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I knew that something was wrong the moment I looked into their eyes. Gods dressed in their white coats with their faces
as stiff as stone. One of them spoke letting his words taste like the bitter medicine that they had given you all this time along.
It's too late they said. There was no way that you could be the normal girl I used to know. The trauma has taken the better
of you and is now holding your once so radiant self locked inside a deep dark cage.

''Ah, you're here again, Sungjong-sshi.'' The woman at the reception desk greeted me as I walked in. ''Good morning, Emma.''
I greeted her with a weak smile. ''You're always the first to arrive. She's in her room. I suppose you know the way?'' I nodded
and thanked her before turning around to walk towards the long staircase which led downstairs into your dungeon.

The darkness surrounded me at first and I had the familiar cold shiver that ran down my spine. With each step I took I
remembered how we had met when we were innocent children at the age of 12.

''Hey! Stop hurting her!'' I shouted as I ran up to the group of boys who were bullying you. You were clearly
surprised that someone would come and help you.''What do you want Sungjong? This is a man's matter. You should go back
to the girls and help them with their clothing!'' One of them shouted. His words were followed by laughter from the other.
''That's not true! Sungjong is a man!'' You shouted which earned you a harsh kick in your thigh. You fell to your knees
clutching onto your leg. ''Haha, you are so stupid! He isn't a man! He's a fagot! A transvestite! Just look at him!'' More laughter
followed and I balled my fists. ''No! That's not true!'' You kept shouting. I had totally forgotten that I was actually here to safe
you but now it was the other way around. The boys laughter died down and the eldest stepped up. ''You say he's a
man? Prove it!'' You gulped and stood up slowly tumbling towards me. I caught your hands so that you wouldn't
fall down face first.

The laughter erupted again. ''You okay?'' I whispered and you just weakly nodded. ''Show us your man!'' One of them shouted
and you glanced back once before focusing on me. You hesitated at first but then you placed your hands over my
cheeks, cupping my face. You tip toed and placed your lips on mine. Stealing my first kiss.

I had to smile remembering how much both of us had blushed after that kiss. The boys had left us alone since then, not
even saying anything bad about me or you. It was as if the school belonged to only us. From that incident on we became
good friends. Always being happy whenever the littlest things happened.

I passed some doors which each had a number to it. Yours was on the end of that long hallway. I had to walk a lot to get there.
You were kept away like a dangerous animal. It made me laugh bitterly all the time.

''Sungjong, Sungjong, Sungjong! Look! I got accepted at Mandy Arts University!'' You squealed happily as you jumped up
and down holding the white paper with the news written on it tightly in your hands. ''Let me see.'' I said and took the paper
out of your hands. ''We are very glad to accept you at our university.'' I read out loud and you laughed louder. ''Sounds like
they really liked your application. Congrats.'' I said and hugged you tightly. ''What about you? Any news?'' You asked taking
the paper back into your hands. I shook my head, no, I didn't get anything. Although I applied to many universities not a
single one had sent a letter back to me. But I hoped to get into the same as you. I didn't want to get separated from you.

''Don't worry. I'm sure they'll write back soon.'' You ruffled my hair. ''Ice cream?'' I chuckled. ''If you pay.'' You nodded
and we headed for the next grocery store to get some ice cream.

I arrived in front of a big glass door. I saw my refection in it and immediately let out a bitter laugh. I had changed so
much in the past year it left even me in great shock. Those dark rings underneath my eyes, the wrinkles on my forehead
and even my whole body looked thinner than ever. I was once known for my prefect appearance. Being envied even by
girls for my flawless skin but now it seemed like time had clearly not spared me from getting older.

My steps grew heavier as I slowly walked through the now opened door. Above me there was a sign. Telling everyone
how your dungeon was called. I didn't even dare to speak out that disgusting word. It sounded so wrong but yet you
had to be there for you own good.

I closed my eyes for a short minute to prepare myself for what was awaiting me. But instead of calming down I could
only think about you. Your smile, your laughter, your soft being.

''It was huge! I mean – there were so many students!'' You told me as you begun to talk about your first day at university.
I could only smile and listen to your exciting story. The glow in your eyes was mesmerizing and hypnotic. I could only stare
into those chocolate brown eyes of yours. ''...and there was this boy who helped me with my schedule.'' My attention was
drawn back to you as you begun to talk about that helpful boy. ''He said that he's already in his final semester.
His name is Sunggyu.'' You smiled so brightly that it hurt. You were thinking about that Sunggyu guy in another way.
 

You liked him, didn't you?

I shook my head not wanting to remember that certain event. Straightening up I continued walking down the
hallway. My ears met the terrible groans and screams from the other prisoners. They were too kept inside of this dungeon.

''Sungjong, this is Sunggyu-oppa. Sunggyu-oppa, this is my best friend Sungjong.'' You introduced us and we awkwardly
shared some looks before bowing politely. ''Nice to meet you.'' He said and according to his voice I could hear that he was
definitely studying music. His voice was special and it had something melodic to it. That day the three of us had met at a
Ramen shop to get some good things to eat and to get to know each other better. I saw how he had looked at you.
He saw you as a woman. A potential next target for whatever he had in mind.

If I had just known earlier what he had in mind I would have killed him right there at that very spot. Anger formed inside of
my body like it always did whenever I remembered that day. I clenched my fists trying to calm down I breathed out shakily.
Opening my eyes again I continued walking.

''I can't believe it! We're together!'' You squealed as you told me the defeating news. Yes, that day had been one
of the worst days of my life. You being together with that older guy made my own heart fall apart into million
little pieces. ''Congratulations.'' I said sounding clearly hurt but of course you didn't notice because you were too
happy about your own luck.

Tears begun to form in my eyes as I remembered that day. He had confessed to you in a romantic way.
Something that I wanted to do, too, but since he stepped into our little world I was pushed away. It had been
yours and his world until he had decided to banish you from your own world with his own hands.

Shaking my head I quickened my steps to get to your room faster. I passed some doctors on my way
and quickly but politely greeted them. Everyone knew me here because I was a daily visitor. There was
not a single day where I would miss visiting you in your dungeon.

''Sungjong, it's me.'' You said as soon as I picked up the phone. It was 2 am and I had a very important test later which
I shouldn't mess up because of lack of sleep. ''What's wrong?'' I asked being fully awake as I heard your sobbing.
You sniffed a few times trying to calm down. ''...can I come over?'' You asked and I agreed immediately not even
asking what had happened. I was sure that you'd tell me as soon as you were with me.

You came after a few minutes hugging me tightly as soon as I opened the door. ''What happened?'' I asked being
totally shocked at your puffy, red eyes. ''We had a fight.'' You mumbled against my shirt. I dragged you inside making
sure that we wouldn't wake up my parents. We walked up to my room and you sat down on my bed with your arms
tightly around yourself. ''Isn't it normal to have fights with your boyfriend?'' - Yes, it was normal. You two had been
fighting a lot these past days but never did you come over with that kind of face. Shaking your head you refused to
tell me more about what had happened. I stood there in front of you not even knowing what to say or what to do.
I just wrapped my arms around your fragile body hugging you tightly.

You calmed down after a few minutes and fell asleep next to me on my bed.

I let out a shaky sigh as I arrived in front of your room, your prison, your cage. There was a small slit through
which people could have a look behind the door. I saw you right away in your favorite spot.

Before opening the door I stopped in my tracks as I tried to gather all of my thoughts and try to lock them away while
being with you. I knew that each of my thoughts had the power to hurt me and you. My words had to be wisely chosen
and not randomly spilled. I swallowed hard as the tears in my eyes threatened to fall out. I should have been used
to it – seeing you here locked inside against your own will. But you couldn't decided about what was right and wrong
anymore. You were banished from your world. Building up a new one was too difficult for you. That was the reason
why they kept you here. This was your new world. A transit you'd never escape, a transit without an end.

I wiped away the tears which had escaped and made sure to look as normal as possible before opening the door.

''Look, he bought me a new pair of shoes and said that he was sorry.'' You told me a few days after that big fight
you had with him. Apparently he had found a way to lure you back into his arms. A new pair of shoes, ridiculous.
I watched as you naively talked about him. How nice he was and how caring. But all this time I had a bad feeling about
him but instead of doing something I just masked it as simple jealousy. I was jealous that he got you instead of me.

''Jiyeon.'' I called out your name as softly as my lips allowed and you turned around. You were sitting at the corner
with your legs crossed. You smiled but it wasn't the smile of the old you. It was the smile of a broken toy. I sat
down in front of you not even caring that my pants got dirty with the dust which lay on the ground for too long.
I watches as you stretched your arms holding up a small teddy bear that I had given you a few month ago.
''Here.'' You said with a voice that sounded so strange in my ears.

I took the bear and begun to play with it like a puppet master. ''How are you today, Jiyeon?''
I asked imitating the voice of a cartoon character. You clapped your hands being totally excited.
''Good, good!'' You squealed and giggled afterwards.

I couldn't bare to see you like that. The you who was in front of me was a different person. It wasn't you.
I hid my face behind the bear letting out a shaky sob. I knew that it was the worst thing to do – to cry in
front of you – but I couldn't keep it in any longer. The more I heard you the more I had to swallow
inside of me. I was about to explode.

''...Sungjong!'' You shouted for the hundredth time that day. My name was the only thing that escaped your
blood stained mouth. They had found you in the forests being tied up to an old tree with blood coming out of
almost everywhere on your body. I was one of them who had found you after a good week of looking for you
after you hadn't returned back home. I knew that something was wrong.

I looked down at you not being able to recognize you. He had done disgusting things to you. Not even satisfied
with that he had also destroyed your once beautiful face. But what was crushed the most was you
soul. You were now an outcast – banished from your reality.

I couldn't look at your face anymore. I silently sat there not even holding onto your once so warm hands.
I was as dead as you. But different than you I knew the fact that I was dead. I knew that I was not the same as before.

Your sobs made me look up and I saw your terribly hurt expression. You cried so hard that you coughed and
to be honest it scared me. I backed away as I once again saw what he had done to you. You begun to scream.
You shouted words that I couldn't understand. Nurses came in and plunged in a few syringes with medicine into
your veins. You calmed down but I knew that from now on my visit was over.

''I'm sorry, Sungjong. But you can stay. I'm sure she'll somehow know that you are here with her.'' One of
them said patting my back after carrying you to your bed and cuffing your hands to the bed.

I kneed down next to your bed taking your hand in mine. ''I love you.'' I whispered and pressed my lips
on your forehead. Your mouth was slightly opened and I noticed that you drooled. I took a tissue and
wiped it away. Your eyes were open and stared at the ceiling. Yes, the trauma had taken the better of
you and it destroyed you completely.

A few hours later I left. Walking back up the stairs I left with so many tears. Yours and mine. I cried for you and
I cried myself. The feeling of being not able to help you out of this mess tore me apart. I couldn't even count the
times where I just sat there next to you thinking about ending both of our terrible lives. But I knew that there
could be a tiny chance to restore your world and make it ours again.

I left your dungeon which they called asylum.

{END}