i woke up slowly, realising that it was monday, i made my way to the bathroom, freashened up and munched on the breakfast, i was the only one home, it was the usual for me...all the while being alone...it was becoming kind of a habit actually. But it wasn't like this before, i was always surrounded by friends, always had someone to talk to. I missed all of it, they are the one thing that i am living for...i would've killed myself otherwise. I tought about all the fun and dorky times i had with Taeminnie, and the secret midnight snacks with Onew-hyung. The endless dance practices with Minho and Jonghyun hyung and the shopping with Key-hyung...they always treated me like family, and i was always thankful for that, i didnt like being alone, they would still call, but for me that not enough, i want them here, with me, to make me feel needed again...

"You took them for granted Jongin-ah, you thought they'll always be around"

My inner voice told, i always hated it...because it was always right. I miss them a lot, in this completely unknown city in china, I have no idea who to go to, i feel like crying, i feel like jumping on a flight and going back home, going back to korea, but thats not possible now is it??

I hate that old man who calls himself my father, hes a nitwit, just on a whim of his he moved the whole damn family from korea to china...he's crazy...i pleaded with him, i told him to let me stay with my Taeminne, but he said that he needed me here to take care of the family, i agreed because i know they need me, they cannot depend on such an idiot like him.

I woke up from the trance and looked at the clock, it was getting late. I walked to school, alone again...but i felt thats its going to be different today...like evrything was going to change.

 

*******

 

Its been a few days since I started to feel this good about something, its like premonition, i know something is going to change. And it was on my way to my school that i noticed the SM entertaiments global audition posters on the wall, it was supposed to take place in the auditorium of my school. I didn't give it much thought to it then because I know that if I do get in, i would have to leave my family in my dads grace and I am not so keen about that. Family means much more than dance right??

But boy was i  wrong, the moment I entered the homeroom they pushed me towards the auditorium for the auditions, and i was forced to take part in it. And i cannot pretend that i can't dance, infact i am supposed to be the best dancer in this school and was back at home as well, with a little competation from the guys ofcourse!!

 

*******

 

I got in, not much of a surprice after all, i have superior dancing skills...the thing was that they didn't tell me this face to face, they sent the letter home, and dad saw it, he knew i had a passion for dancing and immediately booked tickets for me to Seoul, and he didn't even ask me about it. Imagine my surprice when I came home to see all my things packed, and ready to leave.  I was too shocked to even speak, i just went to my room and sat on my bed, thinking about how to tell them that I am not going. And thats when the pld man comes in.

"Jongin-ah...we are all so proud of you son, your mother and I will support you, don't think about us much okay? Just live your life...and this is your chance to. We all know you love dancing, just go ahead Jongin-ah, we'll always cheer for you. Become what I could only dream of becoming..."

Tears made their down his face, this is the first time I've evr seen him cry, seeing him cry made cry too, and then i realised that dads the strongest man ever, he was saying sorry for all he has done, I am sory too dad, I am really sorry. Thats when i heard a click, i looked towards the door to see my sister with a camera in her hands and an evil smirk...meaning she just took a photo of this "historic" moment, and is not going to let me ever forget it, not that will, it is historic after all!!

And with a silly grin plasterd on my face I made my way to Korea, home, and my future...which is hopefully good. A sudden tension started to creep in when I made my way to the arrival, I felt, uneasy, and unsure, just praying to god that life somehow turns out good, thats all i need...or so i thought...