Chapter 3

Falling by Degrees

A/N: More WonKyu interactions in this chapter, from post-Don't Don promotions to Super Show 1. Enjoy :)

Thanks to sonelf, luna172004, freakadellic, SiwonnieFan, temptryst, and MinYeonRin for the comments <3

 

“Stop staring at me.”

“Sorry.”

“You’re still staring.”

“I’ve said sorry.”

“And yet you continue staring.”

“I’m trying to figure you out.”

“By staring at me.”

“Yes.”

“It’s creepy.”

“Sorry.”

“But you’ll keep staring anyway.”

“Yes.”

“Fine.”

“…”

“…”

“You’re also staring at me.”

Sorry.

“So this is about fair play, isn’t it?”

“I’m trying to figure you out.”

“You’re so cute, Kyu.”

“Shut up and stare.”

And this was how Heechul found them, approximately five minutes later.

“What in the name of everything unholy are you two doing?”

The only reason why Siwon lost the contest was because he broke into a fit of laughter one second too soon.
 



So, maybe throwing that sort of bait was not the smartest move in the world.

Kyuhyun gritted his teeth as he—yet again—tried to escape from the relentless human hound better known as Choi Siwon. Already a lot could be said about the older boy’s persistence to constantly hover in his vicinity under the pretext of watching over him; but now, after Kyuhyun had thrown him ‘the bait’, to shake him off was an impossible feat by any mortal standard. It was one more point he could add to the list of things he had recently learned about Siwon: the man was ridiculously competitive.

(And truly, infuriatingly, ridiculously handsome, but this latter had been a confirmed and firmly established fact since the moment of Super Junior's inception, which could have left no room for any doubt, legitimate or otherwise.)

Perhaps it was just as well that Kyuhyun was equally stubborn. He did not slow his pace, rushing up two flights of stairs from the basement to the ground floor of the building—even with the knowledge of facing the press corps alone ahead. The others were lagging behind, barely out of the car, their enthusiasm worn down by repetition. This would be their fourth interview for the day.

He could still hear the firm set of footsteps, slightly apart from the bustle of other noises and echoes. Kyuhyun frowned; the fact that he could differentiate the sound of Siwon’s footsteps alone was rather disturbing.

And they were steadily getting closer.

Coming to a decision, Kyuhyun counted to three and then quickly whirled around to glare at the older man. True to his prediction, Siwon was only a few steps away, the brightness of his smile undimmed, untouched by either weariness or winter’s chill.

“I think you have a problem,” Kyuhyun declared, loud enough to lend an unmistakable degree of sternness to his voice.

Siwon blinked once, and then nodded. “I do. In fact, you are my problem.”

Kyuhyun was about to embark on a series of indignant and entirely justified disclaimers when Siwon continued, suddenly grave, “Don't move.”

"What?"

His less-than-intelligent question went, predictably, ignored. Instead of kindly providing him with a more enlightening reply, Siwon began to take his scarf off, a white, gold-trimmed piece that provided a startling contrast to the sleek blackness of his coat. Kyuhyun watched him, dreading, bracing himself against the worst—and still he was stunned into silence when the worst did happen and the silken length wound gently around his neck, settling into a warm, comfortable cocoon that reminded him, embarrassingly, too much of its owner.

“There.” Siwon’s smile returned in full force, twin dimples and all, and Kyuhyun suddenly found it very hard to maintain a decent scowl.

“I’m not sick anymore, you know,” he pointed out sullenly.

“I know,” the older boy replied, a twinkle hidden in the field behind his eyes. “You’re just less healthy than the rest of us.”

“That was an insult, wasn't it?”

“Actually, no,” Siwon replied after a pause, his voice softening a notch—and so was the intensity of his smile. “That was a compliment to a young man whom I respect so much because he did not give up when the rest of the universe would have. And now he's back on his feet, mesmerising the world with the beautiful voice he has fought so hard to regain, so who cares if he is a little prone to bouts of sickness every now and then?”

Kyuhyun stared, his mind going absolutely blank. Whatever he had prepared himself to hear, it had been nothing remotely pointing in that direction, let alone the actual, heartfelt confession. Siwon, he remembered about five seconds later, was also ridiculously earnest.

It was the sound of many approaching footsteps which finally made him stir. He caught a glimpse of Yesung and Leeteuk rounding the corner and quickly turned around, resuming his progress down the hall. Siwon easily fell into step beside him, pace matching his.

“Sometimes,” Kyuhyun muttered, only loud enough to reach the other man, “you make me want to hit you so hard that you'd forget everything you ever said.”

“I'd just say them again.” He did not need to look to know that Siwon was grinning—the bastard. “Which means that you would have to hear them twice.”

“Then I’ll hit you harder until you can’t even remember who I am.”

“You’ll have to hit very, very, very hard.”

“Because you’re thick-headed as well as thick-skinned?”

“Because you’re rather difficult to forget.”

“Well, I’m sure hitting you very, very, very hard won’t be a problem.” Kyuhyun wore his sweetest smile to accompany his barb of an answer.

“You’re really mean sometimes.” Siwon feigned a long-suffering sigh, although the undimmed smile on his face effectively rendered any imitation of hurt feelings useless. “I like to pamper you, you know.”

Kyuhyun did not even blink at the non sequitur. “You pamper everyone,” he shot back, matter-of-fact.

“Everyone deserves to be pampered.”

He rolled his eyes. It was exactly something the ‘gentlemanly’ Choi Siwon would say—and with a straight face too. “Really?” Kyuhyun challenged, head tipped back, hands sunk deep into the pockets of his coat; he was on the offensive, a predator scenting the horizon for preys, and the both of them knew it. “Then answer this one. Who pampers you?”

The question seemed to catch Siwon by surprise for his stride suddenly faltered. “I don’t need to be pampered,” he said, frowning a little.

Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow, wondering if he had imagined the trace of resignation in Siwon's voice. He decided that he had not.

“But—and I quote—everyone deserves to be pampered.”

“I wasn’t thinking about me,” the taller man admitted with a hint of a smile—and then, there, for the first time in the two-year length of their acquaintanceship, Kyuhyun felt a stab of genuine pity for Choi Siwon. He tried to remember what Siwon’s family was like, only to discover that he could not. Because he did not know. He had never met any of them.

“But,” Siwon added after a pause, “I don’t mind if you want to pamper me sometimes.”

“And why would I do that?” Kyuhyun said, shooting him a blank look.

“No reason.” The man was grinning widely by now, as if nothing had happened. “But since I know that I’m special to you–”

“Excuse me, but what part of my speech or action conveyed that impression to your muddled head?”

“Well, you have this light in your eyes whenever you look at me and–”

Kyuhyun was not sure which had happened first: that his mind had gone blank for the second time, or that his feet had started moving on their own accord, to the direction of the other members. He did not even realise that he had latched himself to Leeteuk’s arm, until the leader asked him in a soft, concerned voice if there was anything wrong. Kyuhyun shook his head wordlessly. He was only glad that he could get away from Siwon. (And that he could breathe again, although his heart was still doing a crazy little dance inside his chest.)

He did not, however, miss the flicker of surprise in Siwon’s face. Or the flood of apprehension when the taller boy realised that he had probably gone one step too far.

“Kyu," he tried to catch Kyuhyun's attention when they filed into the conference room—and again, once they had settled down in their seats for the interview, side by side. "I’m only joking,”

Kyuhyun thoroughly ignored him. He pretended not to notice the anxious looks Siwon was throwing his way every few seconds, or how the other man had suddenly turned quiet, his usual exuberance whittled away by unease. Instead, Kyuhyun focused his attention to the throng of reporters and fans crowding the venue, half-listening to Leeteuk's voice expertly weaving the bare threads of facts, a simple advertisement of their first Asian tour, into a wonderfully poignant tale.

It was not until they were halfway into the Q&A session and the questions had invariably made a turn to the subject of his health and last year's accident, that Kyuhyun decided to break the ice. The nausea and discomfort of talking about one of the most gruesome experiences in his life had never completely disappeared, but the unmistakable presence of Hyukjae’s hand on the base of his spine, the feel of Siwon’s shoulder pressed against his, were comfort enough. With familiarity born of one-too-many practices, he donned a tiny, indifferent smile and fell back to his usual stock of answers.

What made this particular speech different was the end.

“Even now, everyone never stops caring and showing their love for me,” Kyuhyun said, voice gradually falling into a softer lilt; then he rose to his feet, drawing all eyes to his direction. “But today, there is one person in particular whom I really want to thank.”

It was so easy, the smooth, effortless glide of a plan falling into place—the slight bend of his waist, the shadow of a smirk outlining his lips, and then the light, tender brush of a kiss on Siwon’s cheek—all a matter of patience, planning, and timing. The public reaction was instantaneous. A sudden eruption of hysterical screams almost brought the roof down, amidst blinding, aggressive flashes of camera which recorded the moment for eternity. Eight to his left and four to his right, the members all stared at him, varying degrees of shock on their faces.

Heechul was the first to break into a smirk, followed by Hyukjae's high-pitched, uncontrollable laugh. Completely unperturbed, Kyuhyun sat down and hid his grin in the scarf that filled his nose with Siwon’s scent.

“And that," he murmured, eyes never leaving the other man, "is how I joke.”

Three seconds later, eyes still blurred from endless births of flashlights, ears crowded by yet another torrent of screams, Kyuhyun found himself smothered by a pair of relieved arms.

“I thought you were mad at me,” he heard it whispered against the shell of his ear, and this could be the dawn of something dangerous, something irreparable, for he could feel the stutter in his breath, the warm tingle that travelled from where Siwon’s lips had accidentally brushed his skin, down to his neck and spine.

For now, however, Kyuhyun only smiled, saying nothing.
 



When Siwon arrived at the dance studio, the cold of a January night still clinging to his reddened skin, he found the youngest member of their group standing motionless in the middle of the room, frowning in concentration. Still feeling a little lightheaded from the sharp bite of winter outside along with the mounting pressure of their impending first concert weighing down his shoulders, he could only stare wordlessly at Kyuhyun for the first few seconds.

“What are you doing?” he finally managed to ask.

“Trying to make that chair move with my stare alone,” the younger boy said blandly, not even turning to look at him.

Siwon felt his eyebrows inch toward the line of his hair. “Really?”

“Yes. The chair isn’t really convinced though. But maybe if we combine our stares–”

He threw a rolled towel at Kyuhyun’s direction, laughing. “Seriously. What are you doing?”

Kyuhyun shot him a sour look from the corner of his eyes. “What do you think I’m doing?”

“I honestly have no idea.”

The other boy sighed and whirled around to face him properly, one hand on his hip, the other combing through his messy black hair. “If you must know, it’s about our performance for A Man In Love. They want me to do this one move for my singing part. I’m just… I’m not sure if I can pull it off well enough.”

“Why not?”

Kyuhyun made a face at him. “You know how bad I am at dancing.”

Siwon suppressed a grin, hiding his eyes behind a sweep of unruly bangs. “Not bad, you just haven’t been doing it as long as the rest of us. Well, not that I can really talk myself,” he added with a more self-conscious smile.

“At least you’re still better than me.”

“Not much.”

Still.”

“Alright, if you insist,” Siwon relented, then crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Let me see it then. The dance move.”

Kyuhyun stared at him warily. “Here? Right now?”

“We’re still alone,” he pointed out, reason mixed with the tiniest smidgen of deviousness. “Although Donghae did mention that he’d also come in later on, so if it’s a bigger audience that you want–”

“Fine,” Kyuhyun cut him off, already stalking toward the sound system in the corner of the room. “But don’t laugh.”

Siwon made a solemn sign in front of his heart. Then the song began to play, right before Kyuhyun’s part, and he forgot entirely about his promise. What brain power he had left was completely used up in trying to prevent himself from crumbling to the floor in stitches.

“Go ahead.” Kyuhyun was scowling at him, a light flush dusting his cheeks. “You can laugh. No need to hold back. Better that than to have you hyperventilating on me.”

After spending a few minutes with his head between his knees, Siwon could safely say that his urge to burst out laughing every three seconds was finally subsiding. He raised his eyes carefully, finding Kyuhyun already back at the corner, kicking the stereo set into silence.

“Actually,” he tried to speak again after clearing his throat, “it wasn’t bad in the actual sense of the word. It was just… weird.”

“Yeah, thanks for the input.”

“No, seriously.” Siwon rose to his feet and approached the younger boy, barely enough solemnity infused into his voice and expression—but then again, he was an aspiring actor. “Your hips. You should make them move without actually moving your legs. It’ll look better that way. And maybe you shouldn’t put your feet so wide apart. You looked like one of those guys from Chinese kung fu movies you like watching so much. To be honest, why don’t you ask Hyukjae? He’ll be able to help you more than I do.”

“You're the one I want to ask.” Kyuhyun pointed out acidly. “Wanted—before you decided to be mean and started laughing at me.”

Siwon simply had to grin again. “Anybody else would laugh too.”

“You’re not supposed to be just ‘anybody else’,” Kyuhyun shot back, eyes catching his for the briefest second—but before Siwon could even begin to dissect that statement, he had walked past him, heading toward the door.

It was reflex and reflex alone which allowed Siwon to react fast enough and catch his elbow. “Kyu,” he paused, swallowed, pinned by a glare, “you’re not… really mad, are you? I honestly didn’t mean to laugh.”

“I am mad.” Kyuhyun turned around, shrugging his hand away, and there was so much frustration pooling in his eyes that Siwon silently cursed his insensitivity all over again. “Just not at you. The concert’s one month from now and… it’s our first concert. If I this up–”

“Don’t say that,” Siwon quickly interrupted. “You’ll jinx it before you even begin to try.”

One corner of Kyuhyun’s lips twitched. “How do you know that it hasn’t been jinxed already?”

“I don’t, but we still have one month to find out, don’t we?”

“Right.” The younger boy sighed, a thin smile finally seeping through his sullenness. “Fine, you win. I’ll ask Hyukjae or Shindong to teach me."

"Do that. They'll be able to give you some pointers." 

"But one word about this from anyone else’s mouth and you’re going to find yourself murdered in your sleep.”

“Scout’s honour,” Siwon promised him gravely.

It was not until a week later that the subject came up again. Siwon found himself being dragged into the room Kyuhyun was sharing with Sungmin and promptly pushed toward the bed. “Sit,” the younger boy ordered curtly, his tone leaving absolutely no room for argument, and then spun toward his laptop.

A familiar song blared from the speakers and Siwon heroically stifled a grin. He was only too aware that if he managed to be an for the second time and laugh again, there was a good chance that the rest of the groups would only find bits and pieces of him floating down the Han River in a few weeks or so.

Then Kyuhyun began to move, eyes closed, head tilted back slightly—and the rest of the world ceased to make sense.

“So?”

Siwon blinked, mouth still half open. Kyuhyun had fallen into a squatting position and was now peering anxiously at his face. The song still played in the background, filling the room with its raucous beat, but Siwon’s entire concentration was focused on the boy crouching in front of him. He could not look away.

“Say something.” The note of panic in Kyuhyun’s voice was rapidly increasing.

“Sorry,” Siwon quickly said, finally rediscovering the mechanisms of his vocal chords. (It was possible that he had killed more than a few brain cells and perhaps even died a little somewhere between Kyuhyun’s swaying his hips and grabbing a handful of his hair, but it was neither here nor there.) “I was just,” he paused, surrendering a helpless smile, “well, speechless, I guess.”

Kyuhyun’s face paled. “Was it that bad?” he whispered, sounding so terrified that Siwon almost laughed. Instead, he donned a poker face.

“Bad? Yes, very. In fact, I can tell you that this is the worst sort of attempt at fishing for compliments. I expected more from you, Kyu.”

The younger boy’s eyes widened. “You mean,” he paused, swallowing nervously, and the only thing Siwon could think of was how much he wanted to hug him. “You mean I actually did it?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” he began slowly, not a flicker of any expression over his impassive mask. “Because no, you didn’t do it. You nailed it.”

There was a long moment of silence as Kyuhyun visibly struggled with himself. Siwon remained silent, watching legions of hope battling defensive arrays of disbelief in his friend’s eyes.

“Really?” The word was carried on a whisper, so light it almost did not reach Siwon’s ears.

“Wait here.”

He walked toward the door and grabbed Jongwoon and Donghae who were just outside in the living room to watch a repeat performance. Kyuhyun would probably maul him for this, but it was worth seeing the amazed expressions dawning on their friends’ faces.

“If I were a girl, I would’ve jumped you,” was Jongwoon’s solemn decree after a few seconds of dumbfounded pause.

“I’m not a girl and I’m going to jump you anyway,” Donghae announced with a huge grin on his face, and proceeded to do just that.
 


His hands could not stop shaking.

Kyuhyun descended the makeshift stairs slowly, then stopped at the base, still reeling from the force and strain of standing on an actual stage alone, with only Reyowook's piano accompaniment to underpin his singing. He tried to put on a smile on his stiff face, and felt it settle awkwardly on the curve of his lips, an intruder but not unwelcome. There was no word to describe a first concert, all the thrill, tension, rapture, and horror of it, all spun into a whirlwind of colours and heat and sounds. Even now, his skin still prickled under three layers of costume. It was a different world up there, amidst the screaming and the reverence and the adulation. A different, soaring existence.

“Kyu.”

He was about to turn around when a familiar pair of arms engulfed him in a tight hug. “You were amazing,” Siwon’s voice wafted above the noise coming from the arena. Kyuhyun felt his smile widening a notch.

“I know. Not bad for a first concert, right?”

“Well,” Siwon was stifling a grin—it was obvious from the marks left all over his voice, “to be honest it was actually Ryeowook’s piano that made it perfect. Here.”

“You’re such an ,” Kyuhyun muttered, nevertheless accepting the water bottle Siwon had brought him. The older boy only flashed him another grin as they listened to Yesung and Leeteuk conquering the stage with their duet.

“So how are you feeli–”

“Finish that question and this is going to land on your face.”

Siwon closed his mouth accordingly, glancing at the bottle now poised between Kyuhyun’s fingers, ready to realise the threat. Kyuhyun rolled his eyes in exasperation; it was the seventh time Siwon had inquired after his health since the beginning of the concert, and while the first two times might not have been entirely unwelcome—even sweet—the rest was simply insulting. He had just performed a solo, not running a marathon.

“But seriously, are you–”

“Choi Siwon,” he growled, eyes narrowed, “do I have to kiss you to make you shut up?”

This second threat worked—for about ten seconds, because Siwon soon found the courage to open his mouth again. “I’m worried,” he said defensively.

“And that is my business because?”

A reluctant smile broke over the older boy’s face. “If you can afford to be nasty, then I suppose you’re really alright.”

“Finally,” Kyuhyun mumbled, heaving a deep, exaggerated sigh. “Now go away. I need to concentrate for the next song.”

“Okay.” Siwon squeezed his shoulder and then bounded toward Kangin who was watching the performance on stage. Kyuhyun shook his head, amused; sometimes Siwon really reminded him of an eager, oversized puppy.

“You did sway a little on stage,” a soft but clear voice came from his aft, effectively cutting his train of thoughts. “During the last verse.”

Turning around, Kyuhyun smiled at the other boy. “You’re not going to tell on me, though, are you, Wookie?”

“No, but only because I think Siwon is being paranoid.”

“That’s exactly the word,” he muttered to himself.

“Which means that he cares.”

“Too much.”

“And that is a bad thing?”

Kyuhyun looked up, fast, but Ryeowook’s face was half concealed in shadows. Then the stage manager was calling them to get ready, and every other thread of thought simply dissolved before the pressure of going on stage once more.


End Chapter 3

 

 

Note: The story will continue in this vein until the next chapter, but after that, the real drama is beginning. Thank you for reading and please comment :D

Also, I have a tumblr now and I'm dying for some WonKyu friends over there xD Anyone? /puppy eyes

 

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sweetvils
#1
Chapter 5: I'm gonna do anything to continue reading your amazing fics!!! I'm waiting for many updates from you, you're a great author :D
Saravy #2
Chapter 5: Okie day! I already follow you on LJ, so it's all good.^^ Will you still be active on here? You're one of the reasons I came on here in zee first place.^^
WhiteAsian
#3
Chapter 5: umm.. i have an lj account but im not sure how to add you O_O thanks for letting us know though! I'll try and follow you there!
sweetvils
#4
Chapter 4: I really miss this story :( please update it, it's so great and I love it (:
sweetvils
#5
Chapter 4: Love thisssssss!!!! Waiting for more ^^
Saravy #6
Chapter 4: I don't even know what to say. This is perfection. XDDD

I love everything about this, but I'll have to say the dialogue is my favourite. I like how intelligent Siwon is. Some authors have Siwon being not stupid but not intelligent either, and it bothers me because irl he is. So I like how him and Kyu are equals in this regard. ^^ Also, the banter between Kyu and Sungmin in chap. 2 was perfect. I just like how in character everyone is and how real it is. XD

I just have so many feels for this and it's wonderful and great and fantastic! I have no complaints. XD I do wonder if Siwon has the same feels for Kyu as Kyu does for him. I don't think Kyu realizes his feelings yet, but I wonder if Siwon does? Hmmm...can't wait for further updates! I do hope you get back to this, I know you have a lot on your plate right now. ^^
temptryst
#7
Chapter 4: You know halfway through their ____ing, I was expecting them to push each other and just eat other's faces off...yeah, totally inappropriate and wtf moment because it wasn't even the right time or place. Don't judge me. ;_; XDDD
wonsugarkyu-b
#8
Chapter 3: “I’m not sick anymore, you know,” he pointed out sullenly.

“I know,” the older boy replied, a twinkle hidden in the field behind his eyes. “You’re just less healthy than the rest of us.”


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