It was scary at first. A feeling of falling, with the knowledge that no one would catch him. But then the fear made it sweet too, made it worth the jump. After he fell, it was painful. His chest ached, with a dull throbbing pain that was joyful at the same time. His heart was like a bird in his chest, beating its wings madly, and it told him how wonderful his life was. That person might not know of his love, might not love him back, but his love sustained the bird, made his days brighter, and his body lighter.

     Falling in love was not something Kikwang had planned. But then again, you never really planned love did you? Falling in love with his best friend and band member was also unplanned, and thoroughly complicated his life, but for an unknown reason, Kikwang was happy. He was laying in his bed, early morning sunlight streaming in, listening to the sound of gentle breathing. It was a quiet sound that Kikwang loved hearing, almost as much as he loved hearing that person’s voice. Kikwang gently got out of his bed, careful not to make too much noise, and walked over to the source of the soft breath.

     Yoseob was fast asleep, covers kicked off in his sleep, exposing his colorful pajamas, an arm thrown above his head and his brilliant blonde hair falling across his eyes. Kikwang stared for several minutes at the sleeping figure, his eyes greedily soaking up the sight of the sleeping boy that he was one of the few that got to see. A soft smile crossed Kikwang’s face, as he traced Yoseob’s face with his eyes. He then reached a slightly trembling hand out and carefully brushed the blonde hair out of the other boy’s eyes. When the other boy didn’t move, Kikwang became slightly bolder, tracing Yoseob’s features with his hand. Kikwang knelt down by Yoseob’s bed, his hand still on Yoseob’s face. He glanced up at Yoseob, and seeing that he was still asleep, traced Yoseob’s lips with his finger.

     His lips are so soft. Kikwang thought, getting lost in the feel of Yoseob’s soft lips and hot breath against his finger.

     His eyes flashed back to Yoseob’s face, to check that the boy was still sleeping. Kikwang sighed softly. Yoseob, he thought, just one kiss, because I can never kiss you when you are awake, just once, while you sleep. 

     Kikwang leaned over Yoseob, who was still fast asleep, and gently pressed his full lips to Yoseob’s thin ones. The kiss was nothing like Kikwang imagined it…it was better. Even though Yoseob was asleep his lips tasted sweet and slightly bitter, reminding Kikwang of coffee. Kikwang allowed his lips to linger for a moment, to savor the taste he discovered, and then reluctantly pulled away for fear of waking Yoseob. Kikwang brought his hand to his own lips, which tingled from the kiss. His lips felt bereft, lonely without Yoseob’s. He leaned down and kissed Yoseob once more, a deeper, longer kiss, pulling back quickly, startled when he thought he felt Yoseob shift under him. But Yoseob continued to sleep on, unaware of the kiss or the love that Kikwang locked deep in his heart.

     Kikwang once again brushed Yoseob’s hair away from his eyes. Feeling emboldened by the fact that Yoseob was asleep and could never know what he was about to say, Kikwang spoke the words he had been longing to say aloud.

     “Yoseob-ah,” Kikwang said softly, as to not awaken him, “I love you, more than anyone. I will never leave you. So you don’t have to worry about anything. Just sleep soundly like this, and dream sweet dreams.” Kikwang leaned over Yoseob’s sleeping form, and brushed his plump lips over Yoseob’s smooth forehead. “I will watch over you Yoseob-ah, always, no matter what.”

     Kikwang stood up quietly, and smiled down at his love, still sleeping, unaware of his confession. He glanced at a clock perched on a desk the two shared in their room. It’s already almost 7, I better get ready, I have a full day of schedules today he thought. Kikwang turned back to Yoseob and pulled the sheet that the boy had kicked off in his sleep back over his sleeping form. Yoseob has the day off, I should be quiet so I don’t wake him, Kikwang thought to himself and headed towards the door, careful not to make too much noise as he navigated the mess on the floor of the room they shared. As he reached the door he paused with his hand on the handle, and turned back to look one last time at Yoseob before heading out the door. “I love you,” Kikwang said with an eye smile, “See you soon.” He then gently turned the knob and shut the door quietly behind him.

     Yoseob had been lying still, breathlessly, waiting since he had been awoken by Kikwang’s warm hand on his face. So that he might hear the words he always wanted to hear, Yoseob remained still, eyes shut tight, as Kikwang had kissed him, with his heart fluttering like a mad bird in his chest. As he left the room, Kikwang never noticed the sleeping figure’s lips turn upwards in grin full of happiness. Kikwang never noticed the figure, who had been pretending to sleep peacefully the entire time, carefully open one eye as the door was gently closed. And after he closed the door he never heard the words from the mouth he had just kissed being softly spoken. Words that, Yoseob too had always desired to say aloud. “I love you too. See you soon.”