After that day, I went to talk to Kim Mi again. I wanted to tell her about my decision; the firm decision that I have made that may change my life forever.

“Since I can’t…you know…. I was thinking of l-leaving-..”

“Noooo. How can you even think about that! Kyu loves you! I mean, judging from what I saw at the hospital, and what you told me, both of you are not just in this arranged marriage for your parents or the company. I can see that he really loves you a lot! He rushed back immediately and when he arrived at the hospital, he was franticly searching for you until he saw me sitting outside your ward. Rae, listen to me. Tell him the truth-..”

I interrupted Kim Mi after she interrupted me in the beginning. “I don’t know how to face him after everything that has happened. I practically ruined my marriage, Kim Mi! You know how much I love children and want to have children of my own. I lost my first child and now, I can’t even…” I couldn’t continue, the tears were rolling down my cheek endlessly.

My heart was aching in pain, how was I supposed to stay in this marriage like this? How would Kyu react now since he actually likes children? That I, his wife, have lost his first child? How would his parents think of me? What will happen to the two companies? I couldn’t even continue thinking about it.

Kim Mi hugged me closed to her. “Shhh, Rae. Everything will be fine. Don’t worry.”

“Noooo, I’ve decided. I-I’m going to leave him. That’s the best way out. He likes children, I can’t give him one. He should find someone else; anyway, this was an arranged marriage after all.” I choked as my tears continued to stream down my face.

“How can you say such things, Rae? What happened to all that things you told me when you said you started to like him? Rae! Think about it, if you really love him, just tell him!” Kim Mi said.

I shook my head. “Kim Mi, I’ve decided. You will support me right? I can always count on you right?” I pleaded with her with my ruined face.

She saw my face and her face twitched as it scrunched up, she bit her lip and I knew she couldn’t stand seeing me so pitiful that she slowly nodded her head. “Alright, you can stay with me if you want. I want you to be safe.” She said, with a small smile at the end.

“Thanks.” I mouthed.

“How are you going to leave him?” She asked next.

I have no idea because this was my problem, how was I going to kick a fuss and quarrel with him and leave?

“I’ll make up something.” I said softly.

“You think he’ll believe you?” Kim Mi asked.

“You know, speaking of all these, I only know Kyu for less than a year. We were thrown into this so suddenly so actually if you look at it in a couple sort of way, we don’t even know so much about each other!” I said, realizing it as I spoke.

“Now that I’m actually saying this to you, I realized how little I actually know about Kyu. I know his education background, his favourite colours are white, black and blue, his hobbies are reading with a cup of coffee by his side, he loves architecture, especially interior designing which is why his room is so nice and that’s basically everything I know about him.” I confessed.

“That’s understandable, I mean you guys barely knew each other when you were going to get married but how did you guys become so close physically?” Kim Mi asked.

I thought back all the way from our first gathering to our wedding preparation days to the wedding to the honeymoon and to now. How did we end up here? I might not know all his being but I know I love him. Maybe much more than he loves me.

And I know that if I really love him, I got to let him go.

That’s the only way.

I went back later that day and Kyu was starting to find something wrong. I walked into the master bedroom after my bath, towel-drying my hair as I sat by my dressing table, looking at Kyu’s reflection through the mirror.

“Rae? Can I talk to you about something?” He started.

“What?” I said as I looked at his reflection as he stared at me.

‘I know the accident was a bad experience and I didn’t really had time for you before that but now that I have time for you, you’re spending more time with Kim Mi than me and I don’t like that.” Kyu said.

So adorable, he was actually jealous! But now wasn’t the time for me to get emotional.

“If there’s anything, you can tell me alright? I’ll be here for you.” Kyu continued.

I was melting on the inside, what did I ever do to have such a caring husband? Okay, Rae! Stop thinking about that, you can’t show your happiness.

“Kyu, I’m tired. I’m sorry.” I said as I got off the dressing stool, threw my towel into the basket, got into bed and turned away from Kyu as I switched off my side of the night lamp.

I could feel Kyu staring at my back. He must be thinking why the sudden change I was giving to him.

A tear rolled down from my eye as I closed my eyes, I couldn’t bear to lie to Kyu but losing our child and now I can’t even conceive, that’s too much to bear.

Now I feel that my arranged marriage is worse than Shin Ri’s. Even though that couple hardly communicate, she and brother-in-law were both healthy enough to conceive. Speaking of family, I have not told any of our family members because firstly they are all overseas and secondly they will make it into a very big deal which I do not want to get involved.

I got to leave Kyu.

Cho Kyuhyun’s POV

I seriously think after the accident, Rae has changed drastically. Her attitude towards me is different, like when I scoot over to sit near her, she would look at me before getting up and walking away. Or when I want to hug her, she would push my hand away uncomfortably.

Did I do anything wrong?

Was she angry with me because I didn’t spend enough time with her before the accident? She wasn’t a petty person; I know that, she understands my work.

But why was she behaving like this?

Even though I know her for less than a year but I feel that I have already known her all my life. Not caring about her favourite stuff but just by being with her, you understand what I mean?!

I was thankful that I got married to her and not some other daughter from some other company.

She was so different from the regular ladies that I’ve met, she was elegant with a sense of humor, sophisticated yet silly if she wants to, she is the only rich girl that I know who will eat from a street stall vendor and bargain in a night market.

But now, I have no idea what is going through her mind, she must be hiding something from me, unless she actually does not feel the same way as me and now she was trying to reject me?

That’s impossible; she said she loved me so why would she want to do that?

Park Shin Rae’s POV

I started to make things worse for the next couple of days, I was drastically making Kyu annoyed at me, and I was rude to him too.

I started to pack my bags, getting ready to perform my act later to leave the house successfully.

I heard the door opened and Kyu came in, “Where are you going, Rae?”

He has been so patient with me, I felt so bad for lying to him but I had no other choice.

“I need to have some personal space for a while; I think it will be good for the both of us.” I said as Kyu’s eyes widen.

“Rae, I have no idea what’s going through your mind, after the accident, you have changed! You’re no longer like the Rae I knew before!” He said, raising his voice a little.

“Since when do you know anything about me? Except your work?” I said, trying to create a conflict.

“Rae, you know my work is equally important, I’m no ordinary son because I’m the son of the CEO of my dad’s company. I have many responsibilities and you’re one of them too.” He said, defending himself.

“I don’t want to hear anymore, I need my personal space before I go crazy. I’m leaving.” I said harshly as I made my way to the door.

Kyu grabbed my arm firmly. “Where are you going, Rae. What’s going on! I was so worried when you were in the hospital, now stop throwing a tantrum, come on!” Kyu replied.

“Me? Throwing a tantrum? Is that what I’m capable of? Cho Kyuhyun!” I shouted, determined to make Kyu angry with me as well.

I rather he be angry to me than to treat me so nice, I won’t be able to take it.

Kyu took a deep breath and sighed as he grabbed my hand, I wanted to pull away but he held it tightly. “Rae, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you, come let’s talk this nicely.”

But I had no time to spare. “Sorry, it’s not your problem, it’s mine. So please let me go.” I said as I yanked my arm off his grip and left the house with a bang.

I cried all the way to Kim Mi’s house.

Kyu has no idea what’s going on and I just hurt him like that. Short term pain is better than long term pain. He’ll get over it. I repeated that to myself so many times. But my heart was aching so badly like I want to just rip it out of my chest, it was pounding so hard against my ribs.

If I love Kyu, I would want him to be happy and if I want Kyu to be happy, I got to let him find someone else who can make him happy and give him a complete family because I can’t.

I’m well aware of what I’ve became. And I will not be able to give him that complete family that he seemingly wants right now. My phone kept on ringing as I looked at the caller, “Handsome Husband is calling.” I let the phone ring; I couldn’t pick up the call no matter how much I want to.

Kim Mi was already preparing my bedroom when I arrived; she welcomed me with a tight hug, comforting me.

I dropped all my stuff and embraced her, crying my lungs out as she patted my back.

She made me a glass of warm milk and tugged me into bed. “Kim Mi, I’m fine. I can do this by myself.” I told her.

“You’re my best friend and now you’re my guest, see you in the morning.” She said as she switched off the light and left the guest room.

I cried myself to sleep that time, without Kyu’s warm hands around my waist and his nose snuggling up at my shoulder and his lips kissing my cheek, I had such a hard time falling asleep that time.

Kim Mi’s POV

Just now, Rae dropped everything on the floor; I better pick that stuff up and arranged them properly.

Hmm, her bag has quite a few stuff in them, wait a minute, was this the medical report from the clinic she went to? Let me take a look.

This isn’t Rae’s family clinic? Never heard this clinic’s name before. The address is at……Oh! It’s near Rae’s place. Hmmm, maybe I should check it out tomorrow or something.

Rae is super healthy, how could she be in such a situation? I don’t believe it all. I have a very bad feeling about this clinic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, when I went out to buy some lunch for the both of us, I quickly made my way to the clinic that Rae went to for her check-up.

I stood in front of the entrance and looked in, there were quite a few persons standing and sitting on the inside but they all seemed to be very sad and depressed. One lady walked out and I approached her.

“Hey Miss, why is everybody inside this clinic so sad?” I asked.

“All thanks to this clinic, I just found out I’ve got cancer!” She said as she burst into tears and walked away holding a similar medical report to the one Rae have.

I observed the conversations in the clinic, it seemed like everybody has gotten an illness after going for the check-up. Hmmm, something isn’t right; surely, there must be at least one person inside there who is healthy.

I know. I’ve got an idea. I just went for full body check-up just two weeks ago at the hospital because of my upcoming ballet performance, so nothing is wrong with me.

I shall go in for the free check-up that they are promoting, if there’s something wrong with me, that means there’s something wrong with the clinic.

True enough, the so called doctor who looks really young told me that I had a rare disease and in order for it to be cured, I need to purchase a medicine and come for regular sessions.

I just smiled meekly to the doctor and left the clinic as soon as possible.

There’s something fishy about this clinic.

Which means, Rae should be able to conceive! The clinic might be a fake.

I need to tell Kyu about this.

Cho Kyuhyun’s POV

“Wait…what?” I asked Kim Mi.

“I’m asking if you love children.” She replied.

“Yes, I do. Did Rae ask you to ask me this question? Is Rae at your place? Please tell me she’s at your place or else I have no idea where else to go look for her. I’m so worried. She won’t take my calls or reply my messages. I have no idea what’s going on.” I told Kim Mi.

“No wonder she left. You actually liked children. What happens if I told you Rae can’t conceive?” She suddenly asked me.

I absorbed what she just said.

“What happens if I told you Rae can’t conceive?”

My eyes widened. I stood up immediately.

No.  NO. Rae can’t conceive? Was that the reason why she left me? And I showed her the picture of that little girl that particular girl. She must have been so hurt. I caused her to leave me. She left me because she thought I wanted children and she couldn’t give birth?

“Was this the reason why she left me?” I asked Kim Mi.

She nodded.

I fell back on the chair. “Why didn’t she tell me? I could share her burden! She was keeping this all to herself! When did she find out about this? Did she cry? How’s she taking it? She must have felt really down. She loves children, I know she does.” I said bitterly.

I admit I was a bit angry but I couldn’t be as upset as Rae, she literally adores children. How could she take this?

“She went for a medical check-up at this clinic and they told her she couldn’t conceive. I thought something was amiss as why would they open a clinic in that area so I went to check it out the other day. Most people in the clinic were diagnosed with illnesses like cancer or for those ladies, rare diseases or unable to conceive. I thought it was weird that no one was proven to be in the complete pink of health. I went for a full body check-up just two weeks back at the hospital so I was sure of what’s happening in my body. And I went in for the free body check-up. They said I had a rare disease and I needed to purchase some stuff and go back for sessions.” Kim Mi explained.

I thought for a while, listening to Kim Mi. And then it clicked.

“So that means the clinic is fake?” I said.

“That was what I wanted to tell you. The clinic is fake, Rae’s so called medical report is rubbish, and I don’t think what the doctor said is true so that means she is healthy and she can conceive!” Kim Mi continued.

“That was a relief! But Rae doesn’t know about this right?” I said to Kim Mi, immediately calming down, thinking it was real.

She shook her head.

Rae must have felt really bad and upset. But she shouldn’t have left, she should have told me. That silly girl.

“What are you going to do now since you know about this?” Kim Mi asked me.

“I’m going to double check on that clinic then I’ll go and find Rae. I need to.” I said as I rushed off to her house.

By the time I was back at the office, my butler had send a document to me about the clinic, true enough, it was an illegal clinic without a certificate! I called the police immediately with the evidence and reported this case to them.

By evening, I was at the lobby of Kim Mi’s apartment building. Kim Mi said she would arrange Rae to come down to do something so that I could see her.

A few minutes later, I saw Rae holding an envelope walking out of the lift. Kim Mi must have asked her to drop a letter at the mailbox. She looked so frail, so pale, she lost so much weight.

I got up and walked towards her.

She looked up and immediately her lips curled into a smile before frowning. “What are you doing here?” She asked harshly.

“Rae.” I called her name. Seeing her standing in front of me made me realized how much I actually missed her. There was no one I could kissed, no one to hug when I go to bed, no one to share my problems with. I miss her so much.

She didn’t look at me. She continued to hold the letter in her hand; her fingers playing with the corners.

“Did I marry you so that you could give birth for my family? No. Firstly, it was the arranged marriage that brought us together. But before the wedding, I started to like you; slowly I was falling in love with you, Rae! I could have easily called off the wedding but I didn’t because I knew there was something special, something different in you that made me want to be with you even though this might be an arranged marriage but things could change! I love you Rae!” I said.

Her eyes widened as she heard me. She blinked in shock.

“W-what are you talking about?” She stuttered.

“Rae, you know what I’m talking about. How could you not tell me about your medical report! If that is the thing that is bothering you, I mean, technology is so advanced nowadays, we can always adopt! Rae, do you understand what I mean? I married you because I love you and want to be with you. And what happened to being honest about everything? Remember, we wrote that in our rules thing!” I continued.

“Kim Mi told you! How could she! B-but, they won’t be our real children! I already said it’s not your problem, it’s mine! And speaking of being honest, alright, I shall be honest. Remember the day I asked you to come home early? Because I had something important to tell you?” She said in tears.

I nodded, brushing her tears away with my thumb but she pushed my hand away.

“I wanted to tell you that I was PREGNANT! B-but you were stressed with work that day, so I didn’t say. Until I got into the car accident. I-I lost our baby, Kyu! I had a miscarriage that’s why I can’t conceive now!!” She confessed as her hand covered her face.

My heart stopped. A miscarriage. Rae was pregnant? She was carrying our child? I was going to be a father.  How could she just keep that a secret! I couldn’t believe what I just heard.

“How could you keep that away from me?!” I shouted.

And the minute I did, I knew I shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t know what to say. Rae’s face was so painful to watch.

I just turned around and walked away. 

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Wheeeeeeeeeee. Hey readers! *waves*

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