“It’s not going to work out.”

“Why?”

“It’s just not.”

“But–“

“I’m going to go.”

“You’re an .”

Suho had been called an multiple, multiple times. It didn’t affect him anymore.

“I know.”

“Get the out of my face.”

“I was planning to.”

He watched the girl stalk off, not really feeling anything.

All he wanted was to find that special someone. Maybe that was why all of his relationships failed.

 

That was when he had been a college freshman.

 

 

 

 

 

Suho was all but ready to throw his chemistry textbook at the wall. He didn’t even know why he was taking the stupid class. He was a visual and performing arts major. Why the hell was he taking chemistry.

But it was too late to drop the course. Suho hadn’t found out about the deadline until it was a week too late.

He hit his head on his desk.

 

The first couple months of labs were grueling. Suho barely knew the polyatomic ions, let alone each element’s position on the activity series. Not to mention all of their molar masses. He came to the conclusion that chemistry majors were crazy. Totally crazy.

 

After a particularly painful day at the lab, Suho straggled into his dorm room, nursing a chemical burn on his hand.

There was someone sitting on Kris’s bed. Suho stared at him.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Kai.”

“And what are you doing on Kris’s bed?”

“Um…someone told me that you’re taking chemistry, and you need help because it’s not your major.”

Suho stared at him.

“Who told you that?”

“Your professor.”

Suho rolled his eyes. He hated his professor, but she was right when she said that she needed help.

Kai stood up, his eyes narrowing as he saw the burn on Suho’s hand.

“What did you get on your hand?”

“What? Oh…um. Just some hydrochloric acid,” Suho mumbled.

“Hydrochloric acid. You got hydrochloric acid on your skin. Are you serious.”

“Don’t judge me.”

“What was the concentration the solution?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you care?”

“No.”

“I assumed so.”

 

Kai sighed pulled a medical kit out of his bag, which was on Kris’s bed.

 

What kind of a weirdo carries around a medical kit in his bag?

 

While Kai was treating his burn, Suho took the opportunity to study his face. He came to the conclusion that while the other boy was definitely good looking, he wasn’t necessarily beautiful.

 

“And…there. You’re good. Just try not to touch stuff with that hand. And change bandages every day. I’ll leave you a couple; you can buy more of them at the drugstore.”

“Thanks.” Even to Suho’s ears, the words were grudging.

“You’re welcome.”

Kai tucked the medical kit back into his bag and slung it over his shoulder.

 

Right before he left, Suho called out, “So you’re going to tutor me in chem?”

Kai paused.

“You don’t seem like someone who can be tutored.”

“I need tutoring. I never know what the hell is going on in class and I need a passing grade to graduate. Help me,” Suho pleaded with Kai. Whether he liked it or not, Kai could actually save his grade. And Suho needed that.

“Fine. When are you free?”

“Tuesdays. Four to seven. We could go to the library.” Suho paused. “What’s your rate?”

“What rate?”

“Rate…of pay.”

“Why would you pay me?”

“Well why else would you tutor people?”

Kai looked at him strangely.

“You don’t have to pay me. I’ll see you next Tuesday, in the library, from four to seven.”

He walked out, shutting the door behind him.

 

Suho realized that Kai had never told him what major he was. He flung the door open and ran down the hallway, looking for the boy.

 

“Hey! HEY! Kai!”

Kai turned.

“What major are you?”

“I’m doubling in Physics and Chemistry.”

 

Why would anyone double in physics and chemistry? This guy is crazy.

 

“When are you graduating?”

“When I’ve learned enough.”

Suho didn’t know what to say to that. Kai shrugged and then turned to keep walking in his original direction.

 

 

 

 

 

Suho thought that by his junior year of college, he would have found the right person.

Here he was, in his junior year of college.

No girlfriend.

No life, because of chemistry.

Hell, no boyfriend.

 

Suho had accepted a while ago that he was bi. He didn’t really care anyway. If he was bi, it meant that there were more possibilities out there. More possibilities were nice.

 

The first guy he dated was at the end of his freshman year in college.

His name was Chanyeol.

Suho didn’t really see him around anymore. They still went to the same school, but while Suho was a visual and performing arts major, Chanyeol was majoring in computer engineering. They had been attracted to each other because they were so opposite.

It had been total chance that they had met, at a local frat party. Suho had been sober, for once. Sober enough to pick Chanyeol out as the awkward computer nerd from the crowd of students. He had looked so sweet and lost that Suho had to go over and drag him out of the party. He didn’t belong there. Chanyeol had followed him to a coffee shop, and Suho had impulsively kissed him. He tasted like the caramel latte he had been drinking.

Not bad for the first kiss.

For four months, everything was awkward and perfect.

But it went downhill from there.

Chanyeol became too clingy, following Suho around everywhere, sometimes even skipping his own classes to wait for Suho.

Suho couldn’t stand clingy people. Not then, not now, not ever.

So, being the heartless monster he was, he dumped Chanyeol. The innocent boy he had rescued from the crazy frat party.

 

Suho got over it.

 

The second guy he dated was a Chinese foreign exchange student majoring in Applied Music, three months after Chanyeol. A kid name Luhan. Luhan had been pretty, very pretty for a guy. He was also shy and quiet, which was originally why Suho had been drawn to him.

Suho had been drinking with a couple with his friends at a local bar; it was just another night. And then he had looked up to see Luhan wiping tables that were a couple down from where they were sitting. Even from a distance, Suho could see that the other boy was pretty. And Suho liked pretty things.

Suho impulsively decided to go over to him and flirt, just a little.

The boy had been sweet, introducing himself and even helping Suho into a seat.

Suho’s friends took this chance to all leave, because they knew that Suho would want some time with this new plaything.

When Suho saw that his friends had left, and the bar was empty save him and Luhan, he made quite a show of fainting.

Luhan had picked him up, loaded him into his car, and driven him to his apartment. He had carried Suho to his bed and even tucked him in.

Suho had actually been conscious the whole time. He knew how to handle his alcohol.

The next morning, Suho awoke to Luhan gently shaking him, his doe eyes big with concern.

Suho had acted hung over, which made Luhan fuss over him more; he brought Suho glasses of water and made him blueberry pancakes. Suho watched Luhan as he did this, observing the tiny details of his doll-like face. His prettiness fascinated him.

Suho visited the bar a couple more times during the next month. He eventually persuaded Luhan to have a drink with him. Just a drink.

It turned out that drunk Luhan was very different from sober Luhan. Sober Luhan was very quiet, calm and shy. Drunk Luhan was quite the party animal.

They went onto the dance floor, at first just swaying innocently to the music. Luhan, to Suho’s surprise, was the first to make a move. He grabbed Suho’s hips and pulled him closer, pressing his lips onto his. Suho hadn’t resisted; rather, he grinded his hips into Luhan’s, wrapping his arms around the taller boy, pulling him closer. Luhan tasted of alcohol, but Suho didn’t mind.

They somehow made it off of the dance floor and into Luhan’s car, still making out furiously, their mouths staying connected. Luhan slipped his hands under Suho’s thin shirt, pulling it over his head and throwing it in the trunk. Suho reached to undo Luhan’s pants, but saw that they had already been removed. And the same for his own.

Luhan was quick.

Their first time had been that night, but both of them could barely remember it, so they decided to void that time.

It didn’t really matter; there were many other times anyway.

Suho eventually found out that Luhan had been cheating on him with some nerd who was majoring in bioengineering. Oh Thehun, or whatever the hell his name was.

Suho hadn’t been able to understand him through his lisp.

But Luhan had looked at him like he was a god, and Suho couldn’t stand it.

 

It took a while, but Suho got over him too.

 

That had been his last long relationship. The ones that followed were short, but not sweet. They were mostly one night stands, usually people that Suho met at frat parties. He even had a couple friends with benefits for a while, before they got attached and Suho had to cut them off.

 

Suho wondered if he’d ever find someone.

 

 

 

 

“Suho hyung!” Suho turned to see Lay running up behind him.

“Hey, why the rush?”

“I heard the Chemistry professor got you a tutor,” Lay said with a smirk.

“Yup.”

“Have you met him?”

“Yup.”

“And…”

“I don’t know.”

Lay raised an eyebrow.

“Woah. So he’s not ‘gorgeous and you have to him’ or ‘get that away from me’?”

“No. He’s just really weird.”

“Weird how? Like you and me weird, or nerdy weird, or emo weird, or goth weird…”

“He’s just…weird. I’ll see him this Tuesday, I’ll tell you more then.”

“Cool.” Lay lightly punched Suho on the shoulder before running toward his next class. Which reminded Suho that should get going to his next class too.

 

Suho slid into his seat in Chemistry, the familiar feeling of dread seeping into his belly. The professor barely glanced at him before starting to lecture, which was a relief.

Until Suho realized that he had no idea what the hell was going on.

He probably should have done the reading last night. And the night before. And the night before that. And the night before that. Etc.

 

There was a tap on his shoulder, and Suho turned to see none other than Kai behind him.

“You were almost late.” Suho didn’t like Kai’s tone.

“Emphasis on almost.”

Kai rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything.

“You’re in this class?”

Kai shushed him and started taking notes. Soon, the drone of the professor’s voice overpowered Suho’s ability to focus, and he fell asleep, using his textbook as a pillow.

Usually, the professor let him sleep, because sleeping Suho is easier to deal with than awake Suho.

But today, Kai smacked Suho in the back with a notebook to wake him up.

“Wake up and take the ing notes.”

Suho glared at him and went back to sleep.

Kai got up and settled himself in the seat next to Suho, bringing all of his stuff with him. He proceeded to take the loudest notes in the history of notes.

Even Suho couldn’t sleep through the racket.

“Will you be quiet? I’m trying to sleep!”

“You’re in class. Take. The. ing. Notes.”

“No.”

“Take them.”

The second ‘no’ was on the tip of Suho’s tongue, but for some reason, he couldn’t say it. Kai glared at him and pointed at Suho’s unopened notebook.

“Notes. Now.”

And Suho, for some reason, found himself taking notes for the first time in the semester.

 

 

 

 

 

“What is this?” Kris picked up Suho’s chemistry notebook. “Are these…notes?”

“What? Oh. Yeah. Notes. Believe it or not.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Suho.”

“Believe me, I’m asking myself the same thing.”

“So…”

“So what?”

“I heard about the chemistry tutor.”

“So?”

“I heard he’s cute.”

“I guess…”

“What is he, like, hideously ugly?”

“No! I mean, he’s just really weird.”

“Yeah sure.”

“He’s weird!”

“Mhm.”

Suho smacked Kris with his binder, and they both laughed.

“There’s a party tonight, want to go?”

Suho was about to say yes before he remembered. It was Tuesday.

“I can’t. I have tutoring today.”

“Oh? Tutoring. Today. I see…”

Kris’s tone was a little more than suggestive.

Suho smacked Kris with his binder again.

“There is nothing ual about tutoring!”

“I don’t know how to tell you this, but with you, everything gets ual.”

“Shut up.”

“It’s the truth and you know it.”

Suho had to admit to himself that it was the truth.

 

 

 

 

By 4, Suho was sitting at a table in the corner of the library with all of his chemistry in front of him. Kai was late, and Suho didn’t like it when people were late.

At exactly five minutes past four, Kai walked calmly into the library and spotted Suho. He walked over, greeting the other cheerfully enough.

“You’re late.”

“Five minutes late.”

“But still late.”

“Are you going to over that the whole time or am I actually going to tutor you?”

Suho wanted to about everything, but he held his tongue. He needed the help.

Kai looked like he was trying not to laugh.

“Okay, what do you need help on?”

“EVERYTHING.”

“Well. Pick a topic then.”

Kai turned out to be a surprisingly patient tutor, willing to explain everything multiple times for Suho.

Suho decided that Kai was all right, even if he was a weirdo with a medical kit in his bag.

 

 

 

 

“You should’ve been at the party last night, it was actually amazing.”

“Whatever.” Suho rolled his eyes. All Kris could talk about was some kid he met named Tao. Tao this, Tao that, Tao everything. It had been going on for a couple hours now, and Suho was this close to punching Kris.

But Kris was kinda scary. So Suho decided it was safer just to listen to his fangirling.

 

Suho wasn’t really paying attention to Kris, he was looking over his chemistry notes, preparing for the quiz that day.

“What are you reading?”

“Huh?” Suho jumped. “Oh. Chem notes, we have a quiz today.”

Kris raised an eyebrow. “You’re studying? But you never study.”

Suho shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I…need to pass this class to graduate.”

“Is that the only reason?” Kris had that look in his eye. Suho did not like that look.

“Well yeah, why else would I be studying?”
“Oh no reason. Definitely not because of…Kai?”

“What does he have to do with it?”

“He’s cute, isn’t he?”

“Um.”

“Ohmygod. You think he’s cute!”

“So what if I do?!”

“You just admitted it!!”

Suho wanted to bang his head on his desk.

Kris smirked. “Anyway, there’s another party tonight. And you’re not missing this one, you have to meet Tao.”

Suho rolled his eyes.

 

 

 

 

“That wasn’t so bad.”

“Well, I spent three hours tutoring you yesterday, so it’s a relief that it ‘wasn’t so bad’.”

Suho laughed. They had just finished the chemistry quiz, and it might actually be the first quiz that Suho didn’t fail.

“Kai?”
“What?”

“Were you always in this class?”

“Yeah.”

“How come I didn’t see you before?”

“I usually just took the tests because I knew the information already.”

Suho decided not to question Kai’s chemistry ability.

 

 

 

 

“Suho, get your ready. We’re leaving in ten minutes.”

Suho groaned and rolled out of bed. He loved being lazy.

Kris was sitting on the couch, looking like he had stepped out of a magazine.

Suho raised an eyebrow.

“Dressing to impress?”

“Just get ready.”

 

Kris dragged Suho out of the door five minutes later, even though he said that they would be leaving in ten.

Suho didn’t resist that much because he knew he looked ing gorgeous anyway.

 

They met up with Lay and Xiumin on the way to the party. Lay shot Suho a look that plainly said, ‘TELL ME ABOUT THE TUTORING’. Suho smiled and nodded.

 

The party was already in full swing when they arrived, fashionably late. There was a live band, and Chen was singing, but no one was really watching them. Most people were dancing in the middle of the room, glittering with sweat.

Lay elbowed Suho and led him to a two-person table. Someone handed them drinks, and Suho took his, popping it open and taking a sip.

“So. How was the tutoring thing?”

“Not really that exciting.”

Lay pouted.

“Well, what happened?”

“Nothing, really. Kai just tutored me for a couple hours. I might have actually passed the quiz today because of that.”

“A couple hours?! And nothing happened? Who are you and what have you done with Suho.”

Suho laughed, feeling the effects of the alcohol starting to cloud his brain.

“Maybe I’ve changed.”

“I doubt it.”

“You’re right.”

Laughing, Suho pulled Lay onto the dance floor.

 

A couple of hours later, Suho had danced with too many people to count, and had made out with exactly seven.

Taeyeon had been the last one, and she hadn’t been a bad kisser. Suho was a little disappointed to see her go.

But not that disappointed.

 

The live band was still going, but Chen wasn’t singing anymore. Suho squinted, trying to make out the new person onstage.

He was average in height, around Suho’s size. His black hair shone under the lights, and his eyes were huge.

Cute.

 

Suho elbowed someone in the crowd next to him.

“Who’s the guy that’s singing?”

“Do Kyungsoo, the business major. And playboy.”

Suho smirked.

 

Kyungsoo wasn’t half bad at singing for a business major. Some of his high notes were a little shaky, but overall, pretty good.

Suho had had a couple more drinks, and was now totally intoxicated. He was still in control of his actions, though. Alcohol was something he had learned to control.

 

Someone bumped into his in the crowd. When Suho turned, he saw the huge eyes that had just been onstage.

“Oh, sorry. Excuse me.” Kyungsoo made a move to escape the crowd, but Suho put a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey. Dance with me.”

To Suho’s amusement, Kyungsoo flushed bright red, and agreed.

 

Suho didn’t know how much to drink Kyungsoo had, but it must have been a good bit, because within five minutes, they were kissing. Full on kissing.

Kyungsoo was a better kisser than Taeyeon. He was actually one of the best kissers in Suho’s experience. And Suho’s experience covered a lot of people.

 

Kyungsoo smiled against Suho’s mouth, and nipped his lower lip. Suho shivered in pleasure.

“Want to get out of here?” Kyungsoo’s voice was breathy. Hot.

Suho responded by pulling him forcefully through the crowd. They made it to a seat in the corner, Suho collapsing on it, pulling Kyungsoo on top of him.

 

Suho lost track of time, but the next thing he knew, Lay was shaking him awake. Suho sat up, disoriented, and felt the aftereffects of the alcohol in his head. He groaned, but got up. Kyungsoo was passed out next to him, murmuring in his sleep. Suho contemplated leaving him there, but on an impulse, picked him up.

Lay stared at him. “Who is that even?”

“Do Kyungsoo. This business major. And amazing kisser.”

Lay looked slightly miffed. “Better kisser than me?”

Suho paused. “I’ll get back to you on that.”

Lay smirked and turned to leave the party room. There were people lying everywhere, passed out from the alcohol. They stopped to collect Xiumin, but couldn’t find Kris in the room.

“He’s probably with Tao.”

Suho agreed with Lay.

 

Back in his and Kris’s room, Suho lay Kyungsoo down on his bed, and pulled the covers over him. Kyungsoo looked so young while sleeping, Suho had to stop himself from pinching his cheeks.

 

Lay and Xiumin were sprawled out on the couch, drinking fruit juice. Suho poured himself a cup and drank it slowly, willing the headache to go away.

“So you want to explain the kid passed out on your bed?” Xiumin looked like he was trying not to laugh.

Suho shrugged. “There’s nothing really to explain.”

Lay obviously didn’t believe him. “Then what was that about him being a good kisser?”

Xiumin snorted, almost spilling fruit juice over himself.

“He was a good kisser. And I didn’t want to just leave him there, he’s a business major. If he was caught, he could get in a ton of trouble.”

“That didn’t stop you from leaving people passed out on the floor before,” Lay pouted.

Suho shrugged again. “I just couldn’t leave him there.”

“You should probably wake him up so he doesn’t have a wicked hangover later,” Xiumin suggested.

Lay rolled his eyes. “It’s too late for that.”

 

But Suho agreed with Xiumin, so he took another cup of juice and went to wake Kyungsoo up. Kyungsoo was a heavy sleeper, and it took Suho a good ten minutes to wake him up.

“Kyungsoo! Wake up!”

Kyungsoo stirred faintly. Suho sighed.

“KYUNGSOO!!!”

Kyungsoo jerked awake, his eyes opening. He stared at Suho before collapsing back onto the bed.

“Drink this.”

Kyungsoo took the cup and looked at it, uncomprehending.

“It’s fruit juice. It’ll help with the hangover.”

Kyungsoo tossed it back in a swallow.

“Can you talk?”

Kyungsoo was silent.

“Okay then.”

Kyungsoo’s lips tugged upward in a smile.

“My voice sounds like when I’m hungover.”

Suho stared. “I can tell.”

“So…”

“What?”

“Last night…”

“What about it?”

Kyungsoo paused, looking a little confused. Suho waited for the other boy to speak.

“…nothing.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Suho thought he knew what Kyungsoo was going to say, but he dismissed it.

 

 

 

 

Suho saw Kyungsoo frequently after that party. They got together a couple times, but Suho held himself back. For some reason, he didn’t want to go to fast with Kyungsoo. He didn’t want to risk screwing it up.

 

Suho saw Kai a lot too. They had chemistry class Monday through Friday every week, but Kai didn’t come all the time. He didn’t really need to anyway.

But he made up for the time by tutoring Suho on Tuesdays. Suho looked forward to them. He could see the fun of learning when Kai praised his progress; he felt his chest constrict a little with pride.

Suho loved seeing Kai smile.

 

Lay was being a brat.

“Hyung, you never have time for me anymore! When was the last time we had a drink? Or did something fun? You don’t even talk to me when we go to parties together!”

Lay pouted.

Suho felt bad, but not bad enough to ditch Kyungsoo and Kai.

 

Meeting Kyungsoo at the parties was become a regular part of Suho’s schedule. He would arrive at the parties, have a couple drinks, dance a couple songs that Chen sang. After Chen left, Kyungsoo sang three songs, maybe four, and then he would be done.

He told Suho that he did it because he needed the money, but Suho didn’t care the reason as long as he heard Kyungsoo’s sweet voice.

And as long as Kyungsoo was with him at the parties.

 

 

 

 

Suho hadn’t hooked up with anyone in the last couple of weeks, since he met Kyungsoo. He went to the parties, but ignored everything around him until Kyungsoo was performing. He even ignored Lay, who pouted by himself in a corner.

He didn’t see Kris much; the elder was always with Tao, and Suho didn’t want to intrude. He had met Tao once, and hadn’t seen what Kris saw in him. But Kris seemed to really like him, so Suho didn’t say anything.

 

“Hey.” Suho looked up. It was Chanyeol.

“Chanyeol?”

“Yup.”

Chanyeol slid into the seat across from Suho, looking at him in a way that made Suho straighten up.

“What are you doing here? I thought you didn’t come to these parties.”

“I usually don’t.”

“Then what brings you here?”

Chanyeol hesitated for a second, before, “I heard you and Do Kyungsoo have a thing.”

“Um…so?”

“So. Kyungsoo has a reputation as a playboy but we went to high school together, and even though we weren’t super close, I know that he’s had a couple of bad relationships. And I mean bad. With both guys and girls, and he’s been cheated on at least four times. Maybe even five. He was a mess during high school, but he finally got his together and came here to major in business. But he needs help financially, and that’s why he’s doing the gigs at these parties.”

Chanyeol paused to take a breath.
“Chanyeol I don’t know why you’re telling me this or why you care, but–“

“Let me finish. I came here to tell you that Kyungsoo’s had enough ed up relationships to last a lifetime. Don’t screw him over.”

Suho stared at Chanyeol. “I won’t screw him over. I won’t.”

Chanyeol looked a little sad.

“That’s what you said about me, too, hyung.”

And with that, Chanyeol got up and walked away, leaving Suho staring after him.

Suho watched as a smaller boy with brown hair, probably another computer engineering major, took Chanyeol’s hand, standing on his toes to kiss him.

Suho turned his face. He couldn’t look.

 

Kyungsoo was singing, and Suho was watching. His voice was as beautiful as always, but there was something missing.

But when Kyungsoo came down from the stage and into Suho’s arms, Suho forgot everything, as usual. He lost himself in Kyungsoo, the feel of his body next to his own, the pressure of his lips on his, the way his hands his back.

 

And Suho asked him out awkwardly, and Kyungsoo accepted just as, if not more, awkwardly, and they decided to be awkward together.

Kyungsoo couldn’t stop smiling. Suho snuck looks at his face, not being able to get enough of his smile.

 

 

 

 

“Are you busy today?”

Kyungsoo wrapped his arms around Suho, getting his attention.

“Today? Yeah…I have chem tutoring. Midterms are tomorrow.”

Kyungsoo pouted.

“But don’t you know what today is?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then what is it?”

“Our six month anniversary!”

Kyungsoo kissed him square on the lips.

 

“Kai, I can’t do this.”

“Why?”

“We have a ing midterm tomorrow. How are you not dead from studying?”

Kai shrugged.

“It’s all review. Here, take this problem. I know it’s easy to confuse the molar masses, but it just takes practice.”

Suho watched as Kai wrote down the molar masses to each element from memory. He wanted to bang his head on the desk. Maybe that would help with memorizing.

“Suho. Calm down. You’ll be fine. I promise.”

“How can you promise that?”

“…okay fine I can’t. But you’ve really studied hard, and it’s going to pay off.”

Suho felt a smile tug at his lips.

“Okay. I believe you.”

Kai laughed and stood up, tugging on Suho’s arm.

“Come on. Let’s take a break.”

“A break? …who are you and what have you done with Kai?”

Kai laughed again, and Suho couldn’t help but appreciate how beautiful his laugh was.

 

Kai ended up taking Suho to the local café, waving away Suho’s offers to pay.

“I’ll treat you, but next time you have to treat me, okay hyung?”

Suho laughed and agreed.

 

While Kai was ordering their smoothies, Suho sat at a two-person table, waiting.

 

“Suho?”

Suho turned around, and he hadn’t really been expecting anyone specific, but he definitely hadn’t been expecting Luhan.

He was holding a half-finished bubble tea. Taro flavored.

Luhan’s favorite flavor,Suho remembered.

“You remember Sehun, right?” Luhan gestured to the taller boy next to him.

Sehun. So that was his name. Suho had never bothered to figure it out.

“Yeah. It’s nice to see you, Luhan. How are you?”

“Everything’s great! I heard you’re dating Do Kyungsoo, is that true?”

Suho thought he detected a hint of jealousy in Luhan’s sweet voice.

“Yeah, it’s true.”

“Congrats! How long has it been?”

“Six months.”

“Oh, really? Well, sorry I haven’t been in contact lately, we should get together and catch up sometime!”

That was the worst idea Suho had ever heard in his life, but he just said, “Hopefully we’ll be able to,” and smiled at him. Suho hoped that the smile looked more real that it felt.

“Suho hyung?” Kai was standing in front of the table, holding a kiwi smoothie and a strawberry smoothie. Suho saw him giving Luhan a once over.

“Kai! This is Luhan and Sehun. Luhan, Sehun, Kai.”

Kai set the drinks down on the table and shook Luhan’s outstretched hand, and then Sehun’s.

“Well we have to get going now. It was nice seeing you, Suho. Nice to meet you, Kai!” Luhan and Sehun exited the café.

Taking the seat across from Suho, Kai sipped his smoothie before asking, “Who was that?”

Suho nibbled on his straw.

“Luhan? My ex.”

Kai seemed to choke on his drink.

“That’s your ex?”

“Yup.”

“Tough.”

“I’m over it.”

Kai looked skeptical, but didn’t say anything. For a moment, it was awkward, but it soon passed, and Suho and Kai were talking as easily as they usually did.

 

Suho returned back the dorm that night to find Kris passed out on his bed, but he didn’t seem to be intoxicated. He set his backpack down next to his bed, and went to shake Kris awake.

“Kris? Kris!”

Kris scrunched his nose, like he always did when he didn’t want to wake up.

“Oh for the love of God, Kris, wake up.”

Kris got up.

After rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he staggered to the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face. Suho watched, waiting.

When Kris collapsed on the couch, Suho brought him a glass of water.

“So, what happened? You haven’t been back this early in a couple of months.”

“He was cheating on me.”

“What?”

“Tao. He was cheating on me.”

“What are you talking about? Tao would never cheat on you.”

Kris, for the first time in Suho’s memory, looked sad.

“But he did.”

Suho didn’t know what to say. Kris wasn’t someone who cried often, but when he did, all hell was breaking loose.

But Kris wasn’t crying now. He looked more…shattered.

“Did you guys break up?”

Kris looked at his hands.

“No. He cheated on me when he went back to Chinato visit his family. He met up with his ex-girlfriend and they had a couple of drinks.”

“Oh.”

Kris grimaced and gulped some water.

“He told you this?” Suho couldn’t believe that Tao would do such a thing.

“He told me because he said he felt guilty, and he wouldn’t blame me if I ended things. But he said that he hoped that I wouldn’t end things, but he would at least try to understand if I did. And he apologized. A lot.”

“Well, the apologies are good.”

Kris shrugged, unhitching himself from the couch. He slouched back to his bed, almost flinging himself onto it.

“Mmgointosleep.”

“Okay. Good night, Kris.”

“Should I break up with him?”

Suho turned to see Kris watching him, sadness and regret in his eyes. Suho reached to turn the lights off, and right before he did, he said, “No.”

He flicked the lights off, hiding Kris in the darkness.

 

Suho staggered into the testing room the next day, half awake and bleary eyed. In one hand was a black coffee, and in the other, a semester’s worth of notes. Kai was already there, looking calm and wide awake. Suho stared disbelievingly at him.

“How are you awake?”

“Because I got sleep last night.”

“How. Weren’t you studying?”

“I did a review of the topics this is covering.”

Suho hated smart people.

Kai laughed and looped his arm around Suho’s neck.

“Don’t worry hyung, we went over everything we need to know yesterday. You’ll be fine.”

“Easy for you to say.” Suho was grumbling, but he couldn’t stop smiling.

Unexpectedly, Kai leaned over and pecked Suho’s cheek.

“All right, good luck, hyung!”

The place Kai’s lips had touched Suho burned.

“Thanks, Kai. I would tell you good luck but you don’t really need it.”

Kai laughed and unwrapped his arm from Suho, going back to his seat. When he knew Kai wasn’t looking, Suho touched where Kai had kissed him, wondering what the strange feeling in the bottom of his stomach was.

 

After he was done with the midterm, Suho left the exam room as quickly as possible. He wanted to avoid Kai, and that weird feeling he felt when Kai kissed him. But before he was even ten steps out the door, Kai caught up with him and looped his arm around Suho.

“What did you think of it?”

Suho thought about not answering, but before he could say anything,

“Suho hyung?”

It was Kyungsoo.

. Oh .

“Hey, Kyungsoo!” Suho tried not to look guilty.

Kyungsoo eyed Kai’s arm around Suho. Suho shifted his shoulders a little so that Kai’s arm fell.

“Kyungsoo, this is Kai.  Kai, Kyungsoo.”

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

There was a quite a bit of tension from Kyungsoo to Kai, so Suho made a quick decision.

“Hey, Kai, I’ll see you later.” And with that, Suho took Kyungsoo’s arm and steered him in the opposite direction.

 

They were silent for a while before Kyungsoo finally opened his mouth.

“Who was that?”

“Kai? My chem tutor.”

“He’s cute.”

“You’re cuter.”

“Flattery isn’t going to work.”

“That’s what they all say.”

Kyungsoo stopped walking and glared at Suho.

“How many people have you said that to?”

“What are you–“

“You never talk about your past relationships, but everyone says that you go around making people think that you care about them before breaking their hearts. Is that what you really do, hyung? Am I not different?”

Suho stared at Kyungsoo. It was the first time Kyungsoo had really lost his temper toward Suho.

“Kyungsoo–“

“If you’re going to tell me about how I’m different, then shut the up. It was a mistake to trust you.”

Kyungsoo turned to walk away, but Suho ran after him and wrapped his arms around the younger, preventing him from getting further.

“Kyungsoo-ah, don’t go. Please don’t go.” His voice was muffled because his face was pressed into Kyungsoo’s neck, but he knew that the younger could understand him.

Kyungsoo sniffled, and Suho realized that he was crying.

“Hey, don’t cry. Look at me. Don’t cry.”

Kyungsoo was staring at the floor, and Suho was reminded of how young he really was.

“How do I know I can trust you?”

“I can do whatever it takes to convince you. I can do anything for you, Kyungsoo-ah.”

Kyungsoo still didn’t look at Suho. He pulled himself from Suho’s arms, wrapping his own arms around himself. Suho wanted to hug him, pull him close, but something told him that it wasn’t the best time.

“I…see you tomorrow, hyung.” With that, Kyungsoo turned and walked away from Suho, while the elder watched helplessly.

 

“Hey, Suho hyung?”

Suho turned to see Lay standing behind him.

“Hey.”

“Was that Kyungsoo leaving?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

Suho didn’t answer, but Lay didn’t press him. They stood there for a while, Suho looking to where Kyungsoo had left, Lay looking at Suho.

“Suho hyung?”

“Yeah?”

“Say something.”

Suho sighed.

“Let’s get something to eat, Suho hyung.”

“All right.”

Lay smiled and tugged on Suho arm, leading him toward the nearest café.

 

 

 

 

Suho went back to the dorm that night to find Kris aimlessly flipping through the TV channels while sprawled on the couch.

“Hey Kris.”

“Hey, how was your midterm?”

“Fine.”

Kris looked suspicious, but just asked, “Did you have dinner?”

“Yeah.”

At this, Kris sat up.

“Okay. What happened? And don’t say ‘nothing’ because it clearly isn’t.”

Suho sank into the couch next to Kris.

“Today’s Kyungsoo’s and my six month anniversary.”

Kris stared at him.

“Then what are you doing?! Spend some time with him!”

“I was going to, but after the midterm, Kyungsoo saw me with Kai.”

“So?”

“Kai had his arm around me.”

“Oh.”

Suho sat up.

“Is it true that people say that I make people think that I care about them before breaking their hearts?”

Kris just stared at him some more. Then, “Yeah pretty much.”

Suho sank back into the couch.

Kris looked over at Suho.

“I think we need a drink.”

“Just one?”

Kris laughed.

 

They ended up going to a part that night, but this time, neither were ‘dressed to impress’. Rather, they were both simply wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

It’s not like they were trying to impress anyone anyway. And Suho knew that Kyungsoo wasn’t singing today.

They were in a small table in a corner, throwing back beer like it was water. Suho knew in the back of his mind that this was an awful, awful idea, and they would both wake up the next morning with killer hangovers, but right now, he didn’t care.

He just wanted to forget.

“How could he cheat on me?! I was so good to him. It was the first time I didn’t cheat.”

“Same here, and this is what happens.”

“What did I do wrong?”

“Stupid Kai.”

“Why did he have to cheat on me?!”

“I hate Kai.”

They were pretty gone.

 

“Suho hyung?”

Suho heard someone call him through a haze of beer. He turned to see Kai looking at him.

“Oh. It’s you.”

Kai threw himself next to Suho, forcing the latter to scoot over.

“I’m drinking with a friend.”

“I’m sorry to tell you this, but your friend is passed out.”

Suho looked at Kris to see him sleeping, his mouth hanging open.

“Oh.”

 

Kai eventually convinced Suho to dance with him. Suho was drunk enough to not know exactly what was going on, just that a very pretty boy was asking him to dance, and Suho liked very pretty boys.

Besides, Kai was a pretty awesome dancer for a nerd.

After a couple minutes of grinding, Suho was all but ready to rip Kai’s clothes off of him. He pulled him off of the dance floor and into a small room connected to the main room. Suho knew that this was a bad idea, but he couldn’t control it.

He pushed Kai against the wall, breathing hard.

Kai was looking at him, his dark eyes unreadable.

“I thought you had a boyfriend.”

Suho closed his eyes. “I do.”

“Then why?”

Suho punched the wall next to Kai. Kai didn’t even flinch.

“Because.”

He put his hands on Kai’s shoulders.

“I.”

Kai lazily wrapped his left arm around Suho’s hips.

“Hate.”

Kai Suho’s belt with his right hand.

“You.”

Kai pulled Suho closer. And then closer still. The only part of their bodies that weren’t touching was their faces.

Kai laughed. “I’m a freshman, you know.”

“Then you shouldn’t drive me crazy.”

Kai laughed again. “But I do.” He was so close. Too close. It was driving Suho crazy.

Suho growled. “ you.”

Then he smashed his lips against Kai’s, feeling the younger open his mouth to him. Suho’s body burned at the nearness of Kai, feeling him, wanting him. Suho’s hands were working up under Kai’s shirt, feeling the soft skin over hard muscle. He heard Kai moan, felt it shudder through his lean, muscled body. Kai’s fingers were fumbling with Suho’s belt, willing it to open.

They fell on the bed that Suho didn’t even notice when he entered the room, but it’s comfortable enough and Kai was on top of him, so Suho didn’t mind. He felt Kai’s lips on his lips, his cheeks, neck, collarbones, and Suho shuddered, because Kai was good.

“Hyung?”

“Hm?”

“I hate you.”

Suho laughed, the sound low.

“I know. I hate you too.”

And Suho really does. But he hates himself more, especially when–

“Suho hyung?”

Oh . . .

It was Kyungsoo.

Suho groaned and hit his head on the side of the bed to try and clear it. Kyungsoo was standing in the doorway, his eyes wider than usual, with an expression on his face that Suho wished that he never had to see.

Betrayal.

Kyungsoo was crying, and Suho hated to see his Kyungsoo cry, but there was nothing he could do.

Stupid Kai screwing everything up.

Suho looked over to see Kai sprawled next to him on the bed, not quite sleeping but not quite awake.

“Kyungsoo–“
“I don’t want to hear it. you, Suho.”

Suho didn’t know what to say to that, so he stayed silent. Kyungsoo glared at him before walking out the door, slamming it behind him.

Kai opened his eyes. “Well.”

“You just ed everything up.”

“As I recall, you were just as into this as I was.”

Suho knew it was the truth, and he hated himself for it. Kai reached over and took Suho’s hand, and Suho hated himself more for craving the touch. Craving Kai.

“You hate me.” There was no emotion in Kai’s voice.

“I hate you.”

Kai was silent.

 

Suho somehow got off the bed and back into the main room. Kyungsoo was gone, but Kris was still passed out on the table, so Suho woke him up. They went back to the dorm and threw themselves on their beds, trying to forget everything.

They woke up the next morning with killer hangovers, as expected. The container of fruit juice was empty, due to their mass consumption of it.

“What happened last night?”

Suho’s head snapped up at Kris’s question.

“What are you talking about?”

“Just spill it.”

So Suho did. When he was done, Kris just stared at him.

“Wow.”

“Shut up.”

“That–you, my friend, are an . Like, a really big one.”

“I’ve been told that I’m tight, but I understand what you’re saying.”

Kris rolled his eyes but didn’t comment. Suho was about to and moan some more about Kai and Kyungsoo and how he hated Kai and loved Kyungsoo, but he couldn’t figure out why Kai turned him on so much, when Lay burst in their dorm.

Suho and Kris stared at him. Lay was out of breath, his cheeks flushed pink.

“Someone wants to talk to you, Kris.”

“What?”

“Just go talk to him.”

Kris shot Suho a look before he left, shutting the door behind him. Lay threw himself in Kris’s vacant chair, fanning his face.

“Why were you in such a rush?”

Lay stopped fanning his face. He opened his mouth as if he were going to say something, Suho couldn’t think through the hangover; he ignored Lay and went back to bed.

 

Kai wasn’t in chemistry class the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

Suho went to the library the next Tuesday at four, but Kai didn’t show up. Suho got the feeling that Kai was avoiding him.

“Well, no duh,” was the only thing Kris said. He didn’t even tell Suho who had wanted to talk to him that day. Suho got the feeling that Kris was hiding something.

 

Suho found it harder and harder to smile.

---

 

A/N: My HUNHAN fic is here

thanks for reading!! ◕‿◕

kpop-exotic.tumblr.com

kpop-exo-world.tumblr.com

 

(I didn't edit this lol so excuse any grammar mistakes XD)

part two will be up...in a week or so

or something

LOL sorry it's taking so long xD