We're been dating for almost a year now and everything seems so perfect... I can't even ask for more... I'm so much contented knowing that he's always next to me and loving me truly...

We seldom have misunderstandings but before the day ends, we fix things and making things clear...

It's our first year anniversarry and I'm expecting him to greet me first since he's always the first one who will make the greetings. For  the past eleven months of us dating he always surprised me... doing simple things that will make me feel happy, contented and bless.

He didn't make a call nor a text... I can't take my eyes off of my cellphone waiting for a call and text but none... Dinner comes but still no presence of him... Disappointment strikes as well pain in my chest. I didn't take my dinner and locked myself in my room.

Lot of thoughts coming in my mind; like, he might have sick, he might get involve in car accident since he has his four wheels,  he might busy because of tight schedule in school, or he just simply don't remember this important day of our lives.

Deciding to make a call but his phone was off... sending text messages will absolutely useless... I decided to have a walk outside just to clear my mind and suddenly decided to drop by to his place thinking he might have sick.

I didn't notice the tears in my eyes as I stood in the dark spot near his place. I can't even make a step.

He just walked out from his place with a girl who's arm wrapped around him. Both of them is smiling happily... He's obviously having fun. Then, the girl kissed him. My heart shattered down... My world stops from revolving as a feeling of being betrayed by this world of mine.

The whole night, the image of them kissing stuck in my mind, I can't sleep and I just cry in silence. I can't even make a loud sound, I can't shout... afraid that the people around me will hear me. I can't think of any reasons why the hell on earth he will do that to me... At the end, I just let myself believe that I'm the one who is at fault. The love I show for him is not really enough to make him love me forever... I didn't know that I fall asleep.

***

Knocks on my bedroom's door awake me...

"Baby, you'll be late in school" I heard a voice from my brother. Hardly open my swollen eyes.

My brother send me off to school and I didn't saw him waiting for me in the school's gate. I'm expected this thing already but I just can't help to feel the pain. I made my way to my classroom alone. As I walk in, I noticed him and a girl last night is sitting next to him-- in my place, they're chatting happily... A knife stabs on my chest.

He probably feel my presence and look up, he got surprised but smile to me brightly, I fakely smile. The girl looks up too and make a smile.

"I'll have to go back to my seat." She said and leave my place. I take my seat silently. I have no strength to talk. I didn't talk for the whole time of class and he seems doesn't has any care at all. He's too absorb... I let him be. I decided not to take my lunch since I have no appetite, I stayed in library trying to clear my mind about what I witnessed last night and tried really hard to keep myself busy in reading random books.

"There you are. I've been looking for you" I suddenly hear his voice. He takes the seat next to me. I stayed quiet.

"I'm sorry last night. My phone's battery is dead and I forgot to re-charge it." He explained out of the blue.

"It's alright." I said even I know that it's really not. Even that the fact is I'm truly hurt and it kills me because of too much pain.

"I'll make it up today." He said smiling even I can't see the smile on his face, I can sense it. I never dare look at his face.

"Fine." I shortly said.

***

Class hours end and he told me to wait him in school's gate and I did. I want to forget what I saw last night and keep going on my life, on the happy relationship I have with him. I won't tell him that I saw him with her kissing. I'll keep it with myself.

I smiled seeing him making his way to me but the smile easily fades away--he's with her...

"Is it all right if we keep her in our company?" he worriedly asked me and I just make a nod. He smiles brightly to me. He's holding my hand while we're walking while she's next to him and chatting happily. I feel left out and keep myself in silence the whole time. I just listened to their conversation although I can't relate. He's holding my hand but it feels nothing.

After hanging out with them, we send her off first before he sends me off to my place. There's no words coming out from our lips. Just now, I just found out that they used to date and it lasted three years... Just now I learned that she's his first love...

Days pass and I noticed how happy he was being with her. I knew it clearly that the love they have for each other never fade. I just realized that he never ceased loving her. He always love her even I'm his girlfriend now. I just realized how martyr I am letting him to do whatever he wants to, letting him be...

One day I woke up and realized that we don't have really time for each other now, that we missed lot of things about us. I feel like I'm the only one who's in love.

***

"Why?" that's the only question he asked me. I didn't look at his eyes, I don't want to feel the pain.

"It's grandma's last wish." I told him

Today, I told him that I'm leaving the country. That I'm going to drop from school. Grandma is really sick and her last wish is to see all of her grandchildren. My dad wants me to stay with my grandma's place and continue my studies there so I can keep my grandma in my company... my cousins wanted me there too.

I hardly think about it and I ended up deciding to leave. I will leave, end the relationship I had with him and move on.

"There's no need to break-up if you'll come back" he told me looking at me.

I smiled. A fake smile.

"There's no need for us to keep the relationship that it seems never exist" I told him, looking straightly in his eyes. His eyes are full of question of why's and sadness is written in there too.

"What do you mean?" he asked me.

"I'm glad if you'll be happy. This past few days I realized that we're not really meant to be... I thought we're happy... and yes, we were for the first eleven months we shared together and when our first year anniversarry I didn't expect you to forgot it because I'm expecting you to greet me first and prepared a little surprise for me.... and actually you did.... you surprised me to the point that I became breatheless.... No phone calls, no text messages... I was damn worried that you might get sick so I decided to dropped by to your place to check on you but I saw you... happy... with her... I saw you kissing her and it really breaks my heart."

He was speechless....

"I keep myself in silence and hoping that you will tell me those things. I'm not expecting you to be faithful but I'm expecting you to be loyal at least but then whenever I'm with you... with her as well... I feel left out... I just can't feel that you were actually with me during those times. I'm martyr enough and I just can't help it... I love you and I will let you to be happy. I know that ending our relationship will lead you to the real happiness that you're looking for." I ended my speech. Looking at him with tears in my eyes but I forcely make a smile. Showing no regrets at all...

It was the last time we talked, the last time we saw each other... I didn't give him a hug before leaving. I didn't bother saying bye.

***

Three years passed and I'm back.

I'm having a walk around the mall that I really missed so bad. Being too absorb looking around I didn't notice someone is on my way which I bumped to.

"I'm sorry... My bad," I apologized not looking the person who I'm bumped with.

"You're too absorb, Yuri." a familiar voice-- I looked up seeing Yunho looking straightly at me with a smile on his face.

I can't search a word to say... I just look at him... Realization hits me... I missed him... I missed his face, his smile and everything about him... I didn't stop loving him... I forced a smile.

"I guess you're right. I can't help it." I told him and my eyes keep looking around.

"Right. And I also can't help it watching you from a far." he told me. he looks deeply in me and I feel like I'm an ice that anytime will melt. "When did you come back?"

"Couple of weeks ago..." I answered him.

"I missed you." He suddenly told me. He holds my hands and pulls me into a tight hug. "I missed you so bad."

I let myself go. "Who's with you?"

"Just me."

"Oh..."

"Yuri?" A voice from behind-- Siwon...

He's the one who helped me to move on, to forgets the painful memories I had with Yunho. He's the only guy who stands next to me whenever I feel alone. He decided to come with me back to my country just to keep me in his company, to make sure that I'll be fine.

"I find this pretty, don't you think?" he said smiling showing me a pink dress.

I smiled nodding my head. "Yeah it is. Is that for me?"

"Of course. I know I have a great taste" He said proudly. I rolled my eyes and he laughed. But his laugh died when he noticed Yunho. He's looking at him.

"Oh, did I interrupt?" Siwon asked in worried tone. I smile and shook my head saying no.

"He's an old friend." and I introduced them to each other. Siwon had a grateful expression meeting Yunho while Yunho has a flat  face. He looks at me questioning me.

"Is he your boyfriend?"

I can't answer his question because I don't know wat to answer. I just don't know. Siwon just confessed his love for me couple of months ago.. I didn't reject him but I didn't accept him too. He accepted the friendship I offered and I'm glad.

"Yuri and I actually have to go. We need to find a dress for her for her cousin's birthday" Siwon declared and take my hand and start walking away, leaving Yunho behind. I didn't look back.

***

"You still in love with him..." It's not a question but a statement. I find myself spacing out when he is talking non-stop.

"I don't know"

"Yes you are."

"I don't want to talk about it"

"You have to."

"I missed him that's all"

"Did you tell him?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"I don't know"

"You have to voice out"

"It might hurts me."

"Tsk. Hurts? It's more hurt not telling him your feelings."

"What should I do?"

"Tell him"

"And what if he's happy with her?"

"Move on again at least you tell him, right?"

I looked at him and he smiles warmly.

"Why you're being like this?" I asked him. Again, he smiled.

"Because I want to see the one I love happy. And you know that I love you... I don't want to see you sad. I don't want you to regret the things you didn't do. And always remeber that whenever you're hurt I'm still here standing next to you... You have my shoulders and You have me." he said truthfully.

***

It's afternoon and I'm stuck in a cafe shop because of it hardly rain outside. I watched the rain falls outside... It's like my tears... The tears I had for him the whole year after the break-up. It falls non-stop and uncontrollable.

"Enjoying?" It made me look to the person who's standing at my side. It's Yunho. He takes the seat in front of mine and we're facing each other.

"Why alone?" he asked.

"He's busy helping my brother fixing something" I said.

"Are you happy?" he asked me with a serious tone.

"Are you happy?" I returned the question to him.

"I'm not." he answered me looking deeply in me.

"I see."

"Mind to ask me why?"

"Why?"

"Because you didn't bid bye. Because you didn't even mind keeping in touch with me. Because you left me. Because I hurt you so bad. Because I'm stupid letting you go. Because I can't sleep thinking of you. Because you never leave my mind--"

"Enough that because" I cut him off. His eyes never leave mine.

"I regretted that day."

"It happened already. Move on."

"I can't"

"You can if you will believe"

"Even still I can't."

"Move on."

"I can't."

"Forget me"

"I can't"

"There's nothing help I can offer you in that case."

"There is."

"Huh?"

"Be with me again."

"Are you crazy?"

"Yes. Because I let you go. Because I let you decide. Because I never ceased loving you. Because I let the past over me. Because I let myself believe in lies."

"Too late"

"It's not."

"It is."

"Yunho..."

"I love you" he said. And I can feel it. I can feel the sincerity, the passion in his eyes. He holds my hand and squeezed it tightly.

"I love you" he said it once more.

I didn't notice the tears until I feel his hand wiped it off. I didn't notice him next to me. I find myself in his arms. He wraps me in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered. I let myself gets lock on his arm. I wanted to feel the warm of his embrace.

***

"Happy anniversarry!" I woke up feeling his kisses all over my face. I pushed him away wanting to get more sleep but it's useless. He places his self in top of me and continue showering me with kisses...

"You have to wake up and take breakfast while it stills warm... I prepared it." he said not stopping kissing me.

"Go away!" pushed him away.

"Get up!" he whines like a kid. I open my eyes welcoming by his face-- his handsome face and sweetly smiling at me.

"It's our anniversarry...come on... while Yuna stills in dreamland of hers..."

"I'll get up so get off me"

"Fine." he smiles brightly...

As I get up, He attacks my lips in a deep passion kiss. I can't help but to response in his kiss with the same passion... with love... After awhile he let go of me and he kissed my forehead.

"Happy anniversarry, baby..." He greeted me. I sweetly smiled at him giving him a sweet peck on his lips.

"Happy anniversarry..." I greeted him back.

"Let's grab our breakfast before our sweet angel wakes up."

I nodded.

We're been married for two years exactly and everything seems so perfect. After what happened in cafe shop, I give him and also myself a second chance to start the romantic relationship we had and it lasted five years. On our fifth year anniversarry, he made a surprise marriage proposal which I teary accepted. After a year of planning the marriage we finally take our vows and promise to love, to care and to protect each other in front of everyone.

After being married for eight months a great gift and blessing came... It's Yuna, our first baby... the angel of our lives... The one who completes us as a family...