Baekhyun is crying softly as he turns on his small night lamp. He scratches in a draw for a pen and paper, knowing that if he didn't do this now, he never would. His eyes are puffed up from crying, a brilliant red against milk white skin. With white tensed knuckles and unsteady shaking hands, he begins to write

'Chanyeol

My Chanyeol. In all the ways I have ever hurt you, this is perhaps the most brutal. I can't even look you in the eyes, and you can't understand why. I don't have the heart to lie to you, to smile for you when inside, I'm breaking apart. I cry silent tears into the night, as you lay down beside me. As you breathe in, and sigh out. So full of trust and contentment.

What have I done.

As you rise in the morning and look into my face, I put on the cold hearted mask, and your smile recedes as doubt surfaces. You think I'm angry at you. I was never angry at you. My anger is for me, for myself alone. As I know I am the one who destroyed a trust that I could depend my life upon. Once you find this message, I will miss the soft crease that is your confused frown, I will miss the smell of your hair pressed against my chest. I will miss you, but I know that this is the cost for what I have done. I love you, and always will. I know you will not forgive me, I won't ask for it. '

Baekhyun is broken now, crying so hard that his stomach tenses, as he makes his way to his bathroom. Physically ill with guilt, he stumbles back to his desk and into the chair, takes the note and reads it once more. With tear stained cheeks, he quietly tears the pages apart, and crawls back into bed, and holds onto a quietly breathing Chanyeol.

As Chanyeol sighs and hugs him back in his sleep, Baekhyun dies inside and cries into the already moist hair of an ever oblivious Chanyeol.