The sun was crazy bright when you opened your eyes; it was nearly blinding. Remembering the perfect 1 year anniversary you had with your boyfriend last night spread a smile across your face. But where was he now? You turned in your bed, and he was gone. You had assumed he had just gone home to change and decided to take a nice shower. After brushing your teeth and changing into your comfortable clothes, you went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. You noticed a note on your fridge immediately. It was from Nichkhun.

Honey Boo.

Happy 1 year and 1 day! I hope you had a wonderful night last night. I sure did ♥Please remember I will always love you. I’m sorry. I have no choice but to leave you now. Please understand and don’t come looking for me. I just need you to know that where ever I am I will look after you, even If I’m not next to you. All those times we had together, it’s time for you to let go of them. I love you, but it’s time for us to separate, it’s time for you to forget my existence and move on with your life. Don’t come find me.

You dropped down, in tears; it was unbelievable for you to have the greatest day of your life one day and your heart crumpling into many pieces the next. You grabbed your phone and called him. As expected it went to voicemail immediately. You didn’t understand why he’d leave you all of a sudden. It made you angry to know that he left you right after taking your ity. He had promised to give you everything that he ever had and be by your side forever and ever. As memories of the past year played in your head, you ran outside in the streets. You ran in the direction of his house. Your brain was blank; it held nothing but the memories of the two of you together on the first date and your first kiss. You banged on his door, no one responded, you banged on it harder but no one ever opened the door. You completely broke down; you were unsure of what your life was meant anymore. The question, *Why is living necessary without you in my life?*

For the next few months, you moved back into your parent’s house. They were worried about your health because you refused to eat, or attend any of your university courses. All your friends began to keep a distance from you because whenever they tried to comfort you, you would yell at them for being who they are. When you finally had the courage to stand back up, you made new friends and lived life peacefully. Although deep down you were in pain, you hid it away from everyone that cared for you to lessen their worries. One early morning you were jogging and unexpectedly ended up in front of Nichkhun’s house. Not being able to control your actions, you knocked on the door, only to realize that it wasn’t locked.

You walked inside and found that it was neat and tidy just as your boyfriend had liked it. Wandering around, you found no traces of burglary and decided that it was better to check the bedrooms upstairs.  Deep down inside you knew that you wanted Nichkhun to be there, you wanted to be back in his arms where unconditional love was present between your hearts. You slowly walked up the stairs and reached his bedroom door. Your hands were beginning to sweat as you gripped the door handle, gradually you opened the door. There was no one there, just a diary sitting on the bed.

First day without my honey boo,

Letting go was hard. I heard her slam herself against my door. You don’t understand how much I wanted to run down stairs and hug her in my arms. I know she’ll understand, I can’t let her see me while doing treatment.

You dropped down on the bed, now understanding everything,

Flashback

Nichkhun was in the kitchen taking medication when you suddenly jumped out of nowhere and wrapped your arms around him.

“What are you eating Khun?”

“Oh just vitamins my doctor gave me.”

“Can I have some? I think I’m lacking Vitamin D” He pinched your cheeks and chuckled,

“Men only” He winked at you.

A few days later you and Nichkhun were on the couch watching Running Man, your favourite variety show when suddenly Nichkhun started screaming in pain.

“Honey Boo, go get my vitamins, I need them”

“What’s happening? Are you alright?”

A few days later you came home and found a yellow envelope that said Nichkhun’s report. You scanned through it and it said that Nichkhun had a tumor, but when you asked him about it, he just said it was a university assignment he had to do. Since he was in med school, you didn’t bother to ask him anymore questions.

End of Flashback

100^th day without Honey Boo

I’m a coward you know? After the reports of my tumor were certified as a non- cancerous tumor, I was filled with joy and happiness. But I just couldn’t take my courage out to find her. I can see that she’s not happy, but I don’t want to hurt her more by showing up in her life again. God help me

365 days without Honey Boo

She has new friends, and I am healthy. I follow her everyday to see how her life is. I can see that she has slowly forgotten about me. What can I do? Nothing

After reading the last page of his diary, you were already crying so hard. You couldn’t help but hate yourself for not understanding that he was saving you from the pain that he had to suffer through from all the test and treatments. As you looked around and there was no one around, you picked up his pen and wrote at the very end of diary

Khun, Happy 2 year anniversary! Missing you crazy Baby.

A pair of arms suddenly wrapped around you. Without turning your head, you knew exactly who it was. It didn’t take long before you realized it was impossible for a match made in heaven to be separated.

“I love you Honey Boo” And that’s how your happily ever after began.