From all member, why should him?

Why I have to fall in love with the most easy going, yet the most beautiful person in Exo?

Luhan hyung

It was love at the first sight

It was the first day of trainee. I met him and the other member at the practice room.

Since then I know I have fall head over heels with him

Is it his smile? Is it his fair skin? Is it his round eyes that turned big everytime he feels excited for something? Is it his voices? I don't know. All I know I loved everything about him.

He have this 'sincere' personality. He always taking care all of us. He will be worried to death if one of us got sick or injuried during our dance practice. Frankly say, everyone loves him and he loves everyone. As his family.

And for me, that was the biggest problem

                            ¤¤

As the magnae of Exo, I had all of my hyungs eyes of me. They treat me as their youngest brother ofcourse. Even tough I try to look cool and calm, but I loved when they pampering me. Specially when it was luhan hyung.

I used this 'magnae things' to get his attention. I always asked him to go and buy bubble tea near our dorm every day. Just the two of us.

Then I will cling onto him, wrapped my hand on his. Walking hand in hand with him. Talking about everything then laugh for nothing.

On the other side, I try to show him my protective side. I will always on his side when members had an argued. I will be there and gave him my shoulder to cry on when he missed his family in china. I will taking care of him when he's break on exhausted because our busy schedule. 

One night, I give him a hint, I kissed his forehead before sleep and say "I love you hyung".

He stared at me, then gave me his sweetest smile and say "Hyung love you too uri-magnae, now go to sleep"

That night I felt my heart sank. I know he's not seeing me as a man. He seeing me as his dongsaeng. His magnae.

He was so blind!

After that night, I'm trying to take a distances from him. I found my self practiced so hard everyday. It's not only because our debut day almost coming, it's also because I want him to missed me.
                             
                              ¤¤

One day after dance practice session with Kai, Tao and Yixing hyung, we back to our dorm when I saw another members already gathered in living room. There was this unussual atmosphere around them.

"Finally, you guys home, have a seat Lay, Tao, Kai, Sehun" Joonmyun hyung break the silence

"What happened hyung?" Kai asked him, his eyes frowned.

"Me and Kris just got back from SMe building...We have to tell you guys something" everyone look to each other with confusion

"Management had a decision, and it was final" Suho hyung sighed with a deep breath, his eyes glued to his shoes, I feel something's wrong

"They will devide us into two team, Exo-K and Exo-M, six member per group" now is kris gege speaking "K members will have korea as their market, while M members will have china" he continued

Sudenly everyone shouted their objection

"what???"
"so we will be separated?"
"why they doing this to us??"
"It can't be!!"

Suho stood, his eyes red because the tears, "It was final guys, I'll explained the details now...All of Chineese member will put on Exo-M along with Chen and Xiumin, Kris will be the leader..."

I'm not hearing anything anymore, as if my ears deaf. I'm searching to his eyes, and found him staring at me in worried expression, I ran to my room, didn't care if everyone calling my name in unison.

No, I'm not crying. But I do feel numb. I can't imagined how it feels not to see him around every day?

For now, I don't care if he only see me as his brother, as his dongsaeng, his magnae, I don't care! I can bare with it! But please, don't take him away from me.

                              ¤¤

That day finally comes. We finally debuted. After Exo Seoul Showcase. Now we're heading to hotel after doing another showcase in China. Tomorrow Exo-K will be back to korea while Exo-M will stayed here to promoted our mini album. 

After this night, only God and company knows when we will be able to see each others again.

I shared my room with luhan hyung like we always did. I saw him laying down on the other side of our bed.

Sudenly I feel the urged to tell him what I feel inside, it's 'now or never' chance.

"Luhan hyung..." I patted his shoulder

"Mmm?" He turned his head facing me

"Hyung, I'll be back to seoul tomorrow" I started. "I'll be missed you there hyung"

He stare at me, "I know sehunnie, I'll be missing you too here" he smiling while cares my hand

I'm holding back my tears, I feel my heart hurt, I don't want to be apart from him.

Luhan hyung get up from the bed then put himself seat beside me "Don't be sad sehunnie, i'll texted you every day, you are my favorite dongsaeng after all, so I wouldn't let you feeling lonely, okay?"

I shockingly stare at him, his favorite dongsaeng, that's all?

"Sehunnie? What's wrong? Why you staring at me?"

"No..nothing hyung"

"I tell you this, I promise, when we'll be able to back to seoul, I'll treat you bubble tea, every day how 'bout that?"

I nooded weakly

"Now, it's late already, let's sleep magnae"

He jumped to his side and start to sleep

I put my headset on as I lay down to the bed.

'My heart is cracked, cut and broken. At the end of a rough day when I am broken into pieces, you would be able to see me'

My mp3 played our sunbae songs, blind.

I bit my lips to hold my tears...

Love wasn't blind. It was the person.