My name is Park Chanyeol. People often say that I’m handsome and I agree to  that. I mean, if you could see me right now, you’ll probably also think the same way. Standing at 182 cm, I towered over other guys. My body is still quite lacking at the moment but if I find time to work out, then it would be greater than what it is now. My face is the perfect proportion. And in addition to everything, I have a deep voice that makes ladies swoon.

I’ve gone out with a few girls before and I might date some more in the future. Who knows? With a face and body like mine, you never really know what might happen. And truth behold, I never expected, not even imagined, what happened next.

It all started one gloomy afternoon as I was looking for a place to shelter myself from the rain. I just finished my last class for the day and was about to go home when the rain started pouring. A few meters away was a small café where I haven’t really gone to before. You know those kind of places where it is really awkward to go alone? It’s that kind of place. Without much thinking, I put my hoodie on and ran to the café.

The door made a bell ringing sound as I entered. Inside, there’s a line of people ordering. Some of them must be here to stay out of the rain, like me. I stood in line and tried drying my slightly wet hair as I wait for my turn. While doing so, my head turned to a corner of the café. It wasn’t anything special. Wooden table and chairs, a coffee mug atop the table, a plant by the wall, a see-through glass wall wet from the rain. There wasn’t anything special about it for me to stop and stare at it.

But I did.

Sitting there silently was a guy with blonde hair. He was wearing a long sleeved white polo shirt and a pair of black pants. Even while he’s sitting, I can tell that he’s way taller than me. Maybe around 190 cm. His clothes were too simple compared to my flashy outfit yet they somehow fit him perfectly. He shines.

I must be staring at him for quite a long time because the line in front of me already disappeared and the lady at the cashier asked me what my order is in obvious irritation. She probably asked me about five times, judging by her expression. I smiled at her and cutely said I wanted a frappe. Her face brightened up and told me to wait for a while. Handsome guy Chanyeol, one point.

Looking around, I realized that there’s an empty table right beside that guy. I paid and took my frappe. I made my way to the table. For some reasons I don’t understand, my heart started beating fast. As I got nearer, he saw me. He must be a really nice person because when our eyes met, he smiled at me. I smiled back. My heart felt like it stopped.

I took my seat and placed the frappe on the table. Good thing I didn’t drop it a while ago. My body went stiff the moment our eyes met. Then when he smiled, I felt some sort of electricity ran through my veins. It’s really weird. I’ve never felt anything like it. Except maybe for that time I electrocuted myself while playing with a broken socket when I was 4 years old. Still, it wasn’t even close to that.

I took a sip of my frappe thinking it could calm down my nerves. It did not. The mere fact that our bodies were only a few inches away made me extremely uncomfortable. But as weird as it already is, I still liked it.

Overwhelmed by these new emotions, and towards a guy even, I tried thinking of other things. I looked outside through the glass wall. It’s still pouring out there. I suddenly thought about all the relationships I had in the past. Have I felt anything even close to what I felt towards this man? That electricity. That fast beating of my heart.

Lost in thoughts, my eyes chanced a glimpse of a reflection. His reflection. Now that I see him closer like this, I noticed how beautiful he is. That’s something really big for me to say. That’s a huge compliment coming from a handsome person like me.

His face looked like it has been chiselled by a genius sculptor. His skin was white and looked like it’s really soft. Through his reflection, I studied his details. His eyes. His nose. His lips. Unknowingly, a smile curved from my lips.

I stayed like that for a while even after he left the café. The rain did not show any sign of stopping so I just decided to go home. That night, I went home wet and ready to forget what happened. The fact that I became attracted to another man is beyond me. Tomorrow when I wake up, it will be something that is only like a dream.

I was wrong. The moment I entered the gate of my high school, there he was, doing nothing but walking yet still shining more than everybody else. I didn’t know that he was at the same school as me. Why didn’t I realize that before?

Later on, I learned from my friends that his name is Wu Yi Fan and he is one of the famous basketball players. I was never interested in basketball so I didn’t know him. In the afternoon, I went to watch the team’s practice. 

My eyes followed him as he dribbled the ball. The way he shoots is so beautiful, I can’t help but smile. With sweat running down his face, I realized how manly he looked. It seemed that even his team mates have already fallen for him.

Clutching my bag hanging on my shoulder, I turned to leave. As I was about to go, I felt a light nudge on my foot. I looked down. It was a basketball.

“Can you pass the ball here?”

I shifted my gaze from the ball to the direction of the voice. It was Yi Fan.

Slowly, I grabbed the ball with one hand. “This?”

“Yeah.” He smiled. I almost dropped the ball.

I lightly passed the ball to him which he confidently accepted. “Thanks!”

I expected him to go back but he passed the ball to another team mate and walked towards me. I froze in my place.

“Hi, I’m Yi Fan.” He offered his hand.

“’Sup. Chanyeol.” I shook his hand.

“I saw you easily grab that ball with just one hand. Do you play?”

“Play?”

He laughed and placed one of his hand on his hip while the other on the back of his head. “I mean basketball. Do you play basketball?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I don’t and I can’t.”

“Sorry. I assumed that you do coz you looked professional a while ago.”

“Sorry to disappoint you but I really don’t play.”

“Oh..”

Silence. Awkward.

“You see, I really have to—”

“Do you want to learn how to play?”

And that’s how it all started. Or at least how it became clear to me. I like this guy. I’m attracted to him. I, handsome guy Park Chanyeol fell in love. With a man.

I said yes. I came to practice the next day. Yi Fan hyung personally taught me how to hold the  ball first. Then he explained the rules. I wasn’t listening. Seriously. Staring at how his lips move while he talks was way more interesting than those rules. I can’t remember how many times I had to stop myself from touching them. With my own lips.

As the days passed, he personally trained me. He said I have potential and I really catch up fast. He said he liked me. I know he means it the way any trainer feels about his trainee but I still felt good after hearing it. As we grew closer, I realized that what I feel is something that is impossible to explain but it is still there. It’s real.

We talked about stuff when there’s no practice. We ate together, laughed together. We probably did everything together. Except showering together after practice. I never had the courage to do that. 

But the more I became closer to him, the more I worried about having to part ways.

I’ve known this since the day I knew his name but I ignored it. Still, it came. You see, Yi Fan hyung is only an exchange student from China. He has to go back.

The whole team went to the airport to say goodbye. It was the hardest thing I had to do. I barely prevented myself from crying.

“Chanyeol, I hope that you won’t stop playing basketball just because I’m going away.” He patted my head.

I smirked. “Why would I do that? Now that you’re going, I might be the next team captain.”

He laughed. He was shining. “Okay then.” He turned to our team mates. “Bye guys, thank you for making my stay here worthwhile.”

Waving for the last time, he turned to leave. My hands, as if moving on their own, grabbed him by the shoulder. “Hyung.”

He stopped and looked at me. “Why Chanyeol?”

Without thinking, I went for an embrace. Tightly. “I will miss you, hyung.”

The tears also started falling. He wiped on them. “I will miss you too, Chanyeol.”

“Hyung.“ Then, as hushed as I could, I whispered. “I love you.”

He stared at me for a while; his hand on my cheek. “I love you too, Chanyeol.” Then he smiled. “Can you wait for me a bit more?”

I didn’t know what he meant with those words. That moment, I’m not even sure if I’ll see him again.

___

That was quite a long time ago. I’ve changed a lot (but still as handsome as ever). Years later, here I am, an idol group member from SM Entertainment. We just debuted but we already have a steady fan base. I’m very grateful.

I became a member of rookie group EXO. There’s two groups in EXO. EXO-K. EXO-M. One which is active in Korea and one in China. EXO-M has four Chinese members and two Koreans. Their leader is Kris hyung. We’re really close. We also play basketball together. Whenever I got asked during interviews which member has the strongest first impression, I always say that it was him. “It was a rainy afternoon when I first met Kris hyung. That moment, I fell for him,“ was my answer. MCs would laugh and tell me that I would do well in a variety show. Only the two of us know what my answer meant. 

Oh. I forgot to say that Kris is just his stage name. His real name is Yi Fan.