Himchan used to love me. I loved him back too. Too much so, until it hurts. When he told me he loved someone else, i lost it. Right then and there, i broke down. I tried begging him, i tried clinging on but he just shoved me aside. I decided then, that i would make him regret. 

I left everything behind. I changed my style, i changed my face and i even got a new name. I came back, but he knew. Right from the start. It took everything i had in me to stop myself from wanting to kiss him again and beg him to take me back. But then again, i wasn't who i used to be. I wanted revenge. I wanted to make him fall for me again. But the plan didn't fall through. 

I met someone else. He was beyond beautiful, the way he spoke gave me the chills, in a good way. Daehyun, that was what he said his name was. It wasn't long before we started dating. He was everything to me. We were about to start our life together, happily. But then, i saw him again, with another man. That man....he had the same name as i used to have. They were hugging and kissing, my heart lurched and it started to waver. Memories of our past, memories that i threw away crept back. Images of us, having the best days of our life, just cuddling and enjoying each others presence. I couldn't help myself. Sure, I did love Daehyun, but he just wasn't Himchan. 

I started feeling jealous when I saw  him together with that man. They looked...so loving. I didn't know what pushed me to ask him but I did. "Do you love him?" I mustered up all my courage just to mumble those few words. He just looked at me with that same exact look he had when we broke up. He said that the way he loved me and the way he loved that man was completely different. He gave me his heart, and i selfishly accepted it, knowing that I can't.  I couldn't because i had Daehyun.

Then, it came a time where Daehyun wasn't able to spend time with me and so I went on trips with Himchan. It was a bad idea. Himchan kissed me, on our first trip back. It took all i had to not kiss him back, constantly reminding myself that I had Daehyun. The rest of the trip back home was in silence. Neither of us spoke nor moved. It killed me inside, that was when i learnt just how loud silence could be.