‘What will it be like when this ends?’ I thought as I wondered the dorm, the rest of the members on the couch in our living room.

Lately, we hadn’t really had much of a schedule and no matter how peaceful it was, I couldn’t help but be worried. None of the others had really thought about it, but us not having schedules was obviously not as good as it was bad. The thing that worried me the most was the look on our manager’s face lately; it was almost cold.

“Seungho-hyung, what’s bothering you?” Byunghee approached.

I pulled a smile. “It’s nothing, I was just thinking about how peaceful it’s been.”

“You too? It’s really great, I think we really needed a good break like this.”

“We have one more schedule today, by the way. Make sure to tell the others.” I said, giving him a light pat on the back as I walked towards his and my own shared room to rest.

                Around four ‘o’ clock, we went to our last and second schedule of the day, which was a photo shoot for menswear. It went over pretty simply, as we were used to this sort of thing after 3 or so years. After a while, we were given permission to change back into our regular clothing and leave. So, after bowing and saying goodbye and thank you, we went back out to the van, me climbing into my usual spot in the passenger seat.

“Kids, I need to tell you something.” Manager-hyung said after we buckled our seatbelts.

He almost looked troubled and sad.

“However, please understand that this wasn’t my decision, it wasn’t even the president’s.” he said, looking over toward me, before returning his gaze to his lap.

We all nodded in confusion, shuffling uncomfortably in our seat due to the winter breeze that could be felt even in the van.

“You’re going to have to disband.” He said, stuttering a bit, his eyes wet.

None of us responded for over a minute, unsure of whether he was acting. Despite this, I could see water in the other member’s eyes. Even if it had been a joke, it was cruel.

“Hyung…you’re joking right?” Mir said, tears already wetting his red cheeks.

We all knew he wasn’t joking and that this day was going to come, but that didn’t change the feeling of something being run over in our hearts. Perhaps it was the realization that after this, we wouldn’t have each other. We wouldn’t have singing, or a stage that welcomed us. But the thing that hit us the hardest was that ‘forever’ never came true.

“Hyung.” I repeated a bit louder, urging for the answer we already knew.

“No, it’s real. I’m sorry, boys, it wasn’t my decision.” He said weakly.

Even though we already knew, hearing it confirmed hurt even more. I glanced behind me, Joon and Mir were crying softly into their sleeves as Byunghee and Thunder buried their heads into their knees, shoulders shaking slightly. A familiar sour feeling formed in my eyes, and I immediately felt the salty liquid on my cheeks. I buried my face into my hands, a small cry escaping my lips. Our manager muttered a last sorry and started the car, heading towards the dorm.

Climbing out of the van, we all look at each other’s desperate faces. Mir was crying the hardest right now, the rest of us desperate for someone to pop out and yell, “Gotcha!” But we knew it wouldn’t happen.

On our way up the elevator, Mir had calmed down to quiet sobs.

“Hyung, what happened to ‘forever’?” he mumbled, at least loud enough for all of us to hear.

What he said seemed to have struck the members, as I saw Joon and Thunder wipe their swollen eyes once more.

I threw on a small smile, “It’s still there, Mir, we’ll all stay just as close.”

He nodded slightly and looked forward, but I knew he hadn’t believed me. None of us had, because we all knew that no matter if we texted, or called, or even met up; we wouldn’t be happy with it. Because there would be no MBLAQ, or fans, not even the friends we had made during our short three years together. I wouldn’t be the leader and Mir wouldn’t be the maknae. After this, we would have to rewind; before our dreams came true and the start of our beautiful memories together. It would never change the amount of pain our hearts went through though.