"Ya! Ok taecyeon!! Don't cut vertical!"
"No I'm not"
"What?! This is vertical! I told you horizontal!"
"Ya~ do by yourself"
"aiHsss~ useless"

This little conversation was from my bestfriend, sooyoung and my secret lovely boy, taecyeon.

"Sica I have to go to buy other scraper .. Because that beastly guy cut it wrong.. Do you want to go with us?" Sooyoung pointed herself and sunny. I shook my head.
"I should finish my business"

Alright, I should finished my sketch for the art design for our miniature. Our class attended on an exhibition and I was the architecture of the building miniature. As a leader of the class, taec should helped us as well.

"What should I do?" He said.
"Could you cut this side for me?" I told him about side-wall of building and he nodded his head.

We kept our place so in deep silence. I would tell you something amazing about me.. That guy, were my first love.. I have a deep feeling for him but I wouldn't he knew about it. Whether afraid or regret always haunted my heart. He kind of player guy who have different woman in every month. That's why I was afraid.. And he kind of someone who couldn't see me as a woman, that's why I regret. Sometimes I wondered, should I confessed first and got a reject or I kept in silence but got nothing. I would be a girl that could melt his frozen heart. I would be a girl that he ran toward. Of course I knew he would be never did it.

Because he was ok taecyeon, afterall.

"I..I.." Suddenly he stuttered
"What do you want to say?"
"I have a request for you" My eyes widen, this was the first time he said that he wanted something from me.

"What is it?"
"Could you tell me.. What was yoona like?" He said like whispered. In otherword he hesitated to said but finally he said. Yoona was one of my course friend.. I knew that ok taec was a player but, it was first time for me to heard he wanted to know about someone. My eyes were all wet as long as I looked other side. I wiped my tears and put my fake smile.
"Why?" I really forced my heart too much.

'Please, someone stop my mouth' my heart in a disguised.

"I.. No, forget it" he looked at my reddish eyes and decided to canceled what he wanted to said.
"Yaa~ you two... I'm back" everything turned well after sooyoung and sunny break the silence. Sometimes I'm envy with sunny and sooyoung because they could talked to taecyeon comfy. I wanted to yelled and screamed to him like a normal person but I should keep my manner in front of him because I want to be a burden. Somehow, I try to act different from usual in front of taec. I scared I false but I hope that would be right. But.. I might be false when I saw my bestfriends.

Next week , exhibition held. I excited and proud with our great miniature. This miniature was contained our spirit And hope. Our hope was frail after we got second place winner. It okay, because whatever I took we still the winner.

"You got an ability to be architecture" sooyoung praised me.
"Thank you"

"Jessica...." My representative called me and signed in to followed her

.....

 

"Jinjja? Oh my gosh! That player?"

I stopped when my friend talked about a player. I was sure it was ok taecyeon.

"I'm sorry. What did you talking about?" I asked
"Hmm.. We are talking about ok taecyeon.." The blonde one said
"May I know, what matter?"
"Oh its okay, all of the school know anyway.. He confessed to the yoona.. And they are in relationship now"

My heart.. Broken into million pieces. My knees were weak like a jelly. I leaned in a wall and hoped that the wall could relieved my pain.

"Sica are you alright?" They grabbed my shoulder. My eyes blurred and wet.. My head dizzy and I was like a deaf person, suddenly I couldn't hear anything but the echoed of his voice a week ago

'Could you tell me.. What was yoona like?' My tears kept down and my heart was ached. It was really hurt.

"Sica!!!" I heard a scream. Yoona and... Taecyeon were together. They ran to me and I maintained myself from hurt feeling.
"Why you're sit here? Are you sick?" Yoona was good woman. And taec was good enough for her.
"I'm okay, just.. Shocked"
"Why?" She asked to the girls with me

"No nothing.. I just tired"
"Let's go home .. I'll take you home" taec grabbed my arms and led me to his car.
"I will waiting here.. Drop her in her home, I need to do something" yoona didn't want to follow us. Gratefully.
"Okay, I'll be back after drop her" taec replayed.

.....

I guess god gave me a strong heart not without a reason. It was created to love taecyeon in different way. But the way was too pain and too much tears. A second I want to not fell for him but a second I want to love him. He wasn't a beast (like all my friend called him) he just different guy. I have so many reasons to hate him but as well as reasons to love him. Now, on the name of my love I would took care of my love away from you..

"Yes.. I'll go" I said without hesitated.

"Great. I will sign the contract" the representative school excited.

We talked about my study aboard. A UV in canada heard my ability in design so they called me to study aboard without fee tuition.

"Its my time to focus and forget about taecyeon. Please y'all support me. I will be far from you but we still be able to communicate trough cyber.." I sured my bestfriend. Sooyoung and sunny nodded they won't be a burden to me.. They agreed with my decision and support me full of their heart.
"I'll go to canada often. I have relatives there.." Sunny said.
"I'll come to" sooyoung added.
"Thanks all.. I love you.. Blessed to have you as my bestfriend" I hugged them fully with grateful tears.

.....

A day before I went to canada.

"I bought three vest for me, sooyoung and sunny in different color but same pattern. And two couple chain of phone for taec and yoona" I said to my mom.
"Don't force yourself to smile hunny"

mom knew well who am I. It was because ok taecyeon. I called him with forcefully smile.

"Mom.. Can you tell them to not come in airport? I won't they come.. It will be a burden to me to leave them"
"Really ?? but.."
"Mom .." I interrupted my mom and stared her with pleaded sight.

"Okay.. Tell them you're already leaving.."
"Okay..."

....

Early in the morning I was in waiting for my plane. I waited for 15 minuets before I flight. I sighed.. I don't know what to say but I remembered about one thing.

'I don't know that I was truely falling for her.. I think I realized what love is. I'm loving yoona. Sometimes I wonder, am I a true guy for her. I don't want to hurt her.' I by chance heard about taec conversation with sooyoung. I knew sooyoung keep in secret because she won't make me sad. But I already realized. Taec won't ever be true like his heart belong to yoona. I have no space. I was already left by my love. I was completely ignored.

.....

10 years after..

"Mrs jessica.. Your schedule is here" tiffany my bestfriend and also my assistant gave me a piece of paper.
"Fany.. We will go to korea next week?" I found myself happy because that was my first time after 5 years.
"Yeah.. Happy huh mrs.jung sooyeon ?" She called me with my korean name.

Actually I was born in new york and raised in korea. You can called fany as my childhood friend because we were born in the same hospital in new york.

"No~ I'm doing my business there not found my first love" I slapped my thought away from my mind.
"Yeah.. I know and I don't say you will find your first love sica"
"Yeah yeah.. Okay, let's go to california.. We have a schedule there" Tiffany chuckled.
"Alright.. Mrs.jung"

....

(AUTHOR POV)

'its been so long, latest I met her in the senior high school. Now she's a professional designer..' A guy watched the television in his middle of business.
"Mr ok! you got a call from mrs.choi" junho, ok manager called. He wrapped the papers and got the phone.
"Yoboseyo? Yeah.. Really?"

.....

Jessica dropped herself in the couch in her home. Its been so long since she left her home to reached her dream.

"Mom, I want to eat ddokkbukki. May I go with sooyoung and sunny?"
"Yes.. Wait.. How about that guy?" Mom asked her.
"Who?"
"Your..."
"Oh.. I hope he wont interrupt us. Mom.. Sooyoung already there I should go with fany"
"Okay okay.. Careful dear"
"Yes mom"

...

"Sooyoung! Sunny!!" Sica hugged them. Fany bowed them too, they too.
"Its been so long.. 9 years ago you still have blonde hair, but now you changed it with brown" sunny complaint
"Yeah.. Its trend in Canada" sica told her. They both make a friendly conversation about what's going on past 10 years and keep cheer each other. Since their dialogue stopped in taec name.

"I heard he own his parent company.. So it should be ok's game company?" I asked.
"Yes.. He is won the project yesterday. I'm his model's company " sooyoung Told sica.
"Ah yeah.. You're his company model.. Yeah yeah" sica pouted her lip.

"Ehm.. Excuse me" a deep voice that isica never forget swept her smile just by a second.

"Its been so long jessica.." He said in his sincerity.

"Yes.Its been so long , ok taecyeon.. " Sica held his heart to not shook for hopefulness.
....

For some reasons sooyoung, sunny and fany (already knew sica's past secret) leave jessica with taec in the dokkbukki place.

"I'm grate with your job. You're busy person now" sica teased. After 10 years sica finally could became herself in front of taec face.
"You too.. You're famous now" he said.
"What bring you here taec?" Sica with her cold eyes saw him.
"No~ just want to meet you"
"Oh.. Really? I mean by yourself? Where's yoona?" Sica asked like her heart didn't trembled.

"We.. Broke up 8 years ago. She's in germany now"
"Really?" Sica's eyes widen.
"Yes.. Actually I'm here for say something to you..."

(TAECYEON POV)

Oh damn, she's never that beautiful before..
I can't control myself.

"We.. Broke up 8 years ago. She's in germany now"
"Really?" Her eyes widen.

That pure eyes..
I'm happy to see that eyes, again.

"Yes.. Actually I'm here for say something to you..." I prepared myself and a something in my pocket.

(JESSICA POV)

"Yes.. Actually I'm here for say something to you..." He searched something but suddenly he stopped when he heard a warm greeting

"Hunny.." A voice leaned to me and a man figure stopped next to me.

"Why? You're here? I told you to not here.. Didn't my mom said to you?" I hissed under my breath. I turned my gazed to taec. He looked me and a man next to me then saw me again. I bitterly smiled to him.

"Mr.ok he's .. My...."

(TAECYEON POV)

"Hunny.."

A voice greeted sica warmly and stood next to her. I stared him, he seems famous but.. I hesitated.. But he called her hunny. I heard something cracked.

"Why? You're here? I told you to not here.. Didn't my mom said to you?" Sica complaint him and sighed. She turned his eyes to me. bitterly smiled to me. Her genuine smile was gone.
"Mr.ok he's .. My...."
"I'm lee donghae.. SM ent's son owner. And.. I'm sica fiancee" he gave his hand to me. For a second I felt that the things that cracked was my heart..

Finally.. I knew.. She was not a single woman.

(AUTHOR POV)

"Wow you have a guy now sica?" Taec bitter smile put in his face.

So did sica.

"Yeah.. I'm not single anymore.. Someone left me before but no I'm not single anylonger.." She said. Touched taec heart.

'Someone left her' he asked himself.

"Oh~ may I know who are you?" A guy called donghae asked taec.
"I'm.. I'm ... Her old friend" taec stuttered. Sica sighed..
"Old friend.. Yes, old friend" sica confirmed.
"Oh jinjja? Its so glad you still remember your old friend. I'm already forgot my old friend. They are far away and we aren't keep in touch so.. Yeah" donghae try to light the warm atmosphere.
"Yah! You always forget your friend. Call them right away.. You're terrible! Geez! " Sica pinched his arm.
"Okaay okaay" donghae screamed in pain. Taec stared them in small smile.
"Oh.. Taec, I forgot.. What do you want to say? I just remembered you want to say something to me" sica turn her gaze to taec. "Oh~ no .. I just want you to visit my company, its glad if you want to join my design project" taec hushed under his heart.
"Oh okay.. I'll say to my company.." She nodded.

"Dear~ appa called us. Wedding invitations are ready.. That's why I'm here" donghae grabbed sica hand.
"Really? Oh.. No.." Sica seemed hard to leave taec. Because it is the first time for her to meet taec, and also the last time to meet him as a haven't-married woman.

"Its okay, you should go for your wedding right? I will come to your wedding.. If you invite me" taec said.

Sica saw him with unknownable feeling. Somehow it felt sorrow and painful sight in taec's eyes. His words hurt her not knowingly.
"Of course as sica old friend you are invited" donghae answered. Sica threw away her gazed.
"Uhm, I'm sorry.. It seems that we have to go now. Taec.. See you in wedding soon.. Yeah.. In wedding.. Bye" Sica walked away leave taec with her own thought and pain, again.. She had a broken feeling.

....

(JESSICA POV)

I already knew that I was in engaged with donghae. But after met him again.. I realized that I was the one who still love him in other way. An hour ago I hoped that he will saw me in his different before. But.. I guess he won't ever changed. He still unable to read my heart. What was that? He will come to my wedding?! Taec.. Please, don't come or I'll be the worst girl in the world for leaving you (thought you won't ever feel such a feel). You smile with those smile, I gave up taec.. I gave up in you. I could finally realized.. You won't ever be able to recognized my feeling.. my deepest feeling.

"Sica.. Are you alright?" Donghae called me. His arm wrapped my shoulder.
"Ah.. Yes" I sighed. Although I loved donghae but taec still own my 60% heart.
"Do you sick?" He rested his hand on my cheek. I shook my head.
"Aniya.. I just want us to married soon" I told him.

This is my limit. My limit for loving taec.. And start to love donghae who truly love me for who I am.

"Be patient.. Why do you suddenly want to marry huh?" he teased me.
"I don't know.. I won't let you go. You're the best I had" I hugged him. He caressing my cheek and smiled.
"You too.."

....

(TAECYEON POV)

She's gone. Already.. I sighed.. I took my cellphone out from my shirt pocket. The chain.. Which I keep.. Its her present before she left korea.
"I love you.. "

 

"But its late.. You're already engaged"

The day when you left korea, I searched you in anywhere. But found you left.. I'm sorry for pretend and didn't care with your feeling but actually, I didn't want to hurt you. That's why I won't confess you.. I hurt when you look me with those pure eyes. I can't really loving you that time. But everything changed after you went away.. I missed you. I want to see you. I told to sooyoung but she didn't know that you're leaving too.

Also..

About yoona, she already knew your feeling and my feeling, we decided to broke up after we're passed in UV. She now in german with GDragon, her husband..

"Hff~ thank you for keep your heart for me. I'm sorry.. I couldn't resist your sincerity. I'm sorry for acknowledge your feeling yet do nothing just like a coward." I took something that actually I wanted to gave her. A little box.. Contained a ring.