The sign itself was awfully sketchy.

"FREE CAKE"

After all, who gives away free cake? Only fools.

But even bigger fools would take the suspicious, out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere cake sitting on a plate.

Apparently, Tao was a fool of the latter type. After eying the rainbow-colored cake and looking around to see if anyone was waiting to steal his Gucci wallet or something, he decided it was safe to claim it as him own. He ate a bite slowly to taste for any odd flavors, but when none came up, he nodded once in sanctification and took the rest of it. After all, no one was around, so he wasn't really stealing anything. If he didn't eat it, who would?

Tao's reasoning could not be beat.

That was, until an hour later, when he was seated on the toilet and groaning his woes to the confining white walls. It would go down as the first time in his life that he ever regretted eating cake.

He spent who-knew-how-many hours sitting there and he barely even noticed when he fell asleep. Yes, on the toilet. Because no one ever notices when they fall asleep, especially in the restroom.

And when he woke up at a later, irrelevant time, he found himself hungry. He hurriedly cleaned up and made his way out of the bathroom, feeling relatively better and much more hungry (but not for cake, for the first time ever). He was about to walk over to the kitchen when he ran into something.

Or rather, someone.

Momentarily forgetting any sort of wushu skills he had, Tao froze in horror at the tall stranger in front of him. Albeit the man was unbelievably handsome, that was no excuse for him to be in Tao's apartment.

"Who are you?!" Tao squealed, terrified. The stare he received only heightened his fears. He never knew anyone could be so... cold. He didn't get an answer, though; the man just kept looking at Tao, his face stoic and maybe even curious. Tao was about to make a run for his wushu stick when the man answered.

"How did you get in here?"

Well, okay, that wasn't really an answer, but at least it was something.

"What do you mean how did I get in here?! I LIVE HERE! How did you get in here?!" Tao sputtered, flailing his arms uncharacteristically.

The man pursed his lips, making a !face that Tao cowered in front of. "Huh. You're a lot younger than I expected..." he muttered, more to himself than to Tao.

"What are you talking about?!"

"Stop yelling!" he snapped, glaring at him. Tao shrunk back. "You're so loud!"

"You're yelling right now, though!" Tao countered defensively.

“That’s beside the point,” he said with a wave of his hand. “The point is that you’re here. You’re kind of late, too.”

“Late for what?!” Tao asked incredulously. He wasn’t aware he was supposed to be somewhere. Then again, he did vaguely remember signing up for some Gucci products tryout a while back, and he did forget the date for that. Was it today? Man, he hoped so.

“No time to explain,” the man replied shortly before pulling Tao out the door. The younger expected the door to open to reveal the stairway of the shabby apartment building he lived in, but he almost fell to his knees when instead he was greeted by a grand-looking hallway. He gasped, trying to find words to express his lack of understanding. The other looked over and smirked before dragging Tao forward.

“Wh-what is this?” Tao stammered, failing to keep up with the taller one as he lost his ability to actually function. Where was he?

“It’s a hallway.”

“Well, obviously,” Tao retorted, attempting to cross his arms but Kris’ grip was too strong. So he ended up only tucking one arm under his armpit in some sort of half-crossed-arms look that must have been pretty ridiculous.

“Then why did you ask?”

“I meant where are we, as in where where? Where, you know? Because there is no way we’re still in Seoul, because this hallway has way too many pretty lights, the floor isn’t covered in unknown substances, and it doesn’t smell like a mixture of pee and vomit.”

“Ew.”

Tao snorted. “Yeah, I know. So tell me - where are we?”

“We’re in the castle.”

Tao blinked. Last he knew of, there were no castles in Seoul - just really tall, dull-looking buildings and the occasional park here and there.

“Are we in Seoul...?” he began slowly.

“No.”

“... right...” And with that, Tao broke free from Kris’ hold and started running in the opposite direction back to his room. He was sprinting as fast as his long legs could push him, but it wasn’t fast enough. Almost as if he flew, the other man was in front of him and Tao almost ran straight into him. That was, if the man hadn’t moved a foot out of the way, allowing Tao to run into the door instead.

“Ouch...” Tao moaned, looking up dizzily at the unamused man.

“Serves you right for trying to run away. I mean, really, what would that have even accomplished?” the man asked, crossing his arms as he looked down at the younger.

“I just want to go back to my room,” Tao muttered, looking down at the floor without attempting to get back up.

“Why? You’d have to come out eventually,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Best do it now. After all, we’ve been waiting for you for so long.”

“What are you even talking about?” Tao groaned, frustrated. He wasn’t getting any real answers from this man, and it was starting to get on his nerves.

“I can’t tell you, because that’s King Chanyeol’s job -”

“King?”

“Yes, well, this is a castle,” the man deadpanned. “And a castle needs a king.”

“Technically, a noble could own a castle, or a -”

“I don’t care. That’s not how things work here.”

“And how do things work here?!” Tao asked, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “Because I don’t even know where here is. I don’t even know who you are!”

“I’m Kris.”

Well, at least he got one real answer.

“Where am I?”

“In the castle.”

Tao glared at him.

"Where?"

"In O'lara."

"Where?"

Kris sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Listen, it’ll all be explained once you meet our King and Queen.”

“But -”

“Cake will be there.”
 

: :

Tao couldn’t help that his jaw fell when he saw the King and ‘Queen’, because he had honestly been expecting a queen. As in a female.

Not a boy with an eye smile and fabulous eyeliner on.

“Uhhh,” he said, looking to Kris for explanation. But apparently this was normal to Kris, who ignored him and bowed respectfully. Tao copied Kris, unsure of what else to do.

“Oh, Baekhyunnie, look who’s here!” King Chanyeol said, smiling widely. It almost scared Tao, actually, the brightness of his smile. It was overwhelming.

“Ahh, he’s so cute! Look at that great body line!”

Tao shrunk back in horror as the king and queen ogled him like he was a piece of meat.

You're here for the cake, Tao told himself repeatedly. Even though the cake was the reason he was there in the first place.

"You guys are scaring him," Kris finally spoke up.

Chanyeol laughed merrily, and it sounded like a mixture between Santa Claus and a horse trying to escape from its demented owner.

"Sorry about that - er, what's your name?"

"Tao."

"Tao! What a nice name!" Chanyeol complimented, still smiling like a maniac.

"Thanks…"

"So, Tao, do you know what you're here for?"

The cake. "No."

"Well, it's quite simple, Tao. You see, our buffaloes have started to go missing…"

"I'm sorry, what?" He refused to believe what he just heard. Buffaloes?

"Our buffaloes have gone missing!" Chanyeol repeated in a louder voice.

"I - okay…"

"This started happening a while back, and so we consulted an oracle as to what we should do. Her exact words were: WEE HYAAA LULULAAA MNOKI ALA JIKL."

Tao stared.

"Which translates to: Your help will come. He is not of this land, nor this realm, but he will get here soon enough. He has the power of time in his hands, and he will be able to reverse the evil that has been taking your buffaloes."

Tao continued to stare. He was waiting for someone to start laughing and for Victoria or someone to jump out and yell, "Fooled you!" Except no one did - although Chanyeol's eternal look of pure insanity was starting to become suspicious - and Tao was tempted to break back out in a sprint and go to his room.

"The power of time?"

"Yes."

"Reverse the evil?"

"Mhm."

"You've got the wrong guy," Tao finally said, shaking his head. "I can't even keep track of time in the, er, real world. How am I supposed to reverse whatever is happening to your buffaloes? And what's so important about buffaloes -"

He was cut off by the loudest gasp he'd ever heard in his entire life. It sounded as if everyone in the entire kingdom - however large it was - heard him and all gasped together.

"The buffaloes are almighty in this kingdom, Tao!" Chanyeol said, rushing down to meet Tao with a (finally) serious face. "In our kingdom's anthem, our most memorable line is: roll like a buffalo."

"It's not really an anthem… more like a rap," Tao heard Kris mumble under his breath.

"They are beautiful creatures that our kingdom is known well for -"

"Besides gulls!" a random voice piped in.

"Yes, yes, and gulls, too," Chanyeol said. "But buffaloes - they are a vital asset to this kingdom. They cannot be allowed to go missing!"

"And only you have the ability to save them!" Baekhyun added, nodding.

"You're the only one who can save O'lara."

Tao groaned, his head hurting from all of this information. And he still didn’t have any cake.

a/n: Teresa (FiveMoreMinutes) is the better crack writer in this pair xD So expect more humor in her chapters than you will find in mine~ Thanks for reading, though, and we hope you enjoyed!

other a/n: DON'T LISTEN TO HER ^^^ SHE'S WONDERFURRRR