The following week was heaven on earth for Luhan.

He felt like he’d traveled back two years to the very beginning of his relationship with Jongin. Everything he wanted, everything he needed was right at his fingertips. Most importantly, the man he’d thought was long gone, the man he’d fallen in love with who he’d thought was nothing more than a distant memory, had returned. For the first time in over a year, he felt like his Jongin was back. The Jongin who had taken in a stranger and given him a home; who had looked after and helped him assimilate to this strange, new culture; the Jongin who put him first above all else, especially work and money.

For days they’d lingered at home, making love, talking, getting reacquainted and…making love some more. He’d felt bad, taking time off from work to be with Jongin thereby leaving Sehun in the lurch but Sehun had been understanding and supportive, saying that things were slow in the office anyway, now that everything had been settled with the university. His assumption of his position of visiting lecturer had been pushed back a week as well so it seemed fortuitous, like the stars had aligned to give Luhan and Jongin this time to get back on track. Jongin, too, had taken a few days off from work, something he hadn’t done in ages. That he was willing to do it for Luhan, for them, made it impossible for Luhan to overlook. Jongin was clearly trying so he had to meet him half way, whatever the cost.

They returned to work near the end of the week, Thursday, just in time for the weekend, which they had made tentative plans for.

Luhan let himself into Sehun’s house with his key, reminding himself to tone his obvious happiness down a notch. Sehun had been a good friend and boss by giving him a few days off but there was no need to rub it in his face. Rearranging his mouth until he felt like the perpetual grin he’d developed over the past week had been tempered, he took a deep breath and walked into the studio.

“Good morning,” he greeted cheerily.

Sehun smiled his usual warm smile, which instantly put Luhan at ease. He was such a worrywart, he told himself. Where Sehun was concerned, however, it simply wasn’t necessary. He was the most understanding person Luhan had ever met.

“Good morning. Glad to have you back.”

“Glad to be back,” Luhan replied with a laugh.

It was strange, Sehun thought, how much he’d missed simply seeing Luhan’s face. He purposely ignored the color in his cheeks, the sparkle in his eyes and the cheesy grin flirting across his lips. It didn’t take a genius to know what, or rather who, had put them there. Does your charity know no bounds?, his bitter inner voice asked. You should’ve just left well enough alone.

Ignoring it, he asked instead, “How’s Jongin-hyung?”

Luhan’s smile widened. “He’s great. He went back to the office today too. They act like the building will collapse if he’s gone for too long. I guess he really is a huge asset to them.”

Sehun nodded.

“Is there anything you need to update me on?” Luhan asked as he walked to his desk and began unpacking his things.

“No,” Sehun replied, following him. He leaned against the privacy screen and watched as Luhan arranged his things. “It’s been pretty quiet around here lately.”

Luhan glanced up. “Is everything set for next week? With the university?”

Sehun nodded. “The first lecture is on Tuesday at 6:00pm.”

Luhan opened his datebook and made a note.

“There,” he said upon finishing. “Is there anything you need me to do today? Do you have any laundry to pick up? Do we need to go to the supermarket? I completely forgot that you don’t pay attention to when you’re running low on food. Have you been eating properly? I forgot about that too. I can’t believe…”

Sehun reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder, laughter shining in his eyes. “Hyung…relax. I’m fine. I actually realized the refrigerator was almost empty when I finally remembered to feed myself one day so I went to the grocery and bought a lot of stuff. I can’t say whether it’s healthy but I definitely won’t starve,” he joked.

Luhan rolled his eyes. “I’ll double-check to make sure there are enough vegetables among the pile of junk. Anyway…” He plopped into his seat and looked up at his boss. “What are we doing today?”

“Actually…” Sehun began somewhat hesitantly. “I have an idea.”

Something about the way Sehun said it made Luhan freeze and look at him carefully. “An idea? For what?”

“Well… First, let me see your bag.”

Though it was a strange request, Luhan handed his bag to Sehun without question. When Sehun pulled out his wallet and opened it, his curiosity increased but he still said nothing. Sehun seemed satisfied, however, nodding to himself as he supposedly found whatever it was that he was looking for.

“Let’s go,” Sehun announced, already walking around the screen and heading out, Luhan’s bag still in his hand.

Confused, Luhan scrambled up and hastily hurried behind him.

“Where are we going?”

Sehun didn’t say anything until they were in the car.

“I’ve been thinking…” he began.

“So you said,” Luhan muttered uneasily.

Sehun grinned. “I’ve been thinking and...it occurred to me that there’s really no reason you should wait.”

Luhan frowned. “Wait? For what?”

Sehun glanced over at him. “To do your driving test, of course.”

“Wait, what?!” Luhan squawked. “I don’t…”

“You’ve been taking lessons for well over a month now,” Sehun explained. “Granted you haven’t had any in the last week or so I’m sure…” He looked over at Luhan for confirmation before continuing. “…so you might be a little rusty. That’s the only reason I’m not going to insist that you do it today. Tomorrow is good enough. Today we’re going to refresh your memory. Everything you’ve learned so far and anything that you haven’t that you need to know.”

“I…it’s…I don’t…” Luhan couldn’t form a coherent sentence. To say that Sehun’s idea had come out of left field was an understatement. During his time with Jongin, he’d completely forgotten about his little secret activity. To not only be reminded of it but to be told that he would be expected to do it so soon was quite a shock. He still wasn’t completely confident in his ability to commandeer a vehicle and having this sprung on him on such short notice would undoubtedly send his nerves into high gear. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“It doesn’t matter what you think. You’re going to,” Sehun insisted.

“But…what if I fail?”

“Then you’re fired.”

Luhan gasped in shock and his expression was so genuine that Sehun couldn’t contain his humor and burst out laughing.

“Oh my God, please tell me you don’t seriously think I’d fire you for that.”

Heat flooded Luhan’s cheeks, his eyes falling to his clasped hands. He knew that Sehun wasn’t so fickle as to dismiss him for something so irrelevant but still…simply hearing the words and the thought of not working for Sehun were just…crushing.

“I’m sorry,” Sehun apologized sincerely. “Please don’t be upset because I have a horrible sense of humor. It’s tasteless, absolutely tasteless.”

Luhan smiled. “It’s okay.”

“Anyway, I meant what I said. I do think you have what it takes to kick this test in the but if you should fail, then that’s okay. You’ll just do it again. Lots of people don’t pass on the first try. Wanna know a secret?” His voiced dropped to a conspiratorial whisper.

Luhan nodded, leaning closer.

“Jongin-hyung had to do it three times before he finally passed.”

Luhan gasped. “Seriously?”

Sehun nodded.

It was hard to think of confident, arrogant, good-at-everything Kim Jongin failing anything but Luhan knew that Sehun wasn’t just telling him that to boost his confidence. If he said it then it had to be true.

“How did that happen?” Luhan asked.

Sehun shrugged. “I’m not sure. He says it’s because the examiner didn’t like him or some other B.S. reason but I suspect that despite his confidence, he probably got a last minute case of nerves. Either that or his driving was really ty at the time.”

Sehun laughed and Luhan couldn’t help smiling in return. It was nice to think of Jongin as being human, just like the rest of them.

Sehun took Luhan to their usual driving spot: the small sports complex in his little residential area. It contained a tennis and basketball court, a small grass field for football/soccer, a gym and a swimming pool. It also had parking spots surrounding the entire building, which was why Sehun had chosen it. “Driving is simple enough so long as you stay in your lane,” he had told Luhan, “but parking is another story altogether. Parking is where it gets tricky.” After practicing his parking, they would venture out into the neighbourhood and drive around until they got tired. Or hungry, whichever came first.

Despite his initial nerves, Luhan had done really well under Sehun’s tutelage, in addition to the official driving instructor from the DMV, but after a week out of the saddle, he began questioning himself yet again.

“It’s like riding a bicycle,” Sehun insisted as he climbed out of the car to switch seats with Luhan. “You never forget and it comes back to you as soon as you’re behind the wheel.”

“Really?” Luhan asked hopefully, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

Sehun chuckled. “No. That’s just a lie people tell to fool themselves into thinking it’s going to be easy and that they can just pick up where they left off without some refresher classes. I don’t doubt that it works out fine for some people but it’s better to be safe than sorry. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you need a little help. Remember that for future reference.”

Luhan nodded seriously.

“Now do like I taught you. Seatbelt.”

“Check.”

“Mirrors?”

“Check.”

“Is your seat comfortable? Are you comfortable?”

Luhan examined his position and adjusted the seat slightly until he felt more evenly settled in it.

“Check.”

“Good. Start the engine and let’s go.”

Luhan gunned the engine, his fingers tightening reflexively around the wheel as it roared to life.

I can do this, he thought. Sehun had taught him, Sehun believed in him, his instructor had said that he was a natural. What was there to be worried about?

You could crash and kill the both of you, a little voice reminded him.

There was that, he supposed.

No. He could do this. He would do this. For himself, for Sehun, for Jongin. He had made great strides in the past couple of months. Now was not the time to start second-guessing himself. It was just a test. If he failed, he’d brush himself off and get back on the horse…or the car…whatever. It wasn’t the end of the world. He needed to stop thinking of failure as a door closing in his face. Life never stopped presenting chances. People only got stuck if they were too blind or afraid to see them.

He took one last deep breath, eased the gear into drive and took his foot off the brakes.

“I don’t think I can do this.”

Sehun rolled his eyes at Luhan but otherwise ignored him. He was having a meltdown but Sehun wasn’t paying him any attention. Their driving session the day before had gone splendidly. Luhan hadn’t forgotten a thing and he’d been really impressed that he hadn’t made too many errors despite not having driven for a week.

Now here they were at the DMV, Luhan’s turn coming up next, and he was looking green around the gills.

“Luhan, I swear if you vomit, I really will fire you.”

“I’m sorry,” Luhan said helplessly.

He was doubled over, arms wrapped tight around his middle, slowly rocking himself. All through the night before and into the morning, he’d remained buoyant and confident that he could do well. It helped that Jongin had come home in the same good mood that he’d left and their couple-ness had picked up where it had left off the night before. Now, however, at the moment of truth, he wasn’t so sure about his ability to pass this test. He wouldn’t be driving with Sehun, who he knew and was comfortable with. He might not even have the same instructor who had trained him. He would be driving with a complete stranger: someone who was looking for every reason to fail him; someone who might fail him simply because he didn’t like the way he looked.

“Luhan!”

Sehun’s voice snapped him out of his miserable thoughts and he looked up, blinking stupidly.

“Calm down. You can do this. And like I said, if you fail – and that’s a big if because I know that you won’t – you can simply do it over, as many times as it takes for you to pass. It’s not a big deal, okay?”

“It is a big deal,” he replied, surprising Sehun. “You’ve spent time and money helping me prepare for this test. If I fail…it will all have been a waste.”

Sehun smiled gently. “No it wouldn’t have. You needed to learn how to drive and now you know. If you fail, it just means that you’re not yet ready or able to handle the road all by yourself but it doesn’t mean you never will be. Stop being so negative. Where has the bright, cheerful, upbeat Luhan who walked into my house yesterday morning gone?”

“Lu Han.”

Upon hearing his name on the intercom, Luhan almost gave into another bout of anxiety but managed to stop himself by biting down on his tongue. The pain cleared some of his negative thoughts but not all of them.

Why did you got through all of this if you were only going to go this far?, that annoying little voice asked him. It was right, though: irritatingly so. Sehun had helped him but he was the one who had passed the written test and driven well enough that Sehun felt that he was ready to take the test. He needed to remember why he’d started in the first place. As much as he appreciated Sehun’s help, he was doing it for himself, wasn’t he? Sehun had given him a much needed push but he was the one who had to buckle down to make it across the finish line.

Standing up, he blew out a loud string of air. “You’re right. I’m being silly.”

Sehun’s eyes widened slightly in surprise but he nodded his head encouragingly and went along with it. “Just be calm. And be confident. Remember everything you learned and you’ll be fine.”

Luhan nodded. “Okay.”

“I’ll be waiting right here. I won’t move an inch,” Sehun promised.

Luhan gathered the necessary documents and started towards the exit.

“Luhan.”

He paused and turned back.

“Fighting!”

Sehun grinned widely and Luhan returned his smile as best he could with butterflies swarming in his stomach.

He would indeed be the one making it across the finish line but it helped having someone like Sehun in his corner.

The wait was nerve-wracking.

It would be shorter than the written exam since the track wasn’t that long but for Sehun, mere minutes felt like hours.

He had pushed Luhan into this. If he failed…well, he would feel partly responsible. Maybe he should’ve listened to him. Maybe he really wasn’t ready.

He was thinking of ways to make Luhan feel better, in the event of his failing, when the subject of his thoughts walked into the room. His expression was unreadable: his eyes and head tilted downward, his steps slow.

“Luhan? Hyung?”

Luhan looked up and flashed him a small smile.

“Hyung…how did it go?”

Luhan shrugged delicately. “I did my best. I know that I couldn’t have done any better, so…”

Oh, no! “I’m sorry, hyung,” Sehun said softly, guilt weighing heavily in his chest.

Luhan frowned. “Why? I did my best so…I passed!” Suddenly, his expression made a complete 180 degree turn. His entire face lit up, a grin splitting his lips from ear to ear, and he held out a slip of paper for Sehun to see where the examiner had ticked off all of the tasks that he’d completed.

“95,” Sehun said in wonder.

“I know! I was completely shocked but he said that I did extremely well. There was only one technical mistake I made so I lost five points but other than that, it was a perfect run.”

Giving into the flood of emotion coursing through him, Sehun gathered Luhan in his arms and hugged him tightly.

Laughing softly, Luhan laid his cheek against Sehun’s chest. Color tinged his cheeks as warmth spread throughout his chest but he ignored it. A hug was completely appropriate under the circumstances, he thought. Friends hugged friends to show their happiness. It meant nothing.

It took Sehun a moment to realize what he was doing. He hadn’t thought about it, merely acted, when he’d pulled Luhan against him. Now that he was there, however, he realized the implications of what he’d done. They hadn’t had any private or intimate moments since the kiss, had been too busy preparing for his university position, and then Luhan had taken a week off to mend his broken relationship. His immediate thought was to release Luhan and apologize for acting rashly but on the heels of that came the urge to hold him closer. Luhan hadn’t pulled away…perhaps he didn’t want to?

And yet…he couldn’t forget the sparkle in Luhan’s eyes when he had returned to work. That, if nothing else, told him that Luhan was happy with Jongin. Jongin had clearly taken his advice and now Luhan had everything he wanted. He was happy for him…or at least he should be, would be…eventually.

Stepping back, he ruffled Luhan’s hair playfully in an attempt to cover up his folly.

“See, I knew that you could do it. Confidence is key, hyung. Perhaps if you hadn’t been second-guessing yourself the entire time, you might have made a perfect 100.”

Luhan rolled his eyes and passed an absent hand through his hair. “I doubt it. But I’m happy, Sehunnie. So happy.”

Sehun smiled tenderly. Yes, he could see the happiness in Luhan’s eyes. The sparkle. This was a sparkle that didn’t turn his stomach, however. It was a sparkle that he was glad to have helped put there.

Sehun treated Luhan to a celebratory lunch before they returned to the office.

The upbeat mood lasted throughout the lazy afternoon and they talked about all the places Luhan wanted to go once he had a car at his disposal.

“Have you thought about how you’re going to tell Jongin-hyung?” Sehun asked, somewhat hesitant to bring up his friend.

Luhan chewed on his lip. “I have…a little. I haven’t made a concrete decision, though. I was thinking that maybe…” He blushed. “This is silly.”

“No, go on,” Sehun encouraged with a smile.

“Well… I was thinking that maybe I could rent or lease a car and take him out to dinner. Perhaps to his favourite restaurant or somewhere completely new.” Luhan’s blush deepened.

Sehun swallowed his jealousy and forced his smile to stay in place. “That sounds great, I’m sure he’ll love it.”

“There’s just the issue of the car…”

“That should be easy enough,” Sehun said, jumping up to get the phone book.

He was wrong.

Though he called several car rental dealerships, tried to charm and bargain, they all said the same thing: they did not rent or lease cars to new drivers. Luhan’s license was brand, spanking new, not even a day old, and all of the dealerships required drivers to have at least six months experience. Sehun understood the need for such a precaution but he was still frustrated by it.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, hating the crestfallen expression on Luhan’s face.

“It’s okay,” Luhan said, smiling slightly. “It was just a thought.”

They fell into silence for several long minutes, Luhan wallowing in his disappointment and Sehun trying to find a way to salvage his plan.

“You can borrow my car,” he suddenly blurted.

Luhan turned to him sharply, doe eyes enormously round. “What?”

Sehun nodded earnestly. “You can borrow it for the evening.”

“I…I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can.  I’m giving it to you. Consider it a gift for passing the test.”

“But…what if I crash?”

“Then I’ll garnish the cost of the damages from your wages!” Sehun joked. “Lighten up, hyung. You’ll be fine.”

Before Luhan could voice another objection, Sehun stood. “I think we’ll call it a wrap for today. It’s quiet and I don’t think anyone’s going to call, at least not about anything pressing. You go home early and prepare and I’ll finish up Jongin-hyung’s painting. I want to have it done by the end of the weekend.”

“Are you sure?” Luhan asked, still uneasy with the idea of taking Sehun’s only vehicle. He appreciated Sehun’s faith in him but it was such a huge responsibility.

“Yes, yes, don’t worry about it. I’ll even go with you to make sure that you get home safely, which I know you will. Having me there on the ride home should at least put you at ease.”

Luhan nodded gratefully.

“Wait!” Luhan suddenly screeched. “How will you get back home?”

Luhan cocked a brow. Pointing at his legs, he said, “These are called legs, hyung. They’re made for walking I’m told. They get you from point A to B. They also ride these things called buses. I don’t think I’ll have any problem.”

Giving in, Luhan packed his things and followed Sehun out the door. Sehun went directly to the passenger’s side and climbed in, gleefully handing Luhan the keys when he slid in behind the steering wheel.

“My life is in your hands, hyung. Be gentle with me.”

“That so doesn’t help,” Luhan muttered.

The drive home was relatively uneventful. Luhan did better than either of them expected. There were a couple of moments where Sehun’s hands might have dug into the seats or he may have double and triple checked his seat belt but other than that, it was a smooth ride. He couldn’t help but be thankful that both he and Jongin lived in quiet residential areas on the outskirts of Seoul that didn’t require them to drive through the heart of the city. He had no doubt that that would’ve been disastrous.

When they pulled up to Jongin’s front door, both men breathed a sigh of relief.

“See? What did I tell you?” Sehun asked, reiterating his earlier words.

Luhan flashed a smiled and proceeded to unbuckle his seat belt.

“I should’ve at least let you off at the bus stop. It’s not fair that you have to walk all the way back down.”

“I don’t mind. I could use the exercise. Being cooped up at home every day with little to no exercise is supposedly bad for my health,” Sehun joked as he climbed out of the car. He took a deep breath and looked around at the wide, lush surroundings. “It’s very peaceful here. Good lighting. I think I’d enjoy working here.”

“Maybe you should come by sometime,” Luhan offered hurriedly. “We’d be happy to have you.” He was honored that Sehun found his home to his liking. Though the house was undeniably Jongin’s, Luhan was the one who made sure that it was well taken care of and he had worked hard with the landscaper to get the grounds to look just right.

Sehun smiled at him over the roof of the car. “Sure. Whenever you invite me, I shall come running.” When Luhan’s cheek filled with hot color, his smile widened. Glancing around again, he asked, “So are you going to leave the car here? If so he’ll think that you have a visitor when he arrives.”

Luhan chewed on his lip thoughtfully. “Actually, I was thinking about parking around back or to the side. He never goes back there, always leaves his car right here unless he uses his chauffeur. He drove himself this morning, though.”

Sehun nodded. “Okay. I’ll leave you to it then.”

“Are you sure that I can’t take you to the bus stop? Or maybe to the bottom of the hill? Or I can walk with you to…”

“Luhan! Hyung, I’m fine. Truly. I have my trusty bus pass.” He flashed the card for Luhan to see. “And it’s a fine day. The weather is perfect for walking. Just…be careful on your way to work tomorrow. If you need me to come get you in the morning…”

“I won’t,” Luhan interjected firmly, showing the first glimmer of confidence that Sehun had seen all day. “But I will call when I’m leaving home…just in case.” He blushed again.

Grinning, Sehun waved and took off down the driveway.

“Sehun-ah!”

Sehun paused and turned, raising a hand to shade his face from the sun.

“Thank you. For everything.” Luhan knew that his face was probably a startling shade of red at this point, heat burning beneath the surface of his skin far more than the sun high up above.

Grinning, Sehun sketched a gentlemanly bow and, with a final wave, continued his trek down the driveway.

Luhan watched, feeling torn between not being helpful enough and excited at what was to come during the rest of the evening. Taking a deep, settling breath, he climbed back into the car and drove around to the far side of the house. Confident that Jongin couldn’t possibly see the car from the front, he let himself in and began his preparations.

He decided to cook, not knowing how late Jongin would be. If he already had dinner prepared then they could take a moonlight drive afterward. He wasn’t exactly sure where since he was hesitant to venture too far into the city, especially at night given his lack of experience, but they would figure it out later. Even if he only drove around their neighbourhood, he was sure that Jongin wouldn’t mind. He would still be proud of him.

Once he had the beginnings of Jongin’s favourite meal on the stove, he set the table, venturing out into the garden to cut an array of fresh flowers and arranged a small bouquet that he placed in the center of the table. Satisfied, he showered and dressed carefully, wanting to look nice. It was after 6:30pm by then and he was starting to wonder if Jongin was going to be working late.

“I should’ve called,” he said to himself. “I should call.”

Picking up his phone, he prevaricated for only a moment before pressing 2 for Jongin’s number.

The line was busy.

“He’s probably still at work,” he murmured. “Or driving home.” He was about to place the phone on the table when it rang in his hand. Seeing Jongin’s name on the screen, he smiled brightly as he answered.

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

“I was just trying to call you. I…”

“I’m going to be late tonight.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I let things back-up when I took those days off it seems.”

Luhan nodded to himself. “I understand. I’d planned to surprise you with dinner. I even made your favourite and…”

“Well, I can’t just drop everything to come eat with you, Luhan,” Jongin snapped tersely.

Luhan froze, a chill washing over him. Or was it Déjà vu?

Jongin sighed on the other end. “Look, I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. It’s just been a really long day.”

“I understand,” Luhan repeated softly.

“Listen, I’ve got to go. Don’t wait up.” Click.

“Bye,” Luhan whispered to dead air, lowering his phone to the table. The sense of buoyancy he’d felt before speaking to Jongin was completely gone. He was disappointed, more than he thought he could ever have been, but work was work. Or so he told himself.

“If it was avoidable, he would be here,” he said to himself as he finished preparing dinner. “Things are good between us. Let’s not automatically assume the worst.” Please, let’s not.

Despite Jongin’s assertion that he would be late, Luhan still waited, hoping that luck would be on their side. His side. When 8:30 rolled around and Jongin didn’t appear or call, he served himself a small plate, only because he hadn’t eaten for hours. He wasn’t really hungry but he knew that he would pay for it the next day if he didn’t eat. He showered again, changed into his pajamas and sat down to wait. There was nothing of interest on the television so he took it off and stared at the reflection of the pool on the glass windows.

At 10:35, he decided to call it quits. The night was no longer salvageable and clearly Jongin had meant it when he told him that he was going to be late and not to wait up. He packed away the food, leaving a plate for Jongin in the microwave and a note on the refrigerator in case he went scrounging around looking for something to eat when he got home. He switched off all the lights except the one in the foyer and trudged towards the master bedroom.

His movements were purely mechanical at this point. His spirits were so down that he basically felt nothing. He told himself that it wasn’t the end of the world, that Jongin had a demanding, stressful job that required him to put in long hours. It wasn’t anything new so why was he acting like it was?

But that was the problem. It was all too familiar. Anxiety clawed at him, questions of what if and suppositions popping in and out of his mind. As much as he didn’t want to think too much of it, as much as he wanted to believe in the fairytale of the past week, experience wouldn’t be ignored.

After brushing his teeth and washing his face in an attempt to cool his thoughts, he climbed into bed and rolled over on his side. His body felt weary but his mind was far too alert to sleep. His eyes glued onto the alarm clock at the side of the bed, watching the minutes go by.

When he heard the front door open, the deactivation of the alarm signaling that Jongin was home, the clock read 11:45. He tried to track Jongin’s movements by listening intently but the house was simply too big. Sometimes he heard movement and other times it was dead silent.

When he finally heard Jongin’s soft footfalls down the hallway, having left the door ajar, he closed his eyes and feigned sleep, though his fingers were tightly curled into his pillow. Without the benefit of sight, he once again listened as Jongin moved towards the bathroom, showered, dressed and walked back out. The bed dipped as Jongin settled in and though he told himself not to hope, he couldn’t help wanting some kind of contact with Jongin. A hug, a kiss, the barest of touches. Some kind of sign that everything was okay.

Please, he thought desperately. Something. Anything.

He waited and waited but nothing came. And when he heard the first soft snore drift up from Jongin’s mouth, he knew for sure that nothing would[come].

Luhan tidied the kitchen while Jongin read the stock reports on his laptop as he sipped on an after-dinner brandy.

It was Saturday night and though Jongin hadn’t worked as late as he had the previous nights, he’d said that he was too tired to do anything so they’d stayed in.

After the failed surprise on Thursday, and an almost identical repeat on Friday, Luhan was once again resigned to taking what he could get. He would’ve liked to have gone out with Jongin, even for a little drive around the neighbourhood like he’d planned days before, but he was happy to have him home all the same. They’d had a nice dinner and now he was hoping that they could wind up the night with a sweet love-making session, or even just some cuddling. Just something. He wasn’t very picky.

When the doorbell rang, they both jumped.

“Did you leave the gate open again?” he asked, heading to the foyer. For someone as conscientious as he, Jongin had a habit of forgetting to close the gates. Luhan always set it to close automatically once he’d passed through but Jongin often left it open, saying that he never knew if he would need to go out again. It took 3.5 seconds for the gate to open, Luhan always thought. Couldn’t he spare even that?

Checking the viewing screen, he frowned. He did not recognize the face at all.

“Open the door, Luhan,” Jongin called, still seated at the table.

Cautiously, Luhan opened the door just wide enough for the person to see his face.

“Hello?”

Bright blue eyes and pearly, white teeth greeted him.

“Hi. I’m looking for Kim Jongin. This is his house, isn’t it?”

Luhan nodded slowly.

“May I come in?”

“May I ask who…”

The stranger caught himself and laughed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t introduced myself, did I?” He offered his hand. “I’m Scott. Scott Taylor. I’m an old friend of Jongin’s.”

An old friend?, Luhan wondered. How come he hadn’t seen this person in the two years since he’d been living with Jongin, if he and this person were supposedly so close?

“Luhan!” Jongin called again.

Stepping back, he opened the door wider. “Please come in.”

He closed the door behind the stranger and led the way towards the kitchen. A tremor ran down his spine and he suppressed the urge to turn around. He had the distinct feeling that the man, this Scott, was staring at him intently.

Jongin glanced up as he entered, jumping out of his seat when he saw who came in behind Luhan.

“Scott!”

The two men embraced, patting each other on the back.

Luhan watched them closely, wondering what exactly the nature of their relationship was. He wasn’t the least bit jealous but it was weird to have someone he’d never met come to their house in the middle of the night – okay, it was only after 10:00 – and stranger still to have Jongin look so happy to see him. Jongin usually maintained some reserve when socializing. Then again, most of their guests were usually clients or his bosses, older people who he wanted to impress. When it came to friends, Jongin was a bit light in that area. He simply didn’t have the time to maintain such relationships. As far as Luhan knew, anyway.

“What are you doing here?” Jongin asked, genuinely pleasantly surprised.

“I came over on business, decided to mix in a little pleasure – you know me – and thought I’d drop in to see how my friend is doing.” He paused and glanced at Luhan. “From the looks of things, I’d say you’re doing pretty darn good.”

Jongin laughed. “I have no complaints.” Looking over at Luhan, he said, “We’ll have a drink in my study. Can you bring some ice? I think the bar is out.” Without waiting for a reply, he ushered his friend out of the room, their voices drifting behind them.

Wordlessly, Luhan packed an ice-bucket and proceeded to follow them. He didn’t know who this Scott guy was but…he didn’t like him. He didn’t like the way he had looked at him. His eyes…they were cold, calculating. Though he smiled, it didn’t reach that far up.

From the looks of things, I’d say you’re doing pretty darn good.

What did that even mean?

As he entered the study, he noticed that Jongin hadn’t poured their drinks yet. Stifling a sigh, he walked over to the bar and set down the ice-bucket. He placed two glasses side-by-side and picked up the bottle of brandy, knowing that Jongin preferred it, but before he could pour, Scott’s voice stopped him.

“I’ll take a scotch on the rocks, if you don’t mind.”

“Same for me,” Jongin piped up.

Luhan frowned but did as he was instructed. Jongin absolutely hated scotch and yet he was willing to drink it. Why? Who was this Scott guy? They were friends, weren’t they? The only time Jongin ever schmoozed was with clients. It was understandable then since he was trying to impress them but if Scott was his friend, why on earth would he need to impress him?

Placing the glasses on a serving tray, he slowly made his way towards the table.

“He’s quite lovely. Where did you find him?” Luhan heard Scott say. Except…he was no longer speaking Korean.

Contrary to what he probably believed, Jongin did not know everything about Luhan. One of the few secrets that he had kept from him was that though he wasn’t fluent, he could understand English reasonably well. Far better than he could speak it in fact. It wasn’t something that he’d set out to hide but Jongin had never asked and he had never had the opportunity to tell him. It had come in handy over the years, however, when Jongin entertained foreign clients and they switched tongues thinking that he couldn’t understand them. Some of the things he’d overheard made his face burn, others had made him want to crawl into a hole. Still, he was thankful that at least he knew. It would be worse if he took people at their word without realizing just how two-faced they really were.

“On a pier,” Jongin replied, taking a sip of the scotch, managing not to show his displeasure as it burned its way down his throat.

“Chinese? You said Luhan right?” Scott asked nonchalantly, also taking a sip as he boldly perused Luhan over the rim of his glass.

Uncomfortable with the attention, Luhan returned to the bar and pretended to tidy up as he listened and watched out of the corner of his eye.

Jongin nodded. “Yes. He had literally just stepped off the boat when I saw him. The rest, as they say, is history.”

“Lucky… Luckier still that I wasn’t there,” Scott teased, grinning wolfishly.

Jongin laughed. “Oh? Like that would have made a difference.”

“You bet your .” The look in Scott’s blue eyes became intense. “There’s something about him… Of course, he’s beautiful but there’s more.”

“You can look but you can’t touch,” Jongin joked, laughing again.

Luhan heard the edge of nerves in the sound, however. He recognized it well, had heard it many times before whenever Jongin felt like he was being put in a difficult position with very important people.

“Have you ever seen the movie Indecent Proposal?” Scott asked suddenly.

Jongin’s smile slipped a little. “No. Don’t think I have.”

Scott’s intense gaze met his, gauging his reaction as he spoke. “It’s about a man who receives an offer that he can’t refuse.”

Jongin frowned. “An offer?”

“One million dollars for a night with his wife,” Scott says calmly, steely blue eyes boring into Jongin’s.

Jongin’s eyes widened in shock. It didn’t take a genius to figure out where Scott was going.

Seeing the awareness in Jongin’s eyes, Scott continued. “I’m prepared to make you that same offer.”

Icy cold washed over Luhan, momentarily freezing him in place. His heart seemed to have stopped as well, his chest and ears burning from the constriction.

This couldn’t be happening, he thought. Things like this didn’t happen in real life. It was just a dream.

Why isn’t Jongin saying anything?

“A million dollars? Are you serious?”

No! That wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

Moving away from the bar, Luhan bowed to the two men and exited the room.

“Can he understand us?” Scott asked idly.

Jongin shook his head, clearing his throat. “No. No, he doesn’t speak English.”

Luhan leaned against the wall outside the door, taking deep, calming breaths as he fought to suppress the panic threatening to rise in his chest. Of all the times that he’d longed for Jongin to defend him, to stand up for him, he’d never wanted it more than he did just then.

“Please,” he whispered.

“So, what do you say?” Scott asked. “Are you in?”

“You’re serious?” Luhan heard Jongin say with an uncomfortable chuckle.

Scott didn’t say anything so he assumed he must have nodded or something because Jongin followed with, “You know, a million won isn’t a lot. Luhan it worth far more to me than that.”

“I’m aware. I was thinking more like…one million U.S.”

Jongin made a choking sound. Had he been drinking from his glass? Luhan was too nervous to look.

“A million U.S,” Jongin repeated lamely.

“Or pounds,” Scott said nonchalantly. “Euros. You know money is no object to me. When I want something, there’s no price I’m not willing to pay. So…” Luhan heard the subtle shifting of a body. “What do you say?”

Say no, he mentally pleaded. Please, for once just say the right thing.

Jongin laughed awkwardly again. “I’ll give it some thought and get back to you.”

Seemingly content with that response, Scott dropped the subject and they moved onto a new topic.

Numb with disbelief, Luhan dragged his feet all the way to the bedroom.

Numb wasn’t quite the right word, he decided. He’d been disappointed to the point of shock. He’d thought…he’d let himself believe that things had changed. That, despite the challenges of the past couple of days, the new foundation they’d laid in their relationship the week before was going to last. They were supposed to build from that, start anew.

It had only been a patch-job, he realized. They hadn’t really fixed anything. Jongin hadn’t changed at all. They’d merely glossed over the problems they’d had so that it looked pretty and shiny and new but underneath the sparkly finish, everything was still the same: dirty, grimy, ruined.

Had Jongin meant any of the things he’d said, he wondered as he changed his clothes, or had he only said them because Sehun had told him to? He remembered thinking the same thing that day. Then he’d looked down into Jongin’s eyes and seen what he’d thought had been sincerity. Had he only seen what he’d wanted to see? He’d been struggling with his attraction to Sehun at that point, still coming to terms with the fact that he’d kissed him, and his unhappiness with his relationship with Jongin had taken its toll on him. Perhaps his own guilt had made him allow himself to be gullible, allowed him to believe what he’d been longing to hear for as long as he could remember.

But…it hadn’t just been what Jongin had said that day. He’d spent days and nights after showing Luhan how much he cared. If it was all fake, why would he do that? Why would he take time off from work, which he loved and lived for, for the sake of maintaining a pretense?

Confused, he climbed into bed, curling into himself. He couldn’t help wondering if Jongin really loved him, had ever loved him. Being unable to definitively answer that question hurt more than anything else.

It was some time before he finally heard the front door open, several more minutes again before he heard Jongin coming down the hall. He closed his eyes and slowed his breathing. It was sad how good he was becoming at faking sleep.

Jongin didn’t spend much time in the bathroom, climbing into bed mere minutes after entering the bedroom. Luhan felt him lean towards him, felt the heat of his chest against his back.

“Lulu…Are you asleep?” he whispered into his ear, the air tickling his sensitive flesh.

He held himself still, not even allowing the slightest twitch to travel through his body.

“Ahh, you are,” Jongin breathed, sliding his hand around Luhan’s waist as he pulled himself flush against him. “Pity…we could have had some fun.”

Jongin kissed the back of his neck and again shivers threatened. Luhan didn’t know if it was the alcohol talking but he could feel the evidence of Jongin’s arousal through the thin material of his pajama pants. He desperately wanted to shift away from it but to do so would signal that he was awake, or at least not deeply asleep. That would be all the invitation Jongin would need and he didn’t think that he could bare to have Jongin touch him right then. The mere thought made him queasy.

So he stayed still, biting his lip to hold back the sobs that threatened as silent tears slipped down his cheeks.

And he waited, finally allowing himself a single whimper when he heard the soft sound of Jongin’s slumber before wiping away the traces of his tears and willing himself to sleep.

Monday morning…

It only took one look at Luhan’s face to tell Sehun that the honeymoon was over.

The sparkle was gone, almost as if it never was.

“How was your weekend?” he asked as nonchalantly as he was able, briefly glancing up from his easel so as not to appear over-eager.

“It was okay,” Luhan replied quietly.

Putting down his brush, Sehun’s face became serious. “Is everything okay? Everything alright with you and Jongin-hyung?” As much as he didn’t want to know, he couldn’t bear the lifelessness in Luhan’s beautiful eyes.

Luhan smiled but it didn’t come close to reaching his eyes. “We’re good.”

Liar.

“Hyung…I hope you know that if you ever need someone to talk to… I’m here for you. As a friend.”

Luhan smiled again. “I know. Thank you.” With that, he walked around the partition, effectively ending the conversation. If that wasn’t a mind your own business, Sehun didn’t know what was.

Three days.

Friday morning, when he’d returned the car, Luhan’s sparkle had seemed slightly diminished but it had still been there. However, something had obviously happened after he’d left work Friday afternoon. So three days was all it had taken for Jongin to undo everything that he’d accomplished the week before. Now Luhan was the one paying the price and there was nothing Sehun could do about it.

A sharp crack and a painful prick in his thumb drew his eyes downward and he realized that he had unconsciously picked his brush back up…and snapped it in two.

“Dammit!”