“Finally decide to turn up now eh? What took you so long?”

“Mianhae  chinggu. Got caught in traffic. There’s a pretty wicked accident on the way. Poor car completely turned turtle. The accident missed me by a minute or two I guess. Even the tires are still rolling. People are panicking left and right, stopping their cars causing the traffic. Lucky I was able to force my way through. I don’t know what’s to be of the driver though. Poor man. Probably won’t last long I guess. Seeing the car’s condition and all.”

“Are you serious? Did you see the driver?”

“Nope. Just a glimpse of the car when I drove passed it. Heard the siren somewhere, so the police and paramedic should probably be there already by now. The white car probably can’t be salvaged anymore after the firemen were done with it I guess. Such a waste too since it was a nice car. An SUV to be exact. Probably an Audi at that too.” The guy tsked.

‘Audi SUV. White. Firemen. Turned turtle. Poor man. Won’t last long….’

Bits and pieces of the two men’s conversation keep replaying in the head of the dumbstrucked leader like a broken record. When the words finally sunk down on him, his world crashed. Literally.

*****

“Hyung. Are you sleeping already?”

“Anniyo. What’s up?”

The former hesitated for a second. “Hyung, we don’t have recording tomorrow night right? Can we– can we all have a dinner together tomorrow hyung? We all– as in the thir-t-ten of us?” He finally stuttered it out.

The latter’s eyebrow raised, completely befuddled by the question –no.not the question- the request, that falteringly came forth from the group’s anchovy.

“Waeyo hyukjae-ah? What’s the occasion?”

“Anni….anniyo. Just feel like eating with the guys. Everyone’s busy, we hardly ever have the time to see each other nowadays….” He trailed off, with gradually heated up face, which didn’t go unnoticed by the leader, even in the dark space of the van that carried them home from Sukira that night.

“Hyung don’t know Hyukjae-ah. Like you said, everyone’s busy with their individual schedules these days. Us being free from recording tomorrow doesn’t mean that everyone is free too Hyuk-ah…”

“N-neh…arasso hyung. Just…just forget I ask.”

 To be fair, Leeteuk is not the leader for nothing. Knowing the younger for more than 10years already, he couldn’t help but notice the dejected voice, poorly covered with a small smile that didn’t even reach the younger’s eyes.

That was how the anchovy came up to the upper dorm the night’s after to find Heechul messing around with Donghae, Yesung and Shindong on the living room’s floor, Kyu being forced by Siwon away from his Starcraft to help him set up the table and Leeteuk helping Ryeowook and Sungmin in the kitchen, few dishes already lined up at the side, ready to be served on the table, and broke out in the widest grin Leeteuk ever saw ever since last night.

And he thought the 2 hours he spent begging their manager hyungs and another hour spent being lectured by the same frustrated managers after the managers can’t take Leeteuk’s constant begging annoying the hell out of them anymore, who later started the confusing and tiring process of clearing everyone’s schedules for tonight, was nothing compared to that grin.

*****

“Teuk! Leeteuk!! Damn it!!!” He heard Heechul shouted his name but decided to ignore it anyway as he scrambled out of the car and sprinted blindly in between the cars still stuck in the traffic.

He was not going to wait like a moron sitting in the car forever and be patient, not when his dongsaeng probably lay stuck somewhere, terrified and hurt. Hell no. And obviously others were thinking the same thing too as he heard loud footsteps following him from behind, too loud to actually belong to only one person. 

He ran as fast as his leg can carry him, pushed past a couple of policemen guarding the periphery of the accident scene, shouting ‘Let go of me! That is my dongsaeng lying there damn it!!’ at their attempt to slow him down from being at Hyukjae’s side as fast as he can. His fierce but desperate shout completely made the 2 policemen taken aback, but at least the others behind him were let through without any more stupid, unnecessary question. The policemen probably figured not to cross the totally freaked out brother in time like this, as also the entourage behind him who even though not wearing the same expression on their face –what with some who looked like they will murder anyone that tried to hold them, or bawling their eyes out while running- different expressions, yes, but still conclude towards the same thing. Desperation.

However, he halted his step in shock upon seeing the overturned white SUV that he knew very much, damn, he probably can pick it out in a matter of seconds if one were to put the car in the midst of 50 other cars with same model. He cannot breathe. His heart’s beating at a speed he’s sure no doctors will deem as healthy --however because of his mad dash just now or because of the shock seeing the familiar car, he didn’t know. There’s a hammer pounding away in his skull at that very moment –deep within his heart, he knew he was hoping that he will not be seeing a car that he can recognize during his run towards the scene, but now that he’s here, and the car was completely recognizable to him despite being half-wrecked, the hammering came full force, it was dawned on him that maybe his heart cannot be crushed any more than it was being meanly crushed since he first overheard the 2 men in the restaurant, thus the realisation came in other form of torture to him, the skull-hammering.   

The gasps and louder howl behind him told him that yes, the car was familiar to his dongsaengs too.

*****

They were wasting their time in front of the tv watching drama no one actually paid attention to. Kyuhyun was once again absorbed in his Starcraft on his laptop, his hand came up sometimes to swat at Siwon’s hand that very much enjoying his current hobby of annoying the hell out the maknae, trying to make the poor boy lost his game. His back resting against the couch occupied by non-other than the resident Cinderella who earlier had harshly pulled down Hyukjae and Donghae who landed flat on the butts on the floor, so that he can occupy the seat, sharing it with the leader. The two eldest hyungs acting all mighty and stuff, supervising their dongsaengs in various positions on the floor from the couch, while they interrupt whichever activity they deemed interesting from time to time.

Sungmin on the other hand tried to teach a song on his guitar to Ryeowook at one corner. However, he clearly forgot a part of it himself thus resulting in a very funny-sounded piece of song. Not that anyone notice the sound pollution mind you, they were in fact making even more sound pollution than the two to notice it. Shindong and Yesung once again engaged in their previous sumo-or-whatever match they had earlier before dinner, only this time missing two participants, one converted into a cheerleader while the other one was busy playing a weird version of rock-paper-scissor with a certain anchovy, having hushed whispers and broke in loud guffaws in between. To put two and two together, all these brought about a scene no other sane person wants to be in, that include all the manager hyungs who had escaped very earlier on, clearly imagining this very scene when they decided to turn tail to preserve their sanity.

However, no one can resist smiling seeing the end result of the night. Ten grown men lay sprawled sleeping on the floor in a mess of limbs, pillows and blankets. The weird things however, it seemed that most of the pillows and blankets were nowhere near where they were supposed to be, resulting in the tired boys to use each other as pillows or in case of the two troublemakers of Super Junior, sharing a pillow while snuggling close to each other when Heechul, evil even in sleep, took away the blanket covering the fish and monkey and used it himself instead.

*****

Snapped out of his reverie by his dongsaengs’ wail, Leeteuk dashed towards 2 paramedics that were engaged in desperate discussion at the side.

“How is he??! How is my dongsaeng holding on? Tell me!!” The 2 paramedics looked shocked being interrupted by a frantic Leeteuk like that. Not to mention he had a horde of people behind him, looking more or less the same.

“Are you really the victim’s brother Sir?”

“Yes. Yes! I’m Jungsoo. Please tell me how is he? Jaebal…”

  “Thank God Jungsoo-shi you are here. Your brother is panicking under the wrack. We can’t reach him to help and he seems to not hear us when we try to communicate with him. But that must stop because him panicking and flailing like that will cause more damage to his body. I’m sorry Jungsoo-shi, but your brother is still stuck in between his car’s wrack and currently the firemen are trying to stabilise the car before they can cut it so that we can bring him out. Can you help us calm him down so that we can assess his injury? But you must stay calm yourself or you would aggravate his condition. A doctor is on the way.” The paramedic immediately explained the situation.

Leeteuk harshly wiped his tears away, forcing himself not to cry anymore even though he almost choked himself by doing so. Now is not the time to weep. Hyukjae needed him and he would be damned if he can’t be with him at time like this. He nodded to the paramedics, a façade of a strong hyung on place.

The paramedic brought Leeteuk nearing the wrecked car. Surprisingly, Donghae was right behind him, his earlier tears were nowhere on his face, only determination. He caught Donghae’s eyes when Donghae’s met his. Silent understanding to help Hyuk was strong on both men’s eyes.

Another paramedic who had been kneeling beside the overturned car scrambling to his legs when their party approaching. Leeteuk and Donghae wasted no time in taking his place, hearing Hyukjae’s frantic voice.

“No…no!! Get me out of here! Oh please God! I don’t wanna die yet! Help me….!” It broke the twos’ hearts seeing Hyukjae and heard his desperate plea, with tears streaming down his cheek.

Leeteuk caught the flailing hand and hold it as tight as he can in between his.

“No Hyuk no! You will be okay Hyuk! We promise you. Listen to me Hyuk . You are safe!”

Both he and Donghae desperately chanted the same mantra over and over again, fighting against all the noise and Hyukjae’s voice itself in order to make themselves heard.

Little by little, Hyukjae’s cries weakened as recognition dawned upon him. “Hyung, Hae! You’re here! Help me hyung! Help me. I don’t wanna die…”

“No Hyuk. You’re not going to die. We promise! Calm down or you’re gonna get hurt more. Please Hyuk. Let the paramedic help you okay?”

“It hurts hyung….It hurts so much…”

“We know Hyuk. I’m sorry. It’s going to be gone soon. I promise.”

Seeing that Hyukjae had calmed down, the two stepped aside in order to make way for the paramedics to do what they can for Hyukjae. Observing the scene up close, they took in how chaotic it was. The firemen were here and there bringing tools and machine they can only guess to be used to cut the car open. The lights from police cars and ambulance shone brightly making a circle motion of blue and red lights on the scene. The traffic got heavier. As for Hyukjae, they can’t reach him through the driver’s side’s window because that side was blocked by the tree that the car crashed into. Everything can only be done from the window of passenger’s side, making it even harder. There are many cuts on Eunhyuk’s face and hands, probably caused by the broken glass, blood still oozing out from them.  

The paramedics straighten up. “We had tried our best for the meantime. We have injected some morphine to help ease his pain. Could you please keep him company and make sure he’s calm until the firemen deem it safe to start cutting the car open Jungsoo-shi?”

They nodded briskly before resuming their previous positions beside the car.

“Hey there Hyuk. How are you feeling? Are you feeling any pain?” Leeteuk asked, with pretence bravery he learned after years of being an idol. He once again reached for Eunhyuk’s hand that lay weakly on the surface of the road, grateful that Hyukjae is now calm once again.

“They are going to get you out in no time Hyukkie. Don’t worry okay. You are…you are going to be okay and we can dance together again when you get better alright?” Donghae said, rubbing his best friend’s hand assuringly. “We will annoy Heechul hyung and pull a prank on Kyuhyunnie and whine to Ryeowookie to bake us the strawberry cake that you like so much. Sungmin hyung is just there Eunhyukkie, you love hugging him right? He’s just there Hyukkie-ah, you don’t wanna make him more worried neh? Who’s gonna save us from hyung’s nunchaku when he’s angry again Hyukkie ah? He only listens to you so you have to get better n-neh?”

Tears pooled at the corner of his eyes. He’s desperate. There are so much more to do with his Hyuk.

“You…wish…Fishy! I’m not…saving you…from Sungminnie hyung again.” Eunhyuk chuckled weakly to his best friend.

From the corner of his eyes, Donghae can see that the head fireman already meet the doctor who just arrived. The doctor nodded to what the head fireman was saying and made his way to them. He told them the firemen are ready to start the process of opening the car up and he will be supervising Eunhyuk’s condition.

“Hyuk, we are going to have to step aside for a while okay? They are going to get you out and we will be there with you again after, okay?” Leeteuk told Eunhyuk before reluctantly let go of his dongsaeng’s hand.

They went and stood nervously with the other members at the side a few meters away. The sound of the chainsaw being started can be heard and not long after, the sound of something hard being cut followed.

“STOP!!”

Out of nowhere, a shout rang in their ears and they all can feel as if their hearts stop along with the sound of the chainsaw.

*****

“Hyuk, take care okay. Make sure you win in the Dream Team today. Hwaiting!”

“Yeah hyung. Make sure to kick that Minho kid today arasso?” Kyu, the always evil maknae shouted as he got into the van.

Sungmin smacked Kyuhyun’s head, muttering “Language young man…language.”

Kyuhyun whined as he rubbed his abused head while Sungmin bounced happily back to Eunhyuk who had been standing beside their van, sending s off.

“Don’t worry Hyukkie. You are doing great! Don’t mind that Kyu kid. As if he can beat Minho if it was him in Dream Team. Tsk…I don’t even think he knows how to run properly let alone how to do Dream Team.”

“Yah hyung! I can hear you, you know!” came a shout from the backseat of the van.

“I know. That’s why I didn’t bother to lower my voice.” Sungmin shouted back over his shoulder.

Eunhyuk just laughed seeing s’ changing words, or bickering, if you prefer.

Super Junior had a photo shoot at the countryside that weekend but since Hyukjae needed to film for Dream Team first, his other members were going first and he will follow after he finished filming on the evening. And here he was, sending off s before he went off to his schedule as well. Another one of their managers will drive him while their other manager went with the 9 members this morning.

“Hyung, take care okay? I’ll see you this evening.” Siwon patted his back masculinely and flashed his actor smile to him.

“Yah Siwonnie! Make sure you control that hyper fishy of yours before he manages to drown himself somewhere. I heard there’s a beautiful lake near the photo shoot site.”

“Yah Hyuk! What do you take me for? Am I that troublesome that I need to have Siwonnie watching over me?” came Donghae’s whine from behind before he engaged Eunhyuk in a headlock. Revenge is just sweet.

“Siwonnie! Siwonnie! Help me! Take your fishy away!” Eunhyuk playfully begged.

“My fishy, hyung? He’s never mine. You can take him. I never want him in the first place hyung!” Siwon supplies. Being EunSiHae, they were always goofing around with each other. And since Donghae was always the sensitive one, the two of them always make him as their teasing target.

“Yahhhh!! How dare you two monkey and horsey don’t want this mighty fishy! Come here you brats! I’ll make you regret ever ditch me!”

Shouts and pleas soon filled the car park as Donghae proceeded to take both Eunhyuk and Siwon into a headlock and a battle commenced. Imagine how awkward it is seeing the taller, model-like Siwon being manhandled by a much smaller fish like Donghae. Not to mention how much noise the three were making.

The three just stopped when they each got a smack on the head by Heechul for interrupting ‘his lovely morning’, as he put it, each muttering an oww and pouting.

“Hyung! Hyung-ieee!! Don’t forget to eat your lunch okay~” the eternal maknae, the ever so caring Ryeowook told Eunhyuk before hugging him with one hand. Eunhyuk ruffled the maknae’s hair and replied with a ‘yes mom!’

“Hyung, are you sure I can’t bring Ddang along? It will miss me!” Eunhyuk grinned at his Yesung hyung who currently pestering their manager hyung to bring his pet along. He walked to his hyung and put his hand around Yesung’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry hyung. Your Ddangkoma will be fine in the dorm. If you bring him along, he might like it there at the photo shoot site and insist on staying there for good. Do you want that to happen hyung?” he supplied.

Yesung adopted a thinking-hard-look.

“Ok then. Ddangkoma can stay here. Bye Hyuk. See you when I see you!” Yesung immediately answered and waved him goodbye before jumping into the van as well.

Their manager hyung sent a grateful look to Eunhyuk who just laugh at their manager’s desperation. His Yesung hyung is just weird that way. Always obsess over his turtle.

But later, his laugh died down as he saw one by one of s fit into the vans.

“Hyuk, you’ll be okay right? Take care during your shooting today okay?” Leeteuk, his leader asked concernedly seeing his downcast face.

“Hyung….can’t I go with you guys?” He whined even though he knew there’s no way their manager hyung will let him skip his schedule like that. He doesn’t know why, but he felt like being with his brothers today.

“Hyuk, don’t be crazy. You’ll be joining us later this evening right? Just a few hours won’t make a difference Hyukkie. Now be a good boy and do your best today arasso? I’ll make sure to save a feast for you during dinner tonight if you win.”

Leeteuk, even though got a bit perplexed with how Eunhyuk was acting, tried to cheer his dongsaeng up. Eunhyuk had been acting strange today. He insisted on sending them off at the car park even though he never did that before. He seemed a bit clingy this morning during breakfast too, hugging everyone he can all the time. And he seemed genuinely sad when seeing one by one of the members went into then vans just now. Seriously, what is there to be sad about when they will meet back later this evening anyway?

Heechul heard the two and sensing Eunhyuk’s sadness, he decided to meddle.

“Yeah. Only if you win monkey! If not, you only got one serving only during dinner tonight!”

“I’ll hold you to that Heechul hyung! You are going to save me five servings tonight hyung!” Eunhyuk replied.

“Win first monkey~ talk later.”

With that, the vans went off. Leeteuk looked back and saw Eunhyuk waved till the anchovy went out of sight when they turned a corner. However, the expression Eunhyuk wore remained in the leader’s mind long after that; that longing expression Leeteuk had never seen before.

*****

Every member’s heart almost stopped along with the saw. They followed the doctor whose composure now wavered a bit with their eyes, silent prayers under their breaths. They saw how the doctor ran towards the wreck and kneeled beside the car, his head almost lost from their vision. Five minutes felt like days to the anxious members.

What came next was just complete nightmare to them all. Hearts broken and faces blurred with tears, they were told that the rescue mission cannot be continued. There’s a piece of metal stuck in their Hyukjae’s side, on the course to his heart, and any attempt to mess with the car will just shove the metal further into him and kill him straightaway. But at the rate Hyukjae is bleeding right now, it’s just a matter of time before he went into shock and died.

That’s it. It was either killed him now, or left him bleeding to death in front of their eyes.

Either way, they are going to lose Hyukjae.

Their Hyukjae.

Dead.

Leeteuk turned deathly pale.

Heechul looked almost like he wanna strangled the doctor for saying it.

Yesung and Shindong went stiff, not completely believing.

Sungmin. Sungmin who is Hyukjae’s hyung in all but blood turned around and punched the tree with all his might.

Donghae almost went into shock himself, it was his dad’s all over again.

Siwon can only hold Donghae’s weakened body tightly in his.

Ryeowook wailed like he never did before.

And Kyuhyun. The same Kyuhyun who had Hyukjae praying with him when he was in an accident himself, failed to stay as strong as his Hyukjae hyung. Chocking on his own sob.

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing else we can do. Say..say goodbye to him when you still have time. I’m truly sorry.”

And they can feel a hand clenched their heart in a vice grip.

*****

“Hyukjae-shi, what is Super Junior to you?”

“They are my partners in chasing dreams, brothers…..”

“Hurm….anything else Hyukjae-shi?”

“…Yes, they are my life.”

*******************

Thanks to a few of you who subs to this story :)  I'm sorry for the angst. Actually I wrote almost two third of this a year ago when I was in finals mood but never really got the chance to finish it till now (angst mood comes back since another finals is in another 2weeks). Finals always puts me in torturing-my-bias-mood apparently. Excuse the mistakes and all, afterall I'm just mostly a beginner in writing :P Do comment if you can alright? :)