[SOOHYUN’S POV]

“Where am I?” I thought when I was sinking deeply into the darkness of my dream. I was thinking, what I was doing with my life? I couldn’t get a hold of myself anymore since you came into my life. I can’t seem to find what I wanted anymore; or the real me. Some part of me knows I want to keep you close but another part of me tells me that something will break us apart. I was rather crazy to ignore how much irresponsible I was to promise you everything you needed when in the real deal was, I can’t.

“I am Shin Soohyun, South Korea’s Kpop Idol, leader of U-Kiss…”

I remember THIS so far… Until I felt apart of you; I’ve forgotten everything. I pushed THIS memory to the back of my head until I can fully make your heart mine but today, I was reminded I have obligations to U-Kiss, again. The group… and… AJ, he’s leaving us. This feeling I have inside of my chest tightens, making me hard to breathe just like when I received the news of how Kibum and Alexander’s contacts were terminated. However, AJ’s case was a little different but… it’s indescribable… it’s like seeing one of your family members leaving you far, far away. I’m still shocked by the news. “Is this why AJ didn’t tell me anything?” I’m such a stupid leader.

“Soohyun! Soohyun hyung!”

“AJ? … Hoon? Everyone?” I blinked my eyes once, twice until I can fully see the light of the real world again. The first person I saw was AJ, Hoon and all my U-Kiss members surrounding me. I tried to bring myself up but I realized I was in a hospital bed.

“Soohyun! You’re awake!” exclaimed Kiseop.

“Obviously,” muttered Dongho.

“You worried the heck out of everyone Soohyun!” so I heard our manager spoke. I saw how worried his was and I could tell he had that look he always have when he’s mad and was about to scold me but he end it with a shrug. “It’s good that you’re fine. Nothing very serious.”

As I came fully to my senses, I scanned myself and saw I have a few bruises here and there and I checked my face.

“Don’t worry. You’re fine!” said Eli.

I breathed in deeply, taking the atmosphere in.

“You scared the hell out of Sora noona by the way,” said Dongho.

I gave a concerned, silently.

“She’s outside, at the waiting bay. Our CEO gave out orders: Strictly no outside visitors are allowed to visit you to avoid any unwanted visitors. So, Sora decided to wait for you outside,” explained AJ even without me asking.

I nodded understanding but it aches my heart to hear her name.

“Well, the doctor said you can leave the hospital anytime now since your condition isn’t very serious but the fact you got hit by a car and survive is truly unbelievable hyung!” said Kevin.

I remembered so clearly after Kevin called. It was so careless of me to be unaware of my surroundings. The unpleasant feeling to feel so unsecure was there when the news broke out and seeing you shattered my heart. I thought so seriously what I had to do with you now but I rushed into this mess and made everyone worried. What kind of person am I? What kind of leader I am to them?

“Anytime when you’re ready to leave the hospital Soohyun – We really need you back,” said our manager.

“Actually, now is the best time,” I replied.

- - - - - - -

[NO ONE’S POV]

You were fiddling your thumbs as you waiting so worryingly outside at the waiting hall for Soohyun and the rest of U-Kiss to come out from the patient room. You received all updates about Soohyun from the rest of U-Kiss that Soohyun will be fine but you still felt uneasy. The fact Soohyun’s life was endangered in front of your eyes was still a big shock for you. You felt really terrible for not being able to do anything except to be there for him. On the other hand, you felt it was also your fault for leading him out into the public when it was unsafe for him, leaving him when you pleased; only to put him in more danger than he’ll ever be as an Idol.

“Soohyun…” you sobbed in your hands as you wished he was going to be alright.

You heard a door opening; your head shot straight up to look its way to see all the U-Kiss members to finally come out from Soohyun’s patient room. You brightened up when Soohyun too, came out from the room and looked fine. You ran over to them and into Soohyun’s arms to hug him tightly.

“Oppa! Thank goodness! Thank goodness you’re alright!” you said in tears.

“Of cause… I’m aright… but… who are you?” asked Soohyun.

You flinched and released your hug from Soohyun. You found it weird when he didn’t hugged you back or had his warm hand caressing your hair or… something, but to ask who you were was a big shock! You were too speechless to even ask; having all sorts of questions and emotions running inside your head didn’t even help.

“Soohyun hyung! What do you mean by that? Don’t you recognize her? She’s Sora… Lee Sora,” said Kevin.

“Lee Sora – we have a friend like that around?”

“Uh… hyung, this isn’t funny. Sora noona is really close to you as you are to her,” said Dongho.

“I don’t remember anything of the sort,” said Soohyun as he looked at s and lastly to his manager. “Manager hyung, what are they talking about? Anyway, don’t we have an urgent schedule now? We really should get going.”

The manager who was a little shocked by the latter only managed to agree with Soohyun and ushered the group to leave the hospital leaving Sora completely mind-blown. The other U-Kiss members felt rejected and resisted the manager’s orders and continued provoking Soohyun.

“Hyung! This isn’t like you. It’s Sora! Lee Sora. Just look at her! Don’t you feel anything about her?” asked Kiseop.

Sora turned around looking right at Soohyun hoping Kiseop words put some sense into him.

Soohyun only shook his head. This made Eli pissed off.

“Snap out of hyung! Stop acting sick! Sora is the person you love, isn’t she? How can you easily forget about that?!” shouted Eli at the leader, snarling at him.

“STOP IT Eli!” replied Soohyun with the exact same tone surprising all of them. “I’m tired OK? Can’t we just go back?” Soohyun finally just turned his back on Sora and left the hospital who all s and Sora were confused.

“That Soohyun, aish!!!” grumbled Eli beside Sora.

“Stop it Eli. I’m sorry for everything,” you said.

“But Sora!!” “Noona!” all of U-Kiss chorused.

You shook your head slightly. “I’m going home.”

“You aren’t just going to go home! Soohy–”

“I just –I can’t…” you trembled at your own words not finding the right answer for U-Kiss to understand how you felt. “I have to go home now before my omma returns. I haven’t seen her for a long time so… it’ll be alright.” You went home without another word.

The rest of U-Kiss except Soohyun who was there felt how depressing and frustrating this was. Secretly and quietly, AJ didn’t feel any better than he was after the outbreak of his news to pursue his studies. Partially, he felt this was his fault as well. “Everything just had to happen at the wrong place and time,” he thought.

- - - - - - -

[YOUR POV]

I tried wrapping my whole head about why Soohyun decided not to recognize me and avoid me. I refused to believe he had forgotten me. He did that on purpose! I was sure of it. I walked back home only to focus what I had to do next because my mother was returning home; I left Eunsoo back home alone doing all the chores and I felt bad about that; WORSE since today was a disaster but I can’t help to cry every step on my way home thinking of him.

“Soohyun, why are you doing this to me?”

I opened the door to my house and Eunsoo greeted me gleefully by jumping onto me with one of her infamous bear hugs. “Welcome back!” she said but she paused to look at me. “OMO! Unni… Were you crying? WAE?”

“Hush. It’s nothing,” I told her and I pushed her away to go to the toilet but on my way, I saw a familiar feminine figure sitting in the dining room looking right at me as I froze when I saw her. “Omma…”

“Annyeong Sora ah… Long time no see,” she said.

I felt so overwhelmed seeing her back in our house that I ran over to her without a minute to lose and hugged her. Her embrace was warm and comforting like I thought it would. I chinned up to look at her, putting on the most natural smile I could give her. “How are you omma?”

“I’m fine and how about you?” she asked me back. I smiled at her but she didn’t reply my smile but turned into a frown. “Why are your eyes red, Sora ah? Are you hurt?! What happened to you?”

I shook my head denying every question she threw at me to hide how I felt about Soohyun but at that time Eunsoo came in with a very concerned look at us.

“Unni… Did something happen between you and Soohyun oppa?” asked Eunsoo.

“Soohyun? Who’s Soohyun?” my omma asked.

“No one omma. No one,” I said with a terrible chuckle in between.

However, I knew that wasn’t enough to convince her and knowing the mother she was, I had a feeling when I look at her, she was about to tell me something very important and I didn’t like the feeling at all.

“Sora ah… Can you listen to omma?” she asked me and I nodded. “At my last conference in the US, I was promoted a higher job by my company and that would mean we’ll be living better than we have now. Lately, I’ve seen you lived so well and I can tell whatever it is that made you grown more happier, I wish you can follow me this time. You trust me right?”

“Of cause omma… What is it?”

“My job requires me to transfer to the US…” she paused to scan my expression like to check I was OK or something. I completely snapped out of it.

“So that means… We’re moving?” My mother affirmed. “Where? When?”

“Houstan. We’ll be moving next month sweety. If you are hurting from whatever that it is here, just think of it as starting a new life over there. You don’t need to think of the past anymore but be positive about it and let’s move on. I hope I’m not forcing you but please do it for omma too?,” she ended it off with rubbing my head.

I know I was giving her the surprised look for too long but I realized, maybe this was just what I need in these kind of times. What do I know? I only remember half of my life but… “Live a better life.” These words never failed to come back to me every time.

“Nae omma… Let’s go…”

After dinner and cleaning up the kitchen, Eunsoo dragged me to my room and went pretty hysterical about the news of me moving away. She kept pounding the fact that I should NOT leave Seoul, I should not leave U-Kiss, especially Soohyun. I told her the whole story of what happened today and what happened at the hospital making Eunsoo jaw dropped with a hundred and one questions. Nevertheless, she picked up quickly as she always does and insisted me of staying in Seoul.

“But Eunsoo ah… Soohyun never wanted me, I am sure.”

“That’s crazy talk unni! We all know how much Soohyun cares for you.”

“I care for him too Eunsoo ah.”

“Then what’s the problem??”

Before I get to answer Eunsoo’s question, my phone rang and I instantly picked it up without checking who called because Eunsoo’s stares were just too scary to revert my own eyes away from her.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Is this Lee Sora?”

“Nae. Who’s this?”

“It’s AJ. Can we talk?”

“AJ oppa? Sure but how did you get my number…?”

“Well… I kinda’ took it from Soohyun hyung without him knowing but that’s not important. Sora, listen… About what happened today, that’s not the real Soohyun. I’m sure he’s just too shocked what had has happened to him today.”

“Why? What happened to him?” I asked in distress. When AJ said about something ‘happened’ to him. I knew something was going on. I remember how stressful Soohyun looked when he saw me before crossing the road. Before crossing the road, he received a phone call… I suspected something unpleasant happened to him.

“It’s partially my fault for making him worried. You see… I won’t be able to continue my activities with U-Kiss anymore,” said AJ.

My eyes widen; I bit my bottom lip. “Was this it that had been bothering Soohyun? If I were him, I’ll also be freaking out of my mind.” “AJ, what do you mean? Are you leaving? Andwae! You can’t leave U-Kiss!” I stressed out to him.

“Hold your horses. I’m not permanently leaving U-Kiss but temporarily leaving because I got accepted into Colombia University in New York.”

I sighed in relief feeling so glad it wasn’t what I thought.

“That’s why I need you to be strong for Soohyun. I don’t know why he chooses to act like this but please understand him more and don’t give up. We can tell, he loves you dearly.”

“Soohyun…”

I thought about Soohyun for a while and how much he cares about me. How long has it been since I woke up from my coma? Little by little when I spent days seeing him, either in person or on music shows, even just with phone calls or messages, all these memories including the memories of my dream flashed into my head making me able to see the real me. Soohyun who appeared before me, helped me though it all but I realized how different he can be. He is Soohyun, a person who showers me with all the love and compassion he holds dearly for me but on the other hand, Soohyun who does his best chasing his own dreams and living the life of an Idol loved by his fans.

Before I realized my own feelings for him, sometimes I wonder if I was his friend or just another fan of his. Was our love anymore real that his love for his Idol life. Who was I to stand in between him and his career? Somewhere in my heart tells me he loves it really much so did I really loved him? Or just the person in my dreams where he comforts me when I cried, when I hated the world? Thanks to him, I found a new life to live. I had to thank him and be on my way; so I thought. Soohyun… You need your life too, don’t you? Is that why you’re pushing me away? You’ve done so much for me and I know I can’t give you back anything so… at least, I’ll give you back what I took.”

“AJ… Thank you for your words but there’s nothing else I can do. I have been keeping Soohyun apart of my life for a long time now but I don’t plan to keep him forever. It may be hard to believe, but I’m sure at some point, he has told you we shared a dream, didn’t he? But I promised myself to not let him drown in my own dreams so I want him to continue living his own dream and his own life. He belongs with you guys and I can’t be in it but I can be apart of it. I’ll always support U-Kiss until the end. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be strong as you asked me to just like the other fans out there… For both U-Kiss and Soohyun.”

“That sounds just the same as giving up. Let me ask you again: Don’t you love Soohyun hyung?” asked AJ.

THUMP! THUMP!

My heart weakened by his question. Dammit! I have to say no… but my heart says yes. That was the answer and confession I wanted to make to him earlier but with everything that has happened, I can’t bring myself to say it. “No. I can’t… There’s no future between us AJ. Besides, I’m leaving Seoul. I’m going to start a new life.”

“YOU ARE WHAT?! Don’t give me that crap,” AJ was completely mad at me for the first time and I heard incomprehensive muttering over the phone slightly until AJ calmed down to bring himself to talk to me again. I heard a loud puff of air coming from him. “Sora, come to Japan.”

“What?”

“Come to our Budokan Concert in Tokyo. You need to come. You’ll find out why and maybe the answer you’re looking for: About Soohyun’s dream.  All of our dreams.”

Soohyun’s dream? What is his dream? I want to know…

A/N: It's almost the end... huh...