25 Nov 2012..

====

You wrapped your petite body with your blanket, laying lazily on the bed of yours.

I wonder what are you doing right now, Kai oppa.

Kai, the name who always brighten your day, never failed curved an angelic smile of your;. But now, there is no more. No more laugh, no more his presence especially no more his love.

Your eyes burst out of tears;, long slides of tears keep falling down through your cheeks. I must move on for him, I must forget him.. But how?

You walked to your mirror, looking at your face. Puppy eyes, red nose, messy hair- enough to say that you crying all night long because of him. You wiped your tears, tied your messy hair into ponny hair. As you comb your hair, your eyes caught a beautiful frame picture beside your mirror. You glanced at the frame picture intensely. Without your knowing, your tears falling again, your heart broke into million pices as you see him and you in the picture; smiling with each other, showed his affection by peeking your cheek.

You go to your window, sitting on it; bend your knees, hugging It closer to your chest into your arm. You stared at the sky.Moon and star be your loyal accompany since you leaved him. Yes, you dumped your own love.

It is snowing. Snow keep falling outside as you watched them with admire.

 

“I love snow!!” You jumped like a little child, tried to catch the snow that keep falling from the sky.

“I know, my love.” Kai backhugged you from behind, nuzzled his head into your neck. You just giggled at his action.

“I know you hate snow as you hate cold, right?” You ruffled his hair, lightly.

“Of course not since my love loves snow very much!” He denied, trying to make you happy. You sighed, pulled you out from his embrace. You cupped his face, staring into his mysterious eyes deeply.

“You don’t have to like anything that I like, oppa.” You curved an angelic smile at him.

“I will love anything that you love and dislike anything that you don’t like, my love.” He kissed your forehead, full of love.

“If I don’t like you, will you don’t like yourself?” You asked, just to .

He confused, engulfed you into his warm embrace.

“Hmmm, let me think.”  He tapped his chin, thinking for the right answer.

“I think that will never happen because I know you love me too much. Instead, im too hot to resist! Ahahaha!” he laughed, enjoyed his comment.

“Hello, Kai-sshi. Don’t too proud of yourself. I love myself more than you. Blewkkkk :p!” You stuck out your tongue, run away from him.

“Yahh! Come back here!” Kai chased from you.

“Catch me if you can!” You laughed, run faster than before.

 

Despite of your current sadness, who get a massive heartbroken, you can not help but smiled a little as you flashbacked your sweet memories with him.

RING DING DONG

You take a glance on the clock. 12 midnight..

You looked outside, watching a night sky. Happy 2^nd anniversary, Kai oppa..

You buried your face into your arm, cried again and again.

 

You took a glance on your watch. 1.43 pm.. Just 2 more minutes.. Suddenly, you heard a knock in front your door. You stoop up from the couch, take a very deep breath. Help me, god.

You open the door, revealing your lovely boyfriend, Kim Jongin a.k.a Kai. He flashed a sweet smiled even he exhausted with his busy schedules as Dancing Machine of Exo. Yes, he is Kai’s Exo-K, your boyfriend.

“Hi, my love..” He pulled your waist into his arm, buried your small figure into his embrace. He placed his hed on your shoulder, smelling your sweet scent. You want to hug him, but you avoided yourself to do that.

You felt your heart clenched as you remember what you want to do next with him. He caressed your long hair, full of love.  You bit your lowered lip as tears begun to stroll down your check. You don’t want to look weak in front of him today.

As he satisfied hugging you like no tomorrow, he loosen his grip on your waist. You hung your head down, don’t want to meet his eyes.

“Omo, what happen to you, my love?” He lifted up your chin, as your eyes make a contact with his eyes.

Take a deep breath,.. “Oppa, lets break up” You whispered in lower voice, but enough to hear by Kai.

“What did you say?” Kai stared deeply into your eyes, waiting for answer.

You sighed, tried to shallow all the pain inside your heart. You curled a fist, tried to gain some strength but how can if your strength is him?

“LETS.BREAK.UP” You emphasized word by word, even everytime you say those words same as you stabbed your own heart with knives again and again.

“NO! I don’t want! I will never let you go from me!” Kai yelled at you; hurt and angry rushed in him right now.

“You must!” I raised your voice as well.

“WHY?!” He shook your body, violently. You swear you can see he is now hurt, despair and heartbroken by looking in his eyes.

“I don’t love you anymore..”lies, You whispered, not looking at his eyes. You know you will soften as you see he is hurt because of you, just you.

I love you so much more than myself, oppa..

“LIE!!” He attacked you back, ruffled his hair in frustrated.

“Im not lying! Just leave me..!” You pushed him aside but he grabbed your wrist, pulled you into his hug.

“Let me go, oppa!” you screamed as you tears strolling down your cheek.

“NO! I will not!” he tighten his grip on your waist, kissed your exposed shoulder. You twisted your body multiples times, keep on struggled to escape from his embrace.

“Oppa, just let me go!!” You placed your palm on his chest, pushed him hard. You panted hard, as your energy is faded away because too much struggling in his embrace.

“JUST GO AWAY FROM MY LIFE NOW!” You yelled at him,as your tears keep falling down.

“WHY YOU DID THIS TO ME??! WHY?!”

“BECAUSE I DON’T LO-“

“!”, he pushed your body on the couch, harshly; making you laying on the couch.

"Oppa!!" You yelped in shock because of his sudden action, As you want to get off from the couch, he immediatedly grabbed wrist and intertwined your finger with his; pinned you palm beside your head. He hovered slightly above your body.

"Look at me, now!" He commanded you, stared into your eyes deeply.

However you looked away, avoided his gaze.. Seeing him in this condition, heart broken, makes your heart ripped in million pieces,  It is hurt you even more as you knew you is the one who caused him in this situation… You just want to hug her, comfort her but you can't..

"Why you avoided my gaze? Scared you will be falling for me again?" He whispered at you, enough to send an electricity through your spine.

"Of course not. Im will never falling for you again, never" You emphasized the word 'never' with your shacky voice. Hiseyes b with tears as you finished your words.

"Oh, really? Even after i do this?" He asked you, hold his tears from falling down.

"Do wh-?"

He cut off your words, crushed your lips against his, forcefully.

You widened her eyes; shocked with his sudden action and tried to push him away with her strength. Unfortunely, he trapped your hand in his grip. The kiss was hard, full of anger.

 “Hmmpphhh!” you tried to pull away the kiss as now his right hand on the back of her neck while the other on her cheek, trying to deepen the kiss. 

“S—TO-P!!”  you placed your palm on his chest so you can pushed him back. But, no use.!

“Oppa, stop!” You keep on struggle in his grip but he ignored you, still continued his jobs; devouring your lips..

Suddenly,

PANGG!

You slapped him across his face, hard. “Don’t ever touch me again! Get out now!” You wiped your tears, harshly. Seeing him in this heartbroken state ripped your heart again and again. He get off from the couch, released you frim his grip.

“Why you being like this?” He whispered, enough to hear by you.

“I don’t lo-“

“ with ‘I don’t love you anymore’!” He pushed your backside harshly against a big mirror, trapped you in his arms. His gaze piercing into your eyes, showing how despair he now.

“If you at my shoes, I want to break up with you without any specific reason, will you accept it? Will you?!!” He smacked his fist against the mirror, released his anger toward you. Blood started dropping on the floor.

“Yahh!. You hurt yourself!” You run towards him, grabbed his hand. You saw bruises formed on his hand.

Out of sudden, he yanked his hand from your grip, harshly.

“Don’t ever concerned about me again as you hurt me more than I hurt myself.” He splashed anger and hatred in his eyes to you.

You smile bitterly, hide your pain inside.

“Im sorry..” You hung your face down, tried to hide your tears.

He walked towards you,slowly. He buried his face on your shoulder.

“Sorry is not enough for what you did to me, my love. I wish you will happy with your life.” He whispered at your ear and kissed your forehead for the last time. For the last time.