“I am so stupid. I really am stupid.” Dongshin hit his head a few times. They were both inside a small coffee shop sitting opposite each other. “I’m so stupid. Why am I like this?” He said.

“Stop it.” Ji Eun said with a blank face.

“Damn why did I ever let you go?” He looked at her with full longingness. “Why did I even take you for granted at first? I just regret doing everything, and I’m not lying. I even hate the fact I have to admit it in front of you.” He uttered. “Look here.” He sat properly and placed both his hands clasped together on the table. “I’m not saying this to make you come back to me. No, I think you suffered too much already, and I realized what I did was unforgivable, so I guess if you tell me you still cannot forgive me despite the fact that you tell me you already did, I will understand.”

“Just get to the point already, you’re hanging me off!” Dongshin’s eyes widened as he heard her yelled a bit loud.

“I never thought you knew how to yell.” He uttered as a side comment. “And the fact that you don’t even allow me say the things I want to say first, do you really hate me that much?” He shrugged and tilted his head, “Well if I were in your place I could have killed this devil guy.” He said talking to himself. “I didn’t know it was really her who called. I just found out when I met her on SM Company. It was the safest place, away from those fan that would see us together if ever. I really thought a friend was playing prank on me, until I saw that Jessica Jung in real life.” He said.

“Je- Jessica?” She uttered cluelessly. “SNSD Jessica?” She said and sighed, “Haayyy… Why do you have to tell me this? What does she have to do with me?”

“Stu-“ Dongshin just bit his lip when he was about to say such word, “Let me think of other term to call you. Right. Ignorant. She’s your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s sister. Don’t you even know that?”

Ji Eun shook her head innocently.

“She’s Krystal Jung’s older sister.” Dongshin said. “I can’t believe I’m still telling you this stuff. You have to at least know your rival and the things she does… just like how Minho did to me before stealing you.” He said and chuckled, “I found out he investigated me so he found out where I lived and quickly went over there to knock me off when he knew you needed some help.” He segued.

“What did the two of you talked about?” Right now, Ji Eun doesn’t care about all the side statements Dongshin was currently saying. She’s not used of him being so talktative, but she can let this pass because she really needs to know what’s up.

“I don’t know where did she ever figure out I’m your ex boyfriend. The hell with her for knowing my mobile, too.” He said. “Do you want to take revenge on Ji Eun for leaving you? I’ll help you. The freaking hell with that woman when she said something she doesn’t even know. From her tone, I knew something was up, so I went along with her craze until I discovered she’s up for a revenge to help her sister.”

Ji Eun was just looking…

“The day I went to the clinic to apologize and ask for forgiveness… that is because my conscience is bothering me too much already, and I think I need to tell you what’s happening, but you seemed very cold and distant, something that I never thought would happen. You were always warm and sweet towards me, until I realized I was forgetting you’re not mine now. After saying sorry, I had to walk away. I was a bit sad and disappointed…”

“Then that freakin’ Jessica had called me several times, asking me to go to you and lure you into coming back to me. I told her to stop because I’m not that childish anymore… but the freakin’ Jessica told me I’m useless and pathetic?!” He said angrily. “I don’t care if she’s a member of SNSD or any freakin’ group, okay? The fact that she’s crazy and a freakin’ freak, I couldn’t contain her on my nerves. She’s one crazy , and thought I haven’t talked to the freakin’ krystal, for sure she has the same attitude.” He said.

“Why are you telling all this to me? You could have just followed what they want and take revenge on me.” She uttered.

“See? You’re asking now because you didn’t allow me to talk much about how I feel a while ago. I realize your worth the moment you left me. I realize how stupid I am for not taking care of you. I realize how lucky I could be if really got to marry you, but I let you go. Isn’t it crazy? How I started being better when the woman I loved so much left and I know I can’t ger her back again? I can even shout to everybody I love you so much, but it’s hard to think of taking you away from the person you really love, and I know that stupid guy loves you as much, but darn if you’re hurting because of him can you just leave him alone? Find better guy. I would love it if you choose me again but of course I know you wouldn’t.”

Ji Eun smiled.

“What I am doing right now… staying beside Minho when I know it would hurt a lot… I did that for you for four years to be honest.”

Dongshin’s reaction suddenly changed.

“Because of you… I learned how to love without asking for something in return. I learned to give without taking anything… I learned to sacrifice without expecting anything back. You taught me how to be carefree of my feelings, expressing it everytime I want to and when I feel like it. For four years, I endured the pain of being ignored by you… because I believed that I love you pretty much that I can do anything, until I met Minho, and he was the one who made me feel how to be loved. He made me feel that having something in return of what I am giving is way way much better than just giving off something. If I ever endured it with you who did not give anything back, why wouldn’t I do the same, or even better, with Minho?”

“Ouch.” Dongshin shook his head. “Araso… I understand well.” He smiled and looked at her, “I’m glad I’ve hurt you then. If I didn’t plan on doing that then you’re still on my side right now passing the chance of being with someone better.”

“Aniya.” Ji Eun shook her head and was finally able to smile. “If it didn’t happen then I probably met Minho in a different way, but whichever it is, I still think Minho and I will be together.” She said.

“Good thing.” Dongshin nodded as if he’s finally admitting defeat. “But don’t trust that Jessica. I’m sure those evil sisters plotted that thing that happened to you on that event. You should tell it to Minho, too, but don’t tell him you found it from me, I’m sure he won’t like it.”

“He doesn’t need to know it anymore. He’s busy these days and I don’t want to bother him.” She said.

“As usual… You’re as considerate as before.” Both of them chuckled a bit until Dongshin saw someone taking photos.

“!” He stood up and immediately jumped to grab the guy’s collar, “You don’t want to die, do you?! Stop taking pictures!” He took the camera and threw it away, leaving the guy overly speechless.

****                                                                                  

“What the hell is wrong with that freakin’ Dongshin?!” Krystal shouted as soon as she received a call from someone she asked to look after Ji Eun. “UNNIE!” She shouted at Jessica. “I thought that guy was on our side? Why is he going against us suddenly?!”

“I don’t know!” Jessica shouted. “The hell with him!”

Author's Note:

Dear Dongshin... there are just those things that you'll only appreciate after you have lost it... and the worse part is, you know you can never get them back...