kan sat down on his couch and stretched is tired muscles. it’s been more than busy for f.cuz these days, and even with this evening off, kan could think of nothing more fun than laying down right here, and sleeping straight til his next schedule.

 

this hope was dashed immediately when yejun burst through the door, set his sights on kan, and made a b-line right for him.
before kan even had a chance to say hello, yejun was spouting off at lighting speed,

“hyung! let’s go out tonight! we haven’t had a night off in forever! aishh, i feel like i’ve been trapped these days! let’s have some fun, okay?”

he tugged on kan's sleeve, but kan sighed and brushed his hand away.

“i don’t feel like it tonight.” he said. 

 

any other night, and he would have followed yejun to the clubs like an excited puppy, watching him dance and drink, and maybe even do a bit of the same.

but not tonight. tonight he just wanted for the himself and the boy he cared for to just be here, safe and relaxed. it didn’t seem like that was in yejun’s plans, though. he whined and pouted until kan finally conceded.

 

“okay, okay, listen. how about you bring a bottle over and we can just have fun here?” he pleaded, hoping that would be enough to appease him.

 

yejun huffed at kan, but agreed, and went off to get some wine.

 

when he returned, they sat together and took turns taking pulls from the bottle, kan barely letting the alcohol touch his lips, while yejun took down large gulps, often followed by hiccups.

 

they talked for a while about work and their bandmates, who wouldn’t be back til tomorrow, off on their own schedules.

 

“it gets so hard sometimes though. even with the whole country watching me, i feel like no one really sees me, or sees what i really need… or what i want.” yejun stated.

 

this hit kan hard. yejun was his bandmate, who he cared for, watched over, took care of. was his attention and care not enough for him? didn't he notice it?

 

“well i agreed to spend time with you tonight, didn’t i?” kan replied.

 

“yeahh” yejun slurred, taking another pull from the bottle, finishing it off, “but you still don’t see what i neeeed.” he continued.

 

kan was confused, what does he need that hasn't been provided for him? i listen to him and make sure he stays out of trouble, and he is healthy and eats well. 
but he wanted to try and make yejun feel better, because somehow over the years f.cuz had been together, yejun had grown closest to kan’s heart. even though he would never admit it to yejun, or his bandmates, or even to himself most times.

 

“what then? what do you need?” he asked, still quite sober and collected, ready to try and help in whatever way he could.

 

“it’s not even what i neeed, hyung, i think i just neeed it becuase i waant it.”

 

“what-- yejun, you’re not even making sense. tell me what you want. are you upset about not getting to go out? it would be better if we just—”

 

but he was cut off by yejun’s hand resting on his mouth, him mustering a stern look, and saying “shhhh, just… just hold me, okay? what i need is just for you to hold me right now. i don’t even wanna talk anymore.”

 

then yejun crawled into kan’s lap and s his arms around his torso, resting his head on his shoulder, like a child would.

 

even if he had wanted kan to say anything, he was completely out of words. he could not believe how vulnerable yejun looked in that moment, when only a minute ago he was so rambunctious and playful.

 

his heart went out to yejun, and he wrapped one arm around the boy in his lap, using the other to softly his hair.

 

they shifted so they were laying down, yejun still clinging to kan who, albeit reluctantly, continued to softly yejun’s hair, sometimes rubbing his back a little, or giving him a small reassuring squeeze.

 

it wasn’t long before yejun was completely passed out, still holding relentlessly onto his hyung. kan sighed, but placed a small kiss on yejun’s forehead before letting himself drift off as well, hoping despite himself that maybe the next night they had together would end up a lot like this.