What happened to me?

What happened to the smiling, aegyo little boy who was never angry or sad with anyone?

How did I become like this?

Everything is hazy in my mind, but I think I remember when it first started.

I was called invisible by my friends who were almost like brothers. They are completely right.

I am not someone one would notice easily. I am not the best singer, the best dancer, the best actor, or the best looking.

I did not use to be like this.

Long ago, I was the multitalented boy, who could learn nearly anything and pick up random skills in the span of a day. I was Lee Sungmin, the adorable pink bunny.

I say 'was' because that is not who I am now. I slowly faded away into the background. I was like the distant memory of a beloved who passed into the next world.

One difference though. Memories of loved ones heal. I will never heal.

My best is always not enough.

Sometimes I think that your sudden increase in popularity was at my expense.

I have seen it. The wave of Kyuhyun-biased fangirls, the more fan fictions written about you and Zhou Mi, you getting the Miina dance break over me, and getting about forty seconds of singing in Tai Wan Mei while I barely had nine. You with your dark velvety voice that makes me dizzy, your evil smirk, and the occasional childlike grin that creeps through the veil of darkness when you think no one is looking.

And I still cannot hate you for this.
Why must my heart betray me? Can I not even summon one shred of hate for the hurt I go through?

It just goes to show how worthless I am.

But you, you seem so unbearably perfect in every way.

Being called 'dead weight' in Super Junior by critical fangirls. I try to smile and pretend it does not matter, but then it hurts even more. Even those who defend me cannot heal the wounds. Only you can, but you do not know, and I do not want you to think I am weak and unable to control my emotions.

I am sitting outside in the night, in a park in Quebec. According to Henry who can read English, it is named Parc Angrignon. We came here for a tour, and I have gone out by myself while everyone else stays in and has a drinking party. No one even noticed me leave.

The swing I am sitting on rocks back and forth slightly as my legs absently kick. The moon is clearly visible in the sky. Because it is night, everything seems sort of grayscale. It is cold, but not too much. My black hair, in the same style as Miina, covers my eye. I do not bother to brush it back with my hand.

"Sungmin-hyung?" your velvet smooth voice rings out softly but clearly, as well as the the unmistakeable sound of your footsteps. I do not reply.

You keep on coming closer, and closer, until you are standing right in front of me. I see your face, with that sweet, genuinely concerned expression. That face alone makes me want to break down and start crying.

"Why did you leave, hyung? Everyone is having a good time." you say. I still do not reply.

"I noticed you seemed unhappy for a while... What is it? You can tell me."

So he did notice, despite my best attempts to hide it. My best is always not enough.
I am starting to crack. My lower lip is trembling from your gentle words.

You do not know how much I want to let it all out and cry in front of you. But I do not want to cause you trouble, because I love you.

"G-go, Kyuhyun. Just leave me alone." I stumble over my words. "I'm okay."

Crack.

Your eyes narrow. "Hyung, clearly you are not okay. Please, tell me! I can't stand to see you like this... It makes my heart break..."

"And why would you care?" I nearly shout.

Crack.

"Because I..." you falter for a second, and then firmly say, "Because I love you."

Shatter.

Finally, I break down, tears pouring down my cheeks and sobs shaking my entire body. You reach out to me, and hold me in your arms as the unbearable pain of four years is released.

I am not sure how long I cry, but you do not complain, and wait patiently for my answer. The warmth of your hug is soothing, and I am sure that I would have cried longer without it.

Eventually, I manage to choke out, "I- I just- feel so worthless..." my words still punctuated with sobs.

"Why would you think that, hyung?" your face darkens slightly.

"Because... I'm not the best at anything. Because people have forgotten me."

"Sungmin!" you say, shocked. "How can you think that you are worthless? People have not forgotten you. On the Internet, so many fans I see commenting, 'Where is Sungmin-oppa, how come he doesn't have the dance break?' or 'Why doesn't he have more lines?' And why does it matter anyway? Because there will always be someone who remembers you. Me."

I manage to make a small smile through my tears. If I am good enough for you, than my best is enough.

Time taken: ~30 min, because my iPod was being a dirtbag >.<
Please comment! This was written really fast, so do point out any errors or typos! Especially two 'the's in a row.