Title: Until we meet again…

Character: Inoo Kei x you (OC)

Soundtrack: Distance by Kana Nishino

Writer: Yu-chan

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It’s about time, they’ll be performing soon. I hurried and took a plate of pasta I just finished cooking. I didn’t bother to clean the dishes I left it in the kitchen, it can wait. But I can’t, I ran and took a place on our couch. Finally the moment I’ve been waiting for, Hey! Say! JUMP will be performing a new song. I can’t help but smile as I watch. I’m not really the kind of fan who’ll squeal every now and then and scream their heart outs. I usually just smile, gasp and let my inner mind scream. I watched every one of them sing and dance but there’s one person in particular that I’ve been watching that even though he’s usually at the back, the focus of my eyes follows him. My smile grew bigger as the camera finally focused on him but it immediately faded as it was only a short glimpse. I sighed but continued watching, after the feeling of disappointment I recovered fast and the smile I had before was back. The performance ended and I can finally breathe properly. You might be wondering who’s that guy that never failed to make my heart skip a beat, a person who can always make me smile, a guy who affected me too much, in short  the guy who I fell for. It’s Hey! Say! JUMP’s Inoo Kei. He’s been my ichiban for 4 years and 7 months, quite long right? But I knew him longer, he’s been a childhood friend of mine, we grew up together and been through a lot. Though I can admit to myself that he’s my favorite I can never tell it to him, he’ll might just tease me and take advantage of it. I’m through with music station and so I got myself into the kitchen again and cleaned it.

Hours passed and it’s getting late but I can’t seem to let myself sleep. I’m not really waiting anything in particular but it felt like I am. I sighed and decided to surf the net for a little while. As I was scrolling down some random posts on facebook and tumblr, I heard my phone rang. I ran back to my room and looked for it, I really care less about my phone but I have a strong feeling of who this person might be. Finally I found it under my pillow after throwing everything out of my bed. I let myself fall into the bed and answered the call.

“Hey” I heard him say, he sounded really down which kind of worried me.

“Hey,” I simply replied. I heard him sniff a little and said. “Can I come over?” I guess he’s not only down but sick too. “Sure, but it’s already late, aren’t you busy enough?” I replied and glance at the clock, it’s already 11 pm.

“I just finished my projects, look if you don’t want me to come just say so.” He exclaimed, I frowned as I felt quite annoyed but he’s not always like this in fact I rarely hear him with such tone and set of words. I simply sighed and answered back.

“Oh come on don’t talk like that, you can come over.” He said goodbye and hanged up. I wonder what happened to him. Kei only live a few blocks away and since most of the time my parents were working I’m always left alone. I’m quite independent I must say. I stood up and went back to the computer. I was scrolling down some posts when a specific photo gained my full attention. I feel like punching a hole to my computer screen as I feel anger rushing through me.

‘Inoo Kei is the most worthless member.’

I clenched my fist and took a deep sigh, oh well haters gonna hate. I planned on answering it back but I think it’s just a waste of time, people like those are not worthy of my time. Time and effort are too precious to be wasted just like that right? I just hope that it won’t affect him. He’s great and really hardworking, Kei doesn’t deserve to be talked about like this. I’m afraid it’ll hurt him, it’s the least I want for him to feel. I was just about to close the tab when I felt warm breath touching my cheeks, I looked up and saw him with a disappointed face, too late he saw the post and it pained him.

“I’m sorry you have to see that.” I exclaimed as I watched him took a seat on the sofa. I immediately turned off the computer. I stood there and saw his eyes closed, his feet above the center table and his hands above his head. I’m glad after a long time he still feels at home and still kept his own copy of our house’s key. He didn’t reply to my statement, there I knew something’s really bothering him. I faked a cough as I hope to see those beautiful eyes of his but I failed.

“Hey! I saw your performance a while ago! Good thing you didn’t mess up! I was waiting for you to make something funny but I guess you practiced well enough ne?” I exclaimed and faked a laugh. I took a seat beside him and copied his position. Still no reply was heard from him, I nudged him a little as I wanted him to say something, I want to hear his voice. His silence is scaring me.

“Why am I always not good enough…” His voice came out unusually hoarse. I don’t know what to say, Kei was a very optimistic person, a very happy go lucky guy, seeing him acting like this hurts me. I want to see my sunshine.

“Why can’t they appreciate my effort? Can’t they see my hard work? Am I not doing my best?” He exclaimed yet again as he sniffed and cough a little. I don’t want to see him like this, I want to say no but I’m afraid. I feel so bad that he has to go through this, he did so many wonderful things for him to feel this.

“Hey…” I heard him say, “Are you still there?” He added. I shook my head as I came back to reality. Finally, his eyes were opened and now staring directly to mine.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He added, I can’t seem to find my voice, there are a lot of things I want to tell him. I want to make him feel better and yet my heart was afraid to be read by him. I’m surprised to feel his hands on my cheeks and wiping my tears. Wait, I’m crying? As I realized that I pushed his hands away, turned around and wiped my tears. He chuckled which surprised me. “You’re ruining my dramatic moment, I’m supposed to be the one crying not you.” He clicked his tongue and laughed a bit.

I turned to look at him but his eyes were focused on the ceiling. “So you watched? Are you happy to see Hikaru? He changed his hairstyle again.” Kei exclaimed as he tried to change the topic. He looked at me as he waited for my answer. He thought that Hikaru was the person I like the most among them, that I have a huge crush on him which is partly right but he still beat him on my list.

‘No, I was happy to see you perform with a smile though you feel the opposite.’ I want to say it, yet I can’t. I’m afraid that if I let my feeling flow, our friendship will change. I’m afraid I’ll lose him.

“Oiii!” he exclaimed again as he pushed my forehead using his index finger.

“Tell me what’s wrong? Why are you feeling so down?” I asked and ignored his question. I kept my eyes on him, I even turned my whole body towards him. He smiled as he continued to look at the ceiling.

“Hmm… I just told you…” He replied.

“No, you haven’t told me everything yet. What happened that made you think that?” I asked yet again. This time he looked at me and lifted an eyebrow.

“Why do you want to know?” He asked yet again. “Will you stop answering my question with a question.” I answered.

“I don’t know, I just feel like I’m not really good enough, that I don’t even belong to our band. Should I just quit?” He exclaimed, I can see the pain within his eyes. I can’t take it anymore.

“Will you stop doubting yourself? Why are you letting those people rank you or judge you? If you’ll let them affect you then truly you’ll be feeling down as how you feel right now. Why don’t you focus on the people who believed in you, people who can appreciate even those little wonderful things that you do? Yes, those guys maybe better than you with so many things but remember you’re unique, you don’t need to prove to anyone that you’re good enough because you’re already are. It’s them who’s the problem, it’s their lost for not seeing what you have, for missing out the chance to know a person like you.” I said as I felt hot tears flowing down my cheeks, as I realized what I just said I covered my mouth and turned away from him but as I did, I felt his hand pulling me.

“You really think that?” He said with a soft smile. I simply nodded still feeling hot and not recovering from my own embarrassment.

“I didn’t expect that to come from you, especially all I can hear from you were insults.” He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped my tears.

“I just don’t want you to feel that way. You don’t deserve it.” I said in a soft voice.

“Thank you. You really made me feel a lot better. Now, don’t tear up.” He said, I guess he understood my tears, he knew I was in the same position he was before and he was the one comforting me.

“I really don’t know what to do with you, when you’re happy you cry, when you’re sad you cry, when you’re mad you cry and now even just cheering someone you cry?” I heard him say and laugh at me. Finally the sound I’ve been waiting for the whole night. The only sound that can make me feel light and relaxed. Without my knowledge I started to laugh with him.

“I guess you know me better ne? I cry in everything I do! Hahahaha…”

Before we know it we started to finish the food I prepared and forgot all the drama that just had happened. Just then, he realized the time and it’s time for him to go.

“Hey! Thanks again.” I felt his hand above my head as he played with my hair, I tried to pull away myself but he only pulled. I gave up and just let him be.

“Thank you.” He whispered, this time closer to my ear. I can’t help but blush, I don’t want him to see it and so I immediately turned away and went inside.

“You’re welcome!” I exclaimed with the close door in front of me.

 I don’t know when we’re going to meet again but I hope by then I’ll be able to be more honest about my feeling. I hope the fear for the future would vanish and I’ll be able to just pour everything to you oh well, until we meet again…

Until we meet again…

END