I would like to thank all the 47 subscribers!

RedBird,clarestcho,JTHY36,Infinitex7,iminlovewifLJH,beastblaq,heartless-mindless,chanbaeksoo270212,jajacho0311,namseonaa,EXOsaranghae,shahirashera,KariKari,khayin,lameduck,Roseclear,Jessica_Park,hyun_k,Seeanne,mistydanes,megustashinee,LeaderMaknae,Elyne140295,EunKyung90,MiinZiie,angeltears-315,Noewol,Aileya,JhenLuvsJayPark,mikeandikelover,iam_andie07,Infinite4ever,LeeNiNaCho,FireflyShy,only--,Myeongyeol,BeautyDarkAngel, nicole_jello,Poison-Ivy,wacko_o,missblank,cHuBByChEEks_04,byungseob,JeflancaRenata,imaginedreamlove,Elaine_.

MIANHAE GUYS FOR THE LONG WAIT!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After recovering or so you thought, you got yourself back to working again in the café your friend owned since you needed extra money for college plus you could help your friend, it’s a win-win situation. At first after your break up with your now ex-boyfriend Kim Suho or Kim Joonmyun, you’ve holed up yourself in your dorm thinking how stupid of you to let those words came out of your mouth. To be honest you didn’t want to break up with him it was just the stress, pressure, pride and your insecurities.

Having a boyfriend as perfect as Suho was like a roller coaster ride; yes there was happiness but the down side about it was all those futile tries to prove to people that you are worth it for him but neither less people still thought that you are not in the same level with him thus making you unfit to be his girlfriend. Maybe it was one of the reasons why stress was taking its toll on you. Plus all those hurtful things that people said to you or you’ve heard are just adding up to your insecurities, you were never that confident with yourself; your logic was that you are not considered as pretty, yes you consider yourself as a girl with brains but on personality wise you were scared to let yourself out , you’d rather be a wall flower well you are one it’s just that people are so judgmental; every little mistake they’ll remember but when you’ve done a good deed for them their gratitude would be short lived. That’s the ugly nature of humans.

After you’ve done wallowing yourself of self-pity and regret you’ve thought to yourself you were fine before Suho came in to your life what’s the difference now that he walked out of it?  But the voice in your head nagged you that everything won’t be the same or turn back to the way it used to be but denial was a and you’ve willed yourself to believe that you could continue living and so that’s what brought you to working again.

When you’re working at a famous because it’s located near the university belt, it helps your mind being preoccupied rather than drifting off with thoughts of what if’s with your relationship with Suho never ended.

~oOo~

It was now the same routine for you , no more of the surprise visits from Suho on your way to your dorm, no more getting shocked with seeing him outside of your class waiting for you, no more Suho staying for hours in the café, no more Suho in your life to be exact.  Just waking up early to go search some books in the library, attending all of your classes, if there’s a spare time going to the library again to avoid people giving you pitiful gaze, working for extra hours in the café to just forget about things.

A week has gone by with you just staying that way and thank God you haven’t seen Suho or else you would break down of just thinking of the what if’s.

But it seems you’re luck officially ended when the bell of the café rang and the person you’ve dreaded to see just came strutting in with his hands on a waist of a woman!

Damn it’s already just been 3 weeks since you’ve broken up with him yet he has the nerve to get a new one and just flaunt it in your face?!

You couldn’t believe it he was shamelessly flaunting what seems to be his current girlfriend in the café your close friend own, the café Suho knows that you’re childhood close friend own! The saying jaw dropped was an understatement; your jaw dropped till it reached the earth’s core. Suho was always this gentle man , smiling all the time even if there’s an awkward atmosphere lingering, even if you’re mad for no reason, patient and understanding just the perfect angel but how come you’ve never saw this side of him? In a million years you would never thought that he would come visit here again for he was a man who knows decency and even though seems like it he doesn’t has a pride but he does it’s just hidden.

Damn it for having your shift at the counter right now! How can you face him? Act nonchalantly like his just any other customer? Act friendly to him? Or just run away at the back and let your co-worker take over and just make up an excuse?

Racking your brain for answers in such a short notice didn’t help you at all to resolve what you would do because he was now in front of you with what seems to be his girl.

 “Uhm may I have the Caffe Americano and what would you like?” He asked sweetly to the woman he was with.

Your stomach sank because at up close she was really pretty; porcelain skin, light brown wavy haired, doe eyes. She is qualified to be an ulzzang or she is one, your  insecurities eating  you up at the moment; You felt like you were nothing compared to her, straight black hair, glasses taking away the attention from your  best asset as your parents say your eyes, You’ve felt  feel so insignificant and unattractive at her presence, your self-confidence shrinking at her presence but still you masked your grimace on the inside with a fake smile since you were still working.

“Hmm, what do you recommend?” She said wistfully scanning the menu board high up the wall behind me.

You turned your attention to her , just keeping this stiff smile in your face.

“I recommend our seasonal drinks right now which is the White Chocolate Mocha.”

“Fine, I’ll get that.” She said turning to Suho with a smile. Show casing her pearly white aligned set of teeth.

“Is that all?” You said just wanting to get this done and over with too much awkwardness in the air plus the tension was seriously to be broke.

“Do you want anything more?” Suho turning to her with the smile he only used with you.

Making you cringe on the inside, the hell what is happening?

“That’s all oppa, we have to get to the park and catch the movies so we should make it fast.” She said batting her eyelashes, snaking her hands at Suho’s arm latching her arms their securely.

“That would all be $4.” You said punching in the amount in the computer printing out the receipt.

“You’re order would be done in minutes please wait over the booth there.”  You said motioning them to one of the booths.

What shocked the living day lights out of you was that Suho lead her to the booth you and him always sat at, far from the door with a dim light in the corner perfect if you’re looking for privacy.

Okay so now you were fuming in the inside but a lady like you would never let it show, it was like a rule in your family to just stay passive at all times, just use an emotionless face all the time, a woman like you would never let her anger show at such petty situations.

Letting out a dragged exhale the inhale, you’ve started to work on their drinks.

While doing so you’ve there has been this annoying and nagging feeling inside of you.

Why are you so damn affected? You’ve broken up with him right? So what gives you the right to feel jealous? He has his own life, he deserves happiness for Pete’s sake!  Let go of the green monster damn it!  You thought to yourself as you bit your lip.

With a sigh after getting their drinks in a tray you trudge your way to the booth they were seating with this heavy feeling.

You set their drinks in front of them.

“Please enjoy your drinks.”  You said bowing to them then turning your back making your way to the cashier.

As you heard them get up from their seat you stopped your steps and gave them a side glance. What taken you a back was there was this longing look plastered at Suho’s face as you can fell his stare was on you, fighting the feeling to just continue walking you decided to do the opposite; you looked at him locking eyes with him.

There was not a trace of happiness in his eyes, even if the girl he was with was intertwining their fingers, clinging into his arm, still he was not breaking the staring contest between the two of you.

To be honest you were melting and crying out at the inside, you’ve felt like you have no right to look at him but then you can’t help it your heart was yearning out for him but then your mind was shouting at you to look away and forget about  the past.

As they made their way to the door, you’ve turned your gaze at your side getting back to the station of coffee.

As you saw their back turning and leaving the café.

Suho turned around and gaze at you with this pained looked; which you cannot define if it’s because of sadness, anger it was just confusing.

It was so confusing that it was all messed up.

You asked your co-worker to cover for you as you headed to the bathroom looking the doors, and turning the faucet on and splashing water at your face; as their descend down your face you looked at your reflection at the mirror.

I still love him. I will change myself to get him back, to prove to every one they can’t judge me anymore.

You thought as you threw your glasses at the trash bin and tying your hair up in a high pony tail.

Just wait and see Suho that I will be worth for you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WELL HEHEH HOPE YOU LIKE MY START?! PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME!!