Book 1 - The Peculiar Poultry Predicament

The Onewssey

No one was really sure why Onew was so obsessed with chicken.  Supposedly it was a trait he had been born with, something that had been with him for as long as he – or anybody else in the village, for that matter – could remember.

That wasn’t to say Onew was unpopular among the community; he was a bit spacey (except for when it came to chicken) and socially awkward, sure, but he was sweet and polite and helpful as well (especially when he was rewarded with chicken), and in a small little farming village there wasn’t much else to go by.  He lived by himself in a small hut on the outskirts of town, away from the hustle and bustle but still close enough to be considered a neighbor.  Nothing much happened there, and most figured that nothing ever would.

            That is, until Onew’s chicken went missing.         

            It was a perfectly normal morning for the nineteen-year-old boy, but he woke up with a foreboding knot in his stomach.  Glancing around the main room of the hut warily as he slid out of bed, Onew changed from his pinstripe flannel pajamas to a simple sweatshirt and jeans, walked over to the pantry of his traditional chicken salad breakfast, opened the door and – boom, no chicken.

            It wasn’t long before Onew grew desperate in his searching, upturning the trash can and chairs and even the portable wash basin, before dashing out the door, his bare feet pounding against the dirt road as he made his way into the town.

            “My goodness, Onew,” said a little old lady, sitting on her front porch with a pipe in ; “You’re awfully lively today.”

            “My chicken,” Onew gasped out, his breath escaping him as he stopped to bend over.  “It’s… it’s gone.”

            “Your chicken’s gone?” asked a passing man, carrying a crate of tomatoes.

            “Your chicken’s gone?” echoed his young daughter, tightening her grip on her ragdoll.

            “You caught a thong?” rasped an old man, who was hard of hearing.

            Onew nodded hurriedly – except to the old man, whom he ignored – now nearly dancing with impatience.  “I went to get it this morning and it was just… just not there!”

            “This is bad,” the man muttered under his breath, before turning towards the streets and shouting, “Hey, everybody!  Onew’s chicken is gone!”

            A collective murmur of unsettlement rippled across the gathering crowd.  Then an older woman, carrying two toddlers, stepped forward.

            “Someone told me they saw the Earth Dragon flying around in the sky last night,” she announced above the din, which only caused more, louder murmurings.  Onew’s eyebrows creased with worry.  The Earth Dragon?  But he normally stays up on Mount SHINee…

            “Onew,” the tomato man said suddenly, pulling the boy from his thoughts; “Do you think that…?”

            Onew nodded grimly.  “I’ll bet that dragon took my chicken,” he said, clenching his fists.  “I have no choice but to get it back.”

            “But that means you’d have to climb Mount SHINee!” protested someone from the crowd.  “That’s too dangerous!”

            “You’ve never even been out of the village!” added another nameless person.  Onew clenched his fists.

            “I have no choice,” he told them, eyes stony with determination.  “If I don’t, who knows what that beastly dragon will do to my chicken?”

            There was a moment of silence, before the tomato man gave a solemn nod.  “Very well,” he said, “if this is what you choose.  Let me know if there’s anything you need for your journey.”

            Onew was about to decline, when he thought back to his rickety little house, with nothing but a bed, cramped kitchen, table, and even crampy-er bathroom.  Then he looked at the man and shot him a sheepish little smile.

            “Well, actually…”

 

            Ten minutes and twenty knick-knacks later, Onew, was waving goodbye to his peaceful little village, ignoring the somewhat disgruntled tomato man, and began following the faint, rarely-used path that led in the direction of Mount SHINee.

            It was actually a collection of three mountains, all in a perfect row and each one noticeably taller than the last.  From where the village was sitting, though, it all looked like one big mountain.

            I wonder where the Earth Dragon’s lair is, among all those rocks and crags and sharp turns and sudden drops? Onew thought to himself.

            “Hey!” came a snippy voice from behind him.  “Are you gonna go or not?”

            Onew jumped to attention, only to realize that he had just sort of been standing there, staring at the mountain for the past five minutes.  He turned to wave at the villagers once more, before dashing off down the road, this time beginning his journey for real.

            He continued on for pretty much the entire day, and it was extremely uneventful and boring and shall be skipped.  When night fell, Onew found a suitable tree and sat down under it, leaning against the smooth trunk as he began extracting items from his backpack.  Some shoes, a plastic cup, a spare lightbulb…

            A cold gust of air shook Onew to the bone, and he rifled through his pack for a blanket.  A tulip bulb, a yo-yo, a six-pack of crayons… but no blanket.

            “Just my luck,” he mumbled under his breath, wrapping his arms around himself in a vain attempt to stay warm.  “I’ve got everything in the village except a blanket.  When am I even going to use all this stuff?”

            Suddenly the wind began to howl, and Onew felt goose bumps prickle within his skin.  Then there was a slow, monotonous creaking sound, back and forth, back and forth, back and-

            “Hello?” Onew screamed and nearly peed his pants when a voice called out in the distance.  A softly glowing light began to float its way closer and closer to his tree.  “Is anybody there?”

            No, Onew wanted to say, but caught himself just in time.  Nonetheless, the light was getting closer, and it wasn’t long before he could see the faint outline of a cloaked figure.

            “Who’s there?” the voice said again, sounding much more feminine and slightly less frightening than before.  Onew leaned forward a little, peering into the darkness.

“Who- who are you?” he managed to say despite his general terror.  A girl appeared in front of him, carrying swinging lantern on a metal staff, squinting at him through her cloak hood.

            “I’m Tiffany,” she answered after a moment of observing.  “I’m the enchantress of these lands.  What are you doing on my property?”

            “Um, sorry,” Onew answered, hurrying to shimmy into his backpack.  “I didn’t know this tree actually belonged to anybody.  I was just- well, that is- in fact, now that I think about it-”

            “Do you need a place to stay?” Tiffany asked, her deep brown eyes looking genuinely concerned.  Onew paused.

            “Why?” he asked, somewhat warily.  Tiffany gave him a soft smile and extended her hand.  The fingers were long and slender, each one tipped with a perfect French manicure.

            “I like you,” she told him honestly.  “Come stay at my home for the night.  I can assure you, it’s a lot warmer.”

            And suddenly Onew felt compelled to obey.  Still staring into her eyes, the boy took her hand and allowed her to lead him through the pitch black, and what he assumed to be a doorway.  Then suddenly his back was against something soft, and a curtain of cascading brunette locks surrounded him.

            “Sleep,” the word was breathed against his face, unfurling across his cheeks and skimming over his eyes.  And before he knew it, Onew was surrounded by nothing, and succumbed to the tender command.

 

            “He’s not as attractive as you made him out to be,” was the first thing Onew heard when he regained consciousness.

            “Hush, Gwiboon.  If he hears you, he may be hurt.”

            Why does that voice sound familiar? Onew wondered groggily, before a sharp pain in his right arm caused him to wince.  The voices stopped, and he tilted his head to find the girl from the night before, as well as a younger girl, sitting in chairs beside him.  And they were staring at him.

            “I’m sorry,” the enchantress – Tiffany, was it? – apologized, placing a ghostly pale hand over her heart.  “Did we wake you?”

            “No,” Onew lied, rubbing his arm with a small frown of discomfort.  Tiffany glanced at his arm, then at the other girl.

            “Gwiboon, could you step out for a while, please?” she requested gently.  Gwiboon huffed and stood, smoothing out her school uniform.

            “Fine,” she snapped, stomping out of the room.  “I’ll go find Taeyeon, then.”

            Tiffany watched the girl leave, before turning back to Onew with an apologetic smile.  “My little sister is very energetic,” she told him.  “But she means no harm.”  She paused, rising from her chair and placing a hand over the spot on his arm that he was rubbing.  “Does it hurt?” she asked quietly.  Onew nodded, and her expression morphed into one of distress.

            “Here,” she murmured, before bending down and brushing her lips across the skin, causing Onew to shiver.  Then the pain was gone, being rushed away by a restorative river.  Tiffany pulled away, her hand lingering on his wrist.

            “My sister…” she began, looking at something – perhaps nothing – across the room; “Her words cause destruction.”

            Onew was still half asleep, and her speech pattern was something he could hardly follow when wide-awake and eating chicken.  “Eh?” he slurred blearily.  Tiffany started to her fingers up and down his arm, each digit leaving a tingling sensation in its wake.

            “Whenever she says something unkind about another person, and they hear it, that person will experience physical discomfort.  The worse the words, the harsher the pain.”

            Onew was following her swaying fingers with his eyes.  “Oh.”

            Noticing this, Tiffany drew back, the pleasant smile returning to her face.  “She is still young,” she said serenely.  “Someday she will learn, I’m sure.”

            Unable to do anything else, Onew just nodded dumbly.  There was a moment of silence.

            Then Tiffany made a small, light sound of realization, before saying brightly, “Oh, yes!  You’re probably terribly hungry, aren’t you?”

            “Well, kind of,” Onew admitted, his voice still slightly gravelly from sleeping.  Tiffany extended her hand to help him up, which Onew accepted.  Then she led him out of the bedroom, brushing aside the orange beaded curtain that hung over the doorway, and into a larger room with a low square table, some silk pillows for sitting, and multiple decorative wooden folding screens.  Gwiboon and yet another young girl sat at the table, side-by-side, talking in low voices.  Tiffany motioned to one of the sitting pillows, and when Onew sat down, both girls immediately closed their mouths, and commenced staring at him yet again.

            “Gwiboon,” Tiffany said in a motherly tone, disappearing behind one of the screens, “why don’t you introduce your sister to our guest?”

            Gwiboon let out a melodramatic sigh and, motioning vaguely towards the girl beside her, grumbled; “This is Taeyeon.  Say hello, Taeyeon.”

            Taeyeon giggled and hid her face behind a pastel blue paper fan.  Onew shifted on his pillow and looked down at the floor.

            Finally Tiffany returned with a bowl of rice, placing it before Onew with the same, ever-present smile.  Onew’s own lips twitched to return it, but in the end he just ducked his head and shoved some rice into his mouth.

            Suddenly there was a loud, bird-like shriek from another room, followed by a crash.  Everyone jumped in their seats, Taeyeon letting out a little yelp of surprise.  A moment later a large, feathery bird came shooting out of a room to Onew’s left, gobbling and clucking as it pattered across the floor, flapping its wings and shedding brown feathers left and right.

            “Another one got in the house!” Tiffany shouted.  Taeyeon grabbed Gwiboon’s arm and clung for dear life.

            “Gwiboon, get it!  Get it!” she wailed desperately.  Gwiboon shot to her feet, one hand protectively shielding her sister and the other pointing an accusing finger at the giant bird.

            “You’re the ugliest, fattest, stupidest creature I’ve ever seen!” she shouted, eyes alight with a fiery glare.  “I can’t believe we even bother to keep you around, you disgusting thing!”

            The bird let out a strangled cry and fell to the floor, convulsing, eyes bulging out of its skull.  Taeyeon let out a whimper and shied away, while Gwiboon marched over and dragged it out the door by its neck.  She reentered a moment later, wiping her hands on her pleated skirt.

            “That takes care of that,” she said, and plopped back down across from Onew.  The boy looked at the girl, then at the door, then back at the girl.

            “What… was that?” he couldn’t help but ask.  Tiffany beamed him a radiating smile.

            “Oh, you didn’t know?” she asked innocently.  “We live on a turkey farm.”

 

            A turkey farm.

            Onew had been sitting in the same position all day, watching what took place around him in a stunned silence.  Taeyeon practicing her dance lessons; Tiffany offering him a drink and refilling his rice bowl; Gwiboon being sent out to literally kill a turkey with her words and bring it in for dinner; Tiffany cooking said turkey behind one of the many folding screens, and setting the meal out on the table, her little sisters helping set the table and garnish the dishes.

            They live on a turkey farm.

            “You’ve been awfully quiet today, Onew,” Tiffany said, placing yet another bowl of rice in front of the boy; he was starting to get pretty sick of the moist, doughy smell.  Onew just sort of stared at it dazedly, and Tiffany shot a suspicious glance at Gwiboon.

            “Don’t look at me!” the girl said defensively, holding up her hands.  “I didn’t say anything, honest.”

            Tiffany’s gaze lingered, before she turned back to Onew, looking worried.  “Maybe you just need to eat something,” she said.  “Here, have some turkey.”

            Onew watched in silence as she placed a leg on his plate.  The steam rose up, engulfing his face, the fresh smell of poultry wafting through his senses.

            It looks… so good… He reached for the piece of meat, slowly, before snapping out of his trance and pulling away rather abruptly.  Tiffany blinked in surprise.

            “What’s wrong?” she questioned.  Onew sighed and pushed the plate away.

            “The truth is,” he began, causing Gwiboon and Taeyeon to pause their eating and watch him curiously; “I’m on a quest.”

            Tiffany tilted her head to one side.  “Quest?”

            Onew nodded.  “My chicken has been stolen by the Earth Dragon,” he explained solemnly.  “I set out to find it, but then you brought me here and I…” he trailed off, looking down at the turkey leg.  “I’m sorry Tiffany, but I can’t eat your turkey.”

            “Why not?” asked Tiffany, sounding slightly put-out.  “It’s all poultry.”

            “Yeah,” Onew had no choice but to agree with the facts.  “But my poultry preference is chicken… it’s been with me for nineteen years.  I can’t just abandon all that now.”

            There was a moment of silence, before Tiffany said quietly, “Very well.  I’ll let you continue your journey.  But…” she took in a sharp breath; “I’m going to miss you very much.”

            “You’ve known him for a day,” Gwiboon deadpanned from across the table. 

            Tiffany shot her a glare and said, “Gwiboon, Taeyeon; I want to give Onew a parting gift.  Bring in The Burden.”

            The girls nodded and scrambled away, ducking into a small crawlspace in the wall.

            They’re giving me something called ‘The Burden’ as a gift, Onew thought.  Fabulous.

            A moment later the two girls returned through the crawlspace; first Taeyeon, and then Gwiboon, and finally, clumsily following them, a small, wide-eyed boy.

            “Onew,” said Tiffany formally, as the tiny child rose to his full height – barely to Onew’s knees; “This is Yoogeun.  Yoogeun, this is your new daddy.”

            The boy blinked at him.  “Daddy?” he repeated.  Onew scrambled away, hiding himself behind Tiffany.

            “No,” he said sternly.  “No, no, no.  No kids.  No.”

            But Tiffany was already reaching out to the boy, pointing to Onew and saying, “Daddy; this is Daddy,” over and over again.  The boy waddled over to Onew, leaning on the older boy’s knee and gazing up at him with inhumanly ginormous eyes.

            “Daddy,” he said, showing Onew a row of glistening, pearly white baby teeth, his tongue poking out from behind them.  And a battle raged inside Onew, one side saying, No.  No kids.  Kids are bad.  You are bad with kids.  Remember what happened last time?  Whereas the other side was saying, But he’s so cute!

            Finally, he let out a pained little whimper and said, “Okay, fine.  I’ll take Yoogeun with me.”

            The smile that followed was blinding.

            “Excellent!” Tiffany exclaimed excitedly, before hurrying Onew to his feet and escorting both boys to the door.  “Well, it was nice having you to visit us, Onew.  Have a safe trip!” Then she pecked him on the cheek and slammed the door.

            Onew looked at the door, then down at Yoogeun, who was looking back up at him expectantly.

            “Daddy,” he said.  Onew sighed.

            “Yes, I’m your daddy now,” he assented.  Yoogeun held up his hand, still staring at Onew.  The boy bit his lip, grimaced, and took the tiny hand in his own.  Then the two turned back towards the mountain, the taller leading the shorter down the beaten path.

 

---- 

I hope you didn't find the first book boring - it was more of an introduction to the plotline than anything else. :P But other members appear in the next book, don't worry!  As mountain guides... who could they be?  Kekeke~ Please review and subscribe!  And don't forget to tell me what you think my teacher might've thought while reading this chapter. ;)

 (And woah, 2 subscribers without a single chapter?  I'm so proud of myself). :D

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Comments

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seoulxx
#1
OMG I REMEMBER THIS STORY
THIS WAS LIKE ONE OF MY FAVORITE STORIES
seoulxx
#2
Chapter 9: Awawawaw, the story ended. It was sooooo good <3 I love it. It was hilarious and heart-warming, and it's one of my favorite stories ever. Expect me to read the sequel soon ^o^
susumiya08 #3
wooow I really loved your story, and the characters, u're amazing, making me laugh, cute yoogeun and that 2min was amazing too, I ♥ jongkey the most, so I'm going right to the sequel... u really made me happy hahaha your imagination is just perfect and funny hahaha
beagull
#4
That was the greatest adventure everrr!!!! Can't wait to read the sequel :3
Arlene #5
I'm sorry that happened to you about the ending but can't wait the next story
KailiSweet
#6
I think your teacher would have loved it honestly, like it was very funny. However since he knows nothing about Shinee, I doubt he'd understand how funny it actually is. From the chicken to Yoogeun's significance I guess...
But yes, the alternate ended seemed like it would have been worth reading.
Oh well, I'll be happy with the Jongkey story! :D
ricekk6670
#7
YES JONGKEY! I love the sweet ending... I feel so sad for onchicken though ;_; :P Good story "love child", I've got many of those... jk jk
twomint
#8
TOTALLY LOVE THIS<3
Too too awesome. Can't wait for the next one!
Arlene #9
It was such a good story can't wait for the next story