Warning: Implied .

Too silent.

It was too silent for his own liking and this kind of silence was pushing him to the edge of insanity.

His world has been ed up since the occurrence of that DVD. He thought that everything would be fine between him and his lover…that everything would return to normal…that his lover could redeem him from the bottomless abyss that he was sinking into. But he was wrong, very wrong… because it seems that his own lover will personally deliver him to that abyss, complete with wrappers and ribbons.

Sitting on the edge of Hoya’s bed, since he was too weak to climb to his own bunk, he stared at the bottle of sleeping pills and antidepressant that was resting on the top of his drawer. The bottles seemed glowing, inviting him to drown his miseries with it. The thought of suicide by overdosage was less inviting for him. No…overdosage is for the weak-hearted, it was cowardly, it was for those who wanted to die the easy way. It was for those people that wanted to die but always wanted to be saved. So why commit suicide then when you still wanted to live? It will be a great hypocrisy. To Sungjong, jumping over the edge was the best for him.  It was to his liking, just like the way Icarus died. The moment that he fly nearer to his light, his sun, the surer he was signing a one way ticket to hell. Sungjong's like an angel. An angel with clipped wings whose savior cannot save him from falling headfirst into a pit of unknown darkness and a place of no return. Because that was what Lee Sungjong was exactly feeling at the moment, he thought that L would be his savior but he was mistaken. He can say that L provided him with the happiness that he was craving for since he was a little kid…that L was the one that covered the dents in his being caused by his family but still, when Sungjong assessed his situation right now, there are more pain than happiness and love. And maybe that pain will be overpowered with the pain that he will experience when he jumped off from the edge of their apartment’s rooftop.

He intended to say his final goodbye to his lover, calling him over the phone and saying that he was ready to let L go. They were both hurting each other and he wanted to end the pain that he was inflicting towards his lover. Maybe L would be back to being Myungsoo when he set him free...maybe it was his own selfishness that was holding back the smiles on their visual’s face.

Sungjong grabbed his phone that was beside his medicines. With shaking fingers, he dialed the number of L… numbers that he was so familiar with and had already memorized throughout the years that they were together. He waited for him to answer it while taking hold of his medicine bottle and silently inspecting it. He was conflicted…if he commits overdosage, will there be someone to save him? Will there be someone to come to rescue him, to whisper sweet nothings on his ears as medics transport him to the hospital, to hold his hand and to reassure him that he will survive? Will there be that someone for him?

But Sungjong’s thought has been broken when he heard voices from the other line. No… not voices… it sounds like moans, whimpers of pleasures, whispers of love, screams of needs that wanted to be released. Sounds that come from lovers that was consummating their love for each other. It was laced with love and not pure only and that pierced Sungjong’s heart.

“Do you love me?” a voice on the other side of the line asked, breathlessly. It belongs to a man. It was a different person. Not the one that he saw on the DVD.

“Yes.” It was the response of the other person, short but full of need. Clearly, it was L’s voice.

“I love you.” L whispered repeatedly and Sungjong knew that he was showering the other party with kisses throughout his body. Sungjong knew it very well because L used to do that to him.

“I love you too.” The other party pulled L into one needy kiss and that was the one that snapped the remaining thread of insanity inside Sungjong. It may be that he was only listening to them but it was like a scene being played right before his eyes. Like the DVD that was sent to him.

Sungjong’s mind commanded him to shut down his phone so that further damage could be avoided but his body rejected it. He continued to listen to the two people that were committing a sin against him. Sin, that according to the Bible, is punishable with death. Despite of the slackness of his grip on his phone, he could hear them very clear, as if the sounds that they were making amplified a hundred times.

He wanted to cry but no tears seemed to come out from his eyes. It was already drained… all of his tears were drained because of him…because of them. One thing was only running in his already messy mind.  Death… it glows like a neon sign, beaconing him to his near demise. And that snapped him… he screamed with the remaining strength he possess. He screamed at the same time flinging his phone towards the other side on the room. scream that resonated throughout their dorm, drowning out the scream of L as he has his release. He missed that L screamed Sungjong’s own name as he release to the person that was definitely not Sungjong. His phone was broken…shattered into several pieces just like his heart.  

He looked in the mirror, quietly looking at his pitiful reflection. Unshed tears gave his eyes a haunting look…a glimmer full of pain and again. He grabbed his medicine and opened it. He poured an ample amount in his hands and stared back in the mirror. Maybe he would try overdosage this time and watched his reflection as he neared his death. He looked down to the medicines that were in his hand, a mixture of sleeping pills and antidepressants.  A grimace was form on his face, he couldn’t do it. He didn’t want to die with that pitiful method. Instead of drinking the medicines, he threw it around him. After all, it would not be needed anymore. Afterwards, a crashing sound was heard…a sound of mirror breaking into pieces. He punched the mirror but the pain he has inflicted to himself was not enough. His heart still hurt and his brain screamed for him to run…run to the rooftop and do something sinister. That’s why he ran, not minding that his hand was bloody…that he was barefooted…and that he has bumped into someone. All he wanted that moment was to reach the rooftop and search for his comfort there.

Meanwhile, a gasp could be heard in INFINITE’s dorm as Hoya checked his room after the maknae ran away from them.  It was a real disaster. On the floor were the pieces of their maknae’s broken phone, medications and Hoya’s mirror. Hoya couldn’t help it but back away from their room, bothered by what happened inside it. He didn’t have any clue of what took place inside it a while ago but all he knew was Sungjong was hurting. Their maknae was in pain and the scene inside the room reflected the inner turmoil their maknae was experiencing.

Hoya was pulled out from his trance him Dongwoo pulled him into a comforting hug. Dongwoo was crying…he was crying for Hoya… for Sungjong…and for his self, since the former was to stun with the pain his favorite brother was experiencing. They stayed in that position for several minutes until Sunggyu and Woohyun entered their dorm, worry evident in their already tired eyess. However, instead of slumping back in the floor, Sunggyu went in the kitchen to get some cleaning materials while Woohyun directly went inside HoJong’s shared room to start cleaning it, murmuring something about cleaning it and clearing the evidence of Sungjong’s breakdown before he returned with a certain coffee-loving choding.

The four of them were in the middle of cleaning when Sunggyu’s phone rang. He neglected at first, but the caller was insistent. After 30 minutes of insistent ringing, Sunggyu decided to answer the call. It was Ilhoon. Thinking that it was another prank of his hoobae, he almost ended the call but hearing the desperate plea of Ilhoon to listen to him first before ending the call made him to think otherwise. The young man on the other side of the line asked him to open their television to a specific channel; Sunggyu was hesitant but eventually gave in after shouting to Ilhoon that if it was one of his method to pissed him off, Ilhoon should searched for a hiding place because he was so busy right now and Ilhoon was only wasting his precious time.

It was a news channel and the current breaking news causes him to drop his phone. A news brought from hell that will change everything in INFINITE.

Okay... this update maybe a little rush but i hope everyone has enjoyed reading this.

BTW, lemon cookies for those that guess correctly who ran after our favorite maknae. Yes, it was Sungyeollie...hehe...

but for the identity of 'snow white'... keep guessing guys... You have a clue... It's not a woman but a man and not the person on the DVD.

Another question: What was the news all about? 

My utmost thanks to those that continue to support my stories. You guys really keep my day going.

from Rhay with love.

P.S.: Next chapter... everything will be revealed.