For the next weeks, I always meet Junhyung on that sandy place with the glass wall after lunch. Good thing grandmother never locked the room with the wardrobe anymore which made me wonder why. I guess she forgets to lock it. Grandma seems to be forgetful as each day passed by. Nevertheless, I’m thankful she’s not locking it anymore for I’ll be able to talk to Junhyung again. And even though I get to talk to Junhyung for hours and hours, grandma and my cousins never doubt where I am going. For what seems to be taking hours in that place behind the wardrobe is just a matter of seconds on Earth. I noticed it after meeting Junhyung for the first time. I was hurrying to go back home but when I stepped out of the wardrobe Eunhae has just finished counting to ten.

 

After cleaning the dished on a sunny Saturday lunch, I readily went to meet Junhyung. He was there already leaning his back against the glass wall. I knocked on the wall to call his attention. He heard my call and smiled at me. I smiled back at him and just like we usually do, we had our non-ending conversation.

 

HEY, ____. REMEMBER I TOLD YOU I WRITE LYRICS? Junhyung asked.

YES. I replied. WHAT ABOUT IT?

WELL, I WROTE A SONG RECENTLY AND I WANT YOU TO HEAR ME RAP. He said. BUT SINCE WE CANNOT HEAR EACH OTHER, I’LL JUST LET YOU READ IT, OKAY?

I nodded. Junhyung took out a piece of paper folded like a plane from one of his pockets. He threw it over the glass and I caught it. I unfolded the paper and read the lyrics of the song he wrote.

 

I will rewrite it again our story will not end

I will bury the fact that reality is seeping through my skin for now

I will rewrite again the start

Beginning with you and I smiling happily

In case you will leave me

The background is a small room without an exit.

 

I’m the writer who lost his purpose

The end of this novel, how am I supposed to write it?

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you

I keep writing these three words.

Setting the worn out pen

On the old paper strained in tears

This story can’t be happy or sad.*

 

I clapped my hands and gave him thumbs up. IT WAS AWESOME! I exclaimed.

THANKS! Junhyung said blushing slightly and rubbing the back of his head. WAS IT REALLY GOOD?

I nodded in reply. NE. NO WONDER YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ALWAYS WIN IN THE SINGING COMPETITION. YOU HAVE GREAT COMPOSING SKILLS.

Junhyung thanked me again. BUT YOU’RE A GOOD WRITER TOO. STORIES THOUGH NOT LYRICS.

 

I was confused about what Junhyung has said. He showed me the back of the paper I gave him the first time we met and on the back of it was a paragraph of a fan fiction I was currently writing. I instantly blushed; embarrassed that he had read my lousy story. I argued with him that it’s nothing compared to the lyrics he wrote.

 

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Junhyung said. THE STORY IS REALLY GOOD! YOU SHOULD CONTINUE WRITING IT.

YOU THINK SO? I asked. Junhyung nodded and told me again how he loved the story. OKAY, I’LL THINK ABOUT IT.

AISH! DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. JUST DO IT. Junhyung said.

 

I smiled at him. BUT I REALLY LOVE THE LYRICS YOU WROTE. THEY SEEM TO BE FULL OF EMOTIONS. I said remembering the lyrics of the song he composed.

OF COURSE THEY ARE. Junhyung said and paused for a moment. ‘CAUSE IT’S WHAT I’M FEELING, he paused again. T-TOWARDS YOU RIGHT NOW. Junhyung finally said.

 

He was blushing and avoiding my gaze. He is just so cute when he is embarrassed.

I blushed as well. ‘Is this a confession?’ I thought. ‘If this is, I might confess as well.’

WELL, M-ME TOO. I timidly said to him which made him blushed even more. I WISH I CAN HEAR YOU SING IT FOR ME, THOUGH.

 

The smile on Junhyung’s face faded and there is now a longing expression on his face. He placed his hand on the glass wall. ____, IT’S COLD.

 

The smile on my face faded as well and I looked at him longingly. I placed my hand over his. DON’T WORRY, I AM WITH YOU.

 

Junhyung went closer to the glass wall and leaned his head on it. I did the same and I closed my eyes. When I opened them again, I saw Junhyung his lips on the glass where my forehead is leaned on. And even though a glass wall is separating us, I can feel his kiss on my forehead. Its warmth enveloping me. I closed my eyes again savoring every minute of it.

 

Both of us were blushing after it. We both gave each other a shy smile. However, even though we were smiling at each other, I know that deep inside there is still a longing feeling. There was a long moment of silence between us but Junhyung broke it.

 

I FORGOT TO TELL YOU, he said. WE ARE GOING TO COMPETE AGAIN IN A SINGING COMPETITION TOMORROW.

REALLY?  I asked. THEN WOULD THAT MEAN THAT I WON’T BE SEEING YOU TOMORROW?

NO. Junhyung said. YOU SHOULD COME TOMORROW AND CELEBRATE WITH ME AFTER WE WIN.

 

I laughed at Junhyung’s self-confidence. Nevertheless, I still wished him and his friends goodluck. Junhyung thanked me back and we went back to our endless conversation. When it was time for us to say goodbye he reminded me to see him again tomorrow.

 

SAME TIME! Junhyung said as he waved at me.

I nodded at him and waved back. I watched him leave before my eyes. I went closer to the glass wall to knock and call him back to say how much I love him before he can finally go, but I hesitated. I just continued to watch him disappeared in the horizon with sadness and desire in my heart.

 

“Junhyung-ah.” I said out loud after a long time of not talking. “I love you.”

 

The next day was a rainy Sunday, something I wasn’t expecting since yesterday was sunny and warm. After rinsing the last plate I washed after having lunch on that wet Sunday afternoon, I readily went to meet Junhyung. Clenching my trusty sketchpad I entered the wardrobe and went to our meeting place. When I arrived at the desert-like place with glass border, Junhyung wasn’t there yet which is unusual.

 

‘He must be still in the singing competition,’I thought.

 

Sitting down on the sandy floor, I waited for Junhyung to arrive. To avoid boredom and to kill off time, I started doodling in my sketchpad. I looked every now and then at the other side of the wall to see any signs of Junhyung coming but not even his shadow can be seen. I sighed and turned the page of my sketchpad to start drawing again when I saw the continuation of the fan fiction I was writing. I remembered what Junhyung said to me about continuing to write it. I smiled and decided to keep on writing it. I made myself comfortable on the floor by leaning my back on the wall and started writing when I felt and heard a knock. I smiled and immediately stood up to face Junhyung but was disappointed to see that it wasn’t him.

 

Instead of Junhyung a snobbish looking guy with orange hair stood before me. He wrote something on a piece of paper and when he was done he let me read it.

 

ARE YOU ____? He asked.

I nodded in reply. WHY? WHO ARE YOU? I flooded the guy with questions.

 

 Before answering me, he threw over the wall a familiar notebook. I looked at it after I caught it and saw that it was the notebook Junhyung uses whenever he talks to me.

I AM HYUNSEUNG, A FRIEND OF JUNHYUNG. The orange haired guy told me. HE TOLD ME TO GIVE THAT TO YOU.

 

I looked at the notebook and back to Hyunseung. I wondered why Junhyung didn’t give it to me personally. I started getting nervous and a lot of bad ideas flooded my minded. I shrugged them off and to relieve me of my worries, I decided to just ask Hyunseung.

 

WHY DIDN’T HE GIVE IT TO ME HIMSELF? I asked. WHERE IS HE?

 

 Junhyung’s friend looked away from me and he heaved a deep sigh. It took him a long time to reply which made me more nervous. Hyunseung started writing his explanation while I prayed and crossed my fingers hoping that nothing bad happened to Junhyung. But my prayers weren’t answered after I read the very first line of Hyunseung’s reply.

 

I’M SORRY TO SAY THIS ____-SSI. Hyunseung wrote. JUNHYUNG, HE’S GONE.

 

I feel the Earth’s weight on my shoulders and my heart crush into pieces. Tears start to well up in my eyes as I read more of Hyunseung’s answer.

 

HE DIED IN A RIOT. THE GROUP WE COMPETED WITH DIDN’T ACCEPT THEIR DEFEAT AND STARTED A RUCKUS WITH THE JUDGES SAYING THEY ARE BEING BIAS SINCE WE HAVE WON THE COMPETITION THREE YEARS INA ROW. JUNHYUNG TRIED TO STOP THEM AND ASKED THEM TO BE A GOOD SPORT, BUT THE GROUP’S LEADER STARTED HITTING HIM. WE TRIED TO STOP THEIR FIGHT BUT THE OTHER MEMBERS STARTED HITTING AS WELL. WHEN THE POLICE CAME THE COMMOTION STOPPED. WE LOOKED FOR JUNHYUNG WHO WAS MISSING. AND WE FOUND HIM ON THE FLOOR HIS HEAD COVERED IN HIS OWN BLOOD. HE WAS STILL ALIVE THEN AND THAT’S WHEN HE ASKED ME TO GIVE THAT NOTEBOOK TO YOU. WE RUSHED HIM TO THE HOSPITAL UNFORTUNATELY HE DIED THE MOMENT WE ARRIVED THERE.

 

I cried buckets of tears and fell on my knees as I finished reading Hyunseung’s reply. I looked at the notebook he gave me and touched it affectionately. I read our previous conversation leaving each page stained with my tears. I turned the notebook to its last page and read something I haven’t seen before.

 

I met ___ again today. Ah, just seeing her makes me feel good and make me forget about my problems.

I told her today that I like her and she said that she likes me back. But I wonder if she likes me only as a friend. I wanted to tell ___ that I like her, no. I love her more than as a friend but I’m afraid she might not accept my feelings. Oh, ___. If you only know how this heart of mine beat fast just by your mere presence. It beats so fast I’m afraid it might explode any moment I laid my eyes on you. If you only know... how much I love you.

 

Reading it made me cry more. I hugged Junhyung’s notebook tightly to my chest as I cried endlessly.

‘If I only know how much you love me,’I thought with my tears falling from my eyes and disappearing on to the sandy floor. ‘I should have not hesitated then and told you how much I love you as well.’

 

~~~~

 

A single tear fell from my eyes as I remembered my love story with Junhyung. I caressed the tear-stained draft of my award-winning story and smiled.

 

“To others, our story is a mere creation of my imagination, a pure work of fiction. But in my heart it will always remain as a fact. And I will never get tired of retelling and writing the story of us that will never,” you whispered as you hugged your story tightly to your chest. “Ever end in my heart.”