Lies... Jealousy... Sadness... Laughter... These words reflect love in many ways... some can endure, while some choose to give up... In life, there are many obstacles... If we choose to overcome it, either happiness or more obstacles will be on the other end. But in the idol world... happiness isn't present when it comes to love... either one or both has to endure the pain...

           ---Sweet Dreams, My love
                            Sweet Dreams...

Dear Journal...

     Another day passes with him by my side... I feel blessed and at the same time... scared... This feeling is like a thorn piercing my heart and yet it feels...

"Wooyoung-ah, what 'cha doin'?" The warmth that engulfs me... the scent that is present when he's around... His arms wrapped around me like the days passed. Even though I wanted to tell him...

"UMM NOTHING!" -smack- the journal shuts tightly as I close it violently...

"Really now?" He smirks at me as he held my chin up... his lips gently pressing against my own... the air caught in between us, trying to escape as we breath... I close my eyes as I embrace this moment...

"Well anyways, we got to prepare for the Music Bank performance tonight. I'll see you later." He pats me on the head like he usually does... I respond with a smile... no words are needed... since our love only needs silence...

But still...

Even though I wanted to tell him...

         The fear of hurting him is present... and the fear of ... losing him...

Trying to close my eyes... I try to forget about the thorn penetrating my heart...

But...

           "It hurts..." The pulsing of my heart becomes more and more violent... I can feel each pulse violently purging through my chest... I try to stop the pain with my hands alone... but it just won't stop...

"Wooyoung-ah" Jaebeom knocks on the door and walks in... I quickly remove my hands from my chest, trying to endure the pain as it violated me deeply... "Yes?" Jaebeom is giving me advice on what to look out for during the performance and how I can improve... I stare at him and nod when my brain instructed me to... although I appreciate the help... it can get boring at times...

Jaebeom is like my brother... whenever I need help with something, he's there... But I wonder if he can help stop this pain in my heart... I felt like crying on his shoulders... but I must endure this... for as long as I can...

"OK let's go, everybody's probably waiting for us" Jaebeom jogs out of the room, leaving me alone again... I quickly grab my jacket and head for the living room where the others are...

"Everybody's here right? OK let's head out." The manager turns around and heads out the front door with the others following him. I let out a soft groan as the pain started to violate me yet again... My hand automatically reacts and grabs my chest... trying to rip the pain out. Luckily nobody noticed... or so I thought...

"Wooyoung, you OK?" Junsu held his arms around me, ensuring that I didn't collapse.

"Yeah, hehe... I'm just nervous" Of course that's a lie but...

"Really... if something is wrong... just tell me, we're family ya know" He smiles to confirm that... "We should probably go catch up with the others"

---Music Bank---

The night went by fast as artists performed one after another till...

"HERE'S 2PM!" The lights were still dim as the music started to play... The lights were now beginning to lighten up but my vision started to play tricks on me... I need to endure this... I need to...

"WOOYOUNG-AH! WOOYOUNG!!!"

           "QUICK GET MANAGER-HYUNG!"

The members panicked as I laid there on the stage... slowly my eyes began to close... I fall unconscious... But his warmth... I could feel it... 

---Hospital---

"I'm sorry... but... he doesn't have much time left... unless we perform the surgery right away."

"NO MATTER THE COST! I'LL DO ANYTHING! JUST SAVE HIM!" His voice echoed as tears ran down his face...

I didn't open my eyes... I pretended to be unconscious... overhearing the conversation between the doctor, JYP, manager, and the members... I knew that the time has come... it was inevitable...

"We will try our best... Mr. Park can I talk to you alone regarding the parent consent form?"

"Yes..." The voices of JYP and the doctor became distant...

"Let's leave him alone to rest for now... the doctor said the surgery success is high so don't worry." The manager tries to calm everyone down... footsteps followed the members as they left the room but he stayed behind...

"Wooyoung... don't leave me..." His hand and face... I can feel it as he held tightly onto my hand... I didn't think it would be this serious... but I have to make the most of it...

"Khun..."

"Wooyoung you're awake! I'll call the doctor!" He gets up and turns around...

"Khun... don't leave... I want to be with you... you alone..." I try to hold onto his hand but my strength was not present that night... But he accepts my request... He kneels down beside me... gently brushing my face with the back of his hand...

          yes... he was always kind and caring... no matter what happens... I know he'll always be there for me... but...

"Listen Khun... I wanted to tell..." His shakes his head and just held onto my hand...

"You need rest..." He smiles... trying to hold in the tears... but a single drop managed to escape...

          That night was the last... as we spent it in silence... trying to smile and encourage each other to stay strong... but staying strong doesn't matter anymore... We loved each other... that's all that matters...

---1 Year Later---

"AND THE AWARD FOR BEST ARTIST OF THE YEAR GOES TO... 2PM!!!!"

"THANK YOU FOR EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTED US TILL THIS DAY! WE ESPECIALLY LIKE TO THANK THE PERSON WHO MADE THIS POSSIBLE... WOOYOUNG THIS IS FOR YOU!"

---After the Award Ceremony---

"Nichkhun wait!"

"Manager-hyung, what is it?"

"I found this while searching over his stuff the other day... I'm thinking you'd want to keep this."

"Thank you..."

        Dear Journal...

     The smile and warmth... I know he will always be there when I needed him... if I cry... he will be there... if I need help... he will be there... his kindness is always radiating... emitting the warmth that I need... But I ask myself this question...

   Why did we fall in love...

                 .... There is no reason why... because ...

    "I love him..."

"KHUN LET'S GO! THE MEMORIAL IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!"

"COMING!".... "I'll see you later my love..."

    And that was the last day my journal was for me alone... it was now our journal... where we can ask and answer ourselves...

         Why did we fall in love...