot for the two of us. As we were walking, a tall guy approached Minho and asked him to talk to him for a while. He left me for a while and I’ve waited for him. He was smiling when he came back.

“I will tell you something later.” He said. We walked and talked for hours and waited for the fireworks. Then there was the countdown—10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Woosh!

“I love you!” Minho whispered something to me right after the countdown. But I didn’t hear what he said because I was mesmerized by the fireworks and it was loud.

“Huh? What did you say??” I asked him loudly cause he might not hear it.

“Nothing.” He was a bit annoyed. I can see it on his face.
After the festival, we walked our way home.

“Ouch..my leg hurts. Can we just take ride?” I asked.

“Hwa Ra..it’s already 1am. No more cabs or bus in this place at this time.” He bends down and looked at me. “Come on. I’ll carry you.” He carried me at his back as I placed my hands around his neck. It was the first time I got very close to a guy physically. I want to stay like that and embrace him until the sun rises but I know he’s tired so..

“Can we just stay here for a while?” I said. 

“Sure.” He smiled. I went down from his back and seated on the grass. The place was actually the grass field where we first became friends. The place was still the same. The moon and stars we used to look at before were still seen from that place.

“Minho ya!” I said.

“Hmm?”

“What are you saying a while ago?” I asked.

“Oh. Is that about the guy who confronted me? He gave me this.” He showed me a calling card of a person from an entertainment company. I read it.

“SM Casting System Staff--Baek Sang Woon. What the! You’re asked to be a talent am I right?” I said loudly.

“Yes. That was not the only thing. There was also this modelling agency who keep on calling me to do a job for them.”

“You mean as a model?” I said.

“Yes. But I think I have to make things clear before deciding...”

“What do you mean?”

“Is it okay for you if I become a celebrity?”

“Uh..uhmm...” I didn’t know what to say. 

“ Mr. Baek told me that if ever I am interested, I should contact him. He said that it would be a long 
training and I will not be able to see special people and my family. I would be staying in the company building where the talent’s apartment is located.”

“Oh...” I still can’t say anything.

“Hwa Ra. Is it okay? I’m asking your opinion...”

“Of course. Do what you want. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy for you.”

“I’ll think about it. Let’s go home now. It’s too late.” He walked with me until we reach our gate. 

“You can go now. I’m safe. I’m going in. When I turned, he grabbed my hand.

“Wait!” He said. He gave me a big paper bag. Kissed me on the cheeks and said goodbye. He immediately disappeared after that. When I got inside my room, I opened the paper bag and I was surprised to see...

“Chocolates!!!!!!!Ya!!!” Haha. He gave me chocolates—chocolates given to him by his admirers. Oh my he’s really weird. But I like him that way. Haha.

*****
Many things happened after that. Months have passed. And now, seconds, minutes, hours, days, and weeks are gone and I haven’t seen Minho. Everyone, especially the girls, where all worried about him. Our teacher would always ask me, “Miss Moon. Where is your boyfriend? Why is he not coming to school for weeks now?” then the girls would start rolling their eyes whisper, and give me meaningful looks. I haven’t talk to Minho lately. The only thing I know is he already made up his mind.
“I’m sorry I’m late.” He came to school after weeks. I felt good that he was beside me now.

“Ya! You’re back!” I said.

“Yes. I’ll tell you everything later.” He said.

I was eagerly waiting for dismissal. I know he has something to tell me and I have something to tell him 
too. Bell rings. We went home together. We stayed at the same place—the grass field.

“Hwa Ra.. It was official now. I’ll be in a contemporary band. I’m sorry if I wasn’t able to tell this earlier.” 

“It’s alright. I have to tell you something too...”

“ Hwa Ra...are you mad?” I didn’t answer. I lay down the grass and just look at the sky. The stars and moon was still there. I was actually teary-eyed, trying hard to control the tears from my eyes.

“Hwa Ra...” He came closer to me, moved his face parallel to mine and kissed me. I closed my eyes and didn’t open it for a long time. I don’t want that kiss to end. I opened my eyes and he stopped kissing me. I sat up.

“Hwa Ra. I love you but I have to leave...”

“Minho...I love you too.and I have to leave too...”

“What are you saying?” He asked curiously.

“Everything is settled. The petition was approved. My family is migrating to states...for good...” There was silence.


“Is that the business you’re always doing with your mom..?”

“Yes.. Since we were in middle school, my mom is working hard for this. It was just approved now. They’ve waited for it so long...”

“They..so you’re not waiting for this day..”

“I don’t want to leave but I have no choice but stay where my family is..”

“I thought I was the only one leaving...but I didn’t expect this to be..you’ll be leaving me..forever..”

“Minho...remember when you told me that you will remember me because of the moon? I took that as a joke before. But now, I’m saying this back to you.. Let’s remember each other whenever we look at the moon.. Even though we are miles away from each other, we will still be looking at the same moon... There is only one moon on earth. And with that, you will always be in my sight, in my mind, and in my heart...forever.

Minho could not say anything but he was crying. Crying his heart out. We didn’t expect us to end like this. We haven’t even started a formal ‘more than friends’ relationship. I cried that night too. We laid at the middle of the field feeling each other’s embraces, and waiting for the sun to rise. I actually don’t want it to rise at all. I wanna be with Minho’s arms for a longer time...

*****
May 25, 2008. I was ready for my flight. I already packed my things. My family and I arrived at the airport early. I watched TV at the departure while waiting. SBS channel. I saw Minho on TV as he danced, rap, and sing. It was their debut performance. I felt sad for not being with him on a very special day in his life. I sighed and closed my eyes to remember every moment I spent with him. I opened my eyes and decided to go to the washroom when someone grabbed my hand...

“Hwa Ra!...” It was Minho. He was still wearing his debut performance outfit. He was panting and he looked exhausted.

“Minho ya!” I was surprised to see him.

“I arrived here immediately after the performance. I thought I was too late.” He said while panting.
Suddenly, “CALLING ALL THE PASSENGERS OF FLIGHT 525. PLEASE PROOCEED TO THE DEPARTURE AREA.”

“Oh I have to leave. I’m glad to see you here. Thank you Minho..”

“Wait!” He grabbed me and gave me a massive hug. I embraced him back, placing my arms around his neck and his arms around my waist. We don’t care about the people passing. I just want to embrace him for one last time.

“Minho...”

“I love you...” he whispered.

“I love you too..” I said. I was crying.

For the last time, we faced each other. He bent down his head slightly and I tip-toed to kiss him. We kissed in the public. Paparazzis were taking pictures of us knowing that Minho was a newly debuted celebrity. But we didn’t care. We kissed goodbye and I waved as I went to the departure. He was crying same as me. I don’t want to say goodbye. But fate ordains that dearest friends must part. Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I'll miss you..until we meet again. And I know someday, we will meet again...