"I have a great news!"


I jumped in surprise when the door of my room yanked open.


"." I cursed to myself as I hastily threw on my oversized shirt.


"I have a great news~ I have a great news~ lalala." My eyebrows furrowed when I heard a familiar voice singing happily.


I let out a loud groan when I realized who owned that voice. My best friend. Gongchan.


"What the hell Gongchan!" I yelled at him when he's already standing in front of me. "Don't you know how to a knock a freaking door?"


"Huh? But I always come in without knocking."
He pouted. "Still not used to it eh?"


"God Gongchan. I think I told you soooooo many times to knock first before coming in!"
I rolled my eyes impatiently. "Do you know what I am doing before you barge in?"


"What are you doing, then?"


"I am dressing up! If you were a few minutes earlier, I bet you already saw me !" I shrieked. "You're not supposed to barge in like that! This is a room of a GIRL!"


A smirk formed into his lips. "A GIRL? You're a GIRL? Since when?"


I grabbed my hairbrush into the nearest table and threw it at him. He was able to catch it.


He laughed a little. "I'm just kidding. I'm sorry about that. I promise not to come in your room without permission. Ever. Again." He grinned. "And I'm not interested to see your body so---"


I smacked his arm before he could continue. "!"


I picked up the hairbrush from the floor and glared at him. "Why are you here by the way?"


"Oh. Relax, will you?" He sat at the edge of my bed. "I just can't wait to tell to my best friend about my good news~" he said in a sing song voice.


I smirked at his upbeat mood. He seemed happy, I wonder what happened...


"What's that great news that made my best friend happy like an idiot?"


He shot me a glare but I shrugged it off. He patted the spot on the bed next to him. "Sit down first and I'll tell you."


I complied.


"She said YES."


"Yes? Who?" My eyes blinked in confusion.


He gave me an impatient look. "Haneul. She already said YES to my courting!" His eyes lit up in joy and excitement "She's already my girlfriend!"


"Oh cool. Congratulations. After a year of courtship...you deserve it." I replied monotonously.

"You don't look happy." A hint of suspicion was evident in his voice.


"What are you saying? Of course I am happy for you... " I defended. "Don't cheat on her okay?"


He chuckled. "Why would I cheat on her? I really like her...of course I wouldn't."


Silence reigned after he said that.


Well, honestly, I can't find any witty comeback so I remained silent.


I was...


Not happy. I may sound...rude. But that's was I'm really feeling right now.


I don't know why. I can't even understand myself.


He really likes that girl. Well, any guy would like her since she's really pretty and smart...but... I don't know... I started to have this uneasy feeling since he started courting her...especially now that...she's his official girlfriend.


I'm not supposed to have this feeling.


Weird.


"But..." he muttered after a few minutes. I faced him and saw him fidgeting in his seat. "I have...a major problem..."


I raised an eyebrow. "Major problem?"


"Yeah." He looked down.


"What major problem?"


I swear. I saw his face heat up and not only that, his ears turned red too. He's blushing.


"I-I don't know if I should say this b-but--" he stammered.


"Aish." I cut him off. I am not a fan of cliffhangers. "Just tell me okay? You can trust me, whatever it is."

He gave me an hesitant look as if debating to himself if I am really a trustworthy creature.


I stood up abruptly. "If you don't want to tell me then you c---"


"Okay, okay." he sighed, raising his hands as if in surrender. "I think I can--"


"Gongchan!" I threatened.


"IDONTKNOWHOWTOKISSWHATWILLIDO?!!" he blurted out.


"WHAT?" My voice raised a little. I didn't understand a single thing that he said.


His face became redder that he almost look like a fresh tomato. "I-I don't how to kiss..." he said in a very low voice.


I thought it was a joke so I burst out laughing. But when I looked back at him, he was glaring at me with annoyance.


"A-are you serious?" I covered my mouth with my hand, stifling my laughter.


"Do I look like I'm joking?" He asked through gritted teeth. "I'm serious."


I nodded, trying to look serious. But a wide grin formed into my lips when I saw him pouting like a 5 year old kid.


"I said I'm serious!" he insisted.


"Okay, if you say so." I realized that I was still standing so I sat back beside him. "But what's the problem with that?"


"I haven't kissed a girl before and that was embarrassing.."


"Oh hold on." I raised a hand when I remembered something. "You haven't kissed her during your, you know, courtship?"


"Err...no."


"Even in her cheeks?"


He shifted uncomfortably. "I didn't even hold her hand."


"Oh well. You're still courting her back then, it was really reasonable for not doing those things." I said, nodding.


"Well, anyway, I'm wondering how...will...you know, kiss her? She's already my girlfriend, and it is time...to... to.." he blushed harder "kiss her..."


"Well, just kiss her." I simply said.


He gave me a frantic look. "But, what if she thinks that I'm a bad kisser? Or worst what if she notices that I don't know how to kiss?" he paused then added. "She would probably laugh at me or or...break up with because..."


"Stop talking first, please!" I half-shouted, covering my ears with my hands. "You're giving me a headache." I clicked my tongue in frustration. "You're exaggerating too much... I don't think she's too shallow to break up on you because you're at kissing..."


"You're not helping me at all..."


I grunted. Okay, I'm seriously pissed off. "You know what? I can't understand why you're asking me about this. It's not like I am a kiss expert or whatever."


"Because you're my best friend and I trust you."


I squeezed the bridge of my nose. "Yeah. I'm your bestfriend. But... I think I can't help you with this..."


He looked confused. "Why not?"


"Did it ever cross your mind that I don't how to kiss too?" I blurted, without thinking.


He blinked at me, obviously not getting what I'm saying.


I felt my cheeks flamed. "I-I never had my first kiss too..."


His mouth formed an adorable 'O' shape. I waited for him to laugh at me like what I did to him earlier, but he didn't.


There's a few seconds of awkward silence before he spoke again. "I think I have an idea..."


"Let me hear that." I replied awkwardly.


"Umm..." He scratched his head. "This may sound weird but... I guess this...would help me, well if you will agree into it."


I stared at him intently, waiting for him to continue.


"Y-you see... I think, I need to practice with someone before kissing her..."


I have a weird feeling about this.


"S-so?"


"So...I'm thinking that ...that someone should be...YOU."


My eyes bulged out in astonishment. "W-what? Y-you mean, y-you will practice kissing with...with ME?"


"Y-yeah.."


"Oh my gosh. Tell me you didn't mean that!"


"Well, it's just that..." his shoulders drooped in resignation. "I really need your help...I don't want to look like a fool in front of her."


"But... I can't just give my first kiss like that!" I reasoned out. "I want my first kiss to be with someone that I love!"


"Why? You don't love me?"


That made me caught off guard. "I-it's not like that... I love you.. But not..."



"Well I guess I am not important for you." He got up.


"What are you saying?" I stood up too and grabbed his arm, preventing him to leave. "You're an important person for me...but I can't just..."


"But you can't do a favor for your best friend?" he said sulkily.


"Because it's really... COMPLICATED!"


He shot me a disappointed look and tried to wiggle his hands out of my grasp. "What so complicated with that? I am just asking you for a help... I thought you were my best friend..."


"I am your best friend! But you're asking too much!" I flailed my arms in frustration. "T-that will be my first kiss!"


"That will be my first kiss too..."


"Then are you willing to give it to me?" Oh crap. Why the hell did I ask that? It seemed that I just give in to his antics.


He whipped around to look at me. "Yes." I can see in his eyes how serious he is.


"Why me? I mean, you can ask anyone! But not me!"


"Because you're the only one that I could trust! How many times do I need to say that? Besides, why are you making this such a big deal? We were together for a long time! It's not like it would mean anything if we kiss...we're just friends..."


I wanted to say something but couldn't think of anything. He's right. It wouldn't mean anything even if we cuddle or kiss or whatsoever.


Because I am just his friend.


My heart clenched at the thought. Friend. Best friend. The words kept repeating in my head. Aish, why do I feel sad? Of course I am his best friend. What am I expecting?


I in a deep breath and stared at him intently. I guess... I need to help him. I just can't let him look like a fool, right? And it was just a kiss. Yeah, it will be my first kiss...but it would be with my best friend...it would not be that bad after all, right?


I cleared my throat twice before I spoke. "Okay..."


His voice and and eyebrows shot up. "Y-you mean..?


"Yes. I agree now. Y-you can k-kiss me... I mean you can practice...kissing with me..." I looked away, because I don't want to see what might be his reaction.


I blew out a sigh, feeling a little flutter of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. Then, he held me by my shoulder and drew closer to me. "Are you really sure...with this?"


I nodded. Our eyes locked together and the way he look at me was....definitely different. "It's just a practice..." he mumbled.


I think I nodded again. I really don't know, because I was completely lost in his beautiful eyes. "I think you should close your eyes." he said, leaning closer to me, his breath hot against my ear.


"O-okay." I managed to squeak out and then shut my eyes tightly. My heart started thumping inside my chest and I felt like I'm going to explode in any minute.


His breath on my face coming closer until I could almost feel his lips against mine.


The kiss felt like it lasted a long time, but it was only for a few seconds.


He smiled at me when he pulled back but I just stood there, still frozen in my place and feeling like I might hyperventilate.


My mind races, my heart gets stuck in my throat and my pulse pounds.


I never...felt like this before. And it's driving me crazy.


When I looked back at him, I saw a different Gongchan that I didn't see before.


It was as if someone had pulled back the drapes and let me see the real person standing behind them for the first time.


He's not the Gongchan I used to know.


I don't see him as...Gongchan, as my usual best friend who always tease and make fun of me.


I saw him...as a guy who brings out the best in me and takes a good care of me. A guy who I can really trust and I know he trusts me too.


And I just noticed that he was really good looking. I know he was too skinny but he's taller than me. His long black hair...his beautiful sparkling eyes...his perfect nose...and his plump lips which touched mine earlier...


And then, realization hit me like a bucket of cold water splashed into my whole body.


And everything seemed to make sense. Like I just solve a very hard puzzle.


I know now why I was not happy when I found out about him having a girlfriend because I was jealous.


And I am jealous because...I love him.


More than the way I feel for him since we're in grade school. More than a best friend. More than I had ever known.


And that kiss...that kiss definitely means a world to me.


Because I love him...


And the idea was extremely terrifying...


Because he didn't feel the same way for me...



The biggest revelation in my life hurts so much....that it almost suffocating me.


I bit my lips and try my best to put all my effort into keeping my tears from running down my cheeks.


I shouldn't cry in front of him.


"Hey, are you okay?" he asked worriedly. I think he noticed my action.


"U-hh. Y-Yes." My voice broke.


"You sure?"


"Y-yeah." I meekly answered. "Y-you know what? You're not a bad kisser after all.."


His eyes lit up. "Really?"


"Yeah...If I am Haneul, I would be happy to be kissed...by you..." I said weakly.


He chuckled. "Thanks... You really think so?"


"Y-yeah. Just be...natural...and I know you can do it."


He ran his hand through his hair. "I guess...after that kiss... I managed to have a courage to finally kiss her...and it's all because of you!" He grinned. "I think we should do this more often...you're such a great kissing partner." He laughed at his own joke but I didn't.


Then, he engaged me into a very tight hug. "Thank you so much...You're such a very very kind best friend in the whole world..."


I fought back the tears, but they spilled anyway."I know..."


And I am dying inside.


START DATE: May 23, 2012
END DATE: May 25, 2012