“What would you do if I wasn’t here?” Her eyes looked at him, deep in his eyes, made him shivering. He felt tingling sensation on his heart. “I don’t know. I’ve never imagined my life without your presence. Can you imagine that? Without me, would you be able to live?” Yongguk asked back, his heart was pounding hard. Really hard until he could feel his heart touching the bones of his chest.

“Maybe.. I wouldn’t be here, I would live hopelessly without you..” JiEun answered, her eyes were pure with sincerity. They were standing on the edge of a beach, watching how beautiful the sunset was from their place. “Do you want to lose me?” Yongguk whispered. And that, JiEun’s head snapped to his direction.

“Why did you say that?” She sighed. “Because you’ve known the risk of our relationship right?” Yongguk chuckled bitterly. “Hey.. It’s your fans who make the risk bigger. Mine won’t make it,” JiEun laughed. And that laugh made him hurt even more. Knowing how bad he was to her. Knowing how hopeless their relationship was.

“Yongguk~ Let’s go.. We need to start our album recording..” JiEun stood up, she tapped Yongguk’s shoulder softly. “I’m sorry..” Yongguk only could whisper those words to JiEun as they headed to the different vehicles.

***

They both were looking at each other, both of their hearts were screaming to each other. But…. They couldn’t do anything except smiling. They didn’t know, the smile given by each other was for them or for the fans.

JiEun made a heart shape with her hands. And Yongguk saw it. His smile got wider, she was so cute with the heart shape she made. But, once again, he didn’t know for who was the heart shape like. And he felt the tingling pain in his body got bigger.

“Hyung.. Are you okay?” Himchan asked, looking worriedly forth and back to Yongguk and SECRET’s place. “Sure.” Was the only word from him. And for the rest of the day, the staring contest continued. Made their hearts smiled.

“You were so great when performed ‘Secret Love’!” Hyosung cheered for her juniors, especially for Himchan. And thus, they started to chat. “You were so… charming…” JiEun murmured, standing in front of Yongguk. Her head hung low, and Yongguk was looking to the other sides, felt shy.

“Do you like it?” “What do I like?” “Our song, Secret Love?” “I do..” “Why?” And that simple question sent them into an awkward position. “Because.. I’m experiencing it now.. I know how hard it is to be the girl in your song,” JiEun forced her smile.

“You can do your best!” Yongguk changed the topic of their conversation. “Sure, thank you,” She hadn’t looked at Yongguk at his eyes nor facing him. She was totally shy and worried. When SECRET was going to go up to the stage, Yongguk pulled her out from the line. He gave a light peak on her lips and she enjoyed it, thankful for the spark in her heart. “You’re going to do it amazingly..” Yongguk whispered, pushing her to the stage.

“I promise you,” she mouthed from the stage. “Yongguk! Come on, we need to change your clothes!” His manager called out for him. “Hyung, let me watch them for a while..” Yongguk pleaded, his eyes were focusing on the girls in front of him.

“You can’t!” The manager kept yelling on him, made the music not clear enough for his ears anymore. “HYUNG!” Now, his dongsaengs were yelling at him. “Hyung, you need to save your feeling first. You will always be able to see her every time and everywhere, hyung..” Himchan was telling him a fact.

“You have to be professional, hyung,” The magnae approached them, made him feels embarrassed by his words. How could he become so selfish? Even the magnae knew about that! “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. He left the backstage, right when JiEun was stepping forward. He knew how guilty he would feel after her going down from the stage. Because she had always asked him about her performance. And he would never be able to answer the question.

JiEun didn’t give him any sweet words after she had walked down from the stage. Her face was cold. A real cold one, and made Yongguk couldn’t say anything. Anyway, B.A.P’s turn was right after SECRET. He never knew it would change everything.

***

“What do you mean with that?” The both were in the middle of quarrel. Yongguk didn’t want to know nor understand what JiEun was saying to him. JiEun’s eyes were full of strength, she wouldn’t be that strong if she was so selfish, right?

“You know what I mean.. You’re not that stupid in love right? You’ve loved me for awhile after all right?” JiEun’s voice was strong, full of confidence. “How could you say that to me?!” Yongguk’s hand formed a fist, his anger was on its peak.

“What would you do now if our relationship got opened up by your fans?” JiEun seriously asked to him, and it made Yongguk know very well how hurt she was, and how serious she was with their relationship. He wasn’t that patient like what JiEun had done for him.

He bowed, not being brave to see right on her eyes. “You agree with me right?” JiEun smiled bitterly, her fear was becoming true, but that was her decision after all. “Would you be okay?” Yongguk looked at her worriedly.

“I’m not that innocent, my love..” JiEun said, adding ‘my love’ to make her love showed up. “You’re innocent.. You’re my princess..” He replied back. The loud noise from the stage made both of them lost. On that stage, their friends were performing a breaking heart song, and it made both of them lost in their thought, feeling their heart’s feelings slowly.

“JiEun! Get ready for your performance!” “Yongguk! You have to practice your expression!” They didn’t want to hear those words. They wanted to just go away, gathered together, showing up how strong their love was. They closed their eyes tightly, let some tears fall down just for that time. And just once in their love life before they could be together again.

“I will always love you. I will try hard to make you mine.. I promise you,” Yongguk whispered loud enough for JiEun as their skin brushed to each other. They didn’t turn their heads to say goodbye, they didn’t let the tears escape from their eyes, and they tried hard though both of their eyes were teary.

As Yongguk walked to the waiting room, he smiled. Remembering JiEun’s words before they walked to their own directions. He would always save the words deep in his heart, and he trusted that JiEun would do it too for him.

‘I will keep your promise, I will run to you in joy when you come to take me into your embrace. And that time, I will give you my heart. Because, when that time has came, I trust that you have changed into a new person. A bright one and a very lovely one..’ She said, before Yongguk could spell out his promise. He looked like he wasn’t interesting with her words, because people kept crossing them.

Yongguk wanted to hug her, saying many sorry to her although his mouth went dry in the process. He would really love it, he wouldn’t regret every seconds he spent with her nor the words he would spell out.

“I will always love you. I will try hard to make you mine.. I promise you,” Yongguk whispered loud enough for JiEun as their skin brushed to each other. They didn’t turn their heads to say goodbye, they didn’t let the tears escape from their eyes, and they tried hard though both of their eyes were teary.

“I really love you.. I want to see how powerful your love is..” JiEun whispered on her way, no regret in her voice, only trust.