It wasn't the way it was supposed to happen.

I was supposed to be the one sitting home, making a mess with my cleaning and unable to sit still for more than a minute. I should have been waiting for him to come home.

It'd been a few months since we'd seen each other face-to-face. Even if we didn't technically live together, there weren't many nights that we spent apart when Maya wasn't on tour or taking promotional trips; when he returned from one of those tours or brief promotional trips we would always negotiate where to meet -- his place or mine. It didn't matter which as long as I was the first person to properly greet him. It was a sentiment that the both of us bent over backwards to achieve.

But this time, for the first time, things hadn't gone according to plan.

My eyes were glue to the tiny digital clock on the bottom right corner of the computer screen. They stung, my eyes, but I still couldn't be bothered to blink. When was the last time I'd actually looked at my work? What was I even supposed to be working on?

It didn't matter. All that mattered was that there were only forty seven minutes until I was out of there and home free. Home free to go home and welcome Maya home after he welcomed me home.

My lips were weighed down in a scowl, but still my stare didn't leave the time-telling numbers. The whole situation was infuriatingly topsy-turvy. Maya had returned from a two-month long portion of a national tour that day, and I was stuck in work, having used up all of my vacation time. As if just knowing what I was missing out on wasn't enough, Maya had sent me a text just after I had settled back down from my lunch break. He'd said he was already in my apartment, burrowed in my bed and waiting for me to join him.

How was I supposed to keep my mind on my work when I had that image in my head?

The only reason I hadn't decided to just quit my job on the spot and jet over was because Maya had sent another text some time after the first saying that he owed me a new chair. He hadn't given details, and I'd assumed he'd gotten bored in bed and begun climbing around on the furniture in a way that it wasn't meant to be climbed on. I wasn't bothered too much by it, but I figured it might be best to give him the time to clean up the evidence so that it wouldn't distract me when we finally did reunite.

Whenever that was.

Well, it was in forty seven minutes. Wait -- forty six.

"Noa, just go home."

I startled, looking away from the clock on my computer for the first time in what felt like days to gape up at my boss. His expression wasn't exactly sympathetic, but I hoped that the tiny twinkles in his eyes weren't just my imagination.

My boss let out a sigh, moving his gaze from me to my computer screen and back again. "You're honestly costing the company money by being here. You're not doing anything productive and if you go home we could at least shut off the power in here to save some electricity."

I wasn't sure when I started grinning, but some time after that unknown point I was on my feet, purse in hand.

"Thank you so much," I said in a hurry, grabbing a few things from my desk and stuffing them into my bag. "Really, this is so great of you. I'll work overtime all next week, I swear."

"Without over time pay, of course," the man reminded me.

"Of course." I scanned my office once perfunctorily before turning for the door. My gait was something between a hop and a jog as I made for the exit, only putting conscious thought into dipping my head towards my boss on the way out. The one-track mind syndrome had become uncontrollable, and I was finally on the track to getting to that one thing on my mind.

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The paint on my walls could have been peeling; the couch could have been on fire; the floor could have been littered with glass; he could have shredded my pillows and torn up all of my clothes. My apartment could have been falling apart around me, but seeing Maya in the middle of it would have made it all worth it.

(But if Maya had done any of the above things I would have murdered him as soon as I was done being a nauseating romantic, and that was probably why he knew better than to cause such trouble in the first place. He really was more of a child than a thirty-two-year-old man.)

Maya was un-groomed, his eyes and skin free of makeup, his hair lying flat on his head and falling down over his shoulders. His clothes were plain cotton pajamas, and there was no candy of any sort in his hands or mouth. When he smiled at me he showed no teeth, his one-of-a-kind lips climbing up his face at a sluggish, earnest pace. I didn't smile with my mouth, but I was sure I was glowing.

Neither of us made a move.

"I broke your chair," was what Maya said first, even though I already knew. "The kitchen one. The back legs snapped off when I leaned back on it."

"You eat too much sugar," I told him, standing at the threshold of the dining area and lfamily room. Maya was sprawled out on the couch, the TV playing something straight ahead of him. "You're too tall, and getting too fat."

Maya pouted and lifted up his shirt, as if to check on his girth. He poked at his barely-there stomach before splaying his palm over the whole thing. He looked up at me after that.

"I'm hungry," he announced, causing me to snort. "I want my hunny to make me some food. I miss my hunny's food when I'm away. My hunny makes the best food."

I snorted again. "You only miss my food? We haven't seen each other in seven weeks, and the only thing you want from me is food?"

Maya may have intended to answer, but I didn't give him the chance. I let my bag drop to the floor by my shoes, pulled my jacket off to add it to the pile, and stalked forward until I came to the couch. I waited a beat, hovering, before lowering myself onto his lap, being mindful of my weight. Maya's arms were around my middle before I could wind mine around his neck, and I pressed my face into his hair, urging his nose into my collar.

"Too bad," I whispered, nuzzling closer. He must have taken a shower while I was working, since his hair smelt like my coconut shampoo. "You'll have to wait until I've have my fill before you get any food."

Maya was still below me, at least for a minute. I'd just begun to really indulge myself in the moment when, with an unexpected burst of energy, Maya flipped the two of us over, laying me back on the couch. He was a little less graceful in following since he needed to pull himself up and maneuver his limbs, but he did eventually lunge forward onto me, pushing his rotund lips onto any and every patch of skin he could find. Like a , I squealed and giggled appropriately.

Maya's kisses progressively slowed until they stopped all together and he let all of himself fall onto me with a content sounding exhale. My body relaxed into mush, allowing him to settle against me as closely as possible. All noises and movement ceased until there was just the two of us.

The sound of the TV hummed in the background, but I paid it no attention. I brought my hand up to the back of Maya's head, where I massaged his scalp with my fingertips.

"You're making it hard for me to breathe," I said softly, my chin moving against his temple.

"Good," he responded, speaking into my chest. "I've filled you up with my love, then."

"You've filled up your own stomach so many times that I can't fill up my lungs when you're laying on me like this," I shot back without an ounce of sincerity, poking him in the side with my free hand. Maya called my bluff and caught my palm, bringing it to his mouth and holding it there. That quieted our faux argument.

The silence between us was nice, but a little unnatural. Maya'd been gone for so long, and, despite chatting over the phone and computer as often as possible, I still felt like we had missed out on so much together. The distance helped our relationship to grow in some ways, but there was still nothing like being together physically. That was when it was all real and right in front of me, and when I really did know with everything in me that there was nothing missing.

"Were you a good boy?" I asked after some more time had passed, rubbing of Maya's head again. "Did you cause any trouble? Did you bug the rest of the staff too much?" Maya nodded his head instantly and fervently, and I sighed. "Well, that's my boy, I guess."

Maya kissed my fingers once before letting them go. The hand that had been holding mine found the hem of my blouse and slipped under it, sliding up my side until it was extended and resting against nearly all of the length of my torso. He craned his neck up after that, putting his lips to my ear.

"I really am hungry," he told me in a hush, as if saying something more sensual. His thumb circled around my navel. "Make me food, please?"

I huffed, brushing his touch away from my middle and shifting under him.

"So rude," I muttered while ushering him off me so that I could rise. "I'm trying to have a moment with you, and the only thing you're thinking about is food."

"You don't need to have a moment with me," Maya said, sprawling himself across the couch once I had risen to my feet and begun adjusting my clothing. "You have the rest of you're life with me. Food's the only thing I need for the moment."

My lips pursed, and I finished fixing myself in order to look at him. Maya was watching me, not trying to be cute in the least. He was saying what he felt and had no shame or ulterior motives about it, the same way he had no shame or ulterior motives about being his colorful, needy, slightly bizarre self with me.

"Fine," I said after a pause. "I'll cook for you, but no desert."

"No desert? Not anything?"

"No literal, edible desert, I mean."

Maya appeared perfectly content with that.

Maybe our romance had reached a certain plateau that all reached, or maybe it was just unique in itself, as strange as its players. I didn't need to latch onto Maya whenever we met after spending stretches of time apart, and I didn't need him to be extra affectionate to make up for that lost time. There was something unspoken between us, something that I just felt in my soul. I survive just fine when he wasn't by my side, but it was when he was by my side that nothing else mattered. The world didn't make any more sense with him than it did without him, but I didn't just didn't care about how much sense anything made when he was with me. I was suddenly so secure and present when Maya was around, like I was at home in my own body and life for the first time.

I just wasn't me without him. Not completely.